Daniel Greene
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Prologue For Book Two - Unedited
🕑 Added 2021-04-23 22:04:51 +0000 UTCSo here is the unedited prologue for book 2. There will be some errors in there, please be forgiving, but I wanted to give you all something pretty cool for being such great supporters.
This is DARKER than the opening to book 1. Please keep that in mind before reading. A lot of horrid stuff is about to be touched on here.
And of course, spoilers for book 2.
Prologue
Something tickled Khlid’s left wrist. It was an odd sensation. A deeper itch than she had ever felt. Groggy and wanting to remain asleep, Khlid tried to scratch. Her right arm was halted by restraints. Khlid recognized the sensation of leather straps tight around her bicep and forearm.Her mind twisted at the realization.
Was something wrong? Was she in the hospital? A buzzing electric light above made opening her eyes a painful process.
Hospitals don’t have electric lights yet. What—
Memories flashed through her like a physical force. Gunfire. A figure in black. The horrid sound of Sam being torn apart. Something that had once been Chapman standing over her. Running terrified in the rain. Captain Williams giving his life to protect her.
Sam. Sam I am so sorry.
The thought stabbed into Khlid’s chest. Tears welled as a sob shook her.
The emotion was too much. Khlid let out a wail, but the sound was muffled. Her lips refused to part as a sharp sting pulsed through her mouth. She tried to raise a hand to feel what was wrong, but again was met with leather restraints.
Khlid looked down. She lay naked on a steel table. Her clothing had been taken from her. And her left hand was missing completely. Where her right foot should have mirrored her left was empty space. There was no pain, just an intense itch burrowing into where her appendages had been.
Feeling the sensation renew, Khlid focused on the stump where her hand should be. What looked like black slugs danced in a thick mass, burrowing into— no from her flesh. She watched in horror as a tiny maw ate its way into the light. The slug wretched itself from her body and plopped onto the metal surface. The spawn danced spastically in the light, trying to inch its way into her shadow.
She crushed it reflexively, smashing not only the creature on the table, but several more still trying to free themselves from her. The intensity of the itch in her arm grew. Khlid smashed her arm down again and again.
Fear polluted her mind. A whimper tried to escape her sealed mouth. Vile liquid mixed with her blood splash from the table onto her face as she continued trying to rid herself of the monstrosities.
She felt the worms in her entire body now. Not just in her arm. Her legs, chest, groin, crawled; even behind her eyes.
Panic drove away the last remnants of drowsiness. Trying to scream, the sensation in her lips finally landed home. Her mouth was sewn shut. The taste of fresh blood played on her tongue.
Khlid pounded her body into the table. She felt the slugs all over her. A tickling inside of her ear nearly drove her mad. As fear consumed rationality, Khlid tried to scream once again only for pain to tear through her mutilated mouth.
The squeal of a door opening barely registered to her ears.
“Hush.” The voice came closer. “Hush my dear.”
Everything froze. That voice cut into Khlid’s soul. It was the voice of the monster. The hunter who killed Sam. She would never be able to forget that voice.
Khlid tried regain her composure. Battling panic, Khlid picked her head up and looked into the darkness.
“Rabbit.” A woman emerged from the shadows.. Gray eyes set in a young angular face. Midnight black hair done up in a braid covering pale skin. “You have no reason to panic at all.”
Khlid thrashed at the woman. Kicking against the restraints with more purpose, fury filled her heart.
I will kill you! You will die by my hand! The thought was a promise to herself.
“Your response to the Drip has been beautiful my love.” The Anointed walked to the table, ignoring Khlid’s attempts at violence. Her voice still sank into Khlid’s ear like a seducing knife. “You’re healing so remarkably well.”
Khlid lifted herself as far off the table as she possibly could and spat blood through the stitching in her mouth. Most of it dribbled pathetically onto her chin, but it was enough.
The Anointed’s face twisted in revulsion at the sight, but a grin quickly slid back into place. “You do have a lot of fight in you, Inspector Whitter. I will give you that.”
A sluggishness returned to Khlid. She wasn’t sure if it was blood loss or something worse, but her body was giving.
The cry of a heavy door filled the room once again.
“Ah yes. I brought you a present.”
Exhaustion blanketed Khlid. Her vision began to blur. Unconsciousness tried to drag her mind under once again.
A hand roughly grabbed Khlid’s chin. The Anointed made her meet her eyes. “Not yet Rabbit. I have something to show you.”
I will kill you.
The thought was fleeting. Her mind’s last attempts at holding onto the anger burning within her.
The sound of a chest being opened was faint.
“You will want to say your goodbyes I believe. You certainly were rushed last night.”
The rough hand turned Khlid’s head followed quickly by a slap. Her eyes finally focused on Samuel’s severed head hanging from the Chosen’s grip.
Khlid broke through the stitches as she screamed.
Comments
Emma Ailie
I just finished book one, I loved it and this. Small thing 'The horrid sound of Sam being torn apart.' This line suggests to me that Sam was dismembered which wouldn't be consistant with the first book. Also making it clear that his body was intact the last time Khlid saw it would make the end reveal an even bigger hit.
Zakk Wylde played with Ozzy on his solo stuff. He probably wrote most, if not all, of the music. A (less ridiculous) song of his solo stuff is Stillborn. You know who is mega talented and doesn't drag their words out 20 syllables? Slugdge - Putrid Fairytale
Lobsterbush
Great stuff Daniel. Blown away by your writing in the first book. So grim and horrific at times! What a wild and amazing ride
Wow
looking forward to the rest of it
Dang man that was good and yeah pretty intense! I cringed a few times imagining the scene of her under going all that! Keep up the good work and can't wait to see how the next novela unfolds after this!
Harry Paulin
Excellent stuff again Daniel! The imagery actually had me feeling queazy. The terror and despair was palpable. This a real talent you have for feeling the tension and stakes of a scene. BoP and the appearance of the Anointed, huge twist. Amazing! I can’t wait to see where you take it. I would say that you suggest to Felix, a red through black colour gradient for this ones cover. I can see why some of your Alpha readers might have been suggesting you tone it down, but didn’t mind it. It feels weird anyone trying to give you advice, since most of us go to you for our advice, but I would say one thing. I’m sure your already on top of it, but, I would be careful of using such strong imagery too easily and too often. Not for myself, but some may find it difficult and less accessible if you go too far over the edge into “horror fantasy”. Whilst I loved it, my wife found it a bit hard, I think. While it’s still totally your call and your vision, I would caution against making it too much about the gore and less about the setting and characters, which for me is the best part. The amount I wanna know about this whole world is incredible for a first novel. Brando has stirred me less in regard to world building at times than you have here mate. Anyway, nough said. Love it and can’t wait for more. Keep it up bud!
Rick Fox
That could be it but if so, that probably needs some clarification I think. The image that springs to mind with the description given to me is someone strapped down so they can’t move at all, especially given the kind of treatment she seems to be getting.
I thought it was a solid opening, with a good amount of hook to make me want to read further. I would humbly suggest cutting back on one of the physical injuries Khlid sustains. Like she's missing a hand, a foot, has slugs growing out of her, that's more than enough to work with, pain-wise. Having her mouth sewn shut is a strong image but a bit over the top (unless each injury has a specific reason for it.) The dialogue felt a bit campy, but it's a work in progress so no worries. Content wise, it's interesting to place the protag in such immediate and severe danger. I also liked Khlid's emotions conveyed in the prose. If as you say, this second book is darker, you've definitely set us up for it. I think you're off to a strong start
I would assume it depends on the amount of give the restraints have. I figured she could move it up and down just enough to splatter a couple slugs, but not say for example, reach across her body.
Rick Fox
Well I was about as wrong about Khlid being super dead at the end of the last book as you could possible be. Two questions come to mind though. I thought she’d broken her spine so shouldn’t she have some reaction to being able to feel things? And also if she’s restrained how can she squish the slugs with her arm?
puhtahtoe
Well I got to the part about the slugs and I'm gonna have to leave it there for now. I get the feeling I should not be reading this when I'm just about to have dinner.
