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Thy Rusted Knight

🕑 Added 2024-07-01 06:01:29 +0000 UTC
Thy Rusted Knight

Comments

Robert Walker

You saw the speech I had Jaune do, that was from a Superman Vs. The Elite Movie. That lit a fire in all those there. Seeing hope in adventures, that they are not just these selfish people.

Robert Walker

Oh OK I gotcha thank you. All I got to do now is, figure out how I want to write everything

Biggs Ringor

It actually makes it more bloated if you don't break it down.. It's easier to read 1000 word chapter if its broken down that it is to read 500 words thats compressed into 2 or 3 paragraphs.

Robert Walker

But, I may do start doing that more, I just need to figure out when, and where, to space it out more, learning curve of course

Robert Walker

I think people have been saying that a lot about breaking down the paragraph. I just honestly felt that if I did that with a lot of paragraphs it would have felt bloaded, does that make sense to you?

Biggs Ringor

It's essentially the same but it is easier to read and you could add flavor sentences or paragraphs to set the tone more

Biggs Ringor

The concept is great! I'm actually griping more about the paragraphs. I think you could break them down more like this one: - Well no time like the present right? I would like to do some good in this world, and I feel that being an adventurer would help." Jaune said, giving his reason. That cause Bell to pause. This guy wants to make a world a better place, like a hero, like him. Eina gave a neutral look. ----- You could turn it into this: Well no time like the present right? I would like to do some good in this world, and I feel that being an adventurer would help." Jaune said, giving his reason. That cause Bell to pause. This guy wants to make a world a better place, like a hero, like him. Eina gave them a neutral look however.

Robert Walker

How do you like the story so far, I am not as creative as others so I hope this is good

Biggs Ringor

Yup, got it!

Robert Walker

Did you get the link ok

Robert Walker

https://m.fanfiction.net/s/14364533/1/Is-it-wrong-to-be-a-knight-and-find-girls-in-a-dungeon

Robert Walker

Hold on, it's also the second story I have made

Biggs Ringor

Drop the link here dude. I'd be happy to read it

Robert Walker

I did create a story though, with Jaune in Danmachi, he died killing Cinder

Biggs Ringor

Goddamn that's an amazing idea.

Robert Walker

Nope, imagine him in Danmachi, in the Hestia Familia.

Biggs Ringor

This is the type of guy you never want to meet in a dark alley.

Robert Walker

I am armored, and filled with rage.


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