The Daily Tism posts
Posts: 160
Files: 20
Autistic vegetable lover just going through a phase
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockAn autistic man who claims to enjoy putting vegetables into his mouth is simply experimenting with his identity and will eventually grow out of it, his loved ones have said.Eddie Albington, 24, has faced ostracisation from his own community for being a rare exa...
The Daily Tism is hiring a freelance part-time social media assistant
The Daily Tism is looking for its latest team member! We are looking for a part-time social media assistant to join our fast-growing, back-chatting autism satire website to support our creative team. As our social media and admin assistant, you will be responsible for: - Creating new Instagram and T...
Yay! Autistic woman finally has excuse not to read your Substack
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockAn autistic woman is reportedly delighted to have a proper excuse not to read your boring Substack newsletter.Miya Wilkes, 34, used to feel compelled by politeness to read your tedious musings on the issues of the day - but now doesn’t have to bother anymore ...
Lol? Autistic woman takes joke too far again
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockAn autistic woman who made the room descend into uncomfortable silence was just trying to one-up her colleague's joke, it has been rumoured.Kelsey Dacey, 24, was reportedly enjoying a witty back-and-forth exchange with a group of colleagues when she got tha...
Small changes to Patreon - RIP the Weekly NT
Hey terrible autistics,A quick note to let you know that from today, we’ll be changing our £5 tier to include a third autism piece, rather than The Weekly NT! That means you can now get even more autism for your subscription, so if you fancy an upgrade, it’s a great time - and you can take adva...
Autistic woman mad as hell and probably going to keep taking it, to be honest
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock An autistic woman has finally had enough of your shit - but let’s face it, is unlikely to do anything about it - sources have claimed.Avery Mann, 35, absolutely plans to give you a piece of her mind, but instead will probably insist that it’s “totally fi...
Monkey's paw defeated by autistic man’s precisely worded wish
Headline by Andrew Hickey, Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockA cursed monkey’s paw attempting to trap would-be wishers with cruel moral lessons has reportedly curled up and died after being thwarted by an autistic man’s many caveats.Anand Trivedi, 38 - who was warned that each wish would co...
Autism satire website admits to putting cameras in your home
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockThe owners of a satirical autism news site have confessed to bugging the living shit out of your home in what the tabloid press is calling “Autergate”.Editors of The Daily Tism, Sara Gibbs, 37, Elsa Williams, 28, and Sarah Amero, 27, admitted to the high-te...
Autistic man needs to point out historical inaccuracies in film or no one else will
Piece by Andrew Hickey, Image ShutterstockAn autistic man “spoiling” a historical film by highlighting every inaccuracy and anachronism has called his interventions “tough but necessary”, in a statement released today.Jack Harrington, 46, was moved to make the statement after seeing the crit...
Unlucky! TV industry has already got an autism show
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockThe television industry already has an autism show, it has been confirmed.In a statement released today in response to autistic writers brazenly attempting to tell stories about their own lives, every single channel responded that sadly they’ve already got on...
Patreon Live, Sunday 22nd June 6pm BST - Autistic Women Oversharing bonus episode recording
We’re taking an ADHD test - and this time you can join us! Come along on Sunday 22nd June at 6pm UK time to watch a recording of a bonus episode of Autistic Women Oversharing, participate in the comments if you feel like it - or sit silently with an eyebrow raised if you don’t!We’ll be finding...
Autistic boyfriend really not tracking your cycle on purpose
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockYour autistic boyfriend genuinely isn’t monitoring your menstrual cycle intentionally, it has been claimed.Lucas Fletcher, 28, who first became aware that you were on your period when you needed him to pop to the pharmacy for some Naproxen, has since accident...
Autistic woman unsure why she desperately wants approval of total jagweed
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockAn autistic woman is unable to explain why she desperately craves validation from the worst person she knows, it has been rumoured.Avery Mann, 25, really, really wants colleague Mac Wheatley, 34, to like her, despite him universally being considered a colossal ...
Autistic woman doesn’t know what’s wrong with her except for all the things that are wrong with her
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockAn autistic woman who keeps asking what’s wrong with her has reportedly forgotten the many, many things that are wrong with her, it has been rumoured.Ellie Mulligan, 36, makes the same enquiry every time she’s too unwell to get out of bed, makes a social fa...
Report: Big light not so big and tough without its lightbulb
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockThe big light is not so big and scary now that you’ve removed the one weapon it had in its arsenal, reports have indicated.The light, if you can even call it that now, has reportedly been gutted of its glassy innards, leaving it a hollow shell of its former s...
Autistic woman who thinks she’s not enough actually a bit much, if anything
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockAn autistic woman who believes she’s not enough is, in fact, rather a lot, it has been rumoured.Siobhan Moorton, 31, who has learned to overcompensate for her perceived shortcomings, has reportedly gone so far in the other direction, she might as well punctua...
Autistic Women Oversharing season 1 episode 4, Norms - bonus clip!
The story Sara can't share in public because she'll get booted out of her family! Enjoy and please let us know if you've ever heard of such a thing (and for the love of GOD don't share this story outside of this group)!
Oh no! Autism diagnosis comes with unwanted promotion to role model
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockYour autism diagnosis comes with a mandatory promotion to role model that you neither want nor are you qualified to fulfil, sources have revealed.Having spent five years on an NHS waiting list, hoping for external validation that might offer some meagre legal p...
Autistic Women Oversharing bonus documentary: Sara's Adventures in Liverpoolland!
A half-hour bonus documentary behind the scenes of Sara's trip to visit Elsa in Liverpoolland! Featuring the world's most hyper-specific housewarming gift, headless Brian Epstein and special guest nerd, Andrew Hickey!
Play date! Neurotypical friend REALLY wants you to meet the only other autistic person they know
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockYour non-autistic friend is frothing with excitement at the prospect of you meeting the one other autistic person she knows, it has been rumoured.Becky Armitage, 33, really thinks you’d get along with Paul Shinter, 58, on account of the two of you sharing a d...
Autistic Women Oversharing episode 3 bonus pic
My milkshake very decidedly did NOT bring all the boys to the yard! Episode 3, on the blazing red flags that should have clued us in to the fact that we were autistic (yet somehow didn’t) is now live wherever you get podcasts: https://linktr.ee/thedailytism
Autistic couple accidentally sets record for world's longest wedding vows
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockAn autistic couple who wrote their own wedding vows have inadvertently set the world record for the longest vows ever exchanged, sources have confirmed.Navya Randhawa, 32, and Miya Wilkes, 34 - who reportedly wanted to make sure their vows were precise, realist...
Life hack! Joking about own faults much easier than fixing them
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock Making self-deprecating jokes about your own toxic behaviours is way less effort than the years of therapy it would take to actually address their root causes, experts have revealed.A recent study revealed that simply demonstrating that you’re aware you’re...
Live virtual podcast recording 18th May, 6pm BST
Terrible Autistics! By now we hope you’ve caught up with our brand-new podcast - Autistic Women Oversharing! If not, here it is - go go go! Our next Patreon Live will be a virtual live recording of our season 1 finale - the topic being “things we thought our autism would explain but are just us...
“I’m tidying” claims autistic woman just moving piles of mess around
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockAn autistic woman having a “spring clean” is actually just moving piles of clutter from one location to another, it has been rumoured.Paige Thomas, 34, really should know what to do when faced with a mess she herself made - but settles for hyperventilating,...
Have you caught up with our podcast?
Terrible Autistics! Our brand-new podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing, came out last week! Our first episode had us baring our souls, sharing our embarrassing sexual awakenings and generally disgracing ourselves! New eps come out every Tuesday - you can catch up with our pilot wherever you get your ...
Oh no! Thing autistic man needs on other side of room
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockAn autistic man has been left “helpless” after the thing he needed happened to be all the way across the room, it has been reported.Ben Espenson, 31, is reportedly parched - but to get a glass of water he’d have to pause his game, put down his Switch, sto...
Autistic woman trying to decide whether to be a pushover and hate herself or assert her needs and hate herself
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockAn autistic woman is reportedly unable to choose between letting people walk all over her, resulting in self-loathing, or being so assertive that everyone gets mad at her, resulting in self-loathing.According to sources, Paige Thomas, 37, has tried a diplomati...
Autistic Women Oversharing launch and bonus clip!
Hey fellow terrible autistics! As you may have heard (from us shouting about it) our new podcast, Autistic Women Oversharing launches first thing tomorrow (Tuesday 29th April)! Make sure you’re the first to hear it by searching and subscribing on your favourite podcast app and in the meantime, her...
Autistic woman tried to fucking warn you
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image ShutterstockAn autistic woman tried, for many years, to warn you about the impending “argh” of every-fucking-thing, it has been confirmed.Navya Randhawa, 38, reportedly saw the writing on the wall back in 2015 and attempted to alert everyone she encountered that fascis...
