Bitter Karella
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Midnight Pals: Sorry if i scared you
🕑 Added 2025-01-15 18:40:57 +0000 UTCMae Murray: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i all this the tale of the girl who gets possessed by her sentient abortion
Murray: but don't worry, this abortion just wants to have fun
Murray: abortions just wanna
Murray: they just wanna
Murray: abortions just wanna have fun
Murray: so this story is about odie
Dean Koontz: :)
Murray: who is NOT the dog from Garfield
Koontz: :(
Murray: odie has an abortion but it doesn't really take
Murray: instead it possesses her body
Murray: and makes her dance
Murray: and kill her rapist
Mary Shelley: haha yes⦠YES!
Murray: and also some shitty cops
George Romero: haha yes⦠YES!
Romero: ACAB, baby!
Murray: as a real southern queer, odie goes to the big queer club in Little Rock
Murray: she looks around at all the real southern queers, real salt of the earth folks, not like those fancy pants snob queers you get up in New England
King: hey!
King: now hold on a gosh darn second here!
Murray: as a southern queer, odie thinks about how much pride she has as a southern queer but also as a member of the southern queer community
Murray: as a southern queer, you gotta express your pride
King: gosh mae there's some pretty unbelievable stuff happening in this story!
Murray: you don't believe a woman could be possessed by a sentient space abortion that leads her to kill her rapist?
King: no i mean
King: i didn't know there were queers in the south
Murray:
Murray: you've never been lower than new Hampshire have you
King: whoa i don't go to new Hampshire!
King: i heard there's dragons there
King: but actually i was referring to this bit where armadillos eat a corpse
King: i mean, come on, really?
King: i just don't buy it
King: I've seen armadillos and, goshdarnit, those little guys are just too cute to be corpse eaters
Barker: what about the possum? you don't object to the possum?
King: oh a possum would 100% eat a corpse
Barker: but it's equally cute
King: it most certainly is not
Barker: have you ever even seen a possum clive?
King: awful animals
Koontz: i think all animals are good
Barker: hey that's real nice dean
Murray: what do any of you even know about armadillos?
Murray: you're all a bunch of high falutin' yankees
Murray: as a real southern queer of the real south
Murray: i know armadillos
Murray: i'm real southern pride!
Murray: i eat the cheese dip trail and shit E. Fay Jones's Thorncrown Chapel in Eureka Springs!! My daddy was the deliverance banjo boy and my mama was a big pot of okra!!
Barker: how mushy was that okra?
Murray: SO MUSHY!
Murray: after having completed everything it needed to do, the sentient abortion says "i have to go now. my planet needs me"
Murray: that's right, it was from space the whole time!
Poe: that raises a lot of questions
Murray: we're not gonna talk about that
Murray: anyway, who's up for a real southern treat?
Murray: i brought you all some deep fried chicken innards!
Poe:
King:
Barker:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
King: when you say innards, you mean meat right?
Murray: um well
Murray: it's technically "meat" in that it was part of an animal
Murray: you know those parts that you usually don't eat, on account of them being too disgusting?
Murray: you know, the parts generally considered unfit for human consumption?
Murray: that you might feed to a dog that you don't particularly like?
Poe:
King:
Barker:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers?
Shelley: i hear you got the forbidden meat?
King: mary no!
Shelley: i'm not scared of no meat, i'll give it a-
Shelley: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
Murray: deep fried bladder
Shelley: ewwwww
Shelley: you deep fry it????
Shelley: that's disgusting, that is
Shelley: where i come from
Shelley: you don't deep fry that shit
Shelley: you put it in a pie
Murray: oh i got a pie for you
Murray: real heads know
Comments
Claire Hiria Ahuriri-Dunning
"Shelley: you put it in a pie" *chef's kiss*
Teresa McDonold
This was hilarious all the way through. Everyone was on their game.πππππ
Michele Steinberg
I donβt know if Iβm Dean or Howard, but even when the references go over my head, I still have a good time.
Shirley R
Come on, Mary. Put that shit in another animal's innards & let it ferment.
