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Rough Draft - Blood & Chlorophyll Ch. 03

🕑 Added 2024-06-24 17:00:05 +0000 UTC

Comments

AFanofRoses

The "Bring [Her] to Life" part was in reference to Evanescence's song "Bring Me to Life." Not meant to be commentary on anything, that was just the biggest emo song around the time I was growing up and I had to substitute the pronoun in the song title for Katrina's. However, the impending end of Pride Month has me thinking that a Vampire Pride flag would look super metal!

Nyx Nyghtingale

Her pronouns could be She/The! (They're not but... y'know, they could be.) Thanks for pointing all this out, as always, I'll make sure they get corrected in the final draft :)

AFanofRoses

Your writing is beautiful. I could say so, so much more, but that's the truth. For me, nothing gets in the way of anything else, and many of the scenes tell several elements of the story at once. The interaction between Katrina and Alicia reveals so much about both of them, and Alicia catching up with her friends and surfing the internet tells us a lot about the world. Really fantastic work! Alas, we live in an imperfect world, where even Nyx the Brilliant (name pending) makes mistakes. [Surprisingly, her thoughts returned to the Alicia, to their brief handshake . . .] Not just any Alicia. THE Alicia. [her bedroom was perfectly functional, over than the fact that it lacked a bed.] This might be a phrase I'm unfamiliar with, but I think you were going for "other than the fact . . ." [Katrina, however, had no interest in that kind of music . . .] An emo girl (I assume she's emo because she's a vampire) who prefers acoustic guitars to electric? Sounds like someone needs to Bring [Her] to Life, if you know what I mean. Other than that glaring oversight, your knowledge and description of the instrument is really great! Either you already had a wealth of experience with them, or you did a whole lot of research. Either way, great work!


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