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[Esc] reality posts

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astrology trash video

My mental health got in the way of me working on something else yesterday so I made this funny astrology trash video.I have concluded that yes, my face indeed looks atrocious without makeup. But I'm glad I tried it anyway.Always remember that there's always a quality you have that you take f...

beltane blessing livechat

Thanks to everyone who could make it! I enjoyed sharing this blessing with you. I will work out the timestamps for those of you who couldn't be here live some time this week so you can still get my smoke cleansing, crystal energizing and channeled Beltane Blessing. I hope you all will benefit fr...

⛥April Q&A⛥

At long last, recovered from the previous BTS post, fueled by caffeine and protein bars (really helps with ADHD!) and still fidgeting in my chair because sitting down for a long time makes my body temperature drop to an unhealthy level and I'm cold... It makes the most obnoxious noise and I hope...

easter rambles

One of my favorite photos from spring.Truth be told, I had to scroll an absurd amount, thinking "When even was my last BTS post?" ... It was a few months ago, it turns out. I've been busy doing my thing and creating stuff - nonetheless, I finally managed to title this post with the corre...

Marilyn Manson Songs for ASMR

THAT FUCKING SINGING VIDEO.I've been trying to get this video made for just about all of last month. This is by far the most time and energy I've spent on any video ever, because as I attempted to sing all these songs over and over, I realized how much I truly suck at singing all these songs...

🌿 Herbal Spa 🌿 Full Body Herbal Compress and Massage

THIS IS WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!!!This video contains my heart and soul, my tears and sweat, the best of the best of all that I have to give. This video is my essence, my purpose and my pride. But it is so much more than that.It's an ultra cozy super soothing old-school style nostalgic ass...

⛥March Q&A⛥

It's time to be productive so I can tell myself I've accomplished something after randomly working up a past trauma an hour ago! I'm so ready for life to go well again. So let's roll out your questions to make me feel better. I always look forward to these because you guys just ask s...

⛥March Extras⛥

You wanted a vlog - you get a vlog! Unfortunately, so far, this has been the only video I've been able to make this month. But better than nothing, I think. Trust me when I say I've been working my ass off... It just hasn't produced anything worth publishing yet but I'm fighting on. ...

⛥March Live Chat⛥

thank you for joining :)

Favorite Spa Trigger?!

Just wanted to ask you all a question before I go to sleep - yes, this is an essay question. If you have a minute to write a comment I would really appreciate it. What is your favorite ASMR trigger used in any spa roleplay ever? Could be a sound, visual trigger, atmospheric trigger, technique trigge...

My Food Quirks

Nothing to see here, just catching up with last month's rewards so I can get on with stuff. I hope you approve of your choice for last month's bonus video! The usual spam will follow shortly.

⛥February LiveChat⛥

thank you for joining :)

⛥February Q&A⛥

How are you all doing? I hope things have been improving for you and you're getting to enjoy life a little. I've been mostly ok with a good balance of managing meltdowns and little by little pushing myself to be productive. Today I challenged myself to do stuff for 4 hours straight and I rol...

ending the ancestral line

My ancestral line will not continue. I'm not sure if I made myself clear enough or not, but I don't want to have children under any circumstances and not for anything in the world. It just occurred to me that this means I am ending my personal ancestral line. It is my decision. I like to thi...

⛥January Extras⛥

Last week, I made you a vlog because I couldn't function enough to take on more projects. And then it took me forever to edit because I couldn't function enough to concentrate. This month, there are options again! But I hope you enjoy this in place of the video I could have done. I'm sti...

⛥January Q&A⛥

Excuse me, excuse me, rewards from two months coming through! How are you all doing? I must admit it was a really rough start to the year and I can only hope that this universal funk subsides soon while I try my hardest to melt the ice off of my motivation to live. I feel like I'm blowing at a g...

⛥January Download⛥

Excuse me, excuse me, rewards from two months coming through!Mp3 downloads from December and January - all of them. Enjoy!

chaos is my normal

How were you affected by the Super Blood Wolf Moon a few days ago?I'm asking how and not if because I hear from everywhere that damn near everyone has been hit really hard. And I'm no different.I've been living the past two weeks on the verge of a nervous breakdown. My disability carer g...

Extremely Soft and Incredibly Close

❥ Louder Music ❥ No MusicI've been working on this thing for you guys. Over the past week I've just been overwhelmed by so much love and acceptance and encouragement from you all and no matter how loud I want to scream thank you, it's just never enough. I'm so ridiculously thankf...

trauma blog

Two days ago, I had an emotional meltdown. But it was unlike any other because of what it did to me. I'm used to being triggered, crying and being overwhelmed by emotion to the point of plain passing out. It's everything besides that which changed who I am and how I view things.I'm sorry...

⛥December Q&A⛥

Happy new year. I'm starting to wonder about something - if a patron deletes their pledge, are their comments on my posts automatically deleted? Because I've been remembering questions I've read that I prepared to answer in my head but I'm not sure if I ever got around to answering t...

relapse blog

Hey everyone, I hope your Holidays went well. I just wanted to give a long awaited update and let you in on my mind a little bit.So here we go I guess... I've been struggling. At this point I can pretty safely say that depression has a tight grip on me. I've found it difficult to motivate my...

⛥December Livechat⛥

Thank you all for joining! I hope you had a good time. Looking forward to seeing you all in January!

a work in progress

I've been working on stuff. Unfortunately, I don't have anything to show for myself yet, because good things take a lot of work. I'm in this weird phase where I'm making slow progress on multiple videos because I start doing one thing, notice all the things I hate about it, require s...

★Party For Two★ #10

[Now back to the previous version because youtube doesn't like the fix]In this long anticipated video I am reading the Libra chapter! Go Libra! It's been a long time coming but you know better than anyone what they say about being fashionably late. It took a while because the first version w...

Feeding Hungry Kitties!

I got a lot of shopping done today. Since I had anticipated being ♪ Over the hills and far away ♪ a few months ago, I thought the next cat food donation from all the tier rewards Super and up was going to be delivered to a local shelter in Missouri. Blame the government, because they've lite...

a blog about low self-worth

My hair is in braids and just won't dryThe next video will be ready in three days timeTurns out I'm exhausted, I thought I was fineThe feeling I get is just Do or DieI've been on a diet to make myself slimCaffeine is required to not quit on a whimCheat days are few and my mood sometimes ...

Trigger Words?

For an upcoming video, I wanted to ask you what your favorite trigger words are. The ones that really make you tingle. If you could take a moment to write a comment that would really help me out. I'm speicifically looking for positive adjectives due to the theme of the video. Like, I know people...

Zodiac Complaints

I had a long day and made you all a little zodiac video. Recent events had me thinking about complaints that each of the zodiac signs might have. I hope you enjoy the video, watch it first before reading the rest of the post :)⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥ ⛥These scenarios are ob...

⛥December Download⛥

Downloads, anyone? Ok, ok, I promise you'll get to vote again once I make more than two legit videos a month. I made 3 in November, but two were kind of the same one, so just take them please.