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[MA] 238. Are You Willing?
🕑 Added 2023-02-22 01:58:52 +0000 UTCPrevious Chapter — Table of Contents — Next Chapter
[Chapter this week: 1/3
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When the Maiden—
Well, not the Maiden anymore. She lost her Racial Title when she reached B-rank. Shen had never called her by name out of respect, but calling her teacher or master would be weirder than by name, so he gave up.
When Liya was a dozen yards away, she uncrossed her arms, cupped her hands before her, and bowed. It wasn't a deep bow, but not just a nod either. She lowered her body around 30 degrees.
Considering her status, that showed slightly more respect for Shen than she would be owed even if she had killed his dog. At least in the Eternal Empire.
"My apologizes," she said without a trace of slyness in her words. "I treated you wrongly in the past. The Yin Yang Pure Water could only be used for a limited time after I got close to you, but I could've sent word beforehand. Part of the training I put you under required you not to know its true purpose, but I could've explained it to you first. Then, if you agreed to undergo it, I could've used an artifact to have you forget that conversation. You should be able to refuse it, even if I believe it would've been a bad decision. I had no right to treat you as a toy instead of a living being. I erred."
Her words shocked Shen. He was still half-unwilling to believe her, but there was no denying her gesture or the honesty in her voice.
"Is this your idea of a joke?" he asked.
Liya was still bowing as she replied. "No. I mean every word." She even lowered her body a few degrees more.
Shen felt lost... but not as much as he would have a day ago.
He didn't recall the memories he had just lived through, but he recalled an echo of regret in many of them. That was natural in life; people made mistakes and regretted them. That was even more likely when they lived long, despite stronger willpower and walking a Path—especially a True Path—making it less likely for people to act in ways they didn't believe in. It was a probabilities game.
Yet, feeling regret wasn't the same as atoning for it.
Shen crossed his arms and frowned. It meant many things in Syron, but he would continue this conversation using the Eternal Language instead. It was his own way of saying that if Liya meant it, she would have to obtain his forgiveness his way, not hers.
He asked, "Did you torture me against your will at the time, or did you change your mind recently?"
In the Eternal Empire, most Fate Origin cultivators wouldn't dare to keep an Ethereal Harmonization cultivator bowing to them. The very fact that the stronger party had bowed and said they were sorry was already a momentous show of sincerity.
However, Shen had recently received a poisoned gift from the Immortal Emperor, the antidron. He wasn't willing to accept anything that sounded too good to be true without understanding it first. Not even an apology.
Maybe she would get offended, but if she couldn't understand it, it only meant she didn't mean her words.
"Both," Liya replied cryptically. However, unlike usual, she explained her words right after. "I went through enlightenment in my battle against Uk'Gaar. I won't give you details to not hinder your growth; as I once taught you, getting information by yourself is also a way of honing your willpower. All I'll say is that such enlightenment had to do with self-knowledge. When I trained you against your will, I thought that I believed in the process. Yet, I now know that my true self did not believe in it. I always considered many, many things in drow culture wrong, though I also always blinded myself to my true opinions. Misguided or not, I erred, so I ask your forgiveness."
Shen was at a crossroads: he had to choose whether to believe past-Liya, who had said their relationship was vertical, or the one before him.
Past-Liya had taught him many things he believed in, but none were about herself. She always hid her personality deeply. The two things he knew about her were that she was ruthless and that if she believed in something, she would go through to the end with it.
That meant she was either tricking him was crucial for some plan, so she would be ruthless to him, or she really had new viewpoints. Even then, she hadn't changed entirely. If the new perspective demanded she say she was sorry, she would make it happen—see it through to the end.
The latter possibility sounded more plausible. Shen didn't put it past the drow race to ask Liya to trick him while waiting for him to reach B or A-rank. Then, he would feel closer to their race, like he owed them, or something of the kind.
However, he felt Liya wouldn't do that.
So, if he believed her, it left a single question: did she deserve his forgiveness?
He recalled the things she had done for his benefit. Foremost among all was saving his life. Although she had been doing so under her previous set of beliefs, including him being drow, he was alive because of her. That had been enough for him not to hate her, but he still wanted to conquer her as revenge.
Forgiving her was the same as letting go of negative feelings and such plans.
It was also accepting a sort of friendship between them. At least that's the impression she gave him by how she behaved. That's not how a teacher said she was sorry to her student.
And Shen didn't think he was very good in this friendship business.
He regretted many things he had done to or with Alicia. Every time he looked back at their friendship, he found himself lacking. He had often acted like she was a subordinate instead of a friend and hadn't cared for her feelings. There was always something more important for him to do than have a simple talk with her. He had been very utilitarian.
Getting enlightened about his feelings when he developed his domain, facing death multiple times, and the echo of the sentiments in the memories he had visited told him he had failed his best friend.
So, if he was willing to forgive Liya, he should start it right from the beginning—even if she might not like it. That's how he wanted his friendships to work. If your friend didn't confront your wrongdoings, you could only fall into a path of no return.
"I forgive you," Shen finally replied and sighed deeply. "But I want something in return."
Liya nodded, stopped bowing, and stood straight. She put her hands behind her back, and her long white hair magically got held in a ponytail.
She became an even more perfect incarnation of the girl next door and looked innocently at him, "Please, be gentle."
The cultivator let himself chuckle. "A cthulhu said that you should let go of your anger. That it would be the best for everyone, you first and foremost."
Liya's face twisted in displeasure at his words. "So?"
"So, I'm not inclined to believe him, but I want you to discuss it with me. I want to understand your hatred. And I want you to hear my opinion on the matter, even if you disagree with me."
Shen had been suspecting Liya wasn't hiding her emotions anymore, and now it became obvious. Her feelings were all written on her face as she went through anger to discomfort to... was that fear in the end? Was she... afraid of confronting her beliefs?
The drow closed her eyes, sighed, then smiled playfully again as she looked at his eyes. "You want to get to know me better, is that it?" Her smile widened. "So you want to go on a date with me?"
Shen rolled his eyes. "How old are you? Why are you acting like a naughty teenager? Shouldn't you be more mature than that?"
"So said the paragon of maturity!" Liya chuckled and walked closer. Her steps were light, and she was even slightly leaping like a kid having fun. "Let me teach you something about growing old and getting close to other people: you must learn when to relax."
He raised an eyebrow at that. "This is your way of relaxing?"
She rolled her eyes, reached him, and started walking around him. "Yes, Shen, it is, among other ways. I said I was sorry, and you accepted it. Now, I'm temporarily letting go of my worries and starting to bare myself to you. This is a gesture with deep meaning. I'm extending my hand to attempt an unlikely relationship with you. You can reject me, of course, but offending this intimate side of mine is kind of a dick move."
The cultivator guessed she had a point. What she said made sense—if all this wasn't a ploy. Shen wouldn't just trust her blindly, but he guessed he could see where it went and look for telltale signs of foul play as things progressed.
"Huh. Sorry," he said. "When you put it that way, I kind of like your relaxed self. Thanks for showing me that side of you."
"Apologies accepted," she replied, stopping less than a yard away in front of him. They were the same height. This close, he couldn't help but admit she even smelled good. "So, back to the topic, were you asking me on a date?" her playful smile remained.
"No," he replied and sighed. "I don't need to tell you I find you breathtaking, but we both know the gap between us. Talking to you like this... This is the furthest we can get. You talked about friendship, and it's already a stretch."
Liya rolled her eyes and said exasperatedly, "Shen, learn to take a hint! Are you that clueless?"
The cultivator snorted. He wasn't that dumb; she had said relationship, not friendship. But he also had his own beliefs.
"I don't mind some playfulness, but not when it involves serious matters. I'm not good at interpersonal relationships and need them to be very clearly defined, or I'll mess up even more. As I said, we both know that even a friendship would be a stretch. Leaving it open to interpretation—is it a friendship? Is the hot girl hitting on me?—would only end up with me confused. You might be able to play pretend, but I'm not experienced enough. I like knowing where the boundaries lay."
Just as Shen finished talking, he realized he had found a very roundabout way to say he wasn't interested in being friend-zoned. He would rather they kept it clear that they were friends and nothing else—for good. He didn't appreciate her being ambiguous about it just for fun.
Liya sighed. "Yes, you are that clueless." She looked dead serious at him. "You want me to open up about my anger. I'm saying I'm willing to—if you're also willing to share yourself with me. That's what a date is all about: mutual learning."
He sighed back. "You insist on calling it a date. That's the issue. Friends can just go somewhere together and open up. No need to suggest that it could become something that can't be."
Liya just looked at him with sheer astonishment for a while.
Then, she shook her head. "This is part of your charm, I suppose. Shen, I want to go on a date with you, with everything that entails, every hidden meaning, every expectation. I reached B-rank, and looking at my past, present, and future, I find myself walking a lonely Path. I seek companionship, and I find you a worthy candidate. Are you willing?"
Shen's mind broke.
She wasn't just messing with him?
"Wait, what?"
She chuckled. "It is charming! I won't go into details, but I wouldn't have been enlightened without you. It cemented your image in my heart so deeply that I can't even begin to describe it. I can't imagine pursuing a relationship with anyone else before I get over you."
The cultivator frowned. That made no sense. Even if he had inspired her somehow, he hadn't even been directly involved in it.
Liya exhaled, exasperated. "You can't conceive how profound my changes were or how important they are, and I can't tell you without harming you. So let me put it differently.
"Touching on a Law changes a Guardian much more fundamentally than living for a million years. So, from C-rank onwards, the lowest bar in the Alliance when there's an age or rank difference like ours is having the same rank. So, we can start knowing each other, but I will need to wait for you anyway.
"Sincerely, I wouldn't do it if you weren't a first-class talent who should reach B-rank relatively quickly.
"We're also not from the same race. Such relationships are also based on each race's characteristics beyond each party's rank. You're eighteen. I read some studies about humans only truly maturing at twenty-four nowadays, but ranking up changes that. So, you're already a man.
"I'm also a woman by drow standard, and I'm interested in getting into a relationship. Believe it or not, you're the best candidate. I appreciate what I know about your personality, though I need to know more. Not that I like everything that I already know; you're not even close to perfect. I don't like explaining everything like this, for once; I like romance and mystery. But you're good enough. Our Paths are also compatible enough through the Laws of the Spear. That only leaves your looks..." Her playful smile returned. "But I can kiss with my eyes closed."
Her smile and last words also had another meaning: 'I enjoy having fun this way. If you really can't stand it, just ignore everything I said.'
And, heavens, Liya had said a lot!
Shen found himself dumbfounded. He had considered conquering Liya only after reaching her rank. He would defeat her in battle first, then they would get to know each other better. She suggested reversing the order and skipping the battle altogether.
Sincerely, he could not understand her. Their earlier interactions had been way too... unique. Could she really consider him in a romantic light after all that?
More importantly, could he see her in such a light?
He asked, "Are you suggesting an exclusive... courtship?"
Her playful smile turned into a bright, happy one that seemed to annihilate all the darkness of Shar'Talon's underground maze.
"Of course! But we can decide whether or not to try after our first date."
To Shen, such exclusiveness was crucial. She was proposing that they actively avoided other opportunities until he reached B-rank. Of course, both were mature enough to understand that Liya had said she felt lonely, and he had said he lacked experience. Unexpected things might happen. But they would also do their best to resist it.
And with their willpower, the only way not to resist temptation was to believe with everything they had that they shouldn't. If that happened, the other party would get sad but understand the multiverse was huge and full of unexpected surprises.
So, did Shen want to tie himself to Liya until he reached B-rank?
Their Paths were compatible enough. She was beautiful and powerful, and her playful personality had a charm to it. He wouldn't mind getting to know her better, at least.
And that was it, wasn't it?
Shen didn't know her enough. He hadn't before her change and was utterly lost now. That a person could change that much made no sense to him at all.
Liya also didn't know him that well. They needed to get to know each other before he decided. That was precisely what she had suggested.
"Sorry for leaving you hanging," he said with a smile.
Shen felt empathetic toward her. Liya had chosen a guy who was not good with feelings, friendship, and much less romance. He abhorred leaving things in the air as much as she seemed to enjoy mystery in her romance. They obviously would need to work around some things if they were ever to reach anywhere.
Fortunately, they would have their first date soon; that was already a topic of conversation.
"I'd love to get to know you more," he said and extended his hand with his palm upwards in an invitation to hold hers. "Do you have any place in mind?"
Liya's smile grew even more enchanting as she placed her hand over his. "I do."
Then, she teleported them away.
[A/N: We'll get Liya's PoV next to see it from her lens. If anything feels too abrupt (as it does to Shen), it should make sense next chapter.]
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Comments
ManguKing
Romance so early in the story? Oh wow talk about escalating quick
Zaim İpek
Also, with her new B-Rank senses she can practically witness Shen's inner thought process as it's happening in real time. She could already almost do this at C-rank. Now he is an order of magnitude more simple for her to read.
Zaim İpek
At first my reaction was the same as Shen: "Wait, what?!" But then I remembered Liya was already extremely perceptive before and now she is a higher rank, has a new level of learning upgrade, and has achieved realization. Her perception of the story plot and meta-story even from within is now on a very high supernatural level. It's like watching a movie and guessing who the villain is before it's revealed but on a much higher level. She can see through immediate circumstances into what choices and options have the most potential according to her true self. And with her new ability to understand Shen and the direction of his growth as a person, she can basically run a an internal simulation and predict how their relationship and feeling would develop with very high accuracy. She actually knows quite a bit about Shen, far more than she is suggesting to him, but that's part of her playfulness. She wants him to reveal himself on his own terms even if she already knows. That process of revealing himself is also helpful to him in walking his own path, so it's a kill two birds with one stone thing. She knows how the game will end, but she still wants to play the game because the experience is worth it. Even now, Shen doesn't understand how closely she has been studying and analyzing him since long before he ever became aware of her existence. She knows more about him than we, the readers, know about him. Also, with realization, she had no personal insecurity and uncertainty. She is completely free to immediately commit %100 to any choice because she needs no time to figure out if it's what she really wants. She already knows. She has transcended the limits of human emotional expression, and is fully integrated with her choices. I don't know if I am exactly right with my perspective, but it seems to make sense. I'll see how close I am in the next chapter.
Nathan Sto
Feeling a little blindsided here…
