Bitter Karella posts
Posts: 632
Files: 77
Midnight Pals: Ramble On
Stephen King: hey remember when led zeppelin did that song about Gollum stealing bilbo's girlfriend?JRR Tolkien: whatKing: yeah you knowKing: ramble onTolkien: WHATKing: [singing] "ramble on"King: "And now's the time, the time is nowKing: "To sing my song"King: "I'...
Midnight Pals: Dune vs Middle Earth
Frank Herbert: i'm going to tell a story about this space cocaine that lets you do super hard math and its made of worm poop, inshallahJRR Tolkien:Tolkien: i hate thisTolkien: i hate this so muchStephen King: why do you hate dune so much?Tolkien: isn't it obvious?Dean Koontz: is it because y...
Midnight Pals: Fictional Writer
Jamie Lee Curtis: hello midnight society King: jamie lee curtis! oh wow! King: i loved you in Shelley Duvall's Tall Tales & Legends Curtis: oh yeah i was in that Curtis: sorry that's not usually what people recognize me from King: why? what else have you been in? Curtis:Curtis: i was in hall...
Midnight Pals: Tenebous at 3
Matt Blairstone: i'm matt blairstone of tenebrous pressBlairstone: publisher of such quality literature as split screamBlairstone: featuring bitter karella's The Ballad of Horse GirlBlairstone: available where ever fine books are soldKing: sorry, what was that name again?King: i forgotBlairs...
Midnight Pals: The Sower
Octavia Butler: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the parable of the sowerButler: the parable of the tale of the sowerButler: the tale of the sowerButler: boy that's really not workingButler: for this story, i think it's time to look to the futurePoe...
Midnight Pals: Stephen Leaves
Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnightElon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyy stephano kingKing: what is it now elonMusk: eyyyy you mean el supreme generalissimo Musk esqMusk: grand high director of da us department of very funny memesMusk: i slasha da government wasteMusk: now we ge...
Midnight Pals: Elon's Victory
Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of Elon Musk: [emerging from bushes] eyyy Stephano king King: well well well if it isn't the president's wife King: zing! King: hahaha King: get it guys, guess he likes trump so much Barker: yeah we get it...
Midnight Pals: Lukundoo
Edward Lucas White: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the lukundooWhite: ok so imagine thisWhite: an explorer in darkest Africa falls victim to a witch doctor's curseKing: oh boy this sounds like it might be a little bit yikesWhite: buddy, you have NO id...
Midnight Pals: The Bad Timeline
Harry Turtledove: greetings citizens of earth 16Poe: hi harryKing: hi harryKoontz: hiLovecraft: helloBarker: heyTurtledove: i hope that the timeline hasn't been irrevocably altered during my uneventful absenceTurtledove: i'm back from my secret mission on behalf of the Temporal Corps correct...
Midnight Pals: Dark Days Coming
King: hey guys sorry i'm late King: i just could not get up this morning King: feels like I've been sleeping for days King: what did i miss? King: how did the election go? Lovecraft: not too bad King: King: oh no King: oh no oh no oh noLovecraft: don't worry steve it won't be so bad ...
Midnight Pals: Hyena Eyes
Ray Aldridge: submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the hyena eyesAldridge: have you ever thought how scary i would be if your boyfriend just spent all day on FurryMUCKAldridge: in the future, you can get a skein implant that allows you to be furryAldridge: you ...
Midnight Pals: Mask Off
Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the m Elon Musk: [emerging from bushes in full SS uniform] eyyy stephano king Musk: you lika my new outfit? King: what?? No!!! King: i don't! King: i don't like it at all!King: elon are you a nazi? Musk: no no ima not a nazi, i just thinka there...
Midnight Pals: Fandom
Alan Moore: [appearing in a clap of thunder] BEHOLD! King: the arch magus! Barker: the arch magus! Poe: the arch magus! Lovecraft: the arch magus! Koontz: the grand nagus! Poe: no dean Poe: that's not right Poe: that's star trek Moore: and that is exactly what i came to talk to you all about...
Midnight Pals: Bury Your Gays
Chuck Tingle: hello chums it's me chuck tingle, totally normal guyTingle: tonight i have a totally normal story for youKing: oh boy! a real tingler! i can't wait!King: i bet it's real whacky and off the wall!Tingle: haha not at all chumTingle: it's actually quite normal and restraine...
Midnight Pals: Peerage
JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: boy it's been sso trying lately Rowling: the british government keepss trying to give me a peerage Rowling: but i keep telling them 'look, i'm too busy with the transsphobia to wasste time cutting ribbonss at sshopping mallss' Rowling: i have my pr...
Midnight Pals: Palmer Mystery
Ray Palmer: listen midnight society i got a crazy story you gotta hear!Palmer: i found this guy, Richard shaverPalmer: he's got a story you wouldn't believePalmer: but every word of it is the god's honest truth!Palmer: if i'm lying, may lightening strike me down!Palmer: go ahead Rich...
Midnight Pals: Jurassichrist
Michael Allen Rose: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, Michael allen rose presents the tale of jurassichrist by Michael allen rose, read by Michael allen rose, performed by Michael allen rose, with special denouement by Michael allen roseRose: musical accompaniment by Michael Allen ...
Midnight Pals: Fairy Stories
AM Shine: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Pals, I call this tale the return of the fairiesShine: In our last episode, our heroine had just escaped the forest where the evil fairies livedShine: but turns outShine: the evil fairies aren't just in the forestShine: now they're everywh...
Midnight Pals: Crickets
[at terfcon 2024]Helen Joyce: good morning to all my fellow terfsJoyce: welcome to terfon '24Joyce: as a reminder, please don't take off your JK Rowling masks outside of the headless loungeJoyce: and no drinking before wine o'clock!Joyce: and the hotel has asked us not to put any more &#...
Midnight Pals: The Devil's Cat
William W Johnstone: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the devil's catJohnstone: don't like it? don't worryJohnstone: in the time that it took you to read that sentence, i just wrote 8 new booksJohnstone: and some of them are about COWBOYS!Johnst...
Midnight Pals: Muppet LOTR
[at unicorn fuck club]Jim Henson: hi ho jim the Henson hereHenson: tonight I've got a fantasy story i think you'll really enjoyHenson: it's about a planet inhabited entirely by puppetsHenson: [flailing arms wildly] yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!Henson: on a distant planet, the dark crystal cracksHen...
Midnight Pals: The Mystery of San Gottardo
HR Giger: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the mystery of San GottardoGiger: einmal war das die dinsbum dass war armen und beinen die biomachaniker kartofelsalatGiger: es gibt Zwei versciedene autobahn volkwagen pfarphegnugenGiger: untermessengruber schmeck...
Midnight Pals: Biology
JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: i am born again! hallelujah! Rowling: tell me Rowling: have you heard Rowling: the good word about biology? Poe: what Poe: what is this now?Rowling: on the Scottish census, i answered that my religion is "biology" Poe: King: Koontz: Lovecraft: Barker: damn...
Midnight Pals podcast: Season 2 coming!
BIG NEWS! Season 2 of the Midnight Pals podcast is coming soon, so enjoy a little October season preview with a little mini-episode where the Pals meet Candyman in... The Tale of the Candyman! 🍭🍬https://midnight-pals.simplecast.com/episodes/the-tale-of-the-candyman
Midnight Pals: Roast
Laird Barron: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of more dark Barron: it's about this reclusive horror writer called Tom L Barron: no wait that's too obvious Barron: let's just call him T LigottiBarron: anyway, this horror writer, Tom L, everyone thi...
Midnight Pals: Wizards
[at unicorn fuck club] Brandon Sanderson: boy, i love being a fantasy writer! Sanderson: and the best part of being a fantasy writer? Sanderson: it's talking about wizards! Terry Goodkind: wizards? did you say wizards?? Goodkind: i LOVE talking about wizards! Sanderson: me TOO!Sanderson: i mean,...
Midnight Pals: Italian PM
Stephen King: submitted for the Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] heeey stephano king! Musk: i justa wanta you to know Musk: i did notta have an affair witha the prime minister offa italy, Signora Topogigio Primavera!Musk: me anna signora primavera Musk: we did notta haffa romantic candlelight dinner ...
Midnight Pals: Carrie
Stephen King: check it out guys! King: they're publishing a book of essays about Carrie! King: we got richard chizmar, bentley little, mick garris, norman prentiss, tom deady, Anthony Breznican Angela Carter: are there any women involved in this King: oh yeah of course of course Carter: King:Car...
Midnight Pals: Sssspace Sstory 2
JK Rowling: i don't need you lot!Rowling: i don't need any of you!Rowling: i'm gonna go over to sspace coven to tell my new sstory!Barker: yeah have fun with thatRowling: I will!!Barker: they're all a bunch of nerds over there!Poe: now clive that's not very fairBarker: she's ...
