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Rough Draft - Blood & Chlorophyll Ch. 06

🕑 Added 2024-08-05 17:00:10 +0000 UTC

Comments

AFanofRoses

I'm really loving this journey so far! Katrina and Alicia are well on their way to becoming such good friends! You deserve to have no specific concerns for this chapter. The events here flowed as always like an ageless river. Unfortunately there are a few rocks in the river that create a bit of turbulence. [She didn’t bother to make notes if the delver was a Bard or a Tank . . .] Is Tank an official class, or a catch-all term for any Class who is able to withstand / block a lot of damage? It struck me as a little weird that Katrina would be okay with any support class that wasn't Bard, but she excludes all beefy classes because Alicia is in the group. [Alicia stepped off the train, sighing in relief as her feet landed on the platform. Katrina watched her sigh in relief, and her steps began quickening as they neared the ground outside.] Something feels off about reading the same thing in back-to-back sentences. You may consider using something like "Katrina watched her stand up straighter . . ." to add more variety to the passage.


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