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Report: Big light not so big and tough without its lightbulb
🕑 Added 2025-05-27 10:00:04 +0000 UTC
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
The big light is not so big and scary now that you’ve removed the one weapon it had in its arsenal, reports have indicated.
The light, if you can even call it that now, has reportedly been gutted of its glassy innards, leaving it a hollow shell of its former self.
You said: “Try giving me a migraine now, bitch! Yeah, didn’t think so!”
“You had it coming, lording it over me day after day,” you continued. “Well Mr Big Light, I’ve outsmarted you. I’ve made sure you never hurt another soul.”
You could not be reached for further comment, as you were assisting a family member who had walked straight into the coffee table in the dark - but sources reported hearing you sitting in the gloom, cackling maniacally.
