Nyx Nyghtingale
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Rough Draft - Blood & Chlorophyll Ch. 04
🕑 Added 2024-07-08 17:00:09 +0000 UTCKatrina didn’t sleep well the following day. She tossed and turned, even woke up a few times as rush hour traffic loudly announced its presence. In the end, she rose before her alarm went off, while the last traces of sunlight were still lingering outside. Careful to avoid the tiny sunbeams that managed to slip through her blackout curtains, she walked to the kitchen and grabbed another pouch of blood. The rush of energy helped to alleviate her exhaustion somewhat, and when she collapsed onto her living room couch, she sighed heavily. In front of her, sitting delicately on the floor next to her guitar, was a cherry blossom petal.
Alicia.
She couldn’t stop thinking about last night. She hadn’t been prepared to meet anyone, and had only felt comfortable exploring that neighborhood because she thought it was abandoned. Going downtown had stressed her out, and she hated that she’d been so short with the Dryad.
It didn’t help that she hadn’t had a real conversation in ages. She did her best to stay cordial with Dennis, but staying friendly with him was, in part, a survival tactic. Plus, the magically reinforced glass that separated them made it easier to control herself. Other than the clinic, she occasionally had very short conversations with her boss, but they were always about work, and she never lingered for longer than she needed to.
In any other situation, she would have welcomed being perceived as rude and standoffish. It was better for people to avoid her, for their own safety. Once she’d figured out that it was safe to be around Alicia, however, she had felt awful. Rather than a necessary safety tactic, her behavior now felt pointlessly callous.
I have to apologize to her, it’s the right thing to do.
She checked her phone and confirmed that the sun had just finished setting. If she were going to make another trip out to the suburbs, it would be best to do so as early as possible. Back in her bedroom, she threw together a halfway respectable outfit, then moved to the bathroom to make sure she didn’t look like a slob.
Next, Katrina ran to her kitchen, rummaging through some cabinets before pulling out a small bag. It had been designed to look like any other semi-fashionable purse, but it was actually meant to hold a single pouch of blood, as well as a few personal effects. She’d originally bought it when she thought the blood shortage was temporary, and had hoped that it would give her a way to bring blood with if she ever started delving. She closed the blood pouch she’d been nursing and tucked it inside the purse, then did the same with her phone and her keys.
Last, she packed up her guitar, knowing it would be the best way to show her apology was genuine. Once she was ready, she strapped her guitar case to her back and jumped out of her window. Locking it behind her, she began the flight back to Alicia’s neighborhood.
As she flew, the wind whipping around her, she hoped that Alicia wasn’t an early bird. The Dryad had certainly seemed eager to talk last night, but she didn’t want her constant interruptions to be a nuisance.
What am I hoping for? Is this just an apology?
Katrina watched the city slowly transition to suburbs as she flew, unsure how to answer her own question. What would happen after she apologized? Obviously she didn’t want to keep the Dryad up, robbing her of sleep, but she also couldn’t deny that Alicia had seemed unusually excited by her presence. Katrina had initially assumed this was because of her stats; one of the many changes the System had implemented was that Charisma now dictated many aspects of one’s physical appearance. Her high Charisma score meant that her curves were more pronounced, her breasts were fuller, and her skin was flawless.
I shouldn’t assume anything. She could be straight, or ace! She could just as easily be excited to have a visitor, I’ll bet her neighborhood doesn’t see a lot of traffic. I’ll just say what I need to say, and if we happen to get to know each other, great.
After a fair amount of flying, Katrina finally saw the massive cherry blossom in the distance. She caught herself smiling, remembering how peaceful it had been last night. If things went well, she definitely wouldn’t mind coming here more often. Once she was closer, underneath the canopy, flower petals began landing on her. She smirked, grabbing a larger one and tucking it behind her ear.
She didn’t see Alicia anywhere, and decided to land a few dozen feet away from the tree. Last time, the Dryad had emerged from the trunk itself, so maybe she slept inside the tree? With no way to know, she figured she may as well recreate what had happened last night.
Once her guitar was ready, she flew to the perch she’d picked last night, and began playing a soft melody. She could feel tension in her fingers as she played, nervous about what might happen. With a deep breath, she closed her eyes, and did her best to lose herself in the music.
—
It was a strange sensation, waking to live music. Not only had music been largely absent from Alicia’s life, but the soft guitar melody echoing through her branches was quite different than the music she’d previously enjoyed as a Human. She could also feel the vibrations of the guitar, they reverberated through her tree and grew dangerously close to tickling her. Thankfully, she held her composure, and floated through her trunk until she found the source of the music.
She almost couldn’t believe it, but Katrina had returned.
The Vampire was sitting on the same branch she’d chosen last night, though her posture had changed. She now held a guitar in her lap, and her fingers expertly danced across the strings as she played a peaceful melody. Her eyes were closed, though her head was moving in time with the music.
Alicia stayed perfectly still, her arms folded in front of her on the edge of the trunk, her head resting on them. She listened raptly, completely in awe of the musician in front of her. She’d heard that Bards were skilled, but seeing one in person was simply breathtaking.
In time, the music slowed, and with one final chord, the song ended. Katrina froze, letting the final notes echo through the tree, before finally opening her eyes. Alicia felt her flinch slightly, though she was definitely less surprised than last night. The girls looked at each other for a moment, and this time it was the Vampire that broke the silence.
“Alicia! It’s, um, good to see you again!” she said nervously.
“You came back,” Alicia whispered, “I wasn’t sure you would.”
“Right, well, about that.” Katrina cleared her throat. “Yesterday was… well, let’s just say it was a rough day. I don’t do well around people and… actually, that doesn’t matter. I’m here because I want to apologize for how I acted last night.”
“Apologize? For what?”
Katrina seemed surprised by the question. “You seemed rather eager to have a conversation, and I kept shutting you down. Plus, the instant I saw a chance to leave, I took it, which was also pretty rude.”
“I didn’t think you were rude at all! I enjoyed our conversation!” Alicia protested.
The Vampire paused, then chuckled quietly. “I don’t think I did much conversing, honestly, but I appreciate the sentiment. Still, I’m sorry for how I acted, Alicia, and I wanted to make it up to you.” She gestured at her guitar, then quietly started playing another song while the conversation continued.
“Apology accepted, Katrina the Vampire! I think it’s a really sweet gesture.” Alicia caught herself blushing and hid her cheeks behind her hands slightly. “So… can I ask why yesterday was rough? I’ll gladly talk about something else if not!”
“No, that’s a fair question. I’m a Vampire, obviously, and I needed to refill my blood rations. I have a local clinic that I normally go to, but because of the shortage, they were out. I had to take the train downtown, which is always really busy.” Katrina paused, her guitar filling the silence briefly. “I… have a really hard time around people.”
“Wait, you need human blood? I thought animal blood worked as a substitute?”
“For many of us, it can. But… how to describe this… do you drink coffee?”
“I don’t actually eat or drink anymore, but I used to! Becoming a plant saved me a lot of money on groceries.” Alicia said. She saw Katrina laugh slightly, and warmth filled her cheeks again.
“Honestly? That kinda happened to me too, I don’t need to buy food anymore. Anyways, when you were human, would the caffeine wake you up?”
“Oh yeah. I had to be really careful not to drink too much, or in the afternoon. If I forgot, I was up the whole night.”
“See, I had the opposite. Caffeine never affected me one way or the other. I could down three shots of espresso right before bed, and nothing would happen. Animal blood kinda works the same way; for most people, it serves as an adequate substitute, but for me it doesn’t really do anything. Plus, honestly? It makes me gag.”
“I’m really sorry to hear that, it sounds awful.” Alicia reached out, placing a hand on the Vampire’s ankle to comfort her. Katrina flinched slightly, but softened after a moment.
Neither girl talked for a few minutes, letting the sounds of the guitar fill the air. A cool, night breeze rustled the branches, shaking loose another flurry of flower petals. Eventually, Katrina spoke up. “Do you ever miss eating?”
“Y’know, I haven’t thought about it in a while, but I really do. There used to be this restaurant, about 15 minutes north of here, and they made the absolute best chipotle mayo. I’d put it on fries, hamburgers, chicken, it was amazing.” Alicia paused for a moment, sorting through memories she hadn’t thought about in ages. “They never reopened after the Change, sadly. Once everything had settled down, and places reopened, I tried to find a new burger place.”
“I thought you said you couldn’t eat?” Katrina asked.
“At the time, I thought maybe I could if I wanted to. That maybe it wasn’t necessary, but I could still treat myself. Anyways, this burger joint charged me like, a hundred dollars for delivery, and I was so excited.”
“How’d it go?”
“Oh, it was the worst. I think turning into a plant messed with my taste buds; it was like I was chewing on clumpy, wet paint. I haven’t tried any food since then, and I’m pretty sure my body just isn’t designed for it anymore.”
“A pain I understand all too well,” Katrina said. She paused her music for a moment, reaching into a purse hanging by her hips. She pulled out one of her blood pouches, just like Alicia had seen last night. “How about a toast?”
Alicia laughed, moving slightly further out of her tree, and closer to the Vampire. “Well, I have nothing to toast with, but sure!”
“In memoriam of hamburgers, and chipotle mayo!” Katrina held her pouch aloft, and Alicia tapped her fingers against it. After the toast, Katrina took another small sip before tucking the pouch into her purse again. The Dryad found herself laughing at the absurdity of their toast, and soon enough guitar music filled the air again.
“So, what do you do for work?” Alicia asked, settling back into a comfortable position. “Are you a musician?”
“Gosh, that would be nice, wouldn’t it? No, I’m a little more… isolated.” Katrina looked at Alicia, then sighed in resignation. “I’m… god, this is so embarrassing… I wash windows.”
“Why is that embarrassing?”
“I just wish I could do literally anything else. I’m a Bard, and a Vampire! I have mastery over the skies, domain over mankind’s most elusive dream, and what do I do with it? I hover outside skyscrapers and clean off bird droppings.”
“Why not quit? You’re an amazing musician, I bet you could find all sorts of work!”
“It’s not that simple, Alicia. With this blood shortage, I can’t… I can’t be around people.”
“Is it really that bad? I mean, you seem to be doing alright now.”
“Well that’s… it’s different with you. When I’m around other people, I hear their heartbeats, I can smell their blood just beneath their skin, and my instincts try to take over. They tell me I should take what I want, and it takes all my strength to say no.”
The pieces finally clicked, and Alicia realized what Katrina was saying. “But I don’t have blood! I’m a plant!”
The Vampire nodded. “That’s why I felt so bad about last night. I’m so used to keeping my distance from everyone, trying to keep them safe, that I did the same with you. At first, I thought you had a weird Race or Class ability, something that hid your smell from me. I wanted to get home because I didn’t trust myself, and when I realized what was happening… I just felt awful.”
“Hey, don’t beat yourself up! Everyone’s had a rough time since the Change, you’re just doing your best!
“I appreciate you saying that, but I still feel bad.” Katrina sighed, leaning her head against the branch behind her. “You’re a nice person, Alicia.”
“So are you! You’re putting in all this effort to keep people safe, and that’s really cool!” Alicia let her voice grow a little louder, and she thought back to all the frustrating people she encountered at work. “Trust me, I see so many people trying to circumvent the system. They cut corners, they ignore Status requirements, all to save a quick buck.”
Katrina looked back at Alicia, an inquisitive look on her face. “Is that through work? What do you do?”
“I work for the Office of Racial Cooperation. I can’t do inspections, since traveling is pretty hard for me, but I make a lot of calls. I help businesses understand all the new Race laws, explain what changes need to be made, and direct them to resources that can help.”
“You work for ORC? That’s really impressive!”
“Trust me, it’s exhausting. I’m so tired of hearing people complain about sex work being legal now.”
“Hey,” Katrina said, leaning forward. She stopped playing and placed a hand on Alicia’s arm. “You’re putting in a lot of effort to keep people safe, I’d say that’s pretty cool.”
The Dryad found herself blushing again. She hadn’t expected her own words to be used against her, but she also couldn’t stop focusing on the warm hand holding her arm. “Well I… that’s… I mean, sure, I guess…”
Katrina squeezed gently, then leaned back and started playing again.
How does she make everything look so natural? Gosh, I could stay here forever, just talking and listening to her play.
After Alicia managed to pull herself together, she spoke up again. “Have you ever thought about Delving? I hear Bards are great at it!”
The Vampire smirked, looking off into the distance again. “I dream about Delving every day. I follow every scrap of news, I look at everyone comparing their builds, I cheer every major Level Up from the big Guilds. Unless this shortage ends, however, it’s just too risky. I visited the main Chicago camp once, and while I was there a Guild returned from a run. They were badly hurt, and the smell of their blood almost overwhelmed me. I managed to escape, but I realized I could never live that life. What happens if we’re dozens of levels down and I lose control?”
“But… if you had a way to try, you’d want to?” Alicia’s thoughts wandered back to the basement she’d blockaded yesterday.
“Well, yeah, that sounds amazing.”
The Dryad swallowed nervously before speaking again. “Y’know I… kinda have a Dungeon.”
The music stopped unexpectedly, Katrina’s surprised hands accidentally playing the acoustic equivalent of a record scratch. “You what?”
“I have a dungeon! It’s under this neighborhood, and I know where the entrance is. It’s a total secret, no one knows it’s here but me!”
“You’ve been living above a Dungeon for four years?! Do the monsters ever get out? What kind of biomes are in it? How big is it?” Katrina’s demeanor had changed entirely, and Alicia couldn’t help but smile at her excitement.
“Oh no, it hasn’t been years. This one just opened up a few weeks ago.”
“But that… Alicia, that doesn’t make sense. Every Dungeon we know about appeared during the Change. New ones can’t just pop up out of nowhere.”
Alicia shrugged. “Hey, I don’t know how they work. I just know that one day, everything was normal, and the next, I had a Dungeon.” She paused briefly, nervously fidgeting with her fingers. “Would you… want to go see it?”
“Are you kidding?!” Katrina floated out of the tree quickly but paused before she traveled too far. “Wait, what about you? I’m nocturnal, but shouldn’t you be asleep?”
“I’ll be fine! Besides, I think it’ll be fun to look at this with you, since you’re so knowledgeable about Dungeons.” Alicia vanished into her tree, floating down to the base of the trunk, and stepped out onto her lawn. She saw Katrina in the middle of packing up her guitar, though it seemed to be taking longer than usual. She was trying to pull all the cherry blossom flowers out of her case, which she’d left open. Once she’d finished, she eagerly turned to Alicia.
“Okay, I’m ready! Where to?”
The Dryad turned north, and the girls started walking. “So, I don’t really know much about it. I can feel the monsters walking around, some of my roots are exposed in the Dungeon, but thankfully they don’t seem to fight each other. The entrance is in the basement of an old destroyed house, and when I found it, there was a zombie walking around.”
“Zombies are normally on the weaker side for monsters, so that’s not terrible. Did you fight it?”
“Of course not! I blocked off the staircase and ran!”
“Right, you’re a Bulwark. What Level are you?”
“I’m only Level One. Nothing ever happens out here, so it’s not like I’ve ever had a chance to gain experience. Plus, Delving never really interested me, so I never cared that I wasn’t gaining Levels. What about you?”
“Bard, Level Two. My subclass is built for Spellcasting, but I don’t unlock spells until next level. Right now, I just have a simple Buff Aura. I can hasten Regeneration for HP, SP, or MP for those around me.” Katrina thought to herself for a moment. “Sounds like we’re not really built to deal damage, are we?”
Alicia laughed. “I guess not! But we’re just looking, right?” As she finished talking, she turned a corner and finally saw the destroyed house she was looking for. “Here it is!”
Katrina walked ahead, checking out the area carefully. “You said it was in the basement, right?” She approached the gap where the front door used to be, and cautiously pushed her hand over the threshold.
“Yup, basement is just around the corner.” Alicia watched the Vampire, who seemed oddly nervous about stepping into the house. “You okay? You seem nervous.”
“I’m checking to see if the System still thinks the house to be someone’s property. If someone still considers this their home, then I wouldn’t be allowed in without their permission.”
“Right, Vampire.”
“I think we’re fine, though. I don’t feel any resistance.” Katrina took a deep breath and passed through the doorway, then exhaled. “Lead the way!”
Alicia turned sideways, squeezing past Katrina. She was immediately aware of how close they were, their bodies brushing against each other as she passed. She cleared her throat nervously, then pointed down the hall. “So, down this hall there’s a staircase, which leads down to the basement. The Dungeon entrance opened inside.”
She had to stop briefly when they found the doorway, as it was still blocked off by a collection of vines, lumber, and rock. She closed her eyes, connecting with the flora present, and over the course of the next few minutes, slowly undid her barricade while Katrina pulled out the debris. When they finished, the darkened basement stood ready to be explored, though Alicia couldn’t help but notice it was much creepier at night.
The girls looked at each other for a moment before Katrina spoke. “You sure this isn’t a secret murder basement? I’m not going to find all the bodies of your previous victims?”
“I’m Level One!”
“Hey, I don’t have a Scan, you could be lying.” Katrina stuck her tongue out playfully. “Still, I believe you. I’m fine leading the way, but if I get attacked, can I get a barrier?”
“I’ll keep you safe, Katrina.” Alicia whispered, grabbing the Vampire’s shoulder. She let her hand linger for longer than she intended, and pulled it back nervously after locking eyes with Katrina.
“Alright, we can do this.” With a deep breath, Katrina started down the staircase. Her steps were careful, and her nervous energy was infectious. Alicia could see her shoulders tensing, her fingers squeezing into fists as she descended. Her hands brushed against her legs, which were clad in dark gray denim that clung tight to her enticing frame. Each of her steps, while slow and precise, seemed like careful dance moves when coming from her. As she reached the basement proper, she turned towards the back wall, and Alicia’s eyes traced the curve of her backside, which had previously been hidden by her guitar case.
“Wow, look at that!” Katrina said.
Startled, Alicia shook herself to her senses as she pulled her eyes away from the Vampire. “Yes, the Dungeon, right. Is it what you expected?”
“Hard to say. They say you should never judge a Dungeon by its entrance.” Katrina stepped closer, her eyes wandering over the smooth stone of the entrance. “Wait, can Dryads see in the dark?”
“Nope. Would light be a bad idea? You’re the expert here.”
“Nothing could be worse than trying to delve in pitch darkness. Wanna hit your phone flashlight?” Katrina looked back at her, and after a moment of silence, spoke again. “Wait, you’re not wearing clothes. Do you even have your phone with you?”
“I barely touch it these days, it’s back in my room.”
“No problem, you can use mine.” The Vampire moved closer, pulling out her phone and setting it up. A bright filled the area, and soon Alicia was carefully grabbing the source. She held it to her chest, and her eyes met Katrina’s briefly before the vampire turned to face the Dungeon again.
Alicia took a deep breath as she aimed the flashlight. There was no end to the chasm in front of them, and her nerves were shaking away the fatigue she felt from being up so late. Out of curiosity, she tapped the power button on Katrina’s phone to check the time. It wasn’t as late as she feared, but she was immediately distracted by something else she saw; there was a girl on Katrina’s lock screen.
She had natural, bright red hair, and a generous ocean of freckles covered her face. Her green eyes peeked out from behind a large pair of glasses, and she was smiling at the camera as she lay in a field of grass.
Could Katrina have a girlfriend? She kept saying that people made her nervous, so I assumed she was single… Oh, c’mon Alicia! She could be anyone! This could be a sister, a friend, maybe someone she lost in the Change! This wonderful girl is finally getting a chance to delve, and you’re worried about her dating life? Pull yourself together!
She tapped the power button again and refocused her eyes on the Dungeon in front of her. Katrina had wandered further ahead, though not by much, and the Dryad eagerly quickened her pace to catch up.
“So, what’s the plan?” Alicia whispered.
“We shouldn’t go in far, especially not without any real damage abilities. Honestly, I only feel safe peeking in like this since you said the last monster was a zombie. They’re pretty slow, and we can easily run away if one shows.”
With another step, Alicia finally crossed the threshold into the Dungeon. The harsh concrete of the basement gave way to packed dirt, and she could feel her connection with nature strengthen again. She dug in her toes, wondering if she could learn anything from the surrounding plants. Katrina was busy digging through a sconce on the wall, which gave Alicia a few seconds to survey the area.
Many of the local foliage had been shaken loose by the appearance of the Dungeon, but her abilities couldn’t get a strong read on the tunnel ahead. She could feel the vines that had previously blocked off the basement, however, and they were stirring.
“Katrina, wait! I think something’s behind us!” Alicia whispered.
“What? How?! I didn’t hear any doors opening!” Katrina ran closer, standing in front of Alicia as the girls both looked back towards the entrance. There, blocking their escape, was the zombie from several days ago. It was covered in vines and leaves, and had just finished crawling free of its corner.
It never went back into the Dungeon! It must have laid down and I accidentally covered it when I blocked the door!
“Get ready, it looks like we’re fighting our way out.” Katrina pulled her guitar case off her back, setting it down carefully before hyping herself up.
“You don’t have a weapon! What are you going to do?!”
“Just keep me safe, alright?”
Alicia’s pulse raced as she watched Katrina close the distance. The zombie was focused on her, for better or worse, and she ran in to try and strike its head. She smirked as her punch landed, and while the monster flinched, it didn’t seem all that affected. It retaliated, throwing its weight behind a strike of its own, and Alicia managed to summon a barrier to intercept the attack. A collection of roots, bark, and vine rose from the floor just inches from Katrina’s body, managing to stop the attack from hitting her.
She felt the attack dig into her HP, but thankfully the nature of her class meant she couldn’t feel the pain itself. The zombie, however, suddenly began moving with unnatural speed, and quickly pivoted on its good leg to lash out again. Alicia hadn’t expected this, and watched in horror as the zombie struck Katrina’s shoulder, sending her flying. She landed a few feet away, wincing in pain as she hit the floor.
The zombie, now free of its target, turned to Alicia and rushed. She froze, panicking, unsure how to react. She wasn’t a fighter, and had never been attacked like this before.
“Alicia! Barrier!” Katrina shouted.
Barely thinking, Alicia summoned another barrier, and it caught the zombie just as it had jumped at her. She saw its arms flailing, trying to reach around the sides, and she screamed as she fell to the floor herself. Katrina ran in, taking advantage of the distraction, and grabbed the zombie’s head. Pulling it back, Alicia saw her mouth open, and her impressive fangs sank into the monster’s neck. They sank deep, causing the zombie to groan in pain before finally ceasing to exist. Its body vanished in a puff of smoke, and Alicia heard several small items clatter to the ground.
Several moments passed, both girls processing their victory, and soon enough Katrina stepped closer to Alicia. She held out a hand, and Alicia eagerly accepted the assistance.
“Are you okay?” Katrina asked. “That thing was stronger than it looked.”
“Me?! You got thrown across the room! What about you?”
“Eh, I knew what I was getting myself into, and it’s not like I’ve never been in a fight before. Now c’mon, what’s your HP at?”
Alicia caved, summoning her Status. “Wow, you weren’t kidding. Sixty-eight percent, just from those two attacks.” Alicia paused, trying to catch her breath. “Can we leave now? This was way more danger than I was ready for.”
Unexpectedly, Katrina pulled Alicia in for a hug, holding her tight. “I’m so sorry, Alicia. I shouldn’t have tried to bring you down here, I just… I got so excited.”
“I-I mean, it was my idea. You can’t blame yourself for that.” Alicia felt herself blushing again, and even dared to return the hug. Her hand traced over Katrina’s back, and she grew momentarily distracted by the feeling of the Vampire’s impressive chest pushing against her own.
When Katrina pulled away from the hug, she quickly ran to grab her phone and her guitar case. Alicia, on the other hand, knelt down to the floor to examine whatever small items had fallen out of the zombie. There were a few teeth, a piece of cloth, and another item she didn’t recognize. One side of it was unusually reflective, as if it were part of a mirror, and it had jagged, uneven edges.
“Katrina,” Alicia asked, “you killed the zombie by biting it. Aren’t you not supposed to bite zombies? You’re not going to turn into one, are you?”
“Nah, monsters have their own weird rules.” Katrina, now with all her stuff, began walking to the basement staircase. “Some Dungeons will even spawn monsters that look like humans, but it’s just an act.”
The girls quickly left the basement, and Alicia sighed with relief once they were out. She moved to the front lawn and sat down, happy to be back outside. “Thanks for saving me, Katrina. That was… well, let’s just say I’m comfortable in my decision to not be a Delver.”
“Give yourself some credit! We both contributed, and we’re both alive. Well, you’re alive and I’m the right kind of dead, I suppose.” Katrina laughed, looking up into the sky, the moonlight illuminating her face. She seemed oddly exuberant, and Alicia couldn’t help but smile along with her. “Wait, did you pick up the loot? What did we get?”
“Oh, right.” Alicia was still holding everything in her hand, and she gave it to the Vampire to look it over.
“Wow, actual monster loot!” Katrina turned over the items in her hands, her eyes full of wonder. When she started looking at the last item, the strange reflective piece, she paused. “Wait, this is… oh my god.”
“What’s wrong?” Alicia slid closer out of curiosity.
“Alicia, this is a piece of the Bean.”
“Wait, THE Bean?”
Katrina nodded, apprehension appearing on her face. “It was destroyed in the Change, and everyone’s been trying to rebuild it ever since. But that means this isn’t some random Dungeon, Alicia. This is the Chicago Dungeon!”
—
Ooh the plot thickens! My biggest concern with this chapter is definitely the conversation between the two girls. This might be the longest conversation I've written, and a lot of it is fairly average stuff. I wanted to show them getting to know each other, and I feel it makes sense that so much of the conversation is pretty surface level. Still, does it read well? Does the pacing feel alright? Thanks in advance, as always!
Nyx <3
Comments
AFanofRoses
This book keeps getting better! Katrina and Alicia are such interesting characters in a fascinating setting, living pleasantly mundane lives that may or may not become more action-packed soon. It may just be my personal taste for ordinary people in extraordinary worlds, but I don't have any problems with the conversation between our Bard and Bulwark. I'd read every word in a three hundred page book that was just the two of them talking. [A bright filled the area, and soon Alicia . . .] What's a bright? Whatever it is, it sounds big. [“You don’t have a weapon! What are you going to do?!”] See, if Katrina had an electric guitar, she could melt its face off with rock and roll. [“Some Dungeons will even spawn monsters that look like humans, but it’s just an act.”] I'll remember this. Right up until it becomes relevant, at which time I won't remember this. [She had natural, bright red hair, and a generous ocean of freckles covered her face.] If this means what I'm foolish / naive enough to think it means, I'll have some choice, well-selected words to say to you. [“Is it really that bad? I mean, you seem to be doing alright now.”] You have this amazing ability to have your characters say just the right thing or ask just the right question. Sometimes when reading stories, it feels clunky to have a character have an internal dialogue, then have basically the same conversation with another person where they bring up all the same points they made to themselves earlier. In all of your stories that I've read (which I believe is most of them that you've published), I've never gotten that feeling even once. You have great skill in selecting which story elements to focus on at what time, and you should be really proud of yourself for writing such excellent stories!
Marsharbour
🫘🫘🫘 The bean is back!!! 🫘🫘🫘
