Bitter Karella posts
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Midnight Pals: No Politics
Damien Leone: hey so some of you might have heard that art the clown hates trumpKing:Barker:Koontz:Poe:Lovecraft:Leone: now i just want to address this rumorBarker: ya know you really don't need toLeone: no i think it's importantBarker: to address the rumor that art the clown hates trump?Leo...
Midnight Pals: Terrifier
Damien Leone: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the evil clownKing: oh, is it a demon that appear as a clown to scare children?Leone: what? noLeone: it's just a regular clownBarker: what, likeBarker: from a circus?Leone: no the clown has no back storyLeo...
Midnight Pals: All the Diseases
Wrath James White: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the bug collectorJones: it's about a guy who's sexually excited by getting diseasesMichael J. Seidlinger: niceBarker: sexually excited by diseases?Barker: well i don't know anything about disea...
Midnight Pals: Muskworld
Stephen King: submitted for the approval of theElon Musk: [rising out of bushes] eyyy stephano kingKing: oh great it's elonMusk: uh uh uh stephano king maybe you no heara da newsMusk: now it's mista signore el supremo his excellency generalismo god emperor elon musk, head of the turkmen!Musk...
Midnight Pals: Corn
Tom Tryon: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of harvest homeTryon: gentlemen, behold!Tryon: CORN!King: oh i don't know about thisKing: i already wrote a corn based folk horror storyTryon: this timeTryon: will be different!Tryon: are you guys ready for the d...
Midnight Pals: Inklings
Charles Williams: i love to do Christian magicAleister Crowley: ugh! this sucksCrowley: why don't you go hang out and be Christian with your inkling pals!Williams: fine! i will!Williams: hey guys you know what really rules?CS Lewis: what?Williams: being ChristianLewis: oh man that's for sure...
Midnight Pals: Butt Toucher
Edward Lee: broLee: you spank chicks?Charles Williams: oh yes, quiteLee: broLee: likeLee: you touch their butts?Williams: yesLee: broLee: that's sick broLee: you gotta show me how you do that broLee: wait a minute broLee: this isn't likeLee: part of that white magic shit is it, bro?Lee: i...
Midnight Pals: White Mage
Charles Williams: Submitted for the approval of the midnight pals, I call this the tale of the devil and the ladyWilliams: it's about a woman who gets impregnated by the devil to birth the antichristIra Levin: hey wait a minuteWilliams: the whole reason that the concept is scary, you see, is bec...
Midnight Pals: Sorry if i scared you
Mae Murray: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i all this the tale of the girl who gets possessed by her sentient abortionMurray: but don't worry, this abortion just wants to have funMurray: abortions just wannaMurray: they just wannaMurray: abortions just wanna have funMurray: ...
Midnight Pals: Factory Fun
Thomas Ligotti: i hope you've all had fun with these jovial tales of jolly clowns, puppets and festivalsKing: and how!Ligotti: but now it's time to turn our attention to more adult mattersLigotti: to the world of workKing: ohLigotti: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call...
Midnight Pals: Nosferatu
Robert Eggers: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the nosferatuBarker: oh we've heard this one beforeEggers: not the way i tell it!Barker: has it got farting in it?Eggers: n-no!Eggers: i do more than just fart movies for your information!Barker: this soun...
Midnight Pals: The white powder that makes you into a goo
Arthur Machen: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the white powderMachen: it's about this white powder that turns you into a big blob of gooBarker: haha oh man i hate when that happensBarker: hahaha- ohBarker: oh shit i'm sorryLor Gislason: bloop bloo...
Midnight Pals: Psychic Self-Defense
Dion Fortune: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the winged bullFortune: its about a woman who falls in with an evil occult society run by this disgusting slug of a man hugo astleyAleister Crowley: haha couldn't be meFortune: who also wears a pyramid hatC...
Midnight Pals: Prince Bytor
Stephen King: i'm gonna be over at unicorn fuck club tonight Clive Barker: yeah me too Poe: why are you both going to unicorn fuck club tonight? Barker: why not? it's my prerogative Poe:Poe: clive what are you doing? Barker: what makes you think I'm doing something? King: we're going...
Midnight Pals: Graveyard Smash
Craig Brownlie: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the monster friendsBrownlie: it's about a bunch of monsters who get together in order to have some sort ofBrownlie: some sort ofBrownlie: well, i guess you could call it a smash or a bash or somethingKing...
Midnight Pals: Tears of a Clown
Hailey Piper: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call the tale of the clown transformationBarker: how sexy is this clown tfPiper: it's not really sexyBarker:Barker: could it be sexy?Barker: is it about making clowns gay as fuck?Barker: because, to be clear, i would be down for...
Midnight Pals: Puppygal Sluts
Garrett Cook: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the harem of trans puppygirl werewolf slutsBarker: yes... ha ha YES!Barker: there isn't a word in that sentence that i dislikeCook: so sometimes you're just a trans puppygirl in search of a polyculeCook...
Midnight Pals: The Monkey
Stephen King: guys, big news!King: my story the monkey is being adapted for the big screen!King: by james wan and Osgood Perkins!King: they're really in right now!Barker: yeah you have fun with thatKing: this is gonna be really exciting!King: especially for edgar, since he's scared of monkey...
Midnight Pals: So Much for the Tolerant Left
Jesse Singal: mommy mommy i was murdered and no one cares Big 5 Publisher: poor boy! we care, jesse! here, have another publishing contract Singal: b-but last time my book got remaindered Publisher: it's ok jesse, we don't mind losing money Publisher: the important thing is that you feel bet...
Midnight Pals: The Return
[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: jesssse ssssingal returnsss Rowling: what newsss, wormtongue? Rowling: isss it good? Jesse Singal: mommy mommy don't hit meSingal: mommy mommy it turns out that bluesky is bad! Rowling: what???? Singal: yeah! it turns out t...
Midnight Pals: Quality Journalism
Jesse Singal: [crying into the fisher price talky telephone] help police please send help Singal: the trans were mean to me online! Singal: and for no reason! Singal: i'm just a journalist asking questions! Katherine Huggins: [ears perk up] just asking questions you saaaaay?Katherine Huggins: he...
Midnight Pals: The Passion of Jesse
[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: what newsss, wormtongue? Rowling: how goes the infiltration of bluesssky? Jesse Singal: mommy mommy Singal: it was SO HARD Singal: the trans were SO MEAN Singal: they all blocked me! Singal: i was almost ignored to death!Rowlin...
Midnight Pals: Fanfic
Poe: welcome to tonight's meeting of the midnight society Mary Shelley: sup fuckers? Poe: you're just in time, mary Poe: Washington irving was about to tell a story Shelley: Shelley: [sweats] oh shitWashington Irving: [lighting pipe] ba ba ba ba boo Irving: hey old man good to see you Irving...
Midnight Pals: Just askin questions
[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: i'm back from my advissory role in the transs genocide Rowling: Obergruppenführer ssstarmer thought i had sssome real interessting new ideasss Rowling: well, real interessting old ideass actually Rowling: ssome real classs...
Midnight Pals: Obelisk
Wyle E. Young: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the big black obelisk Lovecraft: [sweats] a big black obelisk??? Young: that's right Young: made of really weird stone that's so black Young: like blacker than black Lovecraft: is the stone greasy?Love...
Midnight Pals: Radio Googoo
Stephen King: guys i'm kinda bummed todayKing: as you know i own 3 radio stations in the Bangor maine areaPoe:Barker:Koontz:Lovecraft:King: but unfortunately i have to shut them downPoe: steve! no!Stephen King: sorry edgar, it's timeKing: i love radio but they keep losing moneyBarker: why? d...
Midnight Pals: Eyes
Rebecca Rowland: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the optic nerve Rowland: it's about a scientist who's researching a pill to restore eyesight Rowland: but he accidentally makes himself psychic Rowland: as you doRowland: now he's psychically con...
Midnight Pals: HBO
King: guys, did you hear that there's a new harry potter series on HBO?Barker: steve i could not care less because i am not a childBarker: i'm an adult and when i want to watch a show about child wizards going to schoolBarker: i watch a show about child wizards going to school that's for...
Midnight Pals: D&D
Elon Musk: mama miaMusk: life, itsa seems so emptyMusk: [touching a framed portrait of Stephen King] since my-a best frienda moved awayMusk: i'm-a so depressedMusk: grok, what shoulda i doGrok: [slur]Musk: mama mia, you are righta,grok!Musk: i SHOULD buy Hasbro to secure the rights to dungeons a...
