DarkTechnomancer
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My Own Best Friend 49 - Put Me In, Coach
🕑 Added 2025-04-17 17:55:56 +0000 UTCIt’s not surprising that Talla wants to know about the candles. Actually, in a way it’s a bit of a relief that the locals are as confused by them as I am. I couldn’t possibly answer what they are even if I had the words, but her second question has a very easy answer.
“Where?” I repeat, more to give her the corresponding word in my language than anything.
I point towards the giant double-doors leading into the convergence point—the place from which I emerged. I’m still a little unclear on what exactly it is or what it means, but apparently it’s a weird enough place that Nipper, the candles, and I don’t provoke much more than mild curiosity.
Well, from this group at least. The other one tried to kill us, so maybe I should be a little more cautious.
Talla follows my gaze and chuckles mirthlessly. “[Ah, of course. I suppose that was a silly question.]” She puts the candle away in her cloak, but then her expression turns grave as she pulls out a second, and my blood turns to ice. “[And what about this one?]”
The candle she presents isn’t lit. The wick is black and burnt, and though it still has the same pristine unmelted shape as the rest, I know without even looking that it will never burn again. Its flame is gone, along with most of its magic.
“Fuck,” Maggie mutters under her breath.
I draw my knees up to my chest and look away from it. For once, I think Maggie’s language is entirely appropriate for the situation.
“We didn’t know that would happen,” I murmur, as much to Maggie and myself as to Talla. “We were just defending ourselves. It was an accident.”
“[I’m sorry?]” Talla asks, grimacing. “[I didn’t catch most of that. I don’t have the benefit of a translation skill, remember.]”
My eyes start to well up, and I take my glasses off to wipe them with my sleeve, sniffling.
“[Oh. Oh no, I—I didn’t mean to, uh...]” Talla starts to panic, looking back towards her companions for support. The pair of them studiously ignore us, concentrating on their food prep with laser-like focus. “[Oh, you bastards,]” she mutters. “[Look, it’s okay Allie—you don’t have to force yourself.]”
I shake my head and let out a shuddering breath, replacing my glasses. Searching around for some way to explain, I settle upon the matchlock pistol at Talla’s hip—the same one that we recovered from the leader of the group that tried to kill us. I’m not entirely sure why she has it, but I think the others mentioned something about her being related?
That thought makes me hesitate. Should I really tell her? I want to trust Talla. She’s the closest thing we’ve got to a friend, and she seems earnest in her attempts to understand us, but I’m worried she’ll take it the wrong way. But I’ve already lied to her once, and I feel bad enough about that as it is. With a heavy sigh, I point to the extinguished candle, then to the gun, then to one of the lingering bloodstains on the cavern floor. I lock eyes with Talla, my expression grim, trying to drive my point home.
She blinks at me, glances down at the blood stain, then back at the candle, and then finally gently touches the gun at her side. Her hands tremble so badly as she stares at the candle that she nearly drops it.
“[O-oh...]” Her voice is barely above a whisper, and she swallows hard. “[You weaponized them somehow? Did you use the alchemical arms or...?]”
She trails off as I shake my head. “Magic,” I clarify.
“[I don’t know what that word means,]” Talla says with a grimace.
I squint my eyes shut, trying to find the word in their language. Even though she just said it a minute ago, I can’t quite work it out, so I go with something simpler.
“Skills,” I explain, then repeat it in Fa’aun. “[Skill.]”
She furrows her brow. “[As a leader/traveler? At tier one? That doesn’t make any sense unless...]” She turns to stare at the candle-burrito.
They confiscated that too, much to my chagrin—it was much more comfortable to sit on than the rocky ground. They have mostly just left it alone, though.
“[Allie, do you have an extra class mastered that you’ve been hiding?]” she asks. “[It’s okay if you do—it’s my own fault for not asking earlier—I just need to know. There’s no way you could have done what you’re describing at tier one without a pure magic class.]” Before I can answer, she tucks a stray lock of hair behind one of her horns and huffs, her eyes swimming as though she’s reading something invisible in front of her. “[No, even then—Reyna was tier six. Oh, of course, you learned magic from the candles. Blood and acid! Not just them, either—the basilisk! Two sources of fire-attuned magic to gain classes from, a second grade class purely focused on fire magic, and power sources better than any fire crystal...]”
She trails off, almost hyperventilating now. I start to sweat a little, not only because she’s almost spot-on, but because from the sounds of it, we got extremely lucky.
“[Can you switch back to it?]” Talla asks. “[I’d like to see it for myself.]”
“Aha,” I chuckle nervously. Not really sure how to navigate this. “Hear that, Maggie? She wants to meet you.”
“Fuck it,” Maggie replies. “In for a penny, in for a pound. You’ve already decided to spill the beans, so whatever. Put me in, coach!”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Vi hedges.
“Too late!” I declare, startling Talla by snatching the extinguished candle from her. “I should have done this from the beginning...”
Before the goat lady can protest, I pull out a candle of my own and hold the two up in front of me. Without even bothering to touch the two together, I focus on the fire from one and move half of it to the other. The candle reignites, neatly destroying the evidence that I used it to kill someone fifty levels higher than me.
[Level up!]
Firecaster is now level 2.
+2 Power.
+2 Awareness.
“Tada~!” I sing with a smirk.
Talla’s jaw drops open as she grabs the candle back, turning it over in her hands and inspecting it carefully.
“[What?! How did you—?]” she sputters. “[That was so smooth! Even most dual-class mages struggle with complex manipulation like that. You must have gotten sense and manipulation in the same class, but even then this is...]”
She freezes, her eyes going wide as she stares at the candle in her hand, then her eyes flicker to the one in mine before looking up to meet my gaze.
“[Uh...m-maybe we should just keep this between us,]” she says quietly. “[I don’t think Draga—]”
“[Don’t think I’ll what?]” the ranger leader interrupts from right behind her, causing her to jump and drop the candle. “[Something you’re not telling me?]”
“[Girl things, Draga!]” she lies surprisingly smoothly. “[Allie has been stuck down here by herself for weeks! Figure it out and mind your own business!]”
He works his jaw for a moment, glancing between us but mostly focusing on Talla. Her excuse is obviously bullshit, but after a tense few seconds, his shoulders relax and he jerks his head back towards the pot.
“[Food’s ready,]” he says simply, then walks away.
“Oh, oh!” Allison crows excitedly. “I know that move! He’s pulling a Violet! He didn’t know what to say, so he changed the subject.”
“Wait what?!” Vi interjects. “I don’t do that!”
I snort at her indignant protest. “You totally do.”
Talla eyes me strangely, and a sudden shudder runs down my spine at the inexplicable feeling of being seen on a deeper level. That same invasive pressure that Allie felt outside the cave entrance.
“[Huh, there it is...Fire,]” she remarks quietly. “[Not even Mage, just Fire. And incredible magic sense for your tier. Don’t show that off too much, okay? The church doesn’t look too kindly on unlicensed magic.]”
Oh for fuck’s sake. You need a license for magic?! Fuck the church! Who asked them, anyway? I nod solemnly, internally swearing to take down this church for having the audacity to deny me the only good thing about this stupid world.
Anyway, Talla choosing to keep this secret is a good sign. We’re accomplices now! Maybe I can tempt her into learning chaos magic and joining me in my quest to dismantle the church. Actually, scratch that—too hard—I’ll get Allison to do it. I’d really like to know what she thinks Draga would do, but I guess that will have to wait for later. I was promised food, and whatever they’ve cooked up smells amazing.
It definitely hasn’t been an hour, but who’s counting? Talla beckons me to follow her over to the pot where the men are already ladling out portions of some kind of aromatic soup into large wooden cups. I pull Nipper away from chewing on the dropped candle to follow, my mouth already watering as I eye the soup hungrily.
The broth is a reddish orange color, with flecks of some crushed dry red, green, and yellow things slowly rehydrating within it. No meat as far as I can tell, but after nearly two weeks of lizard and snail, I could honestly use a break from it anyway. Instead, they break up some of those dense crackers and add them to the soup to give it more substance before passing the cups out.
Talla smiles sweetly as she hands one to me. “[Stingroot soup. It’s common fare, but quite flavorful. I’m sure it’s better than whatever you’ve been surviving on by yourself.]”
I think I’m in love. With the soup, that is. Talla, as the giver of soup, earns an honorable mention. Just behind Nipper, maybe.
“Wait, Maggie,” Allison interrupts hesitantly. “Maybe we should switch. We don’t know how palatable their food is...”
[Quick Sort]. “It’s fine. Sorry Allie, but you snooze, you lose!”
Talla quirks her head at that, but I’m too busy taking my first sip to worry about what she thinks right now. A rich, warm, savory flavor envelopes my taste-buds, causing my lips to pucker slightly as the atrophied flavor receptors awaken to proper food for the first time in over a week. It’s almost overwhelming, but I hold it in my mouth and savor the taste, my eyes watering.
Wait, those aren’t tears of joy. My taste buds aren’t the only things igniting! I urgently swallow the mouthful of soup, nearly choking in the process before I put the cup down and start coughing. I should have thought about what it meant that their name for the main ingredient translated to “stingroot.”
“Fuck!” I wheeze between coughs, fumbling with the string on the waterskin. “Itsh sho shpicy!”
Draga and Saban both laugh uproariously at my plight, even as Draga passes a handful of coins to the other man. Even Nipper, curiously investigating a few spilled drops, recoils from the spicy broth. Talla just sighs and hands me a glass jar of some kind of milk.
“[Here, take a—]”
She doesn’t finish before I grab the bottle out of her hands and take a large gulp of—what the fuck is this?! It’s much thicker than I expected and fills my sinuses with a strong pungent odor that causes a second, entirely different kind of burning. Talla winces as I shoot her a betrayed look.
“[—small sip,]” she finishes with a sigh. “[This is a kind of yogurt my family makes. I almost always keep some on me since these morons love to haze people with their special spice blend.]”
“[She’s even worse than you were, Talla!]” Saban wheezes between fits of laughter.
I flip him off, which just makes him laugh harder. I don’t think he understood the gesture, but the intent carried through. A few minutes to compose myself and some mouthfuls of water later, I manage to reduce the rivers of tears and snot I’m producing to manageable levels.
“Uh, never mind Maggie,” Allison chimes in. “You can have this one.”
“Yeah,” Violet agrees. “You’ve earned a treat, I think.”
“Fuck you guys,” I mutter. “I’m going to enjoy this spicy-ass soup, even if it kills me.”
Thankfully, it does not. In small doses, Talla’s concoction does dramatically cut the spice, and even adds a pleasant garlicky tang to the soup. Aside from the part where they all but tear-gassed me as a prank, it’s far and away the best meal we’ve had since arriving here. Tasty, filling, and satisfying in a way that nibbling on raw meat for survival could never manage.
Once we’ve all eaten our fill, the remaining broth is ladled into metal canteens and packed away for later. Whether it's as a weapon or a snack is unclear.
“[Everyone get some rest,]” Draga orders, once the cooking gear is washed and put away. “[I want to start our preliminary scouting as soon as possible. Something about this place doesn’t sit right with me.]”
Rest sounds good to me. As I consider trying to figure out a way to ask for the candle bag back, Talla once more proves herself best goat by setting out some bedrolls. They aren’t much more than canvas sleeping bags with wool padding, but that’s a huge upgrade from “relatively comfy” rocks and a pillow of candles.
“[Here, I’ve got an extra,]” Talla offers. “[We woke you up right? I didn’t get much sleep either, so I could use a nap too.]”
I glance hesitantly at the two men, but Talla just waves dismissively.
“[Don’t worry about them—they’ll keep watch,]” she assures me. “[They’re rangers. They’re used to roughing it a bit.]”
As tempted as I am to point out that she is a ranger, the siren call of the sleeping bag is far too strong to ignore. I am tired after the rude awakening this morning.
The bedroll is practically luxurious compared to what we’re used to, and Talla gives me a long look as I settle in for our nap with Nipper coiled up next to me.
“[There’s something different about you all of a sudden, but I can’t quite place it,]” she sighs. “[I wish it was easier to communicate with each other.]”
“Hmm,” I hum thoughtfully as I start to consider how to teach Allie how to teach Talla to copy our translation spell.
As I do, Talla glances surreptitiously over her shoulder, then leans in to whisper quietly. “[One more secret, just between us girls.]” She reaches over and taps my shoulder gently. “[Quicken Life.]”
A rush of vitality flows through me—nothing like a spike of adrenaline. The world doesn’t move any faster or slower, but I feel faster. My heart is beating faster, but it also feels like it’s at a normal rate. Every twitch of a muscle is just a bit more responsive in a way that’s hard to measure but impossible to miss.
“[It makes you faster,]” Talla explains. “[Not your mind, just your body. It’s supposed to be for helping patients heal faster, but I like to use it to take more efficient naps. The only downside is that you also get hungry much faster. Probably age faster too, but that’s minor as long as I don’t abuse it...too much.]”
Huh. I can already think of a lot of ways to abuse it for much more sinister purposes than power naps, but damn it I think I might actually be in love. Okay, no, it’s way too early for that, but still.
“Allie, don’t you dare fumble this one,” I mutter under my breath as I lie down and close my eyes to rest.
“Me?!” she protests. “You’re the one that’s smitten! Oh my gosh this bedroll is so cozy, though!”
“Right? So don’t fuck it up,” I insist. “We’ve got one chance at landing a cute, rich, sugar goat mommy. This is too important to rely on my non-existent social skills.”
“She’s right,” Violet says, surprising me. I’m not sure how I got the prude on my side for this one, but I’ll take it.
“Huh?!” Allison squawks incredulously.
“I just mean she’s a valuable ally,” Vi clarifies. “And that I don’t trust Maggie to maintain a good relationship.”
“See? It’s up to you,” I conclude with a nod.
“Maggie—”
“No more talking,” I mumble, rolling over. “Sleep now.”
“Maggie, we’re not done yet! Maggie. Maggie!”
Comments
Mikki Phoenix
Like a freaking cargo vessel, my friend. Like gosh darn FedEx.
ScubaSteve
i ship it
CringeWorthyStudios
Worth it. Also, hot. 🤣
Kennyevilmonkey
You'll never take me alive!!!
Striving Spark
The whole thing is still relatively new to us - so some of the struggles are still ongoing, and seeing those struggles represented in this story has just been... extremely validating, I guess? Not to mention relatable.
DarkTechnomancer
This post right here officer. Take 'em to horny jail.
DarkTechnomancer
I'm extremely glad to hear that! That's one of my main goals with the story, so it's heartening to know that it's succeeding in that regard.
Striving Spark
Thanks for the chapter! We just want you to know this story has basically become the thing we point to and go, "If you want to understand what our experiences with plurality has been like, just go read My Own Best Friend. It pretty much nails it." All of which is to say just... thank you for writing, and sharing, this work. It means a lot to us, already.
Kennyevilmonkey
And then she finds out that the family recipe uses 'goat' milk for their yogurt... Talla leans over and whispers in her ear, "Would you like more? I made it myself~"
Clara
Maggie found herself sauced by the goats, it seems
trufflezz
Sugar goat mommy ha nice. Tftc!
