DirtyClicksDirtyBits

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The Final Fallout [SFW]

Capitalism Bits here to talk about the new adjustments to the Patreon offerings. As previously mentioned, I had to clean up a mess I made: Livestreams are no longer accessible through Patreon subscriptions. More info on that in the audio. BAWdy Ratings- I completely forgot to touch on this in the au...

DirtyBits Ramble on Pride - 2021 Version

Okay, so. I recorded this last year on June 1st, to celebrate the pride month. I... honestly don't remember everything that I said. It's been a busy year.But I'm pretty certain I don't say anything that I would disagree with. And I thought it would be fun to try it again and see how ...

Unboxing Bits - Jute and Bamboo Shibari Rope [SFW]

Just a quick unpackaging. I'm so excited to have more ropes to play with. My other set is a bit limiting due to the length and I had a person challenge me to do a pentagram tie on my own. Challenge accepted, sir. Gimmie a sec.

Important Information for June 2022

Hello, my Favorites!How are you doing!? I hope well.So, there has been a bit of a shake up, regarding my ability to offer discord and streams as rewards. There is more information about that [HERE]. Long story short, I'm a bad girl and Patreon is for well behaved girls, only. Oops.That's oka...

Cards for June - Tarot for Your Dick - Part Four

The Final card brings us a final message, and completes the reading for the month ahead. It seems like a pretty clear message to me: The beginning of the summer is a great time to take stock of how you are feeling and take some small steps to improve your existence; It's okay to prioritize your ...

Cards for June - Tarot for Your Dick - Part Three

Our third card brings warnings that should be headed. Dangers lie ahead, for those who do not rest.

Cards for June - Tarot for Your Dick - Part Two

A second card for your curious ears. More information. More clarity. More questions...

Cards for June - Tarot for Your Dick - Part One

So, I'm super behind on Friday patreon releases and I just.... can't have that hahaha. I figured with a new month coming, you probably wanted to know what's in the cards for your dick. And I can do that for you, baby! That's what I'm here for! I really enjoyed the Tarot concept t...

Weekly Bits - May 27, 2022

Trigger Warning: I use some spooky words and I touch briefly on the larger world events in this one. I mostly whine about my own shit though. Real good if you like an Irate Bits Rant.I talk about what's going on here, on Patreon, and how I am trying to deal with that fallout. The internet is a w...

Internet Censorship and Bent Over. Getting Railed.

Trigger Warning: I use some spooky words in here like the "R" word and the "S - A" words. I would love to tell you what the words are, but.... I can't. Isn't that funny? I am using the words in the context of words I am confused we are not allowed to say in polite youtube soc...

Unboxing Bits - Kudu VooDoo Order [SFW]

I bought some things.I got some things. I unboxed them. It's cute if you sing it right. I had a Kudu Voodoo order come in and I wanted to open it with you. Hopefully I will have pictures soon. Hope your day is going well!

Call for Pics - Show Me What You Got

So, it's been a hot minute since I gazed upon the beautiful offerings of your physical glory and, well, I miss it.....How this works: I have my neat little google form. You have use that to send me your pics. I only look at Imgur links. Please, do not send me direct images. This is for your safe...

Off the Cuff Bits - A Guide to Buying Sex Toys [SFW]

This was requested and I painfully needed a distraction. Hard reminder, all of my expertise comes from owning a butt ton of silicone to stick up my hootch and the info I have gleaned over the years. I don't have a background in chemistry or biology or anything. Some day I'll make a list of a...

IMMEDIATE CHANGES TO PATREON INCOMING - I wish it was good news

Hello my favorites!So.... Long story short, I have to make some sudden changes to some stuff around here. I have had a few things brought to my attention that I need to remove or modify in order to keep my page within Patreon's community guidelines and I expect I will be a bit brutal with the re...

WeeklyBits - May 20, 2022

Eeeey, it's Friday! It's been a quiet week on my end. Well, I had one interesting thing happen. I talk about it in here; It's cool. I'm live streaming on Discord tomorrow and Sunday. I'm going to bring my new toy to at least one of those. Maybe see you there? Hope your week has b...

DirtyBits Review - Hismith Premium Sex Machine: First Impressions

SOUND WARNING: It gets loud and high pitched. I'm..... kind of sorry for that. But at the same time, I know you want to hear me scream, so... we will have to work on the production side of things to not blow out your eardrums. Look, I'm going to claim this is like... a review or something? I...

Unboxing Bits - Hismith Premium Sex Machine [SFW]

Sound Warning for Uncontained Glee Look. I'm pretty sure I misrepresented ALL the stats on this machine, here. Like, doubling the weight. Oops...In my defense... I was excited and my mind was somewhere else and I literally JUST took it out of the box and I have been so PATIENTLY waiting for it.....

Raw and Unfiltered Bits - May 13, 2022

TRIGGER WARNING: I touch on suicide very quickly. It is just a couple lines, but I make a comment that could be upsetting if you don't expect it. The comments are made in the context of how sometimes people will threaten bodily harm to draw attention and how that upsets me. So, I had a really up...

Weekly Bits - May 13, 2022 [SFW]

Short update this week as I put the majority of my thoughts into the extended rant version that is.... far too long and emotional to feed you as a weekly update. I have a livestream this Sunday at Sun May 15 2022 20:00:00 GMT+0000 (Unix Timestamp1652644800). The Sunday streams are going to be a perm...

Please Don't Leave Me - Sample

I figured I would give you a little taster of this project, as I have been working on it and I would like to show off what I have so far. So, some context: this is super early in the editing process. I recorded a run of the script. Cut it all together. The narration is pretty hot. I debated just rel...

Tarot Reading for Your Dick - A FortuneFap [NSFW]

Synopsis: I'm going to read your dick's fortune. Great news, the universe has great things in store for it. Tags: [RambleFap] [FortuneFap] [Sexy Tarot Reading] [Oral] [Blow Job] [Cock Sucking] [Vibrator Torture] [Toy Play] [Sloppy Blow Job] [ Sloppy Pussy] [Clean Up] [Clean Up Blow Job] [Fem...

Weekly Bits - May 6, 2022 [SFW]

It's been another week, apparently. I've been busy and not busy at the same time. I think the "Friday" Patreon release will be late tonight/ early tomorrow...Something exciting, this way, comes.... Hopefully a couple things.Like... the projects I have hyped.... where's that genet...

Charisma Check - Dwarves - A Nerdy Ramblefap

Okay! I'm back with filler. But fun filler! So, we are into the humanoid-ish races. I think.... we may as well get into it, going from shortest to tallest. I know what I said. I know I might be wrong.A thing I didn't consider: My week of sickness was also a week off for my pussy... Girl is t...

DirtyBit's Toy Review - Vibrating Wand from PlusOne

This week I'm taking a look at the Vibrating Wand from PlusOne. I have talked about the PlusOne product line before and I was pretty impressed with the quality. And when I found myself in BIG BOX STORE again, I figured I would pick up the wand to check out. Convenient I'm on a bit of a vibra...

Weekly Bits - April 29, 2022 [SFW]

I'm legitimately physically ill this week and I am really struggling with how it threw off my recoding mojo. I was really feeling myself for a minute there.I'm spiraling on organization on the back end this week while I wait for this thing to clear up. If you want to hear the behind the scen...

An Upcoming Plotline and why I wrote it like that and where it is going - Behind the Scenes

So this is one of those peeks into how I do things, because, sometimes people are like, "Oh Bits, what is your process?" and the honest answer is..... I dunno, I feel possessed by smut sometimes.In an attempt to show how I do things Im going to break down some of my process on Part Two of th...

Mean Comments - Patreon Exclusive - Belated Friday Release

Heeeeeey. So. I went a bit hard last week, and this week I'm sick. I hope you can forgive me for picking some low hanging content and putting a low effort piece together. This one is more talking and less getting off, this time around. I'm reading some really horrible things people have said...

Weekly Bits - April 22, 2022

HAAAAAAY. Honestly, I'm so tired. BUT! I have a few things on the go/ on the way so.... We will keep working! Also, Sunday is my one year anniversary of making smut and thats kind of neat I guess.

The Box - Your Opinion Wanted

This poll is regarding THIS AUDIO. I humbly request your thoughts on how you would like this to go down. Okay, so, I see this plotline in my mind, and it's a basic but classic story arc: We've had the blow job. Then we have the fucking. Then we add a third party.Insert that one Lady Gaga sou...

The Box - A DirtyClicksDirtyBits Original

Note: So, the 'I' word is flagged by Patreon as unacceptable and we aren't going to argue with our hosting company, cause, they own the servers. I think "Genetically Questionable Coitus" is tongue in cheek enough and not necessarily a boner killer. GQC for short and confusion? Sy...