Bleap
patreon
CHP 61: A Normal Day At Chaldea
🕑 Added 2024-03-23 16:11:10 +0000 UTC"998... 999... 1000."
Nicholas threw his custom 200 lbs dumbbells on the floor after completing one of his increasingly intense workouts and wiped his forehead with a towel out of sheer habit even though there was no actual sweat.
"This is never going to be not satisfying."
He could grind all he wanted, play games, eat good and go around looking at all sorts of stuff across all of time while beating up the occasional dumbass that didn't know what was what.
Sure there was the whole, fix time or humanity is going to be ruined part but eh, it wasn't all that bad for him all things considered.
Besides, he- no... Chaldea had a trump card.
Gudako was there, all they had to do was let her gamble and everything would probably be alright.
Ehem Jokes aside, he'd punched down at the Earth not even half-serious a while back and reshaped the whole continent of Antarctica.
In that respect, his strength was a bit inconsistent actually...
He could punch as hard as he needed to from what he understood.
But eh... all the complicated logistics and stuff was for the geniuses all over Chaldea, he was just a grunt that hit what he was told to... and even that when he wanted to.
Man, Olga was an awesome boss.
The bonuses were even more awesome.
Nicholas Martel was a millionaire at the moment.
"Heh, rags to riches."
"Except you have a college degree, can't imagine that would be very cheap." Olga commented flatly, holding a tray of cold ones in one hand like a professional hand with the other behind her back, "While I doubt the credibility of your teachers, the fact that you did is undeniable."
Nicholas ignored her comment, instead eying her up and down, "You got used to that way too quickly..."
"...I-I don't mind if it's you."
"And are way too good at it too... Is this what geniuses are like?"
"Thank you... I guess?" Olga was visibly confused.
"And I went to a public university." Nicholas answered her earlier doubts, scratching his chin and looking at his equipment, wondering what to do next.
"Hm... I guess that makes sense. Wait no, I couldn't relate." A strange glint flashed in Olga's eyes as Nicholas turned her way in horror, "The Ani-..."
"Don't you dare, woman."
Olga grinned, "The Animusphere have never lacked for funds, imagine being poor."
"Imagine having a father that pays attention." Nicholas shot back involuntarily before he quickly covered his mouth while the Director of Chaldea fumed.
"Imagine having the mental capacity for coherent thought."
"Wut?" Nicholas slightly tilted his head.
"Exactly." Olga chortled but got too confident in her win, "Imagine being able to understand words."
"Imagine being gaslit by Willy Wonka."
"I-Imagine eating slobber and calling it a delicacy."
Nicholas smiled faintly at her poor insult and changed the conversation before it got too mean, "You said the Animusphere were rich?"
"Y-Yes..." Olga paused before smiling, probably at his lack of tact, "We were well off as one of the Lords: Monarch but then Father won the Fuyuki Grail War and wished for even more wealth. As a result, we have wealth beyond your wildest imagination."
Nicholas gave a small nod, "...Neat. And now it's yours?"
He cooked up an absolutely devious caveman strategy within a fraction of a second using his unparalleled intellect.
"As the family head, yes?" Olga tilted her head in confusion, shifting in her place a bit, "I don't see where this is going? This is the first time I've seen you so curious about me."
"Why wouldn't I want to know more about you?"
Olga flushed, misunderstanding his dastardly intentions, "A-Alright."
And before she could calm herself down, Nicholas dropped another bomb.
"Wanna be my sugar momm-... Wanna get married?"
"..."
The Director of Chaldea short-circuited.
Unfortunately, his Master plan was interrupted by a random Mozart, "Ah, I feel I must interject... Shouldn't we worry about saving humanity first, Master? No, before you misunderstand, I am most certainly not interrupting because of how you're trying to take advantage of a gullible young dame."
The Musician smirked knowingly.
"I was just fucking around." Nicholas looked away like someone who totally hadn't been caught red handed, "What you even doing in the gym?"
Mozart smiled wider, "Mere curiosity, or perhaps fate itself propelled me to your meeting. Nonetheless, I wish to inform you that there is a confrontation in the cafeteria."
"Ah Nicholas! I was looking for you!"
Romani walked in holding a clipboard.
"I have to brief you on the next singularity."
And was promptly ignored by Nicholas who just rushed past him.
"...Later I guess? What happened?" The good doctor confusedly scratched the back of his head.
-
"We need burgers and pizzas!"
"I'm certain but the Lord advises of modest eating, you must have your vegetables!"
"Screw your lord! And you're outnumbered three to two! Surrender!"
"These fists are all I need to beat you delinquents!"
Mash looked between the clashing parties multiple times and then at her jacket, hiding behind an overturned table.
She'd made the mistake of leaving it at the counter when eating when she should have known that Chaldea's eccentric residents would find a reason to hit each other, "Da Vinci, shouldn't we stop them?" The demiservant looked to the other woman hiding beside her.
"Meh, it's alright. You have to let them get it out of their systems... and it's fun to watch so all's good!" The genius inventor gave her a thumbs up before returning to stuffing her face full of popcorn, "I believe in you Jeanne! Show them the evil of their ways!"
"I will!" Jeanne D'Arc nodded earnestly at the cheer, summoning only her gauntlets... making for an odd dress when one considered she was wearing a white blouse and navy skirt. Her companion hadn't even deigned to armour herself, wearing only a simple dark sundress.
"I'll bash your damn faces in if you don't sit the hell down!" Martha cracked her knuckles.
Mordred jerked at those words and held her hands up in surrender, "R-Right... I'm out."
"A tyrant knows when she is outmatched."
The Knight of Betrayal slowly backed down, as did her mother... both accustomed to the wrath of the Saint that made the kitchen her domain.
In the end, Jalter found herself standing against two mighty foes by her lonesome.
And expectedly, her confidence took a hit.
"Y-You damn cowards!"
"Cowardice is damn fine when I'm up against a bitch straight outta hell."
It was at this moment that the doors to the cafeteria slid away and their Master sauntered in curiously.
"Mozart told me there was a fight going on here. Y'all really left me out?"
Jalter's eyes lit up, "Yeah, there is! You're gonna help me right? Let's beat their asses together!"
Mash silently noted the logic there, they were technically married?
She made a note to congratulate her senpai later, the annoyance in her heart didn't matter.
"Master, stay out of this... I need to put her in her place! She refuses to learn or do anything productive." Martha spoke out calmly, "I won't push you for a decision but I refuse to be related to a waste of space."
"How would you be related to her?"
"T-That doesn't matter right now!"
Mash couldn't understand the logic there. She did understand that both Saints were only fighting for the Alters' sakes... worried for their self-destructive habits.
"It's a two on one though..." Nicholas crossed his arms, willing to negotiate, "I can't let you gang up on the first goth chick that wants to talk to me."
Martha narrowed her eyes before nodding firmly and turning to Jeanne D'Arc, "You stay out of this, I'll deal with her."
"B...Will you be alright?" The Patron Saint of France asked worriedly.
"Yes."
Jeanne dematerialised her gauntlets and backed, "If you say so."
"Boo! One on one is boring!" Da Vinci boo'd from behind her table.
"Shut yo mouth."
"Sir yes sir!" The genius inventor saluted Nicholas and proceeded to shut her mouth.
Mash recalled the very distinct cries of despair when Leonardo Da Vinci messed with Nicholas and he wrecked all her stuff.
"I really don't like how all of you just started acting like I don't exist at all." Emiya finally spoke out from his dark corner with a sigh, "I know I asked but it's getting to me for some reason."
-
Hope you enjoyed the chapter
Comments
Smithy Boy 420
Poor emiya, I hope he's in the next singularity.
SaffireSpirit13
lol Emiya
