heatherbeck posts
Posts: 422
Files: 1011
"I didn't do it!"
I'm not one to be star-struck. Back in a previous life, I actually interviewed celebrities pretty constantly, and the hard truth is, they're a bunch of working stiffs, just like the rest of us. Nice group. They're more eccentric than the average person, so that does make them somewhat in...
“All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.”
I know, I know, I know. It was one of those apps I downloaded for a moment. $7.99 a week?! Ew. I said yes, and canceled. But, I still have my 3-day trial!Which I won’t use. Kicked it off the Subscribe pane. It was a fine diversion while I was lounging in the heat (definitely not pooping), and like...
Playing Footsie
They say the part of the brain that’s attracted to boobs is located right next door to the part that’s attracted to feet. Something to do with very-early childhood. Small babies spend a lot of time on the floor, next to their moms’ feet, or a lot of time nursing. Safety, security, sustenance, ...
Transatlantic
It was… Shit, which month was it. It was still cold. There was a fire going, one that had been roaring since the morning.It wasn’t the first time Astrid and I had met. (That little backstory takes place back here.) But at this point, we had gotten to know each other well enough. It was solidly C...
Oh, Dear Sweet Shitttttt. It Happened Again.
So, I understand. With great power comes great responsibility. I want to insert a disclaimer here, because this seems to be the right time to do so: I do not go out into that good world with the intention of causing any trouble. More often than not, I am only running my errands. These days, that inv...
I’ve been asleep…
…But I’m awake now.“If you give them an inch, they’ll take a mile.”As the Spaniards say, “Give them your hand, and they’ll take your arm.”Or, if you offer food to a cow (it was a mule, but pretend it was a cow so the story can continue), “If you give them a carrot, they’ll take y...
The Nocturnal Antics of My Ephemeral Roommate.
I don’t believe in ghosts. I never have, even when I was a little girl. But, as far as my imperfect memory can recall, I always wanted to.I used to work in an old building that, at one point in its history, had been used as a county jail. Legend goes, there was a fella named Hosea, who was the las...
Why So Serious?
I know, I know, mixing Batman universes. But for what it’s worth, Astrid recently reminded me that I look a bit like Jared Leto’s mom. I mean, hey — not a huge fan of his work, but I’ll take it. Massive props to a woman who (one can only assume) cultivated and encouraged such an eccentric in...
Srry.
(You ever wonder what people thought of you before? A while ago? Gritty. Welp! This above pic is just a stupid thing, from waaaaay back in the day, before anybody cared what a Heather was!)Hey. (Still italics!?! Wait, no? Ah, cool, nevermind.)3x Octothorpe (That's what they used to be called, be...
Big Things in Far-Away Places: Part 4(a)
***The following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. This post does not constitute, insinuate or recommend an offer to sell, a solicitation of...
All Things Heather - Spring, 2022
[Editor’s note: It’s 3:30 in the A.M., and I'm about to hit the publish button. I would LOVE to give this a proofread, and I will… tomorrow. So I hope you enjoy it, warts and all, before I have a chance to give it the fine-toothed rigamarole. Kisses and Hearts, Peace and Love.][Other Note:...
Fiction - "A Matter of Life and Breast" - Prologue
[Ed. Note: I hope you really enjoy this new little tale I'm embarking on. I've been working on it for a while, and have been collaborating with a positively amazing artist who is illustrating it. I normally post the tales of pure fiction in the appropriate $12 tier. But for this first chapte...
Big Things in Far-Away Places — Part 3
***The following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. This post does not constitute, insinuate or recommend an offer to sell, a solicitation of...
Ec-Clue'd-in-Black
Well, well. A murder most fowl. Buck-buck-buk-aw.What a terrible trist this was. Wherein some dames, with the best of intentions, found themselves in the midst of a post-war board game.And so the story goes, as we bat back and forth between our Patreon accounts. You'll find one half of this Stud...
Big Things in Far-Away Places — Part 2
***The following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. This post does not constitute, insinuate or recommend an offer to sell, a solicitation of...
Track 12 - Samantha
In short, my first (semi) kinky(ish) experience that actually meant a great deal to me. And, as it turns out, it was with a (gasp!) lady...?! I know, sinful, right? I'm not gonna dwell the shit out of it here, or anything. One of those tracks that didn't get goofy enough for me to be goofy i...
Big Things in Far-Away Places — Part 1
***The following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred. This post does not constitute, insinuate or recommend an offer to sell, a solicitation of...
Track 11: The Lightning Round!
[Update — Technical difficulties on the first attempt to upload? I think? Anyway, the audio wasn't working for some of you, so here's try No. 2. Apologies for the blargh! :-) As my grandmother used to say, "Oy, Gevultah!"]There was a volunteer campaign that the New Zealand governme...
Monopoly with a Seven-Year-Old
When I was younger, some friends of the family would hold this annual shit show they affectionately referred to as “The Buddy Bash.” This motley group of friends-since-highschool — otherwise respectable, tax-paying, God-fearing Americans — would generally start on a Thursday, and wrap up aro...
Fucking Cat.
[Editor’s Note: Hola, fans of fiction. So, during Covid, one of my things was to commission artists from around the world to illustrate these “one-offs.” I have a small idea of a story; share it with them; let them have their way with the idea; and then, they illustrate. I finish the story, an...
We Could’ve Had Pi.
I like to imagine, sometimes, the smaller moments in history. These instances we all know about, but we just don’t know the details. Like the Defenestration of Prague: did you know there were three of those? The second one didn’t count, apparently. But who cares about the act itself. I want to k...
Silly moons.
And big trees.And empty plates.And the patience of geckos, who are waiting for a snack.Yeah, I acknowledge the entendre.
Found a thing.
Written on the back of a street-side stumble-upon. I wonder about Fausto. Seems like a nice fella.
Damned what you know.
Remember that episode of “The Twilight Zone?” where the dad from “My Three Sons” flipped a quarter into the newsie’s coin box, and it stood on its side, and for that whole day, he could read peoples’ minds?I laid down a beer can, randomly, and it stood on its corner. It’s been that way...
Track 10: The Pros. Plus, a Little Sentimental Ditty.
I think, in a bunch of these previous audio files, I've sort of addressed the cons of having big boobs. Which is a bummer, because there are actually some good parts, too. It's a mixed bag, and I'll be the first to admit that some of it's gonna sound a bit strange. But, hey. I'm ...
Post Mortem: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Take a Forbidden Stroll Down Memory Lane
When you’re a big boob lady on internet, you tend to gravitate toward other big boob ladies on internet. There aren’t a huge number of us, but we’re a decent, motley crew. I’m not gonna name names or anything, but suffice it to say, some of us don’t know each other at all; some of us are j...
Hole.
One of my favorite artists is Ralph Steadman. By all accounts, he is a perfectly delightful man. Kind, friendly, outgoing, rightfully eccentric, and just generally good.If you don’t know him, Google will remind you. He’s that guy. His work is dark, and gritty, and fierce, and just very scary, in...
Podiatric Health
Fear not, ladies and germs. While it is not entirely uncommon for days to pass without me ever actually laying eyes on them, I have been informed that my feet are, in fact, in excellent condition, and that there’s no cause for concern.Well, I mean, at least my left one is, if this picture is to be...
ChirpChirpChirp.
That’s the thing about quiet moments. They can be so damned quiet.I’m a night owl. There is something refreshing about the idea that between roughly 1 a.m. and 5 a.m., the world is asleep and doesn’t really demand anything from you. I can putz around (putzing being one of my most cherished pas...
Track No. 9 — "So, if you could choose..."
This one is kinda an answer that leads to another question. I do get asked a lot, "If you could pick an ideal breast size, how big do you think you would want to be?" The answer is... complicated. I think I did a pretty good job of laying it all out here, and since I'm just about to post...
