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Turning Chapter 1126
🕑 Added 2024-10-02 11:45:51 +0000 UTCChapter 1126
The final tension that had been held to suppress excessive impulses throughout the heat gently dissolved and melted away at those words. With a sense of satisfaction that he had successfully protected Kishiar, Yuder comfortably rested his head against the man's chest.
He decided not to say things like "I'm glad" or "Are you alright?" Such words seemed no longer necessary for Kishiar. Instead, Yuder said what he had wanted to tell him all along.
"So did I. Although you were the one in heat, while taking care of you and being with you... I truly enjoyed it the whole time."
Those words meant, in other words, not to apologize if he thought he had troubled Yuder.
The man who seemed to understand the hidden meaning softened his eyebrows and smiled.
"...I remember feeling that you really found me adorable the whole time. I felt like a little flower petal loved by God. I was truly happy. To the point where I felt I could do anything."
Memories from heat remain somewhat strange, being aware that it was oneself yet not one's usual self. It seemed Kishiar wasn't much different in that regard.
"You're not as small as a flower petal, but I did realize for the first time that you could be so adorable."
"Oh my. I always wanted to be adorable to you... I guess I'll have to try harder."
"You don't need to try particularly hard. After all, you'll continue to be the only one I feel that way about."
It wasn't that an unknown side had appeared anew during heat, but rather that it had always existed inside Kishiar from before until now. It was because it was Kishiar that Yuder thought the large man clinging to him was cute; imagine if someone else had done the same actions. Would he really have tolerated it gently?
'Absolutely not.'
Just as he had done continuously during the days without speech when Yuder spread his arms and allowed it, the man who had been staring with an entranced gaze slowly lowered his eyes.
"Is that so... The only one. I'm the only one to you."
Instead of answering, Yuder caressed the cheek of the man who somehow looked relieved and asked.
"How is your physical condition now? How much of your strength do you feel has returned?"
"My condition is very comfortable and good compared to before the heat. As for strength... I think I could use it, but it probably wouldn't be comfortable."
"Are you not hungry?"
"I'm not sure yet. I could eat if told to, but..."
That meant he hadn't completely escaped the influence of heat yet. The warmth of his cheek when touched also still seemed a little higher than his usual body temperature.
"It took me a little more time to completely escape heat even after my reason returned too. It seems you'll need time for your strength to fully return, so it would be better not to overexert yourself and rest until then."
"Alright."
Kishiar nodded readily.
"But you should eat. You don't have to stay here because of me, so if you're hungry, go down right away to eat and come back. You probably barely ate the whole time you were here, are you alright?"
"I'm fine for now too. I ate almost all the food Sir Zuckerman gave..."
As they talked about that part, the topic naturally turned to the new information heard from Nathan Zuckerman.
"Ah. Come to think of it, Sir Zuckerman said that His Majesty the Emperor sent people to help with work in Peletta."
"His Majesty sent people?"
"Yes. Since he sent them without us requesting, it seems he probably grasped the situation with his ability."
After issuing the order to rest without contacting at all, Yuder hadn't seen Kishiar take out any objects imbued with the Emperor's ability. However, if it was the Emperor and Kishiar, they would surely have set up devices to grasp Peletta's situation in case of emergencies.
'He would naturally have checked with such a big event as anomalous cracks occurring nationwide.'
"They might have arrived by now. Additionally, there was news that Crown Prince Katchian might stand trial... but I think that's not such important news and can be checked later when we return."
"Quite interesting things happened while I was here."
As talk of the outside came up, Kishiar's complexion, still with remaining heat, brightened considerably. For his sake, Yuder squeezed out as much as he could of the stories he had experienced and heard. While calmly telling how reliably Nathan Zuckerman had prepared supplies in advance, and what the castle's situation was just before Kishiar entered his heat, the man didn't take his eyes off Yuder's face for a moment.
"-That was the first time I realized attendant Enk had such a personality. As I talked with her, my return here was delayed... I think I might have surprised her a bit at the end."
"Ah. Was that when I 'started'?"
"Yes."
Now might be alright to ask about the reason for Kishiar's incomprehensible words just before the heat started in earnest. Yuder hesitated for a moment before opening his mouth.
"...How much do you remember of the situation just before your heat started in earnest?"
"Well... I clearly wasn't in my right mind, as much as the day I manifested as an awakener."
Kishiar answered with a bitter smile.
"At the time, I thought I was fine, but I was actually very anxious. I closed my eyes briefly while sitting to try to calm that... and had a terrible nightmare."
"..."
"A dream so terrible that when I woke up, I couldn't recognize reality for a moment and was greatly agitated by the fact that you weren't there."
Yuder recalled Kishiar from that day, who had locked the door and rejected him. Thinking about it now, the tremendous scent he emitted then was blatantly searching for Yuder.
"But I thought I had to be alone... because if you came into contact with me in that state, you might be in danger. I tried to forcibly hold onto my reason, but because of that, I think I couldn't think properly. Looking back now, I acted like such a fool."
He understood why he had compared it to being as out of his mind as the day he awakened. Back then too, he was the person who climbed the tower to die alone in the castle in pain to protect his vassals.
As soon as he judged his condition was abnormal, he thought he should lock the door and block others' approach, yet on the other hand, he desperately searched for Yuder while emitting an enormous scent enough to weigh down the entire castle. Yuder pressed his head against Kishiar's chest, feeling as if those words pierced his heart.
"Why are you calling yourself a fool again? I think I told you not to do that."
"Because I really was foolish."
Kishiar embraced Yuder, pulling him close, and rested his head against his.
"Even knowing how strong you are, I couldn't trust myself at all and tried to run away. There was no need for that."
"That seems right."
A smile formed on Kishiar's lips. He inhaled Yuder's scent deeply, which was spread in the air, with a bitter yet sweet smile. His fingers gently tightened around Yuder's body.
Yuder suddenly realized instinctively that he was about to say something important next.
"I want to tell you now what I couldn't tell you before."
"..."
"About the memory of what I didn't experience but did, what didn't happen to me but did happen to me, on that day when we fell asleep together in the office."
Kishiar's voice stretched out slowly.
"Watching from afar and actually being there were so different. It was a very brief moment, but I could clearly feel and understand all the thoughts, contemplations, judgments, and sensations I had at that moment. No, even 'understand' is insufficient. It was beyond that."
"..."
"Considering all of that, one thing was certain."
His red eyes sank so darkly they almost looked black.
"Kishiar La Orr would have definitely been defeated by Yuder Aile there that day, no matter what."
Because it was a place he had worked hard to create for a long time, hoping for that.
Yuder's breath stopped for a very brief moment.
"That place that day was the Black Swamp Formation. It was a place to end things perfectly and cleanly by cutting out only the king's piece."
The Black Swamp Formation. One of the tactics used in tactical games, it belongs to the so-called 'suicide tactics'. Suicide tactics refer to a collection of strategies aimed at achieving victory by deliberately giving up some of one's own pieces to the opponent and then taking advantage of the resulting benefits. However, among such suicide tactics, the Black Swamp Formation was rarely used because the piece that had to be given up to the opponent was none other than the king's piece.
It would naturally be thought that the game ends when all the king's pieces die, but sometimes, very rarely, exceptions do exist. This is in cases where during the game, without the opponent noticing, a 'substitute piece' is completed by following a very delicate and complex method. Those with a substitute piece could make it function temporarily like a king's piece even if they lost the king's piece. In other words, it becomes possible to continue even though the game has ended.
Of course, compared to the real king's piece, the substitute piece has infinitely limited range of movement and abilities. Therefore, even if successful, the result is often worse than failing in eight or nine out of ten cases, so it's generally considered better to just lose cleanly and play the next game.
A messy tactic where a clean and quick defeat is said to be better.
A dirty and ridiculous tactic where what can be gained is too little compared to how complex and difficult it is to succeed with the tactic.
The name 'Black Swamp Formation' was given because the sight of ultimately losing even after raising a substitute after the king dies looks like sinking into a black swamp created by greed.
Yet Kishiar called that place on that day when he met his death in his previous life the Black Swamp Formation. That means...
'The king's piece that had to die would have been Kishiar. And the substitute piece...'
As if confirming Yuder's thoughts, Kishiar opened his mouth and spoke.
"He, no, I was satisfied then. I thought I could finally achieve the best result."
A clean death for himself.
Safety for all who believed in and followed Peletta and Kishiar La Orr.
The continuation of the Cavalry.
A promise with a pitiful yet shining one who had unfortunately become connected to him.
And even the chance to continue that person's life full of potential...
He believed he could obtain all of that. He was relieved and happy believing so.
Comments
Shrak Prince
I wonder what gloves!kishiar and current kishiar would talk about it they met, now that they know the results of both games. I bet gloves would give current kishiar a thumbs up just for taking care of yuder :)
Bernie Jay
The past them continues to cut with a million knives. For present Kishiar to know fully how his past timeline ended, and how he’d be fully aligned (like, if he had to, he’d do it again) breaks my heart. On the other hand, Kishiar wanting to be adorable, like a flower petal, for Yuder is the mostest. They’re too cute!
Liandrin Kamiya
Oh no :( I’m a little afraid to read the next chapter, there’s no way Yuder’s reaction will be good 😢 Like, we as readers all at least suspected this by now, but Yuder didn’t. And he’s going to feel like he failed and threw away Kishiar’s sacrifice, even if it wasn’t his fault.
timbernfan13
damn, I thought I was just getting to see some fluff and cuddles but at the end I'm tearing up
Patricia Ort
I always thought Kishiar had allowed Yuder to kill him in Yuder's previous life. I think if their relationship then had been like it is now, he would nor have been able to do that. That said, I wonder if after Katchian is dealt with if Kishiar will be made crown prince. Now that he is healed, it would make sense.
Dani
Again, we get confirmation of what we've long expected. It still hurts. Omg it hurts so much! 😭
Jesse Gibson
Yea, called it. Kishiar planned his own death and planned for Yuder to be the one to do. Kishiar was dying, horribly. Yuder needed to gain katchians trust and protect the Calvary. His death would free Yuder from their connection they both believed the other didn’t want, he also gets to die cleanly with the one he loves… three birds, one stone Ahhhh man this hurts 😭
Tgcf_fan
FUCKK THIS HURTS SO MUCH 😭😭😭😭
Mochi Chan
Damn this went from puppy cute to getting stabbed with the feels, like what a 180
