heatherbeck posts
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[Editor's Note: I promise, the freaky-deeky mask will make sense by the end of this essay. If it's simply silly, which is my intent, I hope it gives you a chuckle. If, however, it's giving you... mixed feelings... my apologies. Consider it... my contribution to any Halloween spookiness y...
Hey, guys. Meet Jackie
Well, Jacqueline. But her friends call her Jackie. She’s 24 years old, and lives just outside of Tampa, Florida. The year is 2031, by the way.A pretty normal gal, actually, our Jackie. Went to school at USF (Go Bulls!), and now, works at a small, boutique marketing firm. She definitely works more ...
Drink and Dance and Laugh and Lie.
There's your chips, play them as you like; smoke 'em if you got 'em; roll dem bones, do what you can with what you got; in-for-a-penny-in-for-a-pound, all that lovely stuff.I know, I know. You’ve probably seen this one before.But this is one of the very few images from IG - a remnant o...
I Guess I Dun Pulled an Icarus.
This is the picture I was planning on posting. It had just been taken, the sun was bright in my eyes, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us. It was a heavenly day in a wonderful place, with an exquisite person. Nothing can take that away; the rest of this saga is pretty incidental in...
Peacock’s Fart.
At that blippy point in life when you’re tipsy enough in the daythat the big, big skyis still as blue as a peacock’s fart, and the eyeball floaters, that you swear were caused by all the hangover headaches from a while, while back, start dancing around, and there are still hours, and hours, and ...
Letters From Heather - 2020 - Heat Wave
(Good God, what a lovely piece from @AldoInHeaven. I think the conversation included: “The lines are just gorgeous, the sweeping shapes, there’s an almost frenetic energy to it but it’s so demure at the same time.” and “It’s like, it’s filled with punctuation marks. The large brimmed, ...
“You look so sexy, Lisa.”
Oh, Haiii. My two favorite movies, unironically, are “Casablanca,” and “The Room.” (The latter is on in the background, right now, as I’m writing this.)I think it was the film critic of the Los Angeles Times? He remarked once that his job is to watch movies. So he watches every movie once....
Ham. Part 286
Hey, long-time Patreon people! Remember, how like, a couple of years ago, I was on this huge ham kick? That’s the thing about Spain, man. These guys know their fucking ham.It’s one of the most charming fixtures of every grocery store that I walk into. These are places not tremendously different ...
192
That’s how many steps they say there are, but once you break about 150, you tend to lose count. And the last thing you want to do is start over, so you just take their word for it. I actually am kinda weirded out by heights. I’m not going to freeze in place and be inconsolable; I just get that w...
Minor Swing
After a not-inconsiderable amount of cajoling, something rarer than a Sasquatch in a G-string: a smiley pic. If you’ve been around for a while, you’ll know that my tastes tend to veer toward what I call “the demure:” essentially, my way of justifying a default facial expression that (I feel)...
This Week’s Rain Storm.
The streets are pretty quiet here anyway, in this cute old city. Yeah, the tourists flood during the daytime. Can’t go to the grocery without someone on a loudspeaker talking through about how Carlos I did this or that. Big history of scandal here, which I like. But at 4:00 a.m.? Pfft. You can hea...
Will I See You In Septemberrrr...
Or loooose yoooou... to a summer love...###Hope not. I’ve been on what the Enlightened call a Sabbatical (notice the cult-like use of capitalization!). Wheeee!!!Those of you who keep close tabs can see the white space between the lines. Those of you who are new to the “Heather Crew” (A demonym...
Adios, mi pelo.
Rest In Peace, haircut that I’ve had since literally my Late 20s.After all the years I’ve spent living in Europe, one must remember that I was, in fact, in the middle of nowhere. And a big chunk of that was spent in quarantine when… Who the fuck of us was actually thinking about our hair in th...
The Difference Between Men and Women
Mars and Venus (a little in-joke for Astrid there — she'll probably correct me on my subpar knowledge of astrology). Anyway, the difference between gents and dames, guys and dolls. Yeah, in short, I would say that pretty-much everyone treats you a little differently when a part of you enters t...
Yeah, I know...
Life keeps getting in the way. And I’ve got a bit to catch y’all up on, believe me, I know... Suffice it to say, this has been a good night. The right mix of substances. A little rebelliousness. The kind of battery-recharging evening that clarifies. It occurs to me that a few of you have been st...
Real quick,
I’ve been working with Aldo. @aldoinheaven on IG. Here, to check him out on the Patreon. Nicest guy. Bright palette, a yearning to tackle demure subjects... We’ve been collaborating on a series of vignettes — posted one earlier today, matter a’ fact.I write the story, and he nails a visual o...
By the way, thought this was fun.
Idealized? Yeah. But I love it. Makes me look more graceful. Thanks to @mt.kaonashi (you can visit him on IG)— he’a responsible for this lovely work, and to him I say, Thank You.
Pencil Sketch
To follow up on the Instagram post… This sketch from @deuterusdeus on IG. Uncropped, because it’s friendlier here for nipples and the like. Good to keep it around for posterity, right? Anyway, I like it. ☺️
Letters From Heather - 2027 - Wild Dream
(Yeah, I'm a bit of a space geek. I know the billionaires are shitty with their dick rockets, but I'm actually super thrilled about the day in the not-too-distant future when humans set foot on the surface of Mars. We are a nomadic species, and it's a destiny fulfillment kinda thing. Hun...
Yeah, I’m good.
Just sharing a moment of appreciation to you, dear subscriber. I was going through some ollllld comments from back in the day. The so-many day mark of not posting anything, and figuring out that it’s a nice thing to get something in the mailbox for your lovely contributions. I’ve got some cool c...
Muchomuchomucho....
Just a late afternoon journal pondering, concluding at the same time as the beer did. Kismet. Apologies in advance for my wahmp-wahmp cursive. Hoy, y mañana, y siempre...
Somewhere...
"...in La Mancha, in a place whose name I do not care to remember, a gentleman lived not long ago, one of those who has a lance and ancient shield on a shelf and keeps a skinny nag and a greyhound for racing"
Omnomnom
“These gyozas are kinda like a vagina. A complex flavor that’s unexpectedly salty with marine overtures, a little scary, but wonderfully entertaining to eat, overall.” — Heather, munching on one of the first meals she hasn’t cooked herself in, like, 18 months.
The Age of Shrieks and Vomits
Everyone gets everything they want. I wanted an adventure; for my sins, they gave me one.I can't remember the year, exactly. It was when I was about 10, so it was sometime in that Golden Age of local broadcast journalism, long before the days when the oddities of the medium were chronicled on pl...
Plunge
When you get to be a certain age that some would describe as old-ish, there are certain privileges that come along with it. At some point, you kinda realize that you can serve as a sage voice of wisdom (or something). I have no idea where this role comes along... the older I've gotten, the more ...
My New (Disturbing) Favorite Food
First impression: I just found my new favorite food.Essentially, it’s a combination of dill pickles and olives. Olives are wonderful. Especially when you don’t have to deal with those fucking pits. Pickles, meanwhile, are also awesome. They have a salty brininess that goes well with the delightf...
My Turn
For dinner tonight. Bacon and eggs are upstairs already, and the rest of my carbonara is on point.Molto. Mutherfuckin’. Bene.
Gracias, indeed.
So, it turns out that SOMEONE, despite all her mystical wisdom and insight into the universe, has just as much of a 13-year-old’s brain as I do. Thanks, Astrid, for introducing me to an old standard Spanish bar trick. 😘
Track 7 - To Bra, or Not to Bra?
A little duo of questions that I hear from time to time. The first is one I've spent my fair share of time considering myself, especially during those instances when my bank account is a little less than agreeable: "Aren't bras expensive? How the hell do you even find them?"(In case ...
Heather & Astrid (Part the First)
How do you meet someone new?If you’re like me, a somewhat-insular, hermit-minded gal with no shortage of filters, defense mechanisms, and a (well-earned) capacity for (non-cynical) mistrust of intention… it’s not always easy.And how does a homebody like this meet someone, say, in the last 16 m...
