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May (2002, Lucky McKee)
64/100Spent a lot of May feeling as if there were just too damn much going on with May. You've got the lazy eye that makes her a social outcast (swiftly corrected); you've got the creepy-ass doll whose voice seems to intermittently be in her head; you've got her general attraction to all...
Secret Mall Apartment (2024, Jeremy Workman)
60/100Irresistible for about 40 minutes, thanks to the human Borrowers’ treasure trove of self-shot video—this project was surprisingly well-documented for the pre-smartphone era, and often shot from a variety of well-chosen angles that cut together beautifully, as if they anticipated a document...
Köln 75 (2025, Ido Fluk)
64/100Improvisation rarely appeals to me, instrumental noodling still less, so I’ve never listened to Keith Jarrett’s The Köln Concert. Nor has Köln 75 exactly jump-started my interest—hardly surprising, since the movie basically ends when Jarrett sits down (and Nina Simone’s rendition of ...
Little Trouble Girls (2025, Urška Djukić)
57/100Dirty pool to have my standard walk-out point (at ⅓ of total runtime) fall just as the choirgirls’ game of Truth or Dare is heating up. (Dared to kiss the prettiest girl in the convent—that’s where they’re rehearsing, for no terribly good reason other than amping up sacred v. profane...
The Hairdresser’s Husband (1990, Patrice Leconte)
33/100Second viewing, last seen during its 1992 U.S. theatrical release. Having loved Leconte’s previous film, Monsieur Hire, I was stoked for his follow-up; at year’s end, however, it made my list of ’92’s biggest disappointments, alongside the likes of Death Becomes Her and Toys. (Was a bi...
Caught Stealing (2025, Darren Aronofsky)
62/100Was After Hours mentioned in the press kit or something? I see virtually no resemblance outside of both being set in lower Manhattan (it’s not even the same neighborhood, East Village rather than SoHo; I lived on 11th St. between B and C almost exactly when this film takes place*, felt very ...
Gemko Quibi: November 2025
As a reminder: These are brief (though they always wind up growing longer and longer) thoughts on films that I'm revisiting mostly just because it's been at least 20 years and I’m feeling nostalgic and/or want to have a rating for them. Mostly stuff that's about to be removed from a st...
Hamnet (2025, Chloé Zhao)
40/100From apathy to enmity: a journey. Spent the movie’s first hour or so faintly bored, which seems almost inevitable—it’s essentially a biopic focused on the celebrated person’s wife and small children, about whom virtually nothing is known. Even the cause of Hamnet’s death is a mystery...
Jay Kelly (2025, Noah Baumbach)
49/100Crippled by rampant phoniness, plus some surprising ineptitude. I don’t blame Billy Crudup, who salvages that scene as best he can from beneath a singularly unflattering haircut, but the whole “Now I’ll drop the mask and reveal how much I despise and resent you” thing, following a prol...
Fool for Love (1985, Robert Altman)
50/100One of the long-forgotten indie films I “reviewed” (in 100-word capsules) for Entertainment Weekly back in the late ’90s bore the cringeworthy title I Love You, Don’t Touch Me! And that’s more or less the dynamic here, exemplified by the way that May is introduced hiding from Eddie i...
Bed and Sofa (1927, Abram Room)
73/100That '86 Soderbergh notebook entry became sex, lies and videotape...and also serves as a perfect logline for the remarkable, relatively little-known Soviet silent feature Bed and Sofa, which doesn't of course involve homemade pornos but is nonetheless arguably even more fucked up in ce...
Dark Habits (1983, Pedro Almodovar)
54/100Avoided this for many years because it looked like non-stop Fallacy of the Profane Granny. Nuns snorting coke and shooting heroin! A convent decorated with Marilyn Monroe and Raquel Welch pin-ups! There's a tiger roaming around for some reason! And all of that's not not somewhat tireso...
Shoeshine (1946, Vittorio De Sica)
66/100Let me note first my single favorite thing about this movie: Its original title, Sciuscià, turns out to be not the Italian word for "shoeshine" (as I'd always assumed), but rather a transliteration of how the Neapolitan accent pronounces that English word. It's as if a Japanes...
Sirāt (2025, Oliver Laxe)
59/100Raves: not even once. [I guess there's one minor SPOILER below.]Harrowing, to be sure, and it's arguably my own fault that the punishment our heroes(?) endure seemed wildly disproportionate. Or maybe Laxe's contextualization is overly subtle. In any case, it didn't register at ...
Going home to get my shine box.
Shoeshine got off to a quick lead in last week's request poll but was ultimately overtaken by Landscape Suicide. This week, it handily beat Branagh's Henry V and the new Running Man, pulling in 51% of the vote. This seems to me like one of the most notable classics I still haven't seen, ...
Oscar (1991, John Landis)
53/100Something I assumed about Oscar: Sylvester Stallone plays a character named Oscar. (Oscar doesn't show up until 40 seconds before The End.) Something else I assumed about Oscar: Stallone hangs Harold Lloyd–style from a clockface at some point. (He does not, nor does anyone else.) Somethi...
Landscape Suicide (1986, James Benning)
63/100 Looking up where I could watch Landscape Suicide (Tubi, surprisingly, but see Anal-Retentive Title Corner below), I inadvertently glimpsed the first few lines of a description, which read: "Benning continues his examination of Americana in this film through the stories of two murderers. E...
The Ice Tower (2025, Lucile Hadžihalilović)
53/100Not the warped fairytale I'd assumed (based on every promotional still), for better and worse. Better in that Hadžihalilović's strengths are largely suggestive, intimating another, stranger world at the threshold of our own; when she went full-bore surreal with Earwig, the eerie magi...
Shivers (1975, David Cronenberg)
56/100Second viewing, last seen at Anthology Film Archives' complete Cronenberg retro in 2002...during the course of which I also first watched Rabid and found that to be Shivers' much more accomplished near-identical sibling. A recent revisit saw me slightly less impressed, but I still thin...
Reflection in a Dead Diamond (2025, Hélène Cattet & Bruno Forzani)
63/100Can't imagine ever being anything but excited to see Cattet & Forzani ask themselves questions like "How can we create something visually spectacular from four quick shots of a man walking down a hotel corridor, stopping at the door to his room, then glancing over at the room next to h...
The Childhood of a Leader (2015, Brady Corbet)
50/100Title's final word does a lot of load-bearing work here. To be fair, so does Tom Sweet's presence (more than his performance per se; he mostly just looks absolutely perfect, a real casting coup) as the pre-pubescent despot-to-be. And Leader's magnificently led by Scott Walker's...
Suicide is painless?
Hope so, since Landscape Suicide came from behind (or so various comments suggest; I wasn't paying attention myself) to eke out a victory over Shoeshine in this week's request poll, with Splitsville a distant third. While I try not to read about films in advance, my eye inadvertently caught ...
Enjo (1958, Kon Ichikawa)
57/100Second viewing, last seen 24 June 1995. (My screening log indicates that I rented it from Kim's Video between theatrical viewings that same day of Apollo 13 and Party Girl—the one starring Parker Posey, not the one directed by Nick Ray.) Watched it this time in honor of the late Tatsuya ...
Good Fortune (2025, Aziz Ansari)
56/100Honestly, I didn't even need the high-concept premise. Would happily have watched an entire movie about Seth Rogen as a blowhard finance bro and Aziz Ansari as his put-upon personal assistant. Just watching them riff about anything is a good time. ROGEN: You got a hot date? What's the ...
Green Snake (1993, Tsui Hark)
62/100Anyone know Tsui's colored-gel budget for this sucker? Every dollar withheld from F/X work—released the same year that Jurassic Park made it clear that digital was the future, Green Snake features tsunamis that look charmingly as if some P.A. just tossed a large bucket of water perpendic...
Not enough of my yammerin'. Let's boogie!
As I noted in the most recent Quibi post, my October rewatches of Sick: The Life and Death of Bob Flanagan, Supermasochist (85/100) and In My Skin (74/100) were preparation for a podcast appearance on The Unwatchables on which both were discussed. That episode is now up. My guess is that many of you...
Sentimental Value (2025, Joachim Trier)
42/100Dunno if I'd say there are actual spoilers below, but I do give away a pretty funny joke right off the bat. Like all of my friends who've seen Sentimental Value, I cracked up when Stellan Skarsgård's art-film director gifted his roughly 10-year-old grandson with DVDs of Irreversib...
My Undesirable Friends: Part I • Last Air in Moscow (2024, Julia Loktev)
59/100Easily the most remarkable thing about Loktev's epic documentary project (Part II: Exile, due sometime next year, will apparently also run somewhere around five hours) is that she began shooting about four months before Putin invaded Ukraine, with no expectation that war was imminent. Her ...
The Devil to Pay! (1930, Geo. Fitzmaurice)
76/100Second viewing, last seen at NYU (seems to have been a class on early sound in Hollywood; I wasn't actually taking it, just sitting in on screenings) in 1995. Were I to draft a list of the most purely likeable characters in cinema history, Willie Hale, as embodied-more-than-played by Ronal...
Downton Abbey: The Grand Finale (2025, Simon Curtis)
55/100Best of the three films, though that's not saying much. (I'd intended to catch up with Ostensible Finale on I see now it's Peacock, who knows when, but was in San Jose for a couple of days on personal business and noticed that Camera 3, my hometown arthouse theater, was screening i...
