Hey... I've realized I've gotten stuck in the awkward anxiet..
🕑 Added 2024-04-10 05:49:08 +0000 UTC
Hey... I've realized I've gotten stuck in the awkward anxiety avoidance trap of becoming stressed by being behind on messages, getting anxious about disappointing my subscribers, becoming too scared to open the messages from earlier on out of fear of having to confront my subscribers' disappointment, and then just falling further behind on messages as a result. π«
I am very sorry about this... I do not have an excuse. I know that I am probably disappointing many of you since I have been unable to provide what I am supposed to provide.
I am trying to overcome this, but since anxiety avoidance has always been a tough issue for me, I am currently unable to predict when I will be fully caught up again. π£ It is ridiculous because I have been worrying about this problem all day every day, but have not made much progress on resolving it at all...
On the bright side, I discovered today that I can sort of "hack" my mind by not replying to my messages by order of the earliest message received (which is what I usually do). I think I have subconsciously convinced myself that the older the message is, the more disappointed the person the message is from is--which is what I am probably scared of. I will keep trying to reply to my messages "out of order" (in this sense). Hopefully, this will help me gain enough momentum to take care of the rest.
Thank you for your patience with me and your continued support. >< I appreciate it a lot.
