Bitter Karella
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Midnight Pals: Psychic Self-Defense
🕑 Added 2025-01-06 17:00:13 +0000 UTCDion Fortune: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the winged bull
Fortune: its about a woman who falls in with an evil occult society run by this disgusting slug of a man hugo astley
Aleister Crowley: haha couldn't be me
Fortune: who also wears a pyramid hat
Crowley: wait a minute
Fortune: now hugo Astley's occult society is irresponsible and wanton
Fortune: not like mine
Fortune: i like my occult societies to be socially acceptable and on the up and up
Barker: this sucks
Poe: clive
Fortune: see, the occult isn't about orgies and hashish
Fortune: it's about morals and ethics and carnal forbearance
Barker: oh my GOD
Barker: i hate this SO much
Crowley: hey wait a minute is that hugo Astley guy supposed to be me??
Crowley: ooo! so you think i'm real gross do you, dion?
Crowley: well maybe you'll rethink what gross means
Crowley: when you smell like cat piss!
Crowley: I'M THE GREAT BEAST!!! DO WHAT THOU WILT!!
King: oh jeez!
King: what's that awful smell?
Barker: it smells like cat piss!
King:
Barker:
Poe:
Koontz:
Lovecraft: why are you all looking at me?
Barker: well you do like cats soooo
Lovecraft: edgar likes cats just as much!
Barker: yeah but honestly
Barker: you just seem like a cat piss sort of guy, howard
Dion Fortune: i'm sorry, everyone, it's me
King:
Poe:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Barker:
Poe: do you have a cat?
Fortune: no it's a curse
Poe: it's a curse?
Dion Fortune: yeah i got cursed to smell like cat piss
Barker: damn that's real rough
Barker: sounds like maybe you ought to read up on your psychic self-defense
Poe: clive
Fortune: for your information
Fortune: i wrote the book on psychic self-defense
Barker: and yet here you are
Barker: smelling of cat piss
Fortune:
Barker: and we're supposed to take you as an authority huh?
Poe: clive
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers
Shelley: what's UGHHH
Shelley: the fuck is that unholy stench???
Dion Fortune: that's me
Fortune: i was cursed to smell like cat piss
Shelley: someone open a fucking window, jesus christ
Shelley: what's wrong with you lot?
Shelley: just stewing in it, ugh!
Dion Fortune: don't worry everyone
Fortune: i am highly skilled in the art of psychic self-defense
Fortune: using the awesome power of my mind, i will defeat this curse
Shelley: [flipping switchblade] i got a better way to defeat a curse
Shelley: look dion you just tell me who did this and i'll get em to lift that curse right quick
Fortune: you can't just stab away a curse!
Fortune: you have to use psychic vibrations!
Shelley: stabbing is way easier
Shelley: way easier than
Shelley:
Shelley: whatever the hell you're doing
Shelley: listen dion just tell me who did this
Fortune: it's a mystery, it could be any one of my many many enemies
Shelley: it was Crowley
Fortune: how do you figure?
Shelley: it's always Crowley innit
Fortune: when investigating a psychic attack, it's important to approach the problem methodically
Fortune: first eliminate non-psychic possibilities, like, say, low blood sugar
Fortune: or sick building syndrome
Shelley: [shivving crowley] too late, i stabbed him
Comments
Shirley R
Every day's a good day to stab Crowley. I'm with Clive on the story, though. JFC.
