Nyx Nyghtingale
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Rough Draft - Suddenly A Succubus Ch. 18
🕑 Added 2024-06-03 17:41:13 +0000 UTCMISSED CALL: Chloé
MISSED CALL: Chloé
Chloé: AMARA ARE YOU UP??
Chloé: SOMETHING CRAZY HAIRBRUSH
Chloé: AND I NEED YOU TO POST ABOUT IT!!
Chloé: HAPPENED*
MISSED CALL: Chloé
Chloé: Okay I couldn't wait
Chloé: I need you to look over the post I made
Chloé: Text me when you wake up!
Somehow, Amara had managed to sleep through Chloé’s barrage of notifications. After a split second of panic, she realized nothing was wrong and finally returned her friend's calls.
“Chloé? Hey, I’m up, what’s going on?” Amara yawned, still not entirely awake.
“Amara! Okay, so you know Connie? From the charity? Wait, shoot, I don’t think you two have met yet. You’d love her, she’s great! She’s always posting really pretty pictures of herself, I think she might have a fancy camera too?” Chloé was clearly excited, and was talking a mile a minute.
“Chloé…”
“Sorry, that’s not important. Anyways, so Connie has this friend that lives off campus, right? Connie is over there all the time, and honestly I think they’re dating but don’t want to say anything yet, ‘cuz she seems to spend the night pretty frequently.”
“Chloé!”
“Right, sorry. Sorry! So Connie, she spent last night with her friend, and she’s walking home this morning, when she sees that a huge chunk of the Palace has been cleaned up! Like, the remaining walls are down, a bunch of the bigger pieces are in the dumpster, it’s crazy! I had to call the dumpster people to schedule a pickup, and we technically haven’t even started yet!”
By the time Chloé had finished talking, Amara had already moved to the kitchen. Her tail was holding her phone, which left her hands free to start the coffee. “So, did anyone see who did this?” she asked nervously.
“That’s the weirdest part! No one saw anything, it must have happened in the dead of night. But, I mean, who would do that? We’ve already been advertising the scheduled clean-up hours, why would they do this in secret?”
Amara chuckled at the irony of the situation, wishing she could tell Chloé the truth. “Honestly? It might be better that we don’t know. If this stays a secret, there’s a good chance people will speculate about what really happened, which translates to a bunch of free publicity for your charity!”
“Ooooh, see, this is why I wanted to work with you on this! You understand all the marketing nonsense!” Chloé paused, her initial excitement having faded somewhat. “Are you able to check my post? I’m sure I didn’t use the right buzzwords or whatever.”
“Don’t worry, I’m sure you did fine. I’ll talk to you later, okay? I gotta start my day.”
The girls said their goodbyes and finally hung up, leaving Amara alone in her apartment once more. She took her time with the rest of her morning routine, getting dressed, doing her makeup, and eventually setting up her laptop on the kitchen counter. She curled her tail around her coffee mug, took a long sip, and got to work.
Opening her editing software, she plugged in the smaller of her cameras and watched the content slowly transfer. She was very familiar with editing photos, and while she’d done some video work in the past, it definitely wasn’t her specialty.
Thankfully, she didn’t need to do anything complicated with the video from yesterday. The meat of the footage was roughly in the middle, and it was quick work to remove the useless footage from the beginning and the end. Her biggest concern was to look for any accidental flashes of her demonic abilities. She wasn’t entirely sure what they might look like to an outside observer, and the rest of her morning was spent watching the video in its entirety, just to be safe.
It was a surreal experience; She was watching her very first sex tape, yet she wasn’t actually in it. She did her best to focus on the important parts, watching her eyes, looking for hints of hellfire, and she was pleasantly surprised when she found nothing. While watching it was making her incredibly horny, she knew she couldn’t afford to be distracted at the moment. Plus, Nick and Tessa were probably busy.
After uploading a copy to her phone, she began packing up the rest of the day’s classwork. Her thoughts lingered on Mr. Luxnor, on this strange cult he was a part of. What did they want? What was this all leading to?
She tried to think back to all the magic circles she’d been exploring with Tessa. While she didn’t understand the technical side of things, she wondered if there had been any other clues she might have missed. Right now, they knew about the one under Lysander Hall, the Cafeteria, the Science Building, and Brandt Hall. Many of them hidden in different ways, none of them exactly the same.
Unfortunately, her curiosity didn’t amount to anything. In the end, she simply didn’t understand the magic at play. Her strengths were more tactile, and she was hoping this lead with Mr. Luxnor would pan out.
Thinking back on all the circles, however, did bring up memories of Vee. If Amara hadn’t been investigating these circles with Tessa, she might never have left the house while shapeshifted. Would that have changed things? Derek would never have accused Vee of attacking him, but how did she know she didn’t scare him off in the process?
Of course, Vee probably could have taken him. At the time, I thought I might have indirectly helped her avoid an attack of her own, but she’s an Angel! She could probably take him out with both hands tied behind her back! I still have no idea how I didn’t lose that fight… am I really stronger than her? Is there more I’m not seeing?
Memories of Halloween began trickling into her thoughts. Flashes of pain, her body changing and warping, the house falling to pieces around them. The hatred in Vee’s eyes, the utter contempt for everything Amara was. Those same eyes, bloodied and tearstained, begging for mercy before—
Stay focused Amara. You can’t change the past, and you’ve already done so much to try and help.
She shook her head, grounding herself in the moment before her breathing started to settle. Pulling out her phone, she opened Vee’s contact and stared at it for a while, hoping she might manifest a response.
Predictably, nothing appeared.
Amara: I hope you’re planning on finishing the semester. I miss you.
She wiped a tear off her cheek, gathered the rest of her things, and left for class.
—
Amara was thrilled that her energy levels had returned to normal. While the new abilities had been fun to play with, and she was determined to explore those further, it hadn’t been enjoyable spending an entire evening bouncing off the walls. If nothing else, she was at least proud of everything she’d accomplished.
Every so often, she would hear students talking about the mystery of the Jade Palace. The event hadn’t necessarily gone viral, but there was a healthy amount of buzz that Amara appreciated. She’d simply been trying to burn off energy and atone for her actions, and she hadn’t even considered that she might be drumming up interest for the charity. With the official cleanup scheduled to start this weekend, she was hoping there would be a sizeable attendance.
Soon enough, the morning had come to a close, and that meant it was time for the next phase of her plan. She retraced her steps from yesterday, as Amara this time, and soon found herself standing outside Mr. Luxnor’s office. It was fortunate that he kept consistent office hours, and even luckier that the building was relatively quiet during them.
Still, she had to wait for a few minutes while the teacher finished helping another student. Amara sat outside while they talked, and she did her best to focus on what was happening inside. Thankfully, it seemed like nothing scandalous, though it struck her as odd that she was able to hear everything so clearly.
Has my hearing improved? I know my eyesight has, even apart from the night vision. Come to think of it, I was able to hear the teachers under Brandt hall even though Tessa was talking, and she didn’t notice anything until I pointed it out…
Her train of thought was derailed when the office door opened, and another student walked out. She didn’t recognize this one, but he said goodbye to the teacher before heading for the exit. Inside, she heard Mr. Luxnor shuffling some papers around, and she stood to enter the office.
Showtime, Amara.
The professor looked up as she entered, a warm smile crossing his face. “Hi there! Are you a student of mine? I must admit, I don’t recognize you.”
Amara closed the door behind her, refusing to acknowledge the question. As she fell into the chair opposite the teacher, she kicked her feet up on his desk and playfully leaned back. She rocked back on forth on the chair, the front legs no longer touching the ground, as she let her gaze wander through his office. Atop his desk sat a small plaque with the teacher’s full name, Professor Garrett Luxnor.
“I’d rather you kept your feet off my desk, if that’s alright. Can I help you?” he asked, growing frustrated.
She let a few moments pass as they continued looking at each other, then pulled out her phone. “I want to know about this cult of yours. What’s their plan?”
A mix of emotions appeared on Mr. Luxnor’s face, surprise the most obvious. “I think you have me confused with someone else, Miss. If you’re just here to make baseless accusations, perhaps you’d better leave.”
Amara didn’t justify his denial with a response. Instead, she turned her phone sideways, increased the volume, and hit play. Her voice, as Kylie, soon filled the office.
“Is there anything I can do to make it up? To show you how much this class means to me?”
Mr. Luxnor’s eyes went wide, darting to the phone. His breathing quickened, and he swallowed nervously. Another few seconds passed, and it became more than obvious what he was listening to. “Where… How did you get that?”
“Does it matter?” Amara asked. “I have it, and it’s backed up in multiple places. If you want this to stay private, you might want to start talking.”
The professor glared at her, but quickly yielded. “Fine. What do you want to know?”
“There’s a good boy.” Amara smirked, letting the video continue as she talked. “What’s the endgame? You’re tracking down all these magic circles, and making alterations, but why?”
“I don’t suppose you’re going to tell me how you learned all this?” he asked. When Amara didn’t say anything, he sighed and continued talking. “I don’t entirely know. He’s been vague about many of his plans. He’s given us all tiny bits of magic, and he’s promised a lot more if we help him.”
“Magic? What can you do?”
“Nothing flashy, mostly improvements to our bodies. I’m faster, stronger, and more alert. Supposedly he’s getting us ready for the main event, but again, he won’t say what it is.”
“And who is he? This mysterious cult leader that you’re stupid enough to follow?”
Mr. Luxnor laughed, a touch of ego coming through in his words. “You think I’m stupid? I’ve seen what he can do, how far he’s come. Mr. Wellington has proven time and time again that he’s not lying to us.”
Mr. Wellington? Seriously?
“So why fuck with the circles?” Amara asked.
“He says they’re in his way. They’ve sealed up the magic, and he can’t take what he needs until we weaken them. We’ve been at it for a while, though, and it’s too late to reverse anything. He’s going to start delivering on his promises next weekend, in fact.”
The sound from the video picked up, and Amara now heard muffled moans from when she’d been bent over the teacher’s desk. “When and where?”
“There’s a small complex under the quad, one of the original structures from the founding of the campus. The only way to reach it is through the elevator in Lysander Hall; There’s a secret button hidden by an illusion. We’re meeting at three in the morning, next Sunday.”
“How does Kylie fit into this? Human sacrifice? Part of the cult?” she asked, narrowing her eyes.
“I’m not a monster, though I don’t expect you to believe me. Kylie has nothing to do with this; She needed help with classwork, and one thing led to another. No one is being forced, we’re just two adults enjoying each other’s company.”
“Easy for you to say, you’re the one with all the control. I think it goes without saying that, if something happens to her, this video is front page news the very next day.”
“I happen to care for her, and frankly I’m insulted you think I’m capable of hurting her.” Mr. Luxnor protested. “Why do you even care about any of this? Who are you?”
Amara pulled her feet off the desk, letting the chair fall back to the floor before she stood up. She leaned forward, placing her phone down so it would be obvious how damning her video was. “I’m no one you want to get comfortable with. How do I know you’re telling the truth about Kylie? About the cult? You could be making up a bunch of nonsense just to placate me.”
Mr. Luxnor leaned forward himself, matching her stern glare. “Because it doesn’t matter. Somehow, you’ve stumbled into some magic knowledge, and you’re convinced you’re going to be the hero who takes down the big bad cult. I’ve seen students like you before, utterly convinced that you’re invincible, that you can change the world with a can-do attitude, but that’s not how this works. This is bigger than you, and if were smart, you’d drop this whole thing.”
“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” Amara moved away from the desk, turning off her phone and pocketing it to get ready to leave. “Do yourself a favor, and don’t go to this meeting next Sunday. If you do, the video leaks.”
Turning to leave, Amara moved the chair out of her way before reaching for the door. As it opened, however, the teacher behind her continued talking. “Threaten me all you want, but I’m not scared of you. I’ve seen what he’s capable of, and when I tell him some punk student is trying to disrupt his plans, I’ll be rewarded.”
Amara paused, the door partially ajar, her hand grasping the handle tight.
Fuck. I was hoping the blackmail would be enough, but he’s really all-in on this stupid cult. What else can I do?
Echoes of Tessa’s voice crept into her mind, and as much as she hated to admit it, her friend might have been right all along.
“If I had your powers, I’d only need 5 minutes alone with him and we’d get all the answers we wanted.”
“All you have are empty threats. You’re here because you care, and if you release that video, it’ll harm Kylie just as much as me. I don’t think you have it in you.”
Deciding it was time to commit to the bit again, Amara closed the door and started laughing. It started quietly, but she slowly let it overtake her body before she locked eyes with the professor again. “Oh, you stupid little human. You don’t think I have it in me? The blackmail was my attempt at doing this quietly, to give you a chance to realize your mistake.”
She stepped forward, leaning towards his desk as she locked eyes with him. He was still confident in his position, and she needed to fix that. Her eyes flared, and she urged her inner fire to get excited, to turn up the heat a little more literally.
“You get one tiny drip of magic and it all goes to your head,” she continued, “but do you know where magic comes from? None of it is yours, humans only get magic by stealing it.”
Wave after wave of heat poured out of her body, and before her eyes, sweat started appearing on Mr. Luxnor’s forehead. She knew she had to keep pushing, and with a small flurry of embers, she manifested her tail and sharpened its edge.
“Not me, though. My magic, my fire, it's alive. It's a part of me, and it's hungry. Care to guess what I feed it?”
The teacher swallowed nervously, pulling at the collar of his shirt. “W-what—”
In a flash, Amara's tail swung in front of her, and she cut off his words just as her tail embedded itself an inch into his desk.
“Souls, Garrett. Souls like yours.”
The teacher flinched at the tail, his gaze finally leaving her eyes as he started to figure out what she was. Another flash of fire, and her horns appeared, followed by a series of flames around Mr. Luxnor.
“Why do you think you're alive? You think it's because of a tiny man with a control fetish?” She pulled her tail free, then moved its blade towards his throat while she stepped closer. “Perhaps the goodness of my heart? No. You're alive because it's convenient for me. Because killing you would create more problems than it would solve.”
The teacher tried to push away from Amara, but he had nowhere else to go. “S-stop! I’ll scream!”
Amara grabbed his collar, pulling him close as she hissed in his ear. “I’m only going to say this once. If you make my life difficult, I’ll rip your soul out and throw you into the deepest pits of hell. You’ll spend eternity wishing I’d been kind enough to simply kill you.”
Pulling away from Mr. Luxnor, Amara shapeshifted back into Kylie. “I can be anyone I want, Garrett.” She shifted her appearance a few more times, cycling through other students she’d seen in his class. “If you ever have sex again, how will you know it isn’t me? Do you want to live the rest of your life looking over your shoulder?”
Despite his threats, the teacher stayed quiet as true panic began to set in. “Fine! Okay! I’ll quit the cult, I won’t tell anyone about you!”
Returning her form to her own, Amara finally pulled her bladed tail away from the professor, and snuffed the fire that had been floating around the room. “That wasn’t so hard, was it?” After one last flurry of embers, she dismissed her tail and her horns, then happily walked back to the door. “See you around, Professor.”
Conveniently, the hallway outside the professor’s office was still empty, and Amara began walking as quickly as she could to get away. She could still feel her faux cruelty sticking to her, and it made her intensely uncomfortable. Her plan had worked, more or less, but seeing Mr. Luxnor so utterly terrified her brought back painful memories of Halloween.
That’s not who you are. It was a little heavy-handed, but he’s leaving the cult! He’s safe now!
With a plethora of information, including a date and location, Amara pulled out her phone to schedule a meeting with Nick and Tessa. She needed to put together a plan for Sunday morning, and she would need all the help she could get.
In the mean time, as she continued to try and run from the cruel persona she’d just invented, she knew it was time to start gathering information on Sebastian Wellington. The most powerful man on the school’s Board of Directors, a self-made millionaire, and father to Derek Wellington.
She had a hell of a fight ahead of her.
—
That night, Tessa and Nick came over for dinner so they could discuss everything Amara had learned. She explained every detail as best she could, though Tessa was incredibly frustrated to learn that Mr. Luxnor didn’t know the full scope of the plan. No one was particularly surprised that Derek’s dad was behind everything; If anything, it made his meteoric rise to fortune seem a little too convenient.
“Alright, well, obviously I’m not crashing this meeting, and I don’t know anything about magic, but I’ll start looking into Mr. Wellington. I’m assuming he’s put a lot of money into curating his internet presence, but maybe I can find something helpful, even if it’s just an itinerary or something.” Nick said, already bookmarking sites on his phone.
“Tess, I’ll need you to reveal the secret button in the elevator at some point. Probably better if it’s not the night of the meeting, just so we don’t risk running into other cult members.” Amara said.
The witch was being unusually quiet, all things considered. She nodded absentmindedly before finally speaking up. “So you seriously had sex with Mr. Luxnor? And recorded the whole thing? Any chance I could get a copy of that?”
“No! I’m gonna delete it so it never accidentally leaks! Mr. Luxnor was completely right, I would never do that to Kylie.”
“C’mon, at least let me watch it once before it’s gone forever! A hot-for-teacher roleplay where the student is secretly a succubus? Nick, back me up here, doesn’t that sound hot as fuck?”
Nick was blushing profusely, and clearly didn’t want to be dragged into this conversation. “I think that it’s Amara’s video, and she’s entitled to do what she wants with it.”
“Ugh, you’re all such buzzkills.” Tessa rolled her eyes before continuing. “I’ll find your stupid secret button tomorrow night. Sure you don’t want me to come with to the meeting?”
“Absolutely. I’ll be in disguise, and you would blow my cover.” Amara said.
“So, I’m researching the leader, Tess is studying the circles and getting you into the meeting. What’s your plan?” Nick asked.
“Well, right now it’s just to gather intel. Maybe we’ll get lucky and Mr. Wellington will finally tell everyone what the goal is at this meeting,” she said. “I’ve been trying to prepare for things going wrong, but I honestly can’t think of how they might figure me out. I figure the biggest threat is Mr. Wellington; If he’s hoarding the cool magic for himself, who’s to say he won’t be able to detect me?”
Nick turned back to Tessa. “Is there magic that can do that?”
“There is, but a lot of witches don’t get it. Our bodies can only hold so many tattoos, so if you commit space to that kind of detection magic, you’re possibly losing out on some of the flashier stuff. Normally covens have one or two witches dedicated to scrying and detection, but they have the benefit of relying on a large group of magic users. Mr. Wellington seems to be keeping everyone in the dark, and I doubt he amassed his fortune by being able to detect if demons are nearby.”
“Y’know, speaking of covens,” Amara said, “do you have one? Could we ask them for help?”
Tessa locked eyes with Amara, her gaze unexpectedly hostile. “We’re on our own, Amara.” Her tone made it more than obvious that she wouldn’t elaborate, and Amara decided to yield and drop the idea.
So, I have no idea who her parents are, and no idea if she’s in a coven… It’s like the more I learn, the less I know her.
“Well, regarding the cult meeting, I’m pretty optimistic. I still have the element of surprise, and I can easily overpower a couple random humans if need be. Though, I definitely need to make sure I get laid right before the meeting.” Amara chuckled, amused by the thought that getting fucked was the most important part of taking down the cult.
“I call dibs!” Tessa said quickly. Nick looked at her, somewhat surprised, before she continued. “What? You’re getting her tonight, aren’t you?”
“Speaking of tonight, Tessa,” Amara interjected, “why don’t you head home? We’ve got nothing else to do tonight, and I want to make sure I’ve got enough time to try and practice dreamwalking.”
“Or, hear me out, I stay and join in the fun?” Tessa said, a glint in her eyes.
Amara had grown used to turning down her friend’s lewd suggestions, but when she opened her mouth to say no, Nick had beaten her to the punch. “As fun as I’m sure that would be, maybe another time? Things are pretty stressful at the moment.”
“Ugh, fine. Have fun holding hands from across the couch, or whatever it is you lame boy scouts do for fun.” Tessa grabbed her things and turned towards the door, but Amara interposed and demanded that everyone hug goodbye first. After saying their goodbyes, they let the witch head home before retiring to Amara’s bedroom.
"Did you seriously just turn down a threesome?" Amara asked, poking Nick in jest.
"Hey, I meant what I said. I'm pretty stressed, and I don't have your abilities or the confidence they bring you. I'm worried about what might happen with this cult, and that's not the mindset I want to be in for my first threesome."
"Typically Nick, always so rational, even when girls are lining up to suck you off..."
"There's no way Tessa would wait in a line for sex, and you know it." Nick said. The two of them laughed at the idea, both of them undressing for the coming activities.
After a brief conversation, both Nick and Amara agreed that they didn’t want anything fancy tonight. The sex was quick, perhaps even a little routine, as Amara simply needed to restore some of her strength to prepare for her dreamwalking experiment.
Nick took his shower first, after which he changed into his pajamas and collapsed into Amara’s bed. For her turn in the shower, she made sure to take her time. She needed Nick to be asleep for her first round of experiments, and she was pretty sure that after a quick fuck and a hot shower, he’d be asleep any minute. She let herself indulge in her fancy soaps and scrubs, and soon found herself reaching for her razor.
Wait. Do I need this anymore?
Amara paused, razor in one hand, and looked at the small hints of hair that had started growing back on her legs. She knew she had to try, and connected with her fire to begin the experiment. She already knew how to shapeshift, but she’d mostly been using it to completely change her appearance or manifest her strange exoskeleton. This time, she tried something small; She tried to envision her own legs, completely smooth, free of stubble, tiny cuts, or razor burn. A small flurry of embers traveled down her legs, and when she ran her hands over them, they were perfectly smooth.
Fucking. Jackpot!
She finished her shower quickly, ecstatic at this new discovery. All at once, the endless possibilities of her shapeshifting became apparent to her, though she refused to try anything tonight for fear of burning herself out.
Back in the bedroom, predictably, Nick has already fallen asleep. Amara moved quietly, trying not to wake him, and slowly sank to her knees next to the bed.
She had no idea what she was looking for, but it was time to try. She manifested her true form, and fully engaged her eyes before looking at Nick. She immediately noticed that her vision wasn’t quite at the level it had been after fucking Mr. Luxnor. The strange vibrations in the air weren’t present, but thankfully this meant she would actually be able to fall asleep tonight.
As she looked at Nick, nothing strange stood out to her. His aura was still incredibly vibrant, and she could smell the waves of post-sex euphoria coming off of him, but she didn’t see anything else. With no idea where to start, she found her thoughts drifting back to the dream where she’d floated up towards the sky. At the time, she’d seen a strange collection of muted colors, all traveling through a grayish-white void, and she wondered if that visual had been unique to her powers rather than Derek’s dream.
She reached out, carefully placing a finger on Nick’s temple. She tried to envision that same scene, hoping it could be used as a window into her friend’s dreams. When she didn’t see anything, she closed her eyes, trying to sync her breathing with his. She even connected with her fire, letting it fill her body as she tried to enhance her sense.
Unfortunately, regardless of what she tried, nothing worked.
Frustrated, she pulled her hand away from Nick and gave up. She crawled over him and buried herself under the covers, deciding it was time for her next idea. With any luck, she would find herself in Derek’s dream again soon.
—
Amara leaned in, pushing her lips against her girlfriend’s before eagerly grabbing her ass. The two made out for several minutes, slowly grinding against each other, before breaking apart. They whispered for a moment, planning to go somewhere more private to have some real fun, then got in the car. As the sounds of the party faded into nothing, she pulled onto the main street and floored it. Her car was top of the line, the best money could buy, and she loved showing off what it could do.
Wait, I don’t drive a Bentley.
Amara shook her head. Something wasn’t right here. She looked to her right, watching a gorgeous girl with black hair reapply her lipstick.
That’s… my girlfriend? No, I don’t have one. C’mon Amara, what’s happening?
Her hand reached out, grabbing the girl’s leg before daring to push higher. Bright red panties were visible beneath her short skirt, but Amara was looking at something else entirely.
These hands, they’re… not mine. They’re too big, too manly.
As the girl in the passenger seat slapped Amara’s hand, she finally understood what was happening. She watched a hand move away from the girl, instead grabbing a can of beer. Her own hand lingered, now completely separated from the person she’d previously thought she was.
Derek! I’m in his dream!
Recalling the last time she’d been shaken loose from Derek’s perspective, she tried to float through the car and into the sky. To her surprise, and absolute delight, her body responded exactly as she wanted it to. Within seconds, she was floating above the car as it raced through the countryside, inching dangerously close to the side of the road. Up ahead, she saw a sizeable river, and immediately remembered what was coming.
Okay, the goal is to gain control. What can I do? I need something small, to test my abilities.
Amara floated back into the car, unsure what to do. So far, it seemed like Derek wasn’t aware of her presence, and she certainly wanted it to stay that way, so she tried to turn herself invisible. As she waited in the back seat for the upcoming tragedy, she watched Derek turn to look at her, throwing his beer can onto the floor.
From her perspective, it appeared as if he’d looked right at her, but he didn’t seem to react at all.
Okay, good start. What if I try to make something?
The car started to shake, and Derek’s attention snapped back to the windshield. The car had left the road, but his attempts to hit the brakes were derailed by the car hitting a small ditch. The car smashed through the roadside barrier, and within seconds they’d crashed into the river.
She remembered what came next. Derek was going to recover from being stunned, open the door, and swim back to shore. Floating to the outside of the car once more, she focused on the area just outside the driver’s-side door. She pictured a small block of concrete, something she’d seen irresponsibly abandoned in rivers before, and tried to will it into existence. Before her eyes, just as she wanted, a tiny slab of concrete appeared on the river bed, complete with metal reinforcement bars sticking out.
At that moment, Derek came to inside the car. He tried to push the door open, and Amara watched as the block of concrete prevented him from doing so. His breathing quickened, and he continued trying to force the door open. With her experiment a success, she mentally pushed the slab of concrete further into the riverbed, giving Derek a chance to escape.
She watched as he frantically swam to swore, crawling to safety while Stephany sank beneath the water. It made Amara’s blood boil, but it also gave her an idea. Derek turned back to the car, screaming out his girlfriend’s name, but unable to dive back in and save her.
Reaching into his pocket, Derek pulled out his phone and began to call his father. Last time, the call had gone through successfully, but Amara had other plans this time. When someone picked up, it wasn’t Sebastian, but Stephany. Amara knew what she sounded like, and mimicked her voice while projecting it through the speaker.
“Derek? Please, help me! It’s so cold, I can’t see…” she said.
“Steph? How are you— can you get out?! Open the door!” Derek shouted, his panic more than obvious.
“I’m scared! I can’t breathe!”
“C’mon Steph, you can do this!” he continued shouting. At this time, Amara went silent, watching as he continued shouting her name into the phone. After another minute, when it was obvious that Derek was sufficiently terrified, static began to emanate from the phone speaker. It grew louder, and Stephany’s voice echoed through it, though it was heavily distorted.
“You killed me, Derek.”
“No! Please! I-I didn’t… I never wanted this!” Derek cried.
Amara cut off the phone line, killing the call as he fell to his knees. She floated under the surface of the river, and changed her form until she looked like Stephany. She recreated her outfit as best she could, but her makeup was running and her hair was soaking wet. Her eyes were empty voids, and her fingers had twisted into black, gnarled talons. When the transformation was complete, she leapt from the water and crawled towards Derek, who immediately screamed and tried to run away.
His efforts were in vain. Amara warped the sand he stood on, and each step he tried to take failed to find traction. Her clawed hands grabbed his ankles, and she began to pull him towards the water as she spoke once more, her voice still incredibly distorted despite not being filtered through a phone speaker.
“YOU KILLED ME, DEREK!”
Derek continued to struggle, to try and free himself from her grasp, but it was no use. Within seconds, Amara had pulled him under the river, and his strength began to wane as he tried to hold his breath. She began to wonder how far she should push this, if she possibly had any power to hurt people through their dreams, but just as Derek opened his mouth to finally breathe in, he vanished.
Amara now floated under the water, her gnarled hands holding nothing, and she quickly reverted back to her true form. She rose above the surface, and watched as the sky turned back into the strange, white-washed colorscape she’d seen previously. The dream around her began to vanish, piece by piece, all of it turning into sand before falling into nothingness. The river gave way to the same void she saw above her, and within seconds, the entire scene was gone.
She hovered, alone in this strange void, watching as streaks of color occasionally flew by in the distance. It was oddly peaceful here, and she couldn’t escape the feeling that she belonged here. Deciding to run one final test, she closed her eyes, pictured the sound of her rain app, and asked herself to wake up.
—
Amara opened her eyes, awake in the darkness of her bedroom. The transition had been shockingly smooth, almost natural. Beside her, Nick was still asleep, his chest rising and falling peacefully. Looking him over, she still couldn’t see hints of any dreams he might be having, but it didn’t frustrate her anymore. Even if she hadn’t mastered her control quite yet, she was still able to go on the offensive against Derek. Between him, the volunteer effort, and her plan to infiltrate the cult, she was in fairly high spirits.
You’re finally doing some good, Amara.
—
That's Chapter 18! I've been leading up to this for a while, so it's exciting to finally be here. My main questions resolve around Amara's confrontation with Mr. Luxnor and Derek. Do her actions feel suitably terrifying? I'm really trying to push the horror angle a bit here, but it's a little odd since we're effectively seeing a monster movie from the perspective of the monster. Does it make sense the Mr. Luxnor acts the way he does? Are Amara's actions suitably scary? Same with Derek in the dream.
This is also the first time I've kinda skipped over a sex scene, and I'm curious if that feels like the right call. I'm sure some people are more invested in the smut than others, and while I'd like to keep everyone happy, I just couldn't think of anything I wanted to do with the sex in this chapter. It felt a bit mechanical, so I simply pointed that out and moved on.
Otherwise, anything else you find, I'd love to hear about. Thanks in advance!
Nyx <3
Comments
Nyx Nyghtingale
I'm constantly messing around with new ideas, often in the way I structure chapters or relay certain information. Sometimes the only way to know if something works is to commit to it, then reflect on that choice months later and see how I feel about it XD I'm not super worried about Chapter length, though if I were, I would certainly want to err on the side of longer rather than shorter. I completely agree with your point about making sure the sex scene feels worth the effort, and that's actually why I omitted the scene in the first draft. Lastly, I'm thrilled you enjoyed all of Amara's posturing. Those were really fun scenes to write!
Dadhiker
I get your point about typos. Expressing over-excitement in a character without making the character look ridiculous is tricky, and trying to do this through a text message is challenging. (I find expressing tone and emotion through texting to be challenging in general, you're brave to do that n your story. Sarcasm in particular almost always leads to disastrous results opposite to its original intentions.). Your follow-up conversation reinforces your text-typo intention. I understand your waffling about inserting a sex-scene here. Personally, I think the chapter reads well just the way it is, but if you feel the need to spice it up, a sex scene is the way to go (it is the advantage and disadvantage of having a succubus as your main character). If you do add a sex scene, it will need to be descriptive enough to be worth the effort, but that will also make the chapter considerably longer than your other chapters. Before I forget, I agree with Roses that your scenes with Derek and Luxnor that Amara looks sufficiently terrifying. It left me wondering about the absorbing souls bit. Can she really do that? Is it a bluff? What if someone calls the bluff? If it's not a bluff, what would that feel like and what would that do to Amara's personality? (Those are rhetorical questions intended to applaud you for the added suspense in the use of that terror on Luxnor).
Nyx Nyghtingale
Thanks for the correction! Every little bit helps :) Regrading Nick, I completely understand where you're coming from. When I began plotting out the series, I purposely tried to start small and keep the focus squarely on Amara. The intention is to slowly widen the series to give us more depth on her friends, but I haven't quite hit that point yet. Nick, Tessa, Vee, and Chloé are all going to be getting more time in the spotlight in future installments, which is part of the reason we don't see their POV much in the early books. I'll admit, I've been waffling back and forth about whether to include a sex scene here. Honestly, the biggest reason was that I couldn't think of something that fit (pun intended), but recently I thought of something that I think would be fun. I'm planning on editing this chapter a little more than usual, with the intent of adding that scene in. On the topic of threesomes, let's just say that I want to start teasing people :P The autocorrect typos are something I'm doing to try and give insight into Chloé. I've always viewed texting as a fantastic way of portraying character information, and it's something I've tried to be consistent with in SaS. Amara's texts have no errors, are fully punctuated, while Tessa's are filled with typos and she obviously doesn't care. With Chloé, I'm hoping to portray that she's someone who does care about those details, but that her excitement can briefly overpower that desire for accuracy. In my head, it comes across as a character beat, but since I'm not a reader, I can't say if it comes across that way.
Dadhiker
AFanofRoses caught a lot more errors than I did. The only one she missed was "mean time" at the end of the Luxnor scene. Like the old joke about harass, it's just one word. About Nick, he's still a mystery to me. Certainly a devoted friend, but he's shown some restraint throughout the series and it incredibly astute when it comes to thinking about and helping to develop Amara's powers. He's also a bridge of sorts between Vee and Amara. I get the impression that there's a lot more to Nick that what you've revealed so far. (If that's not the case, then you might be missing a big opportunity with him.) That brings me back to the missed threesome. You've moved quickly into the dreamscape/dreamwalking scene, which I felt was one of the critical objectives of the chapter. I think it works as you've written it, but you might get some criticism in the Lit site for omitting the salacious details. If you're okay with that, then keep it the way it is (but you might want to include the "missed three-way" in a future chapter.) One other consideration: the spell check /autocorrect typos. I get the realism (I've had my comments autocorrected twice in this commentary). But it really doesn't add much to the story. If you're going to glide over the sex scene, why do you need to include the autocorrect? One of the many things I've enjoyed about your writing are those little details, such as the burnt popcorn and the security deposit on the apartment. Those examples highlight the changes in Amara and her awkwardness in adapting to them. I'm just not sure the autocorrect adds anything in this chapter.
Nyx Nyghtingale
These are all excellent points, and I agree with all of them! You never have to apologize for pointing these out, it's such a big help. I'll be sure to make these changes in the full release :) Regarding Nick, I'll be sure to have a talk with him and set him straight. Clearly there are dark forces at work, trying to prevent him from having too much fun. I'm also glad you're enjoying the push and pull between Amara's natures! She certainly seems to keep running into situations that are fixed be leaning into her cruelty, doesn't it? Let's hope she can find a way to strike that balance :P
AFanofRoses
Another great chapter! To address your questions, I think the scenes with Mr. Luxnor and Derek are fantastic. The one with Derek is straight-up a nightmare, which is certainly deserved. Very terrifying stuff. It's also really . . . cool? Funny? To see Amara lean into the whole demon angle with Mr. Luxnor. Maybe she should ask Chloé about Succubi to get some more information about them so her future threats can be even more targeted. I think she did a great job on her own, though. On an unrelated note, I noticed how Mr. Luxnor never gave Mr. Wellington's first name. Perhaps he meant a different, younger Mr. Wellington? You heard it here first, folks. I am the greatest sleuth of this generation! (sarcastic) Sorry to point out your flaws, but I found a few grammatical errors in this chapter. [ . . . This is bigger than you, and if were smart, you’d drop this whole thing.”] If who was smart? Me? [She watched as he frantically swam to swore, crawling to safety . . .] To swear at whom? Me? How's he going to do that when I'm safe and sound on the shore? Several times, you capitalized the first word after a semicolon. While it doesn't interrupt the story for me at all, I should point out that the procedure taught in classrooms is to not capitalize after them. [when she opened her mouth to say no, Nick had beaten her to the punch. “As fun as I’m sure that would be, maybe another time? Things are pretty stressful at the moment.”] I'm glad I caught this one. It must be a mistake. No guy would ever decline a threesome. I also have some very strong feelings on the passage that this line came from: [She could still feel her faux cruelty sticking to her, and it made her intensely uncomfortable.] I'm so grateful for this! While I strongly encourage you to take this series in any direction that you see fit, I appreciate that Amara has kept her sense of right and wrong. It feels like she's doing her best to navigate a difficult situation.
