Nyx Nyghtingale
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Rough Draft - Suddenly A Succubus Ch. 22
🕑 Added 2024-07-29 17:00:10 +0000 UTCThe elevator ride took ages. Amara’s heart was racing the entire time, and she was terrified the cult might have a way to stop the elevator or call it back. There was also the demon; what could it do? Could it race up the elevator shaft and break in? Was she ready to fight another demon?
Thankfully, by the time she landed on the ground floor of Lysander Hall, there had been no disruptions to her escape. She quickly broke into a sprint, leaving the building and rushing to her designated meeting spot with Tessa. After a few minutes of heavy sprinting, during which she shapeshifted into Nick to avoid any suspicion, she finally found her friend.
“Tessa!” Amara said, panting.
“Nick?” Tessa looked up, momentarily surprised, then paused to narrow her eyes. “No, wait, Amara?”
“Yes, Amara! I just left the stupid cult meeting, and it’s bad, Tessa. They’re not just summoning one demon; they’re bringing over dozens!”
“Well… fuck.”
“C’mon, let’s get back to my place so we can chat with Nick. We need to figure out what our next step is, and he’s way better at that than I am.”
Tessa nodded, pocketing her phone before starting the walk back to Amara’s place. The two girls walked in silence for a while, which Amara found odd, but every time she looked at Tessa, the witch was deep in thought. They had crossed half the campus before she finally spoke up again.
“How do I know you’re really you? That another demon isn’t disguised as Nick, pretending to be you?”
“C’mon Tessa, what kind of… actually, you know what? I take it back, that’s a really good question. Well, you love that thing I do with my tail, you’re the first person to fuck my ass, and— Oh! My fire!” Amara lit her hands on fire, focusing to increase its intensity. As she did, the flames turned purple, and she gave an expectant look at Tessa.
“Alright, I’m convinced. Still, put that fire out before someone thinks Nick is an arsonist.” Tessa smirked, then went silent again for a moment before continuing her train of thought. “We should have a code word. A shorthand we can ask each other to confirm our identities.”
“Like what? Favorite candy? First partner?” Amara asked.
“Ideally something a little more abstract, so a potential doppelganger can’t get it right on a guess. Though, it also shouldn’t be too obvious that it’s a probing question… hm.” The witch paused again. “What’s for dinner tonight?”
“What? Tess, we already ate.” After a look from Tessa, Amara pieced together what her friend meant. “Ohh, I see. That won’t get confusing?”
“I mean, it would be pretty easy to find other ways to talk about food.”
“Good point. Hm. How about hand-seared chicken?” Amara smirked, a few flames subtly dancing across her palm.
Tessa chuckled before continuing. “Good one. I’ll say lentil soup.”
“Short, but to the point, I like it. Do you actually—”
“I fucking hate lentil soup.” Tessa said. The girls laughed again, and soon enough found themselves back at Amara’s apartment. Tessa had texted Nick ahead of time, so the door was open by the time they arrived.
Over the course of the next half hour, Amara explained everything she saw at the ritual. She did her best to describe all the people, the design of the magic circle, and the surprise appearance of Brandon. She explained Mr. Wellington’s goals, as well as the music teacher that became a vessel for a demon. She ended with the cult leader’s promise that his own ascension would happen in one week’s time, which sent chills through her two friends.
“A week?!” Tessa said. “How are we supposed to stop this in less than a week?!”
“Alright, I’m going to ask the stupid question here.” Nick started. “Why can’t we call the cops? If we leave out the magic stuff, we could simply say they’re holding people hostage. Maybe Amara poses as someone that escaped.”
“Nick, I know you’re new to all this, so I’ll try to be nice; cops and magic do not mix well.” Tessa continued. “On a broad scale, we don’t want large institutions learning about magic, and often witches put in serious effort to keep everything hidden from cops and the government. On a smaller scale? We already know that Mr. Wellington has paid off cops in the past, and what if these demons can jump hosts? Suddenly they’re armed with guns, body armor, and all sorts of nonsense.”
“Okay, fine, I was just asking.” Nick raised his hands in defeat.
“Let’s focus on what we know.” Amara said, interjecting. “We’ve completely lost the element of surprise; demons can sniff each other out, and Brandon will have already shared that I’m a succubus and you’re a witch. My presence at this meeting also means they know we’re trying to stop them. What is our actual goal here?”
“We have to shut down the portal.” Tessa said. “I’ve gotten pretty good at reading the signatures of these circles, and I think I could reverse the changes they made if I had enough time.”
“Time is gonna be pretty hard to get. There’s no way they let us waltz in there and spend a few hours studying the damn thing. Can you fight at all?” Amara asked.
“Sure, I can fight, but there’s a big difference between getting in random scrapes as a kid and fighting actual demons. My telekinesis won’t be able to affect them directly, and if I were forced to defend myself, I have a knife.” The tattoos on Tessa’s head began to glow, and her switchblade floated out of her bag. It opened on its own, then ominously made a few pretend stabs at the air in front of her. “Realistically? I’m batting way outside my league here. Even if I were stronger, or had better magic, I can’t fight if I’m focusing on reverse engineering the circle.”
“So, I’d have to keep you safe the whole time.” Amara sighed. The task in front of them seemed nigh impossible. “I don’t know if I can keep you safe that long, especially against a whole army. I have no idea how strong they are, or if they’re resistant to fire like I am. Plus, what if the people are still alive somewhere inside? The thought of turning into a killer, I… I don’t think I can handle that.”
“They’re asking for it! They’re turning over their souls to this stupid cult, and they’re doing it happily. Killing them is the kindest thing you can do!”
“But they’re people! Living, breathing, people that are trying to find their place in the world!” Amara briefly flashed back to her actions on Halloween, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. “They deserve a second chance. Everyone does.”
“News flash, Amara, but they don’t give a fuck about you! If you hesitate, even for a moment, they will kill you. Or worse, they’ll force you into slavery, just like Brandon tried to do! Have you forgotten that he’s in this cult now? Does he deserve a second chance after everything he’s done?”
“I’m not a killer, Tessa.” Amara locked eyes with Tessa, and doubt crept into her voice. “But… I’m willing to defend myself. If they force my hand… I don’t know.”
Nick, having been silent for most of this argument, cleared his throat. “Look, things are a little tense, let’s all take a moment and breathe, okay? A week is better than nothing, and presumably these people still have to go to school. Amara, you saw a few dozen people, and most of them were teachers. There’s no way Mr. Wellington can cancel that many classes for a whole week.”
“You think demons are gonna wander around campus and teach music theory?” Tessa asked, her voice full of sarcasm.
“Look, I don’t know how any of this works, but it would make sense for the demons to have access to the memories of their hosts, right? We can keep tabs on some of the teachers Amara saw, and if they’re still teaching during the week, maybe that means you two will have a window of opportunity sometime during the day.”
Amara thought to herself for a moment, mulling over Nick’s idea. “That’s a pretty decent plan. We can track their movements, look up their schedules, and see if we can find a time where most of them are busy.”
“Plus, that gives me something to do.” Nick said. “I’m more than happy to do some social media research while you two handle the fighting and the magic.”
“While we’re killing time throughout the week,” Tessa looked at Amara, “should we up how much we’re fucking?”
“That’s what you’re worried about?” Amara said, a deadpan look on her face.
“It’s a serious question! You get stronger when you fuck, like when you hooked up with Mr. Luxnor and were suddenly able to see Wi-Fi! How do we know that lots of extra sex, or sex with new people, doesn’t unlock more abilities?”
“I didn’t gain anything new after you and I started fucking,” Amara pointed out. “Plus, Nick and I have slept together dozens of times, and my abilities always seem to show up randomly. I doubt there’s a lifehack to speeding up this transformation, and we don’t even know if there are more changes coming. For all we know, this is the end of the road.”
“But we should at least try, right? Obviously I’m willing, but I know for a fact my partners think you’re hot. You also just sold a bunch of slutty photos, I’ll bet half the campus is dreaming of hooking up with you at this point.”
“Excuse me, they were sultry and suggestive, not slutty.” Amara said, defending her photography skills.
“Oh, whatever, you know what I mean. We just… we need something more, something to give us an edge.”
Amara went quiet for a moment, thinking to herself. She didn’t like the idea of trying to force additional transformations, but she knew Tessa was right. As things stood, their chances of successfully stopping the cult seemed pretty slim. She supposed she could try to get in more fighting practice, but the strength difference between her and Nick would make that difficult.
Suddenly, another answer presented itself. She felt silly for not thinking of it earlier, and she knew Tessa wasn’t going to like it. “Tess, there’s too much at stake for us to play it safe. I think we need help.”
“I’m not disagreeing, but there’s no one to ask! What, do you want to give Nick a gun and hope for the best? I told you before, we’re on our own.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. We just need someone who already knows about magic, won’t spill our secrets, and perhaps, I don’t know, has years of experience training to fight demons?”
Tessa glared at Amara. “No. Absolutely not, never in a million years.”
“It’s literally her life’s purpose! She probably knows more about them than both of us combined!”
“She tried to kill you! Does that mean nothing?!”
“She was confused! She thought I was framing her, purposely manipulating everyone to turn against her! And she was the most upset about the fact that I lied, that I kept my identity to myself. This is our chance to reach out, to give her the chance we should have last time!”
“Look, I get you’re upset with me for telling you to stay quiet. We didn’t even know she was an angel back then, and that makes it so much worse! The church is filled with pompous, egotistical maniacs who are convinced they’re the only ones that can do the right thing. If we invite Vee into this, how do you know she won’t backstab you the instant she gets a chance?”
Both girls were yelling now, and Nick had quietly backed into a corner to avoid getting dragged into the argument. With a deep breath, Amara closed her eyes and quieted her voice. “Tessa, this wasn’t a question. Tomorrow, after classes, I’m going to Vee’s and I’m telling her everything. End of story.”
“You need me to stop the cult, Amara. I’m the only one that can reverse engineer the circle.” The witch’s voice was quiet, but intense. The hints of her threat were obvious.
“So what’s more important, Tess? Do you care more about stopping this cult, or shutting Vee out of your life?” When Tessa didn’t answer, Amara moved closer and softly grabbed the witch’s arms. “Look, this is bigger than both of us. I’m asking you to trust me, just this once. If I’m wrong, well, I already know I can beat Vee in a fight. But… I have to do this, Tess. I have to try.”
Tessa stared at the ground, refusing to meet Amara’s gaze. “…How can you trust her? After what she tried to do to you?”
“I’ve been friends with her since college started, Tess, and so have you. Do you think that whole year was a lie? That everything we did together meant nothing?”
Without saying anything, Tessa shoved her face in Amara’s shoulder and wrapped her arms around her. As they hugged, Amara briefly locked eyes with Nick and smiled. When the witch finally pulled back, Amara couldn’t help but notice that tears had pooled near her eyes. “So, what, are you going to make me tell Chloé next?”
“Hey, I understand that you know more about this whole ‘world of magic’ thing than I do. How about we keep everything a secret, but if someone gets involved, even a little, we tell them everything.”
“…I guess that’s fine.” Tessa mumbled. “Thanks for… I dunno. Talking me down. I’m not used to working with other people like this. It’s weird.”
Amara smiled, then leaned in to plant a quick kiss on Tessa’s lips. “We all want the same thing, right? I’m just glad I didn’t have to invoke… the nuclear option.”
“The what?” Tessa asked.
“Oh, you know… withholding sex until you agree with me.”
“You wouldn’t dare! You monster!”
With a devious smirk, Amara wrapped her arms around Tessa and picked her up. Both girls started laughing, the witch playfully struggling to try and escape. “C’mon, it’s like four in the morning, and I’m exhausted. Tell your partners you’re spending the night here; I’m not letting you walk home after that stupid cult meeting. Nick, you cool taking the couch?”
Nick nodded, clearly relieved that the fight had resolved itself. “Perfectly fine by me. Glad we all agree on a plan.”
After everyone had plugged in their phones and set their alarms, they settled in to go to sleep. For the first time, Amara and Tessa spent the night together, wrapped up in each other’s arms.
—
The next day was officially Vee’s first day of classes. She’d been absent for a few weeks, but thankfully it was easy to share only half of the real story. She had, truthfully, gotten hurt in the fire, and needed to take time to recover. Dozens of friends and casual acquaintances eagerly chatted her up, talking about Derek’s confession and asking how she was doing. Some of them tried to ignore the giant scars on her face, others couldn’t resist the urge to try and convince her how much cooler she looked.
She did her best to bury her face in her books, talking with her professors about all the work she’d missed, and most of her teachers were more than happy to give her time to make up all her assignments. The one exception was her music theory teacher, who was normally an incredibly delightful person; he seemed exceptionally rude today, and she couldn’t figure out why.
Vee managed to catch Chloé during their lunch hour and did her best to explain why things were so awkward right now; she hated the thought of Chloé getting caught in the crossfire of her fight with Amara. Vee stressed that she needed time to adjust, and hopefully things could go back to normal soon. She had no idea how truthful her own words were, sadly, as she had no idea what she wanted to happen. Her first goal had been to return to school, but that was done now. What was she supposed to do next?
She was currently ignoring the problem, sitting on her couch while organizing her homework. Her apartment had been cleaned to the best of her ability, and most of the traces of her holy crusade had been disposed of. The only thing that remained were her wards, meant to keep her safe should any demons decide to invade. She didn’t feel comfortable taking them down quite yet. Besides, they were defensive, right? They would only activate if Amara decided to attack.
Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. She hadn’t been expecting anyone, but with everyone on campus throwing a pity party for her at the moment, she could think of a few dozen people it might be. She was incredibly shocked, then, to find Tessa and Amara waiting on her doorstep.
“I… what do you want?” Vee snapped. She was not ready to have this conversation.
“Hey Vee, I’m… I’m glad your back!” Amara said. She seemed nervous, and Vee couldn’t help but suspect that this was more than a casual visit.
“…No thanks to you. Looking for more people to enthrall? Or do you need more hot co-eds for your next porn shoot?”
Amara winced; it was obvious how much Vee’s words had stung.
Why did I say that?
“N-no, I just—” Amara started, but Tessa cut her off.
“We need your help, Vee. There’s something bad happening on campus, and we’re trying to stop it, but we can’t do it alone,” Tessa said.
Vee bit her lip, her body full of tension as she tried to figure out what was happening. “Why come to me? Why should I trust either of you?”
“Hey, we could say the same about you, but we’re at least making an effort to reach out!” Tessa said. She was clearly upset, but Vee also noticed that the argument was making Amara uncomfortable.
With a heavy sigh, Vee kicked open her door and gestured the two inside. “Alright, fine, just get in here.”
Tessa walked through first, though not without a heavy glare directed at Vee. Amara, on the other hand, had started smiling as she approached the door. When her body attempted to cross the threshold, however, the Enochian wards activated. Powerful, angelic energy surged through Amara, and she winced in pain before getting thrown back into the hallway.
Shit, the wards! C’mon Vee, get your act together!
Before Vee could respond, Tessa had grabbed her shirt and shoved her against her front door. “Vee, what the fuck?”
“I-I’m sorry! I forgot about my wards!”
“Yeah, likely fucking story.” Tessa hissed. She let Vee go, running to Amara’s side to help her up.
“Can we just talk about this here? How bad can it be?” Vee asked.
Amara glared up at her, her face still twisted in pain as she fought to regain her breath. “No, I get it. Tess, you go inside and talk with Vee. I’ll just stay out here and keep watch.”
“Ugh, fine, but you scream if something attacks, okay?” With Amara now standing, and seemingly recovered, Tessa turned to Vee and grabbed her arm. “You, me, inside. We have a lot to talk about.”
If something attacks? What the fuck have they gotten into?
The door closed behind them, and now Vee and Tessa stood alone in the entryway. Vee started talking, still unsure what was happening. “Look, Tess, I’m sorry about the—”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Tessa said, interrupted her. “Even setting aside everything you’ve done, now you’re attacking Amara’s photography? We both know how much that means to her! And I know, for a fact, that you don’t have a problem with sex work. We have friends that run OnlyFans accounts! I’ve been in their videos! Are you gonna try to kill me next?”
“This isn't about that! I just… I don’t know what’s happening!”
“Which is why we’re here, but apparently you’re still out for blood!” Tessa began pacing back and forth, her anger more than apparent. “That poor girl has been beating herself up for weeks, trying desperately to make up for what happened on Halloween, and you can’t even spare the time to talk with her?”
Is that what she’s doing? Trying to make amends by fixing the Palace and raising all that money?
Vee stood still, doing her best to process everything, but she still didn’t know what to say. Before she could think of anything, Tessa continued talking.
“Ugh, I can’t believe she forced me to come here. For the record, I don’t think we can trust you. You’re lucky Amara’s a better person than I am.”
“Wait, she forced you here? Tessa, I know I’ve made mistakes, but she’s a demon! Can you honestly say that she’s in the right, using violence to get what she wants?”
“What?” Tessa asked. “No, not violence. She just threatened to stop sleeping with me.”
Surprise crossed Vee’s face, and she stepped closer to Tessa. “First Nick, but now you? Tessa, this is what succubi do; they use sex to enthrall people, and you start losing track of what’s right and wrong. In the end, you belong to her, body and soul. How do you know you’re being objective here?”
“Because there’s a fucking cult! They broke the planar seals on campus, and they’re summoning a demon army! That’s why Amara wants your help, Vee, because we’re trying to stop this!”
“Oh, someone’s trying to summon a demon? Why should I care? How about I go greet them with open arms! Heck, maybe I’ll start fucking them, since apparently it doesn’t matter!” Vee jabbed a finger to Tessa’s chest, her words quiet and furious. “Don’t you dare try to convince me that demons are a threat to this campus, while also being mad that I tried to stop one on Halloween.”
“She’s your friend, Vee, and you stabbed her in the back! You try to banish her to Hell, then you try to kill her, and you’re mad she defended herself?!”
“You call this self-defense?” Vee pointed to the scars on her face. “I tried to run from that fight, but she wouldn’t let me. She held me down, beat me within an inch of my life, and I’m supposed to pretend that everything’s fine?”
“She’s not asking you to pretend like nothing happened, Vee. She just wants to talk, she wants a chance to fix things.” Tessa, surprisingly, calmed down slightly. Vee suspected her two friends had talked extensively about what to say, as this level-headed behavior was quite unusual from Tessa.
“Yet, conveniently, she couldn’t do that before? When it mattered most, when I was breaking down in her arms, she lied to me.”
“Yeah? And when were you planning on telling us you were an angel?”
“I… that's different.” Vee had been caught off guard, and took a step back.
Is it?
“Why? Because you're better than us?”
“N-no, that's not what I—”
“But you were thinking it, weren't you? I’ve met people like you before, Vee. Nothing is more important than God’s plan, and you’ll trample over everyone you don’t agree with to carry out His will. We couldn’t possibly understand what it’s like to be as special as you.”
“Wait, you’ve met… right, because you’re a witch.”
“I am! You want to say something about that too? C’mon, I’m ready for it, lay it on me. Am I an affront to nature? A blemish on the face of humanity?”
Vee stammered, unsure what to say. Tessa was right, the church loved to paint witches as lost souls, eager to trade their humanity for power, but Vee had never met one before. It was clear Tessa was speaking from experience, the words she used sounded all too familiar.
Tessa collapsed on the couch, burying her face in her hands before sighing heavily. “You want to know why I’m here? Honestly?”
Silence filled the air, and the girls briefly looked at each other before Tessa continued. “I’m here for Amara. I don’t think we can trust you, but… she’s miserable, Vee. She won’t stop beating herself up for what she did, and I think she’s too nervous to tell you everything she’s done to try and fix things. For fuck’s sake, she even got Derek to confess!”
That was her? That means his apology wasn’t genuine… How do I know she didn’t just enthrall him, then throw him under the bus to try and win me over?
“That’s… I didn’t know that.” Vee muttered.
“And you know what else? Every time we argue, every time she’s defending your actions, she always says you were most upset about the lying, but that wasn’t even her fault! She was ready to tell you everything but… I talked her out of it. If you want to be mad at anyone, be mad at me.”
Vee’s eyes were wide, shocked at what she was hearing. Was Tessa really telling the truth? If she were, it would change everything, but this could easily be another trap. Vee walked closer, sitting across from Tessa before speaking. “Tess… I’ve studied demons my whole life. My divine purpose is to hunt them down, to protect mankind from them. Yes, they’re strong, they can burn down buildings and need to eat souls to survive, but that’s not the worst of it. Their biggest tool, the oldest trick in the book, is making themselves look sympathetic. They play the victim, convince you how misunderstood they are, and they prey on our desire to help. The only way to resist them, the strongest defense we have, is to never listen to them, never give them the chance to start spinning their lies. The instant you start to doubt, they’ve already won.”
“You realize how fascist that sounds, right?” Tessa said.
“This is bigger than that, Tess! We have thousands of examples, all throughout history, of people consorting with demons and losing everything! Now you come to my door, you ask for my help, but how can I trust you? How do I know she isn’t using you as a pawn in some bigger scheme?”
“What bigger scheme? If she wanted you dead, she would have killed you on Halloween!”
“Just… look at this from my point of view, alright? You’re telling me a cult is summoning demons, and Amara just happens to turn into a succubus right around the same time. Am I supposed to believe that’s a coincidence?”
Tessa glared at Vee, hatred in her eyes. “She didn’t even know about the cult, or the magic circles they’re disrupting, until I told her about them. Plus, she can’t be the mastermind, because Derek’s dad is. All his wealth, all his power? He made a deal with something, and now he’s fulfilling his end of the bargain.”
“Have you seen this? With your own eyes?”
“Well… no, Amara interrogated Mr. Luxnor, and she was the one that infiltrated the cult meeting yesterday…”
“So you have no proof! How can you expect me to go along with this?”
With a huff, Tessa stood up and started towards the door. “This is stupid. I knew you weren’t going to help us, I shouldn’t have bothered.”
“Wait!” Vee reached out, grabbing Tessa’s arm. “Just…. give me something, a reason to trust her. Why should I believe that she’s different?”
I want to trust her, Tessa, but… I don’t know how to.
Tessa paused, eventually pulling her hand back from Vee. “You’ve been friends with her since college started. Do you think that whole year was a lie? That everything you did together meant nothing? She didn’t even know she was a succubus until we took her to that party. If you want proof… go talk to Nick. He was there when this all started.”
A few seconds passed, and Vee was unsure what to say. She thought back to her first year of college, to all the time she spent with Amara. They’d spent countless nights talking about school, crushes, and hundreds of other pointless things. She’d always valued her friendship with Amara, it had felt so genuine, but she was also hiding who she was. How could she be mad at Amara when she’d hidden her angelic heritage from everyone?
Vee walked to the door, slowly opening it for Tessa. When she looked into the hallway, she didn’t see Amara, but a quick glance revealed she was waiting at the end of the hallway. When she saw Vee, she quickly jogged back.
“Vee! Are you… going to help us?” Amara asked nervously.
With a heavy sigh, Vee answered. “I’ll help, on one condition.”
“Yes! Anything!”
“Just before we fought, I had a large book with me. It’s filled with Enochian texts, and it’s an incredibly powerful angelic artifact. If what Tessa told me is true, we’re going to need every advantage we can get, which means I need that book. It would have been in the house when it burned down, and I haven’t had the time to look for it yet. You give that back, and I’ll help you stop this cult.”
Tessa pushed past Vee, rolling her eyes in contempt. “Right, the book that lets you banish Amara. How fucking convenient.”
“Tessa!” Amara slapped Tessa’s arm, glaring at her in disapproval before turning back to Vee. “Vee, I was the first person to clean up the remains of the Palace, and I never saw that book.”
“So, what, someone fucking stole it?”
“I-I don't know.” Amara muttered. “I'll help you try to find it, but we need to act fast; Mr. Wellington said his big moment is next Sunday.”
“Great, there’s a time limit.” Vee pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to think of where to start. “Alright, tell you what. I have a spell that will help me locate the book, but it has limited range. As soon as I get a ping, I’ll reach out.”
Amara literally jumped with joy, and seemed ready to hug Vee, but she hesitated. She instead pivoted to Tessa, squeezing her tight as she spoke. “That’s great!”
“For now, just… I don’t know. I need space.” Vee said. As she watched Tessa and Amara turn to leave, she added, “Oh, and… I-It's nice you’re raising money for the Palace. The photos are… very professional.”
Vee stepped back inside, closing the door behind her. She could hear the other girls slowly walking away, and she couldn’t help but overhear what they were saying.
“She’s going to help, Tess! Thank you so much!” Amara said.
“Yeah, she also zapped you across the hallway. Were you listening in on our conversation?”
“I heard a couple bits when you were yelling, but I waited down the hall to try and avoid eavesdropping. My hearing is crazy good, remember?”
Their voices grew quieter and quieter, eventually fading altogether. Vee rested her head on the door, almost wishing they would come back. Though, even if they did, would she just snap at them again? Her anger seemed like some uncontrollable viper, lashing out against her will, and she didn’t know how to control it.
“If you want proof… go talk to Nick. He was there when this all started.”
Tessa’s words resurfaced, bouncing around in her head. Vee had, truthfully, never known that she was a witch. Amara had hinted at it just before their fight, and Vee had only pieced it together days later in the hospital. On one hand, it was hardly surprising; Tessa had always kept strange company, and even stranger habits. On the other, it was yet another secret her friends had kept from her. Why had Tessa told Amara, but not her?
I have to make a choice, I can’t keep pushing them away and hoping they wait for me to make up my mind. If I apologize, if I try to make them a part of my life again, will things return to normal? Can we honestly go back to sleepovers and late-night tacos after everything that’s happened? Of course, the only other choice is to listen to the Church. Sever all ties, call in reinforcements, and take care of Amara once and for all.
Even thinking it, just for a moment, made her feel sick. Amara had been so excited that she’d agreed to help! As weird as it was to admit, Tessa had a point; she’s been best friends with Amara ever since college started, was she really willing to throw that away?
Isn’t there a third option? One where Amara gets to have a life, but I don’t have to turn against the Church?
Vee closed her eyes, and tears formed in her eyes. “What am I supposed to do?”
No one answered, not that she’d expected anyone to. When she was a child, she used to think she was able to have conversations with her Patron, if she could only get during enough. After years of trying, she eventually accepted that she was just as alone as any mortal. She stayed there, leaning against the door, for another few minutes before she made up her mind. Wiping the tears from her face, she grabbed her keys from the counter, and left.
—
Hundreds of thoughts raced through Vee’s head, and she didn’t know which ones to listen to. She heard the voices of pastors, explaining that she was an angel. She remembered learning about her sacred duty, being taught the fundamental truths of the universe so that she might enforce them.
She also heard Amara, remembering the sound of her laughter the night of her first party. Nothing else had mattered that night, they were just four friends dancing their hearts out, and Vee had talked her into going. Of course, that night had been the start of Amara’s rebirth. There was so much she didn’t know, and it was time to get some answers.
Vee sighed nervously, then knocked on the door in front of her. With her enhanced senses, she heard footsteps approaching, and soon enough the door opened. Nick’s eyes went wide with surprise, though he tried to stay calm. “Vee! I… wasn’t expecting you.”
“Well, I didn’t tell you I was coming, so that makes sense. Can I come in?” Nick nodded, moving out of the way to let Vee pass. As she entered his apartment, she took a deep breath, wondering how present the smell of sulfur would be. Surprisingly, its presence was lighter than she expected.
“It’s good to see you back, Vee. I’m happy you’re doing well.” Nick said. When Vee turned to face him, she saw his eyes instinctually dart to the scars on her face, but he quickly averted them.
“We need to talk.” Vee sat down, her knees curled up underneath her in a corner of the couch, though her body was tense.
“I completely agree. I’m… look, I’m so sorry for everything, and if there’s anything I can do to help, I want to put things right. For everyone.” Nick pulled a chair closer, sitting opposite Vee before leaning in.
“You need to tell me what happened, from the beginning. Tessa tells me you were there when Amara… when she found out.”
“It's a bit of a long story, can I get you anything?” Vee didn't answer, instead staring daggers at Nick. With a heavy sigh, he began talking. “It all started at that party, the one everyone talked her into. It started fine, though she was definitely nervous. I checked in on her occasionally, but she wasn’t drinking, so I let myself cut loose a little. Eventually, she came up to me with this look on her face, and I thought something was wrong. She pulled me upstairs, and I could tell something was different. She’s normally a pretty timid person, but she was moving with this unnatural confidence, it was weird. Still, I was pretty drunk, and before I could ask any questions, she was on top of me. We… slept together, and that was her first time.”
“And you just went along with it? What happened to all the times you two agreed to never date? That there was nothing between you two?”
“I don’t know, Vee, it all happened so fast. The next morning, I’m freaking out, I’m trying to figure out what this all means, when she texts me. She says she wants to talk, and we do. We agree we don’t want to date, but the whole time we’re talking, she seems weirdly distracted. Out of nowhere, she jumps me again, and we come to an understanding; maybe we can just be friends with benefits. She had this… I dunno, this fire inside of her. So we hooked up again, and when she stands up, she suddenly has a tail. I point it out, she freaks, and I had to spend the entire day trying to calm her down. You’ve seen her panic attacks before, and this one was the worst of the worst.”
“That… seems like Amara.”
“Anyways, we have no idea what’s going on, and we agree to try and do some research to figure out what’s happening. She starts wearing really baggy sweaters to hide her tail, and I manage to find some leads.”
That’s what those sweaters were for?
“The tail looked kinda devilish, and then I remembered that this all began after she started having sex. We had pretty little to go on, but succubus seemed like our best guess.”
“But you kept sleeping with her? You didn’t bother worrying that she was stealing your soul?”
“Are you kidding? I was freaking out! I took a week off school and visited family, just to give myself some space. I’ve never been a very religious person, but suddenly I have definitive proof that it’s all real; Heaven, Hell, everything. What if she stole my soul accidentally? I spent that whole week looking for… I dunno, a sign? I wanted proof that I still had a soul, that I was still me.”
“And?”
“Look, I’m not an angel, I don’t know how souls work. But, fiction tells me that people without souls turn heartless, they stop feeling things, and push themselves further into depravity just to try and feel something again. I spent that whole week doing charity work, helping around the house, playing with the family dogs… and it felt good. I was happy, I felt proud to make a difference in my community. Nothing felt different, so I decided to trust Amara.”
“But she’s a demon! How are you okay with that?!” Vee hissed.
“I don’t know! I can’t explain it, Vee, but I’ve known her for years. We spend so much time together, and the whole time she was transforming, it never felt like she was changing. The only real difference was that she seemed happier, like some veil had been lifted and she could finally see clearly. So, yeah, I was happy for her, and I pushed her into accepting what she was. I taught her how to use her tail, I convinced her to go as her true form for Halloween.”
“And what about us? Did that mean nothing?” Vee asked quietly.
“Vee, no one was more excited about us getting together than Amara. When I asked you out, I talked with Amara, and we agreed that we would stop sleeping together if you and I started dating. Neither of us knew you were an angel, and we were just trying our best to find a new normal. I really like you, Vee, I… I still do, but everything is so confusing. After we kissed, you ran off, and I didn’t know why. Everything with Derek had just happened, sure, but you also seemed so reluctant to talk about yourself. I assumed you just weren't ready for anything yet.”
Silence fell in the room, neither person saying anything as they waited for Vee to think things through. She hated how reasonable he was being. There had to be more going on, right?
“And this cult? Do you trust that Amara’s telling the truth?”
“Without a doubt.”
Vee sighed. She’d been studying Nick's face this entire time, looking for any clues that he might be under Amara's influence without realizing it. The entire time he'd been talking, though, nothing had changed; he seemed completely sincere.
It’s now or never, Vee. You either help, or you don’t.
After another awkward silence, Vee spoke up again. “I can… use magic to enhance my senses. That night, I ran because I could smell sulfur on you. I’d been hunting a succubus, and I thought that, whoever she was, she’d slept with you to send me a message. I thought you’d become her thrall, and were trying to trap me for her.”
Nick stood up, moving closer before kneeling in front of Vee. “Vee, I'm just a human. You two are crazy strong, probably more than I know, but if I saw her try to hurt you? I would stop her. I don’t know what she’s wrestling with, and I don’t know what happened on Halloween, but I have to believe that’s not who she is.” Nick tried to place a hand on Vee’s arm, but she flinched and pulled away from him.
Standing up, Vee pushed past Nick and started walking towards the door. “I… I’m sorry things didn’t work out between us, Nick.” Before he had a chance to answer, Vee ran out the front door. A tear fell down her cheek, and she wiped it off quickly. Her steps grew more determined, and she spent the rest of the night wandering campus, casting her tracking spell.
—
Alright gang, I'm going to do something a little bit different this time. I'm normally pretty hands off when it comes to these rough drafts, and tend to mostly ask for spelling/grammar checks and flow issues. However, this chapter is really important for a million different reasons, and it was honestly kind of tough to write. A lot of things changed, moved around, and were rewritten. I'd like to detail what exactly I'm hoping to portray with this chapter, so that you can easily spot places where my intended goals may have been missed.
First and foremost, there's a LOT of conversation in this chapter, and quite a bit of it gets rather heated. Please let me know if you ever lost track of who was speaking, or if any arguments ever felt out of character.
The first big argument is between Amara and Tessa, and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. Amara is the more trusting one, but there's more to it. I'm hoping that, in addition to seeking forgiveness from Vee, she's also clinging to the hope that Vee can be forgiven, because that might mean she can be forgiven as well.
Tessa, on the other hand, is a little more defensive, and a fait bit of her mistrust comes from history we haven't actually seen yet. I want it to be obvious that she's had run-ins with the Church before, and that they probably didn't go well.
The main attraction here, obviously, is Tessa's conversation with Vee. We've never seen these two interact before, and it's incredibly charged. In a perfect world, I want to show that Vee is incredibly conflicted, and this inner conflict is causing her to lash out in ways even she doesn't expect. She's looking for proof, for a reason that she can latch onto, because she's terrified of turning against a heritage that has defined her entire life. However, I'd love it if the audience also understands her point of view; why she mistrusts Amara, why she's skeptical of their plan, especially since Tessa has no proof. I tried to show the hypocrisy of both girls present; Tessa saying "Demons are bad! Well, but not this one, don't ask why." but also Vee saying "You were wrong for hiding your identities, but I'm justified in keeping mine secret." I don't want people thinking Vee is being stubborn, cruel, or pointlessly callous.
I have more confidence in how Tessa is portrayed in this conversation. She's always quick to anger, so her escalating this argument hopefully feels in character. However, she also has a couple points where she calms down, and I tried to show that Amara's trust in Vee is possibly rubbing off on her.
The final scene, between Nick and Vee, is also one I'm fairly confident in. This is Vee looking for proof, but also finally confronting Nick about the relationship they almost started. I thought it would be fun to hear his perspective on the earlier events of Book 1, so please let me know if it feels redundant at all.
Thanks for listening to me ramble! Y'all are the best!
Nyx <3
Comments
Dadhiker
Nyx, Ever have the feeling that you've forgotten something important, but can't remember what it was? I just remembered it. There was one line that is either a plot inconsistency or a plot twist. If it's an error, you might want to remove it. That line concerns Vee's return to academic life: "The one exception was her music theory teacher, who was normally an incredibly delightful person; he seemed exceptionally rude today, and she couldn’t figure out why." If Vee can smell sulfur on Nick and Amara and if the music theory teacher is the demon possessed human, then wouldn't Vee be able to smell sulfur on him?
Dadhiker
Nyx, I think I got that. Just don't try to do too much all at once. I suggest you confine Vee's conflicting emotions to just two or three. I suspect most of your readers are intelligent enough to handle pretty much anything you put out, but the cleaner you make your storylines with respect to Vee, you'll be better able to integrate her with the multiple story lines of your other characters without getting too far afield. Vee has her own set of issues, but the story is still essentially about Amara and if you get too complex with Vee, it will be more difficult to integrate with the rest of the story without having to take drastic shortcuts.
Nyx Nyghtingale
I absolutely see where you're coming from. Without going into any details, Vee is someone who's dealing with multiple conflicting ideologies, and a big part of her journey moving forward is going to involve wrestling with those ideas. I've been hinting at her mixed feelings about her heritage since as far back as chapter three, and it's defintely going to be a long process. My main goal with this chapter was to illustrate her conflict, to demonstrate that she's unsure how to rationalize recent events, especially when judging them in the way she'd been taught growing up. Is she being unnecessarily rude, possibly even cruel? That's certainly what I was trying to portray; I was actually hoping it might serve as an interesting counterpoint to Amara. Vee is almost acting more like what you'd expect from a demon; lashing out, being passive aggressive, things like that. Much like you said, the narrative I'm aiming for is meant to explore how Vee and Amara feel about their identities, and how they wrestle with the weight of their respective expectations. Vee has never been a particularly philosophical person, which is why I try to frame her struggles here as mostly personal. In my original outline, I actually had envisioned Vee as acting even more rude, but that didn't feel right when I started writing. In the end, since I'm writing long form fiction, I can only do my best to portray her in this moment. That being said, it might be beneficial to pepper in another hint or two about her upbringing, and letting that set the stage for some of her inner conflict. I'll be keeping that in mind when I revisit this chapter.
Dadhiker
Nyx, Vee is a wonderful opportunity to put your personal spin on the nature of God, religion and the church and my comments are only intended to whet your appetite in how you want to proceed. If you take a more traditional Judeo-Christian approach tp God and religion, then your path for Vee is fairly straight-forward and rather rigid. Sin is sin and any variation from the church's teaching from the Bible is forbidden (depending upon which church's doctrine you're following). If Vee is Catholic, then Tessa and Amara's relationship is doomed in Vee's eyes. But you also get a chance to redefine sin here. Love is good and hate is the sin. It's how we treat each other and the world around us that matters. If those are Vee's guiding principles, then some church leaders might be frowned upon in Vee's eyes. Even the concept of demons becomes redefined as Amara exemplifies a different category of good. This may open Vee's eyes to a concept that she's never thought of. I might even enrich her power as an angel if she can apply it as a principle. There are other variations, of course. You can get more into eastern philosophies and religions and more of a zen acceptance of life, although I personally have a difficult time trying to fit that into you scenario, but then, it's your show and you might find a way. If this has given you some ideas and clarity, then let me see if I can confuse you a bit. Any of the formats I mentioned above may or may not necessarily work for Vee. She could be a rebel of sorts, fighting against traditonal Judeo-Christian doctrine, for example and becoming a kind of outlaw angel in a counter example of Amara's outlaw demon. In crafting Vee's response to Tessa and Amara, you could simplify the multiple conflicting emotions into personal vs. "angelic" (the latter defined by one of the approaches I mentioned above). So for example, if "good" is defined as kindness and caring for each other and the world at large, then Vee's resistance is personal and until she realizes she needs to put that aside, she will be out of sync with her own mission as an angel. Accepting Amara would be a form of "religious completion" by expanding and more clearly defining her concept of good and evil.
Nyx Nyghtingale
The chapter does indeed start with Amara still disguised as the teacher, and I agree that a reminder might be appreciated. Regarding Nick, and his willingness to not sleep in the same bed as Amara and Tessa, this actually harkens back to his decision to forego a threesome earlier in the book. I've got a very clear picture of why he's acting the way he is, and I'm planning on exploring that later. I definitely see your point about the back and forth between Vee's thoughts and dialogue, and I think a second pass would help streamline the argument and reduce some of the redundancy. While I'm looking at that, I'll see if I can add a bit more clarity to who's speaking. When you mention Vee, and exploring more of her angelic qualities, could you clarify what you mean? One weakness I'm aware I might run into is that I've yet to explore the Vee's Church at all. In my head, I've got a pretty clear picture of how it works, and how Vee was raised, but I understand that my readers don't have that perspective. The way I'm writing Angels, much the same way I'm writing Witches, is rather different than other, more popular interpretations, and I'm curious if that's hindering my narrative at all in Vee-centric chapters. As always, I appreciate you taking the time to share your point of view.
Dadhiker
Nyx, There's a lot to digest here and I may need a couple of separate replies to get it all in. Overall, it's a good read, but there are a few areas I have some concerns about. The escape. I minor detail, but I presume Amara is still dressed like Prof. Luxnor? If so, it would make sense to morph into Nick. I don't know if that needs clarification, but it is a very minor detail you might get a few comments on. The argument in Amara's apartment. As a male, I can't get over Nick's sense of self discipline of sleeping on the couch while a horny witch and a sex demon are in the next room. No need to change anything there, but you might want to tune into you "Maleness Imagination." It might add another element to your narrative that might surprise you. [I might need to qualify that last paragraph. I started writing erotic fiction a little less than 2 years ago. I received similar advice on a different subject and found that my stories became richer and more complex once I was able to jump into the heads of each of my characters after I learned more about them. Sometimes I needed to complete or almost complete the entire story before I truly understood what was going on in the mind of those characters in my early chapters. The true irony of why I make that point to you is because of your wonderful writing skills and your creative imagination. If you were anything less, I wouldn't bother to mention this.] I agree with you about the conversation in Vee's apartment. First of all, I presumed early on (when the circles were first discovered) that Amara and Vee were going to team up at some point and I've enjoyed your "cat and mouse" play of having these fictional opposites figure out their relationship to each other. But you might want to rewrite that section, or perhaps most of it. You've switched back and forth between dialogue and Vee's head, often repeating the same points but in a slightly different perspective. You could do the same thing with just dialogue (eliminating some redundancy) or leave readers hanging just a bit and revealing the same point later on. Unlike FanofRoses I did have problems following some of the dialogue. I waited to reread the chapter before writing these comments, just to be sure I understood who was saying what when, or if this was something simply playing inside Vee's head. Also, for an angel, Vee seems like a bit of a bitch in that scene. I get the conflict inside Vee between anger, hurt, confusion and distrust, but perhaps you could show a more angelic quality to her confusion. One point that might be helpful is to separate the idea of Godliness or Godlike from Church. An angel might be above religious politics or denominational infighting. She can fight evil without being a church fanatic. Another aside: Faith is a choice, not a requirement. Evil exists as an option because we're not required to do good. We expect demons to be evil (clearly Vee does), but Amara is an exception. Maybe Vee is aware of exceptions among angels - and what self-respecting angle would want to be like that? The one quality I don't see in Vee or Amara (and certainly not Tessa) is 'forgiveness'. I presume we'll see that in a future chapter. There is the potential for some very touching scenes involving forgiveness with the way you have set up the story (forgiving each other, forgiving themselves). As a romantic, I'm hoping you might find a tear-jerker or two in there somewhere. I know this is long and picayune in some places. But you've only yourself to blame for setting such a high bar in the previous 21 chapters!
Nyx Nyghtingale
Always thrilled to see you enjoying the story, and I'm happy this chapter hit all the beats I wanted it too. Regarding Amara's thoughts on Vee, you are defintely correct. She does think Vee is a good person that deserves forgiveness, but there's also that element of trying to look for her own redemption, so hopefully every facet of that is coming through. Thanks for pointing that out, as always! The typo is defintely an error, I'll make sure to fix it in the actual release.
AFanofRoses
This remains one of the best works of fiction I've ever seen. Every story beat and point of conflict is woven together like a fine tapestry. To answer your questions for this chapter: There is a lot of conversation in this chapter. I happen to love character-lead drama like this chapter, so I have nothing but praise about that. None of the conversations were tough to keep track of, and none of the dialogue felt too out of character to me. Tess calming down isn't exactly usual for her, but she obviously can't escalate forever, and it makes total sense in the context of the conversation. On the topic of your hope that the audience sees that, "in addition to seeking forgiveness from Vee, she's also clinging to the hope that Vee can be forgiven, because that might mean she can be forgiven as well," I have a take that's slightly different. My take on that conversation was more along the lines that Amara wanted to give Vee a second chance because she knows that Vee is a good person. Amara wants her forgiveness, and she wants to prove to Vee that she (Amara) is still a fundamentally good person despite the fact that she's a succubus. Not exactly the same as what it sounds like you're going for, but it feels similar to me. The conversations with Tess make it very clear that she has experience with the Church. If I didn't know that before, Vee's inner monologue told me so. It seems unlikely that a person could miss that. The scene between Nick and Vee doesn't feel redundant at all. Vee doesn't know which path to take. She wants to hear from everybody she can before she makes a decision that will be incredibly hard for her, no matter what she chooses. She needs to look for any sign that her friends are tricking her. It feels right to include it here. And now my favorite scene. The conflict involving Vee is one of the most compelling character dramas I can think of. Tess comes in with a lot of baggage, and I can tell that she's trying to be civil for Amara's sake. Tess doesn't want to trust Vee, but she also knows that her story about Amara being trustworthy doesn't stand up to any serious scrutiny. Vee is coming to terms with the fact that other people kept the same kind of secret that she did, and is trying to square her faith in a higher power with her hope that her friends are telling her the truth. Again, the most beautiful part about this entire dynamic is that I can't side with any one person. Everyone has made mistakes. Everyone has also acted in a way where I see them as morally in the right. Vee cannot know that Amara is a fundamentally good person in the same way the audience knows it. Amara cannot know that Vee wants very badly to trust her. It's so exhilarating to see both sides of such a grey argument so clearly. P.S. I'd feel like a bad beta reader if I didn't bring an error to your attention. [When she was a child, she used to think she was able to have conversations with her Patron, if she could only get during enough.] It possible that I'm not religious in the right way to know what "get during enough" means, but I suspect that it's an error.
