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DITW 11-17: Untitled
🕑 Added 2023-09-27 00:00:03 +0000 UTCThe thing in the shopping bag disgusted her. It represented the worst she offered, and Josh catching her with it put her shame into sharp focus. The only way for her to react to getting caught was to shovel it all back on him. He’d even asked her what was in the bag. Why would she have such a thing? The answer to that was terrible. But what was worse was the reason she had it now and was brining it with her back to Hyun’s apartment. The urge to discard it burned like a fever. Her stomach churned and roiled in the long and agonizing elevator ride back up to Hyun’s floor, and when she emerged in the hallway, she searched for the garbage chute, thinking she would drop the venereal thing down into the pits of the building’s waste management level. But flashes of potential discovery dissuaded her, standing by the stainless steel chute drawer in the carpeted quiet of the hall. Someone discovering it. An older woman with time on her hands to launch a campaign to track down who’d tossed such a totem of sin to where a child could discover it. Cameras everywhere these days, and then they shame Hyun out of the building for permitting such a degenerate acquaintance to disgrace their hallowed real estate.
Fucking Josh.
Fucking Josh was on to her. He didn’t know what she planned but knew he couldn’t trust her. It hurt that he couldn’t, but then again, he shouldn’t. Though she meant him no harm and she wanted only good things for him, there were tasks to complete before she could restore them to some sense of reclaimed unity. If he persisted moth-flitting around the lamp light of her sex, he would get burned. And she didn’t want that. She wanted him whole and happy. She wanted them repaired.
So with the forbidden thing wrapped and tucked under an arm, she resumed her return to Hyun’s apartment, nausea rising to tickle the back of her throat. Josh had scared her. She would never have thought he’d camp outside Hyun’s. What if he’d seen through the window and Hyun and her had been kissing, standing up where he could see them? That would be devastating. To her, and for him. Especially since such a debacle wouldn’t have been curated for him by her; it would be real and raw and terrifying. The whole elevator ride up, her subliminal mind replayed the evening, trying to recall if she and Hyun had shared any intimacy where they could have been seen.
She let herself back into Hyun’s apartment, looking to get rid of the thing in the bag, but still not finding a place. She almost placed it at the door with her shoes, but then imagined Sophie coming home early and...
That terrifying thought sickened her and raced her heart. And put her depravity into further hyper-focus.
This thing with Hyun was too much. More than she’d anticipated. All she’d wanted to accomplish was an alternate-theory stratagem, something that would muddy the waters should this whole thing blow up in her face before she could defuse it, but somehow it had grown by leaps and bounds, and she’d actually gone downstairs to retrieve a sex toy to use with Hyun. How vile.
Yet, she re-entered Hyun’s bedroom with it under her arm because there was no where else to stow it before she left in the morning. Hyun had turned the television and the table lamp off and the room was dark but for the silvery-blue moonlight coming into the small room from the window by the bed. Hyun shifted under the sheets, but she couldn’t see her shape or her face. She walked with careful steps, waiting for her eyes to adjust to the dark, making her way to the dresser and resting her sex toy on the top, pushing it back as far as it would go in the hopes something of Hyun’s would fall over it and Hyun wouldn’t notice the thing in the bag when the sun was coming up. Hyun was silent and so was she. When she’d left, she uttered the sly command for Hyun to remove her pants while she was gone, but now all that sexual adventure and excitement had faded. She returned to the bedside from where she’d departed and removed her clothes, getting all the way naked again and slipping under the covers. Hyun’s arm went around her, and while human touch right now should annoy her with all these conflicting emotions racing through her head, Hyun’s touch brought comfort. She put a hand over hyun’s forearm and held her.
Hyun must have sensed a change, whispering now with a measure of concern, “Are you okay?”
And she had no answer prepared, nothing to counter with, and she said what was true. “Josh was out there.”
Hyun stiffened. “He was?”
“Yeah. Just sitting out there.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. Watching me, I guess.”
“Did he say anything?”
“Yeah, we talked.”
“What did you tell him?”
“I didn’t tell him anything. I asked what he was doing here.”
Hyun thought about it for a while, scratching her cheek, then returning her hand to Kimmy’s arm. “Does he do that?”
“Follow me around and spy on me? No. I don’t think he does.”
“You’re not afraid of him?”
She chuckled and dragged her nails on Hyun’s forearm. “No, sweetheart, it’s not like that. It’s not like that at all. I’m not afraid of Josh.”
“Are you mad at him?”
“I don’t know how I feel. Mad, flattered, annoyed, alarmed . . . I don’t know what feels right.”
Hyun’s arm snaked away and she backed out of the bed, grabbing a bundle of clothes to hold against her naked body as she moved to the window.
Kimmy said, “Don’t turn on the light.”
“I’m not going to,” Hyun said, hiding in the shadows but eyes looking down into the parking lot.
“He’s gone home. I’m sure he’s gone home.”
“Where was he parked?”
Kimmy told her where Josh was parked, and Hyun said, “The spot’s empty now.”
“Come back to bed.”
Hyun complied, dragging out her departure from the window with wary downturned eyes before at last getting back into bed. Kimmy’s hands went right to Hyun’s thighs, stroking up and down. “You took your pants off.”
Hyun made an embarrassed sound and Kimmy let her go and snuggled against her. Hyun rubbed her shoulders, hands drifting to rub her collar then down her back. “Go flat, and let me rub your back for you.”
She rolled to her stomach, burying her face in Hyun’s pillow. It smelled like Hyun. She turned her face aside, looking away from Hyun, while Hyun began to knead the muscles below her neck and between her shoulders. Hyun’s hands were soft and delicate, but she was strong. The lid popped on what must have been the massage oil bottle and then Hyun’s hand returned, gliding across her skin, working fingertips deeper into her knotted muscle.
Hyun said, “Your back really is tight. I’m not just saying that, it’s really, really tense.”
“I believe it,” she said and sighed, feeling a shimmer of regret at what she’d intended for Hyun. But soon her mind drifted to Josh, wondering what would bring him to park outside of Hyun’s. She grunted with some pleasure Hyun provoked, running pressed finger pads into her collar and lighting up her vision with sparkling release.
“I think he thought I was here with Devlin.”
“In my apartment?”
“He makes things up in his head. He likes to do that. He likes to create terrible scenarios and then imagine they’re real.”
“But sometimes they are real.”
Hyun’s astute assessment felt harassing. Yeah, sometimes it was real. Sometimes she told Josh right to his face the bad things she’d done, and he’d lapped it up, eager and horny and under her spell in a way that thrilled her in the most unexpected ways. She shook off the aggravation, and tried fessing up to see what Hyun would think. “I’ve tricked him before. I’ve played games with his mind and made him think his wildest fantasies were real. Josh is complicated and . . . dark.”
“That’s why he was outside?”
“Yeah. You’re right. I drew him here. He wanted to think I’m doing something that would drive him wild.”
Hyun’s hand slowed on her back, still kneading, still plying, but like her hand had lost its bluetooth connection with Hyun’s mind. And she knew what it was; could picture Hyun’s path of thinking. This thing with Hyun and her tonight was all for Josh’s benefit; this was a Josh and Kimmy game, and Hyun was only a game piece.
But she couldn’t defend herself, couldn’t blurt out some proclamation of honest attraction to Hyun. It wasn’t there, and the absence in face of Hyun’s suspicion made her feel hollow.
Hyun said, “I don’t want to be in the middle. I don’t want to be between you and Josh.”
Kimmy right-faced now, turning her other cheek to rest on Hyun’s pillow. “You’re not, Hyun. You’re not in the middle of anything. I don’t want you to think that. That’s not what this is.”
Hyun watched her own fingers draw designs on Kimmy’s back. “But what is it? What is this?”
“This is it. I love your affection. I love your company. You make me feel safe. All of that is true.” She watched Hyun’s eyes dart around as she processed what Kimmy said, tried to find whatever advantageous position from where she would license whatever she wanted to claim from or provide for Kimmy. When Hyun’s face never brightened with the expression of a woman who’d made a decision, she touched Hyun’s cheek and cupped her jaw. “You’re not part of this thing with Josh, Hyun. You’re my friend. You’ve been my friend for a long time. You know that.”
Hyun nodded, her eyes still turned down, hand rested on Kimmy’s back, sticky with the oil.
“What can I do for you, Hyun? I want you to be happy. I want you to feel as safe with me as I feel when I’m with you.”
Hyun’s eyes moved with an inexorable slowness, and Kimmy waited for their gazes to meet. And when they did, the hand on Hyun’s neck slipped around to grab the back of her neck and guide her closer, bringing her mouth to Kimmy’s. Kimmy kissed her again, not with lusty passion, but with sensual slowness. Hyun’s soft lips were stiff at first but soon melted into hers. She broke the kiss off and let Hyun go, laying with her hair and admiring her porcelain skin.
“You make me feel safe,” she said, in a tone of reverence, as though the safety Kimmy provided couldn’t be described so easily. “You’re so strong. You’re courageous. I admire you so much.”
“I admire you too, Hyun. Everything you’ve built for your life, that amazing girl you’re raising.”
“I wish I was as strong as you were. I wish I had your confidence.”
“You’re perfect the way you are.”
Hyun snuffled a small laugh at that, and her eyes showed she liked the compliment.
“Not everyone can be strong. Soft and caring draws strength closer to it. I’m drawn to you for those parts of me I wished were closer to the surface, just like you. You’re drawn to me because you admire what I have you feel is missing in you.”
Now Hyun smiled, rubbing her own cheek against Kimmy’s palm, and Kimmy thumbed the soft skin under Hyun’s big brown eyes.
“I love that you want my strength. I want you to have it. I’d be strong for you when you wanted.”
Hyun’s head rolled, her cheek under Kimmy’s palm, then she was coming close again, looking to kiss her. Kimmy arched her neck and allowed their mouths to connect. Hyun moaned a soft sound that thrilled her, and she raised over kimmy, climbing over her under the covers, the covers sliding down her back and leaving them both topless. Her soft black hair swished on her skin like silk. It was passion like she’d never experienced. Hyun had no hard male angles, no tough skin, no coarse body hair. She was supple and loving and slow and the experience bloomed before her in a way she hadn’t expected. Hyun took the lead, sitting over her hips with her legs tucked underneath her, cupping Kimmy’s jaw and kissing her mouth. Kissing lower. Kissing her neck. Her heart raced at this unfamiliar sensuality, her thoughts careening to make sense of whether she liked it or not. The pleasure was simple to accept. The enormity of the act was something else.
Hyun’s kisses traveled her collar now, and Hyun shifted lower, her hips waggling lower, her fuzzy pubic thatch dragging a feathery line between Kimmy’s hipbones while Kimmy stared up at the ceiling.
Comments
Andrew Mellein
It was a family with two small children. I didn’t want Jess to divorce Pete and destroy that family (I usually reread KT’s other books but the characters in LL felt too real that I have no wish to reread it again even though the ending is gold) for such a jock unemployed loser!
Kat
I can totally see that, KT. This stuff with Hyun is worse than it is with Josh. She is totally innocent, and has no business getting involved in this. Kimmy’s need to keep and control Josh is just messing up everyone. If Hyun is as private and sensitive as I assume she is, something like could really destroy her. These chapters must be the hardest for you to write so far in this whole saga. I wonder what she’s going to feel like the next day, or soon when she realizes Kimmy’s really not into her at all. It’s just so rotten. She’s Sophie’s mom, and Kimmy supposedly loves that kid. She’s not even thinking about how this might mess up little Sophie’s life, except her generosity in not leaving the large dildo at the front door where Sophie might find it. WTF? That’s all Kimmy cares about…how it will affect her. Everyone else, even her little niece, is just collateral damage.
L_S87
Well, KT, if it's any solace, at least it makes you a good human being to struggle with the complete corruption and deception of what is ostensibly one of the most innocent and sweet characters you've written. As much as we push on Josh not deserving what's being done to him, holy hell, Hyun is in another league. Between that and finding a way to write the weird dichotomy of a Kimmy who loves but is despicably selfish is quite the achievement. I know a lot want to see her get her comeuppance, which she totally deserves, yet I'm conflicted. Any scenario involving that level of anguish means Josh and Hyun will be subjected to similar levels of agony. Something they don't particularly deserve. You've got your work cut out for you, KT!
L_S87
Good! I prefer the "original" as well. It wasn't happy, but it wasn't devastating. Basically playing with fire created some permanent scars, but no irreparable damage.
KT Morrison
I agree! It ended where it ended, and that Easter Egg was a fun experiment.
KT Morrison
@Kat "I feel so badly for Hyun. We don’t know much about her, but I’m guessing she is lonely, and not comfortable with coming out publicly, which adds to her loneliness. She can’t resist what Kimmy’s offering, and Kimmy knows that and is cruelly leading her on. Kimmy said to herself that she doesn’t have any real attraction to Hyun, or at least the kind that Hyun wants." — This is why these scenes have been so hard to write!
L_S87
I think Devlin is holding that as his trump card to get what he wants from Kimmy. "You stop having sex with me and I'll tell Josh *everything*". It's the one way I can see that Kimmy would allow herself to be bullied, because losing Josh isn't acceptable. While, yes, Devlin has told Josh some, and implied more, there are certain truths that he knows would kill Josh, and so does Kimmy. There's a world of difference between "We had sex at Cayman and made fun of you waiting" (awful as that truth is) and "Kimmy and I have lunch dates all the time, oh and she has a key to my apartment." Not sure if Devlin plays this kind of blackmail game or if things go to shit for another reason. Will be interesting to see.
Andrew Mellein
I did! But I believe KT said it was not official! Since it was not connected to the main story. KT, I think was experimenting with what happened to the main characters. I prefer ending of original book. I feel that ending was a masterpiece and don’t want to know what happened five or ten years to that family. No more sadness and trauma to that family (don’t want Tyler ever to come back; dead of steroid overdose🤣🤣)
L_S87
Andrew, you should read the novella KT has on her website that's a follow up to Learning Lessons. Might change your opinion on Jess and how she "truly" feels.
Andrew Mellein
Yes!!! Kimmy is my number one vile hotwife character KT has created. Due to her constant gaslighting lies and cheating on Josh since chapter 1 book 1. The other 3 vile hotwives would be 2. Kate from Cayman Proxy would be close number two she as she leaver her husband without telling him and begins torrid affair with Omar even after husband blackmails Omar into affair with her. Also lies to her husband about threesome (wants foursome with Omar). I still don't know who's worse but Kimmy lies constantly so she wins. Also Keely stoles the series away from Kate as I like her character better. Next would be 3. Jess from Learning Lessons, she would be number one but the others topped her. Also she sort of redeems herself at the end when she realizes her husband is the man who truly loves even when cares a loser jock bums baby. I hated she was ready to divorce her husband for a loser and destroy her family. However she started out all in with her husband with jock Tyler so she wasn't completely vile. And the last vile character would be 4. Ashley from the short novella Taken When He Watches on their Honeymoon. Ashley is only low on this list because she is young and really naive(Evil Charlie?). I never get that she loves her husband as she does not take his concerns into account when she has sex (gangbang) for money from a bunch of black musicians and ball players. Puts down her husbands little penis during sex with the men. Never apologies to her husband. Has kid not her husbands from encounter. If I was him I would run for the hills! She dose not love him. So that's my list, I still like the sexy stories of these characters. I just don't like these characters themselves. These opinions are my own!
Mike Monroe
Kimmy deserves a fall . She has gotten away with too much!! The pregnancy and now this thing with Hyun... Kimmy is the most vile character KT has created by far. KT has delivered on all she said this book would be and more. I can't stand her..but that is KT writing at its best all the emotions, angst and disgust. Kimmy Waters/Kimmy Chang is the absolute worst!
Andrew Mellein
I could see Devlin getting eventually tired of Kimmy and exposing everything to Josh through recording. Showing hes in control!
Andrew Mellein
Total crazy “Gone Girl” relationship🤣🤣
Kat
I feel so badly for Hyun. We don’t know much about her, but I’m guessing she is lonely, and not comfortable with coming out publicly, which adds to her loneliness. She can’t resist what Kimmy’s offering, and Kimmy knows that and is cruelly leading her on. Kimmy said to herself that she doesn’t have any real attraction to Hyun, or at least the kind that Hyun wants. “But she couldn’t defend herself, couldn’t blurt out some proclamation of honest attraction to Hyun. It wasn’t there, and the absence in face of Hyun’s suspicion made her feel hollow.” Sure she can lay there staring at the ceiling, enjoying the sensations of what Hyun is doing, but I don’t see Kimmy ever being in a long term relationship with Hyun or with a woman. She says this is her insurance policy in case Josh tries to cast her out. What I get from that isn’t that Kimmy wants someone else to partner with, but to use it as another way to control Josh via total humiliation, this time with his family. She told Hyun a lot of lies and embellishments about Josh and her marriage. She could threaten to tell Hyun more, like exposing Josh’s kink with her panties. What about how Josh was obsessed with touching the thigh that Devlin rubbed himself on? That would be something that would destroy Josh if it was made public. Who knows? Hyun is setting herself up here for a world of hurt, because we know Kimmy will never love her. Kimmy is so evil. She’s not only going to destroy Josh, but she’s going to destroy Hyun, as well. Where’s Devlin? Devlin is vile, but it would be awesome to see him somehow deliver the karma to Kimmy. She has to pay for her crimes sometime.
L_S87
This makes sense, if only because Kimmy has already contemplated several times using Hyun to do just that. Hyun wouldn't go for it, I'm sure, but it shows that Kimmy has those types of thoughts in her head, if she could find a willing victim. I don't know if Josh would willingly do this on his own if someone just came onto him. If Kimmy was there to guide it, or made it known she's okay with it, though? Only Kimmy knows the twisted inner workings of her mind, but I could easily see her making this happen to hold over his head to ensure he stays with her. Guilt trip him right into doing whatever she wants because now he's just as bad as she is.
Andrew Mellein
If I was Kimmy I would set Josh up with another woman as a sexual fling without him knowing. To take the guilt of what she did with Devlin and Hyun away. So she can turn her cheating back on him. I just don’t know if Josh would want that. But if Kimmys in a desperate enough situation it’s she would probably do.
L_S87
Yeah, that's the Kimmy conundrum. She does actually love him, which is why I figured her anger was due to guilt. She wouldn't be angry about him jerking off in the car. She likes that part of him. She said Josh is dark, and she LOVES that. It gives her license to be the same, it makes him her perfect foil because what she craves pairs well with what he does. In moderation. Something neither are good at practicing. Hence why we have Kimmy feeling guilty over her plans for the night. Horrible, despicable plans that Josh being there makes her doubt, yet her she is, going through with it anyway. Does she lay there and then stop Hyun, knowing it's wrong, or does she go through with it because it will be leverage to keep Josh until he's wrapped up too tight in her machinations to leave? Kimmy's past says she'll go through with it, I guess we'll find out next chapter. I feel so sorry for Hyun. She's smart enough to see what's happening and pull back, but not strong enough when Kimmy reengages and puts the moves on her to say no. And it's so easy to get. This is 50% of her dream, so she's grabbing what she can. And Kimmy gets basked in adoration with some physical affection that she probably feels like won't have any strings attached because she already told Hyun what this is, and isn't. Even though I know she hasn't thought about it, I feel like this is her golden parachute. Where if Josh does make it ugly by not caving to her twisted version of "fixing things", she at least has someone who still loves her to fall back on.
Andrew Mellein
I hope something finally breaks for Kimmy. It’s my favorite part in any adultry drama. When the shit hits the fan!
Andrew Mellein
KT writes hot sexy scenes that leave you feeling filthy inside well !! 🤣🤣
Kat
You were right! You said in the last chapter that you thought Kimmy felt guilty. I was really starting to believe that there wasn’t any shame or emotion left in her. I was glad to proven wrong. I still want to see her burn, though. She needs some serious comeuppance.
Kat
There was a moment there where I thought Hyun was going to bolt, and once again Kimmy talks herself out of it. I still don’t get how she thinks seducing her ex-sister/cousin in law is going to make Josh “whole and happy” and make them “repaired”. Kimmy is banking everything on Hyun being able to treat this evening as just something physical. Hyun seems very sensitive, and really into Kimmy. I know why Kimmy thinks this is a crucial part of her plan, but I don’t know how she’s going to juggle all these different schemes without getting burned, ex. screwing Devlin, being pregnant, tormenting and lying to Josh, and now screwing Hyun . Something has to break for her. Please let something break for her!
Andrew Mellein
I think Devlin lied, seduced and fucked his evil ways into Kimmy! Now that she had her cushy money making job, boy toy (Devlin), and perfect husband she eventually lied to herself she could have it all. She became the Devil Mrs. Waters! This chapter shows she has some form of a conscience (with the dildo and feeling guilt with Josh) however limited. If I was Josh after the encounter with Kimmy in the car I would say FU to her bullshit sexual mind games and to tell Kimmy to get out of are apartment and go make her crazy bed with Devlin or jump off a pier. But Josh is weak and whipped by Kimmy so fat chance that happens.🤣
L_S87
Its rather sad that Kimmy can be so forthright and truthful with Hyun yet struggles to show even a smidgen of the same to Josh when it really matters. Though it makes sense. Having Hyun reject her actions would sting, leave her hurt, but ultimately able to work through it with someone who would still probably be a close friend when its all said and done. Josh's rejection could and would have much heftier consequences, leaving her absolutely devastated. Her reaction to "fucking Josh" shows this. It's interesting that Josh showing up had such an impact on her emotions and plans for the night. Nipped that dildo action right in the bud, made her feel awful, as it should have. No matter how despicable she is, this shows that she does love him, even if she has an awful way of showing it. And yet... as I said about the last chapter, the ends justify the means, and as she discusses things with Hyun, you can practically feel the gears turning in her head as she slowly fades back to evil Kimmy, finding justifications for pursuing Hyun, drawing her in with just the right words, just the right mixture of truth and lies to salvage her plans for the evening. That last bit was very hot, KT, and yet leaves me feeling filthy inside for reading it. Kimmy finds herself enjoying it in a way she never thought she would, and she doesn't deserve that. Not after what she did to Josh outside. Not after everything she's done to Josh. The Salem witches didn't deserve to be burned at the stake, but this one here, on this night, she sure as hell does.
