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Chapter Four! Let's Go!
🕑 Added 2023-08-24 18:56:14 +0000 UTCGrant applications are ready-ish. My side project is simmering. I've started reaching out to Canadian book printers for quotes, in case I decide to crowdfund an edition of PDAP. Chapter Three is all done and is going online for civilians. And Chapter Four thumbnails are DONE!
IT'S TIME TO DRAW THE THING!
[ Images in the carousel above are repeated below. ]
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At the same time I thumbed out Chapter Three, I thumbed out Chapter Four. I thought, if I do the two chapters back-to-back, they'll be more harmonious AND Chapter Four will get to simmer while I work on Chapter Three.
Well, I did that. It simmered. And I read the whole rest of the book in one sitting to gain +1 to Insight. When I looked at the Chapter Four thumbs again, I decided I needed to redo them.
Good news: it went a lot faster the second time. Double-good news: the chapter is better now.
Below are some of the changes between draft one and draft two of the thumbs. The rest of this post is spoilery! Act accordingly!
[ ^ I ended up with lots of post-it notes to incorporate. ]
Change One: originally, I started out with Alexandra immediately scared of the glowing mist-pirates that have shown up in the harbour. Mood-wise, that seemed harmonious with how glum she was about her mother. But in Chapter One, she was eager to meet a pirate, and I want to maintain that element of her character. So now she's cautiously wary, but not immediately frightened. This also means that when she sees Captain Lear die, "fighting" with the pirates, and the reality of the situation hits home, Alexandra's fright has a more direct cause-effect relationship.
Change Two: The pirates bring a big ol' chest of gold with them. They plan to offer this to the town's chieftain as a good-faith gesture and get their relationship started on the right foot. The chest is an element I am not sure about, but my instinct tells me I should include.
There are good reasons to cut the chest of gold. The pirates already make a good-faith gesture to Vignelli - they let a wagonload of wine through to him. Part of the function of the chest is to show that Vignelli cares about the cash more than his people, but this might be gilding the lily - we have already demonstrated clearly how awful Vignelli is. And the chest is removed almost as soon as it appears.
On the other hand, I like the element of suspense it introduces when we see the chest on page 2 of the chapter. What's in that chest? Why are the pirates bringing something to the town? That's not what pirates do.
I also like that it tells us the pirates arrived on the island with a goal in mind. And I like how it absolutely, positively underscores Vignelli's awfulness, in a rule-of-threes sort of way. And when the pirates take it away, I like how that functions as a clear visual cue to tell us that whatever the pirates originally intended, things have changed. So I think it's going to stay, and only time will tell whether this makes the chapter a cluttered mess or, you know, the opposite of that.
Change Three: cut a bunch of panels that weren't really doing anything. Occasionally this is the product of, "it seemed like a good idea at the time," but just as often it's, "ahh I need something to get between the last panel and the next," panels I don't notice at the time, but which I hate when I find them.
Change Four: added a jaguar.
Change Five: if you remember the two-page fight sequence for which I made a process video many many many months ago, I'm spreading that sequence over another page and a half. Previously, I was putting five panels on one page, guided by the belief that fight scenes in comics shouldn't take up so much real estate.
Looking at it a second time, that felt too crowded. I spaced it out at three panels per page; that looked bad and dumb. So four panels per page it is!
Change Six: Nikos does something drastic! Sophia's criticism must have got to him, or maybe he's just decided enough is enough.
All the other changes are small ones. Little improvements like "I'd rather see this other character at this moment," or making two panels into one everywhere that makes sense.
There's a lot going on in this chapter, and I'm worried that it'll be a muddle. The thing that gives me confidence is that a lot of it takes place on the bridge and at the big gates, and even if the straightforward geography of the setting wasn't enough to help it read, we're going to see green light from one side and red light from the other. There's a lot of complex blocking and choreography going on, but I don't know what I could possibly do to make it easier to read.
I hope you're ready to meet some pirates. :)
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Over the next few weeks, expect… pencils! I'll be pencilling the chapter.
That's it.
I am, quite frankly, looking forward to focusing exclusively on the drawings. I hope you're as excited to see them. As has been previously established, it's hard to take photos of the blue-line drawings, but I'll see what I can do to improve that.
The days are getting shorter and cooler, I've got a heap of admin behind me, it's time to get reacquainted with the drawing board. [ Happy sigh. ]
As ever,
I remain,
a jaguar,
TC
