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Another scene that most of you would probably miss
🕑 Added 2021-12-08 14:05:09 +0000 UTCAnother scene that most of you would probably miss
Breaking news! Pauline is changing back to a boy in this chapter!
!!!
At least, for a while. ;) It's not really a spoiler, she was temporarily changing back twice during the story. And as a boy, she can have a little chat with Justin, which ends with... Well, let's say, some little addition to Justin's arc. I know that Justin isn't the most popular character in the cast, but still, he's important for the plot. So, a little scene.
***
Justin was overwhelmed by the stress. His face was calm as always, but you knew well the expression of his eye. You could compare them to the eyes of the animal who got into the trap. The difference was so drastic like the boy next to you was a completely different person than he was during the last month.
Ironic, wasn't it?
"You can tell me," you said. "I see that's something that bothers you."
He shrugged. His resigned smile scared you a little. It was so bitter that you were worried that he could do something to himself.
"Yeah, I know I can," he answered quietly. Then he chuckled and shook his head. "That's odd, Paul. You're my best friend. We were discussing... everything. Crazy stuff. Scary stuff. Absurd stuff. But... I've never spoken with you about the girls. And I keep wondering... Why is that? Isn't it a normal topic for the normal guys?"
He said the "normal" with deep sarcasm. Yeah, of course. Justin didn't consider himself normal. He was alien. Somebody who couldn't adapt.
"You've never seemed to be interested in girls, Justin," you said.
His reaction surprised you. He laughed. You never heard such laugh and you didn't want to hear that again. You were more surprised when you saw the tears in his eyes.
"Well said, my friend," he said. "Yeah, I wasn't. I still think I am not... sometimes."
"What about Claudia?" you asked. And your female self, you would gladly add, but Justin obviously didn't know Pauline right now.
He winced.
"Yeah, what about her?" he asked rhetorically. "Do you believe that I... when I was with her... close... when we were kissing, and even more... That was a date, you see. And I felt so lonely in her company. And I was thinking then... You'll laugh probably, sure, go ahead... That I would have more fun if I was in church."
Claudia was so a boring person that you weren't surprised.
He sighed.
"I'm a terrible person, Paul," Justin said. "I was so ready to enter the order. It was so natural way to me. Everything around was confirming that it would be a good decision. I... I could be this adult in the lives of many children who like me desperately need support and warmth. My... My own experiences would have sense then. It could be a way to God... I could reforge my pain into something beautiful."
He sobbed.
"And yet I fell into the shoulders of the first girl who showed some interest in me," he said. " But I barely could handle her company. She was delicate, but... But I felt so broken next to her. Some disgusting gargoyle. The three-legged, blind puppy somebody hugs because it's so miserable... And I hated that. I hated that."
His expression was so full of self-hatred that you barely recognized his face.
"I couldn't be with her. There's no woman for me, actually. What woman I could convict for a life with such... creature? And what if I start to drink? What if I become somebody like my father?"
"You aren't your father," you said quietly. He probably didn't hear you. He looked desperate.
"You know what's funny, Paul?" he asked. "That it's really shitty motivation for a priest. I'm too broken for marriage and too broken for a priesthood. There's... no place for me. I'm just a pile of rubbish to throw out."
"That's not true. You're not..." you said then stopped. Shit. You were changing back! (back?) Wait a minute, I'll be right back!"
You ran into the cabin, then you went to the bathroom. In the opposite of your first transformation, that was quick - just like Carl's. But this time you weren't shocked. You were observing your developing breasts and the rapidly growing hair with some odd calmness. To be specific, Justin's behavior worried you more than your gender change. Even when your penis finished his guest performance, you kept thinking about him.
Of course, when you left the bathroom as Pauline, he was calm. He didn't remember the conversation. You shivered. That would feel the telepaths? Was it a burden of knowing more?
Luckily, the rest of the day was quite...
...normal.
