Cigusa
patreon
I'm back & The Reasons why I stopped.
🕑 Added 2023-10-11 22:20:47 +0000 UTCI'm Really REALLY Sorry that I've been inactive for so long. I know I owned you an explanation. In this post I want to apology to all my supporters in every platform, also tell you the reasons why this happened.
There had been various issues occurred to me in the past 2 years. Although each of them was not strong enough to kill my motivation for drawing by itself, together they got the job done.
Here are the issues:
1. The platforms are not ideal.
As some of you may know, Patreon has been kind of harsh to porn/ adult artists for quite some time. For the past 2~3 years I've kept hearing artists got banned, some others decided to leave. It discouraged me to put more efforts on the platform. Another site, my first one, Pixiv, is falling down as well. I also heard some online payment companies become unfriendly to NSFW artists too.
No I didn't get ban once. However it's because I stopped drawing sensitive/risky themes myself, in order to prevent that. And I hate that kind of self-censoring mindset, which led to the lack of passion/motivation.
2. AI art
Nowadays by using AI software anyone can easily produce high quality 2D art. It feels like drawing becomes something outdated . I still have fun drawing, but it's reduced to a mere hobby. Since anyone can generate images with AI now, why do my works matter? I know lots of people would give counterargument but a part of me just couldn't get around such question.
3. Lack of improvement.
I've been feeling my art skill has not been improved for a long time. Today looking around you can find a lot of high level artist here and there easily (need less to say we have AI now), and I feel like I haven't been catching up on them. Nothing feels worse than knowing yourself not making any progress on the thing you want to get good.
4. The franchises I love all died.
MLP(G4) and Idolmaster are 2 my favorite franchises. Not only they've been over for quite some time, they also become almost forgotten. Yes they both have sequels and new spin-offs, I know, but they didn't carry on the mojo for me. I still love these 2 series but I know something has forever changed.
5. Chasing trends is exhausting.
How to get more famous as an online artist ? Chasing the trends. Drawing new game/show characters, new meme, etc, whatever is trending on social media, draw them. At first it was fun, then it slowly turned into a chore. Most of the time I don't care about the new trends and have 0 interest in drawing them, but every time by not doing so I feel like I'm losing opportunities to get more followers/fans/supporters (and it's probably true). It resulted in great stress.
6. Real life problems.
Last but not least, just like usual people I also have life problem, such as income, relationships, health, family, etc. Last year I lost a family member, and another one is in hospital at the moment fighting with a fatal disease. I got both physical and mental problem myself too. Nothing severe but surely upsetting enough. These problems also took away my will to draw in different ways.
In conclusion, these are the reasons why I become inactive for so long. I'm really sorry. The good news is, I've figured lots of things out and I am back now. I'll share my future plan in the next post.
Thank you all for your reading and understanding. Thank you for all the supports happened when I'm away. Sorry again, and I wish you all health and happiness!
