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Oh no! Thing autistic man needs on other side of room
🕑 Added 2025-05-02 10:00:02 +0000 UTC
Piece by Sara Gibbs, Image Shutterstock
An autistic man has been left “helpless” after the thing he needed happened to be all the way across the room, it has been reported.
Ben Espenson, 31, is reportedly parched - but to get a glass of water he’d have to pause his game, put down his Switch, stop the podcast playing on his phone, heave himself off the comfortable sofa and embark upon a nine-second walk to the kitchen, where he would then need to find a clean glass, clear the dishes enough to fit a glass under a tap, turn on said tap and fill it.
Espenson said: “That’s simply never happening.”
“My options are: convincing a Deliveroo driver to break into my house and bring me a glass of water, wringing small drops of water out of the sofa cushions, like a cactus in the desert or mastering telekinesis.”
“HNGGGFFFFFF,” continued Espenson, staring intently at the glass from the other side of the room, like Matilda trying to convince Miss Honey that she’s magical.
Espenson was last seen several hours later Googling “how long can you survive without water.”
