TheFanficGOD
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MHA169- Ryuu Gets Some Pussy
🕑 Added 2025-07-10 16:48:25 +0000 UTCMirko stretched, rolling her shoulders. "Still, surprised no one tried to lock you down."
I scoffed. "Oh, some have tried. Some are still trying."
She raised a brow. "And?"
"And I am still here."
Mirko huffed. "Tch. As long as you ain’t crying about it later, I don’t care."
I turned to her. "And you? Bunnies fuck a lot, right?"
She slapped me so hard my ancestors filed a noise complaint. Feral bitch.
She rolled her shoulders, unfazed. "I do not do casual. Had a few dates, a few good fucks, but that is it."
I snorted. "So, commitment issues?"
She shot me a look. "More like no patience for bullshit."
Fair. I barely had time for sleep, let alone relationships. Proes had it worse. Hell, I barely had time to eat properly unless I forced myself to cook. Trying to keep something serious going in this job was asking for trouble.
"Ever had someone try to lock you down?" I asked.
She huffed. "Yeah. Didn't work out."
"Why?"
"Because they wanted a girlyfriend," she said. "Not Mirko."
I clicked my tongue. "Ah. One of those."
She nodded. "Dudes think they can handle dating a pro hero until they actually have to deal with it. They want the title, not the reality. Not my problem."
Made sense. Too many people wanted the idea of someone, not the actual person. A lot of the hero couples that did last either had one partner in the business too or someone who was already used to the lifestyle. Normal people couldn’t keep up.
"So," I said, stretching my arms behind my head. "If you ever feel lonely, I can warm your bed."
Mirko’s fist came fast. I barely leaned back in time, her knuckles grazing my jaw.
"Strictly friendly," I added, grinning as I raised my hands. "Just holding each other to sleep."
"You sleep naked, perv."
"Body warmth optimization, Mirko. Learn thermodynamics," I shot back.
She rolled her eyes. "You keep talking like that, you are gonna catch a real beating."
"Promises, promises."
She didn't bother replying, just kept walking. I caught up, hands shoved in my pockets. The city was settling into evening, the streets still busy, but the cold was creeping in. The sky was bruising with twilight, lights flickering on across buildings. The usual end-of-day rush filled the sidewalks, people moving in waves, but nothing that needed our attention.
"Bet you snore," I said after a beat.
Mirko snorted. "Bet you cry."
I grinned. "You wanna find out?"
She smacked the back of my head. "You are a real pain in the ass, you know that?"
"That is why you love me."
"Love is a strong word."
"Affectionately tolerate?"
She side-eyed me. "You are pushing it."
I chuckled, dodging another swat as we kept moving. A couple of people recognized us as we passed, mostly calling out to Mirko. Some just stared, trying to place me. Others whispered, probably debating if I was the same guy from that viral Gentle takedown. One lady straight-up pointed.
"Hey, you are that crazy kid!"
"Which one?" I called back.
"The one who beat the shit out of that Youtuber! You called the reporter bitch on Camera."
"That doesn’t narrow it down!"
Mirko barked out a laugh, shaking her head. The lady just gave me a thumbs-up before heading into a store.
“You ever think about how people see you?” Mirko asked suddenly.
I shrugged. “As a menace?”
“Not wrong,” she said, smirking. “But they talk about you like you are some kind of urban legend. A kid with a bat and no filter.”
“And you are a bunny with anger issues. What is your point?”
She huffed. “Point is, we are both the type of heroes parents warn their kids about. That doesn’t bother you?”
I shoved my hands in my pockets. “Better than them calling me useless.”
Mirko barked out a laugh. “Fair. At least you own your reputation.”
“Damn right I do.” I then shrugged, “And if kids grow up scared of me, maybe they will grow up smarter too.”
“Damn. That is dark.”
”You?” I asked, side-eying her.
“Hell yeah. I love watching people shit themselves when they realize I am the one patrolling their block.
She then stretched. "So what is the plan? Keep patrolling or go annoy Ryukyu?"
I checked my phone. Nothing urgent. "Eh, let’s give it another hour. Something is bound to happen."
She grinned. "Now you are talking."
We cut through a side street, heading toward a busier district. A group of kids ran past, bundled up against the cold, their laughter trailing behind them. A couple leaned against a storefront, heads close, lost in whatever conversation they were having. Across the street, a guy was trying to get a cat out of a tree with a broom, and from the looks of it, he was losing.
"How much you wanna bet that idiot falls?" I muttered.
Mirko glanced over. "Not taking that bet. He is already leaning too far."
The guy wobbled, his broom missing by a mile. The cat, unimpressed, flicked its tail.
I shook my head. "Natural selection."
Mirko sighed, rubbing the bridge of her nose. "No, idiot, hero work. Go take the cat down," she said, nodding at the tree. Then she gestured at the guy, who was still balancing on his toes like a dumbass. "And get him too before he breaks his neck."
I muttered under my breath but walked over to the tree anyway. The guy was still poking at the cat, who had zero interest in his struggle. I stopped a few steps away, watching him teeter dangerously close to falling.
"You got a plan, or is this a trial-and-error situation?" I asked.
He flinched, nearly losing his footing. "Ah! No, no, I got this!"
The cat flicked its tail, unimpressed.
I tilted my head. "Right. And when you fall, do you want me to catch you, or should I let gravity do its thing?"
The guy glanced down like he had just now realized how high up he was. His grip on the branch tightened. "Uh… catching would be nice?"
I sighed. "Fine. Step back."
He hesitated. "But the cat…"
"Step. Back," I said, already crouching.
The guy hesitated. "I swear, I almost got it…"
I jumped, landing lightly on a branch before climbing higher. The cat flicked its tail, ears flattening as I reached the top. It hissed when I grabbed it by the scruff. "Yeah, yeah, get it out of your system," I muttered, holding it up. “If you scratch me, you are going straight into a stewpot.”
The guy looked up, relief and nerves all over his face. "Damn, you got it. Thanks, man."
I glanced at the cat. Small, fluffy, definitely not a stray. "This thing expensive?"
He nodded quickly. "Yeah, it is a rare breed, Kurilian Bobtail. My wife would have murdered me if I lost it."
I hummed, adjusting my grip as I dropped back down. The guy caught the cat, cradling it like it was a damn newborn. "Appreciate it. Seriously."
I waved him off. "You got kittens?"
His eyes lit up. "Oh, actually, yeah! One left. I was looking for a good home."
I smirked. "I will take it."
He beamed. "Oh my god, really? That is perfect! You got another cat?"
"Nah, little sister." I nodded. “She’s been asking for a pet. Figure a kitten is safer than letting her ‘rescue’ another raccoon from the park.”
He laughed awkwardly but seemed relieved. “You got it. She will love this one. She is a spitfire… climbs curtains like she is in a triathlon.”
“Sounds perfect,” I said, smirking faintly.
Mirko crossed her arms, watching the exchange. "Great. Another animal for you to be responsible for."
I ignored her. "Where do I pick it up?"
The guy fished out his phone. "I live a few blocks down. I can bring it by later if you want?"
I nodded, rattling off a time. He left, still holding the cat close like it was his firstborn child.
As the guy wandered off, still cradling the cat like a holy relic, Mirko side-eyed me.. "Softie."
"Shut up."
"Hey, it is cute. You are cute."
I turned, already walking. "I am ignoring you."
She laughed, falling into step beside me. The patrol went on as usual… some petty bullshit, a couple of drunk idiots, nothing worth stopping for.
We made it back to the agency with enough time to kill before dinner. Ryukyu had apparently decided to treat us somewhere fancy, which meant Nejire was already way too excited about it.
Mirko stretched her arms behind her head as we walked in. “Fancy place, huh? You picking up the bill, boss?”
Ryukyu gave her a look. “You are higher in Hero Chart. You earn more than me.”
Mirko smirked. “Not my fault I am bad with money.”
Nejire grinned, practically bouncing next to me. “Ooooh, do you think they will have wagyu? Or, wait… those tiny desserts that look too fancy to eat?”
Tsuyu blinked. “You mean the ones that cost too much for three bites?”
Nejire gasped. “Yes! I love those!”
Uraraka sighed. “And here I was hoping for something normal.”
Mirko leaned toward her. “What, you want us to go to a diner instead?”
“I wouldn’t complain,” she muttered.
I shrugged. “Diners are great. Big portions, no bullshit.”
Nejire huffed. “But we never do fancy!”
“Maybe there is a reason for that.”
She grabbed my arm. “Nope. We are doing this. You are dressing nice and everything.”
"Is there a penalty if I wear sweats?”
She immediately smacked my arm. “You are the worst.”
Tsuyu tilted her head. “We need to change, right?”
Ryukyu nodded. “Yeah. We leave in an hour.”
I pocketed my phone. “Guess I will go put on my best hobo chic.”
“I will tell Eri you threw her popsicle away that one time.”
“Then I will tell her you stole her juice box last week.”
“…You are evil.” Nejire poked my cheek. “If you don’t wear a suit, I am stealing Eri’s hoverboard.”
I raised a brow. “Go ahead. She will destroy you.”
Nejire gasped, clutching her chest. “Betrayal.”
“Actions have consequences.”
Uraraka was already heading toward the rooms. “I don’t have anything fancy, but I guess I will figure it out.”
Mirko cracked her neck. “I am just throwing on a jacket. If they got a problem with it, they can fight me.”
Ryukyu sighed. “That is not how dress codes work.”
Mirko shrugged. “Sucks for them.”
Nejire turned back to me. “So? Suit or no?”
I sighed, rubbing my temple. “Fine. I will wear a suit. But if any of you clowns start drama, I am going full caveman and showing up shirtless.”
“Oh noooo, Ryuu please don’t tease me like that~” Nejire beamed.
“You would enjoy it too much. Pervert.” I rolled my eyes, adding, “Give me half an hour. I am making dresses for all of you.
Nejire and Tsuyu actually cheered, while Uraraka pumped her fist.
“Damn bitches, normal shit. Not with abilities. I do not have time or materials,” I added before they could get ahead of themselves.
That dimmed their spirits a bit, but they still looked excited. Tsuyu gave me a thumbs-up, already expecting a decent result. Nejire grabbed my wrist, grinning. “Make mine cute.”
“You are getting whatever I feel like making.”
Comments
TheFanficGOD
Remember the chapter where Ryuu mistakenly said “pussy” in front of Eri? When Eri asked, “What is a pussy?” Ryuu said, “It’s a cat.” Ending with Eri asking for a cat. So in this chapter, when Ryuu actually gets some cats for Eri, the title is a wordplay. It is a throwback to that earlier joke, and it’s also a double entendre because in English “pussy” can mean both a cat and something sexual.
hector lyng
I think the title is wrong, I'm not good at English but when I translated it and what I read didn't make any sense, the chapter is good but the title needs to be improved.
TheFanficGOD
Yeah, wait be hard. Though, I am not limiting. Patreon is now 30 chapters ahead of free publish rate. In both HP and MHA.
Tungst3n
The downside of catching up, the inevitable waiting game. Thanks for the chapter, have a good one. Catch y'all next time.
