Nyx Nyghtingale
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Rough Draft - Suddenly A Succubus Ch. 27
🕑 Added 2024-09-16 18:12:38 +0000 UTC(V2) I've added more to the opening scene, giving us more time to explore the immediate aftermath of the ritual. I still montage through the week of media coverage, as that's pretty much inevitable, but I think this gives a little more connective tissue between last book and this one. I added a few extra lines at the start of the scene where Tessa and Amara are hooking up, as well.
Let me know what you think, using the usual (V2) denotation!
Nyx <3
—
The underground complex was eerily quiet. Just a few minutes earlier, the hallways had been filled with the sounds of fighting, hellfire explosions and collapsing portals. Now, Amara led the search through the myriad hallways, trying to retrace her steps back to the room she’d originally been summoned to.
“I know it’s around here somewhere, just gimme a sec,” Amara said.
“How do you not remember?” Tessa asked. “It was like, half an hour ago!”
“I was a little preoccupied trying to stop the ritual! Besides, if I’d taken the extra time to memorize the route, who knows what would have happened to you two.” They checked another room, this one as empty as the rest, and Amara groaned in frustration. She leaned up against a nearby wall, tapping her head against it as she grumbled. “Stupid cult, these hallways make no sense…”
“How about we head back to the main chamber, and start from the beginning again?” Tessa said, gesturing behind her.
“Yeah, fine, we might as well.” Amara pushed off the wall, stretching her arms high above her head. Her back cracked in a few places, and she sighed with relief. When she started walking again, she caught Vee adamantly avoiding her gaze. “Something wrong, Vee?”
“Yes! I mean, no, it’s fine, just… do you have to walk around naked like that?” Vee said, staring at a wall.
“I do, actually. Brandon made me burn my clothes. Besides, I’ve got my exoskeleton…armor… thing. That’s covering up all the important bits, right?” Amara looked down at herself, inspecting the various chitinous plates that covered her body. “Though, I suppose this is a little revealing…”
After pausing for a second, Amara manifested more blackened protective material around her body. Previously, her more sensitive areas had been covered by only the tiniest slivers of chitin, and now it looked more like she was wearing a strange bikini.
“How’s that? Better?” Amara asked.
Vee hesitated for a moment, then finally looked over at Amara. “That’s… fine, I guess.”
Amara playfully tapped Vee on the arm, then walked past her and started heading back towards the main chamber. As they walked, Tessa spoke up again. “What even is our plan here? I told you, the best thing to do is leave everything alone.”
“Tessa, dozens of people are dead!” Vee said. “And without any bodies, no one is going to know what happened. You honestly think it’s best to not do anything? Let everyone think that they simply vanished without a trace?”
“Uh, yeah! This happens all the time when magic gets involved. Shit happens.”
“Ignoring the missing people for a moment, what about the cultists that didn’t vanish?” Amara said. “There’s probably two of them around here somewhere, and Mr. Luxnor was in the cult for a while too. What if someone starts looking into the disappearance? If we do nothing, how can we ensure that those cultists don’t spill the beans about us?”
“What, you think we can convince them to play along? Why would they?” Vee asked.
“Oh, I’m not worried about that.” Amara cracked her knuckles, sparks of hellfire flying off them. “I’ll make sure of it.”
“Even if we do this,” Tessa started, “what would the cover story even be? And again, for the record, I’m against us getting involved.”
“We’re already involved, Tessa.” Vee said, rolling her eyes. “But… that’s a good point.”
The three girls went quiet for a moment, and after a few moments of silent walking, Amara spoke up. “What if we told the truth?”
“Ha! Good one!” Tessa said, laughing. “Wait, please don’t tell me you’re serious.”
“Not the whole truth, we leave out the magic parts. We wait a couple days, let everyone start to wonder about the missing people, and then the remaining cultists come forward to make a statement. They admit to being part of a cult, but say they quit after realizing that some sketchy ideas were being floated. The last thing they heard, the cult was planning some kind of trip over Thanksgiving weekend, and the assumption was that they weren’t coming back. Let everyone assume it was, like, mass suicide or something.”
“That’s… hm. I don’t hate it,” Vee said, furrowing her eyebrows as she thought. “It would be the easiest lie to spin, since it’s pretty much all true.”
“Plus,” Amara said, looking at Tessa, “It gives us a way to spit on Mr. Wellington’s legacy. He doesn’t deserve to be remembered as anything other than a slimy prick that caused the deaths of dozens of people.”
“Ooh, that’s the most convincing thing I’ve heard all night. Alright, fine, I’m in,” Tessa said.
Soon enough, with all three girls now helping, they managed to find their way back to the small chamber that Amara had been summoned to earlier tonight. Just as Amara had predicted, two of the cultists that had previously tried to take advantage of her were still inside.
They had both gotten dressed, but for some reason, hadn’t bothered doing anything else. They were both sitting on the floor, breathing heavily, and they looked up nervously as Amara entered the room. The other girls followed close behind her, and Tessa spoke up when she walked inside.
“Oh dang, I’ve seen these guys around campus. What happened to them? They look like shit.”
With a closer look, Amara saw what Tessa was referring to. Both guys were still panting, and their skin also appeared somewhat pale. It almost looked like they were sick, with slightly thinner faces and sweat on their brows.
“I mean, I fed pretty deep during the gangbang, but they deserved it,” Amara said, moving closer to Mark. She grabbed his clothes and picked up him easily, pinning him against the wall. “Alright fucker, it’s time you put in some community service. You’re going to help us cover up what really happened here, deal?”
Mark was panicking, trying to struggle against Amara’s grasp, but he clearly didn’t have the energy. “Yes! Please, I’ll do anything! Just don’t kill me!”
Amara couldn’t help but smirk at how much Mark feared her. She set him down, playfully slapping his cheek before turning to the other cultist. “You too, Chris. We’re going to work together with Mr. Luxnor, and if any of you deviate from our script… well, you boys wouldn’t do that, right?”
Mark and Chris nodded, and Amara chuckled in satisfaction.
—
Halfway through classes on Monday, Amara paid another visit to Mr. Luxnor. As both a teacher and an ex-cultist, they knew his voice would add some much-needed veracity to their story. Predictably, the teacher hadn’t been thrilled to see her again, not after she’d threatened to throw him into hell for all eternity, but Amara worked that to her advantage. She convinced him to play along, explained the plan, and left with a smile on her face.
Everyone spent a few days preparing their stories, doing their best to eliminate discrepancies. All the while, campus was growing more and more concerned over all the missing people. Rumors abounded, social media buzzed with conspiracy theories, but no one had any concrete evidence. By the end of the week, tension was high enough to finally start their plan. The three ex-cultists came forward, sharing their experiences about joining the strange cult.
The media had eaten their stories up. A cult on a college campus? Possible mass suicide? For a few days, Aurelius University had been the hot new feeding ground for a collection of vulturous news organizations. Thankfully, there were no further developments to be found; they had plenty of students willing to talk about how surprised they were, but everyone that actually knew what happened stayed far away from the cameras.
The week eventually ended, and the buzz mostly died down. After all, it was almost Christmas break, and no one wanted to deal with media gossip during finals week. One last week of stress, cramming, and all-nighters before a full month of rest, relaxation, and holidays.
For Amara, things were going surprisingly well. None of her friends had gotten hurt during the fight, and she felt more connected to her abilities than ever before. After so many weeks of being scared of herself, she had started truly embracing everything that she was. For the first time since starting her demonic puberty, she had no one threatening to enslave her, trying to kill her, or blackmailing her into getting on her knees.
At the moment, it was early afternoon, and she was happily strolling into the cafeteria. While the food wasn’t amazing, and she far preferred everything she made herself, it wasn’t terrible, and it gave her an excuse to hang out with everyone. Tessa, Chloé, Vee, and Nick already had a table, and she eagerly walked over to find herself a seat. The table seemed a little cramped, and she hesitated for a moment before Vee, of all people, stood up.
“Here, take my seat. I was just heading out anyways,” Vee said. She threw her things in her backpack, grabbed her lunch tray, and quickly walked past Amara without even looking at her.
“Let me know about tomorrow!” Chloé said, calling after Vee before she could leave earshot.
Amara dumped her things on the floor, then squeezed onto the bench and huffed in frustration. She didn’t want to say anything in front of Chloé, and instead tried to strike up small talk with everyone. “You all ready for finals?” Amara asked.
“Psh, as if,” Tessa said. “As long as I don’t flunk out, I don’t care what I get.”
“I’m just happy all the news vans are gone. They never talked to me, but it was so stressful seeing them hovering around campus like that.” Chloé had mostly finished her food and was now just picking at a brownie with her fork. “Can you guys believe it? An actual, honest-to-goodness cult? Why would anyone do something like that?”
“Probably ‘cuz they’re a bunch of lonely idiots, that’s why.” Tessa snickered to herself as she kept eating.
“C’mon Tessa, it’s never that simple,” Nick said. “We have no idea what their personal lives were like, and we might never know. Let’s just be thankful no one we knew got involved.”
Amara couldn’t laugh at the irony of the situation. They’d gotten very involved, just not in the way Nick was alluding to. “I mean, Tessa and I had a stalker for a bit, and he’s been mysteriously absent. That’s not something I’m going to complain about.” Amara saw Nick give her a look, but she didn’t pay it much attention.
“Wait, you had a stalker? Since when?” Chloé asked, leaning forward.
“It’s… a long story, and I don’t feel like going over it right now. Another time?” Amara said.
“You also don’t have to, I totally get not wanting to talk about it,” Chloé said. “Oh! I almost forgot to mention, but the charity hit its final goal last night! As much as I hated all the news people, all the extra attention on our campus meant we got another huge wave of donations!”
A wave of excitement washed over everyone present. Amara even jumped up from her spot so she could to Chloé and give her a huge hug. “Chloé! That’s incredible!!”
“What does that mean moving forward? What’s the next step?” Nick asked.
“Well, I’ve been in contact with the people that run the frat, and they’re currently wrestling with a bunch of legal nonsense. In a perfect world, the money will let us start rebuilding once the weather warms up, but there’s always a chance there might be more complications down the road.”
“Okay, but still, you made that happen Chloé!” Amara said, sitting down. “It was your app, your charity, you did this!”
“I-I mean… it was a team effort, I’m working with other programmers and stuff…” Chloé was now blushing heavily, her hair falling in front of her eyes.
“Come on, you’re the one spearheading all of this,” Tessa said. “You should do something to celebrate! Are there, like… any games you want that you could treat yourself to? I don’t know how nerds celebrate.”
“Tessa!” Amara wrapped her arm around Tessa, pulling her in and putting a hand over her mouth. “Chloé, please excuse the awful behavior of this craven individual. I’ll see to it that she’s punished appropriately.”
“She’s not wrong, it’s not like I’m the partying type… plus, I’m proud to be a nerd! I have things that make me happy, and that’s more than enough for me!”
Knowing better than to push the issue, Amara released Tessa and let the conversation steer towards other topics. Chloé shared some of the technical details that would be relevant once rebuilding started, Nick happily talked about his plans for the holidays, but most of the talk centered on their classes. Before long, it was time to pack up, and everyone left the cafeteria to go their separate ways.
Amara and Tessa ended up walking together for a bit, and Amara eagerly took the opportunity to start venting. “Did you see her? She wasn’t actually on the verge of leaving, was she?”
“Who, Vee?” Tessa asked.
“I mean, come on, she just happens to leave the instant I show up? I swear, she’s been avoiding me all week.”
“Didn’t she tell you outright that she didn’t want to be friends? I’m not at all surprised.”
“But she saved my life! I dunno, I guess I thought things might be better now.” Amara huffed, adjusting her jacket in frustration. The weather had taken a sharp downturn in recent days, so Amara was trying to fit in by wearing heavier clothes, but she hated it. She wanted to keep wearing cute shorts and crop tops, but knew she couldn’t risk people asking questions.
“Just because she stopped you from getting pulled into Hell, doesn’t mean she’s ready to be besties again.”
“Ughhh, I know. Still, I was totally right about asking her for help; we couldn’t have beaten that cult without her!” Amara jabbed Tessa in the side with her elbow.
“Yeah yeah, keep rubbing it in,” Tessa said, rolling her eyes.
“Actually…” Amara said, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I’d much rather rub something else, if you’ve got time. I don’t have anywhere to be for another hour.”
Before Tessa could even speak, Amara noticed a sizeable swell in her aura. “Fuck yeah, next class is just a review session. I can afford to skip that.”
With a devious smirk, Amara began steering the two of them back to her place, her mind racing with possibilities.
—
Amara’s lips were on Tessa’s neck before the front door had even closed. This would be the fourth time since the night of the ritual that the two of them had hooked up, each fuck just as exciting as the last. Her tail pushed the door closed, and Tessa’s clothes began undoing themselves just as her tattoos started glowing.
“Fuck, Amara… you’ve been absolutely insatiable this week. Everything okay?” Tessa said, doing her best to speak in between quiet gasps.
“Do my ears deceive me? Tessa, complaining about too much sex? Actually, wait, what’s for dinner tonight?” Amara’s shirt hit the floor, then her pants. She regretted that she couldn’t burn them all to crisp just to get into bed faster.
“Ha ha, very funny. It’s not that I’m complaining, but it’s just… I dunno, it’s odd. I keep thinking about those guys we found after the ritual, how sick they looked.” Tessa was running her hands through Amara’s hair, who quickly stopped to give Tessa a concerned look. “And it’s lentil soup, don’t give me that look.”
“Don’t tell me you feel sorry for those guys. They deserved it! They tried to enslave me!” Amara said.
“No, they totally deserved it. But… you sure that won’t happen to me?”
“Promise. I know exactly what I did, and I don’t plan on doing it to you.”
After a quick pause, Tessa smiled and nodded in reassurance. She leaned back in, kissing Amara before playfully biting her lip.
With a giggle, Amara grabbed Tessa and picked her up. The witch’s legs wrapped around her waist, resting just above her tail, and their lips met once more. Amara pushed Tessa against a wall, her kisses growing more heated, and she eagerly ran her nails down Tessa’s back. With a deep breath, she inhaled Tessa’s aura and began reading it. Surprisingly, the witch seemed to want something quieter today, her aura was nowhere near as chaotic as it normally was.
Eager to please, she carried Tessa down the hall to her bedroom, then gently laid her down on the covers. The girls continued making out for several minutes, slowly grinding against each other, the wet spots in their panties growing with each impassioned kiss.
Amara reached behind Tessa, undoing her bra and freeing her breasts, then moved down to begin tasting them. She kissed every inch, moving closer and closer to her cute nipples until she pulled them into her mouth. She bit them gently, the sound of Tessa’s moaning filling her ears as she continued. Her nails traced over Tessa’s curves, her waist, her hips, and eventually her legs. Before long, she pulled her mouth off the witch’s breasts and looked into her eyes.
“You know, there’s still something I haven’t tried yet,” Amara said, softly biting her lip.
“I do love experimenting, what were you thinking?”
“I was thinking that you’re the only girl I’ve slept with, and we’ve never sixty-nined. I think that’s actually illegal.”
“To be fair, I love feeling your tail deep in my cunt, but that requires different positions. By all means, climb aboard!” Tessa licked her own lips eagerly, and Amara responded by quickly pulling off the rest of the lingerie the two of them were wearing. She planted one knee next to Tessa’s head, and then straddled her face.
Amara moaned with pleasure as she pushed her pussy against Tessa’s waiting mouth. She had gotten so used to being aggressive, to using her tail to fuck Tessa senseless, that she’d forgotten how skilled her friend’s tongue was. Amara rolled her hips back and force, fucking herself on Tessa’s tongue, and she almost forgot to start returning the favor. Thankfully, another healthy helping of the witch’s aura reminded her what she wanted.
Leaning forward, Amara laid down on Tess, her shapely breasts pushing against the witch’s stomach. She continued being a tease for another minute, biting and kissing Tessa’s thighs, but eventually she caved to her desires.
Tessa’s clit was absolutely delicious. Amara pulled it into her mouth, sucking it gently while her tongue went to work. Tessa began twitching with pleasure, her excitement obvious even without Amara’s ability to read auras. Knowing that Tessa loved penetration, Amara lightly traced her fingers up Tessa’s thigh’s, circling her entrance. Just when Tessa couldn’t take it anymore, Amara pushed her fingers inside, gently starting to fuck her friend with them.
Behind Amara, Tessa was happily returning the favor. Amara twitched and gasped as Tessa played with her clit, massaging her ass all the while. Every few seconds, Tessa would pull Amara’s hips lower to push her tongue inside Amara’s went cunt, and it was driving Amara wild.
Amara wrapped her arms around Tessa’s legs, holding them tight as she continued finger fucking her. Nearly ten minutes passed of them eagerly pleasuring each other, moaning and gasping as they both tried new things. Amara continued to work more fingers into Tessa’s eager cunt, and the witch responded by starting to play with Amara’s tight asshole. Already soaking wet from being in Amara’s pussy, Tessa’s fingers slipped easily inside her tightest hole, where she began picking up the pace to try and push Amara over the edge.
Through the witch’s aura, Amara could tell she was close to cumming. She’d been feeding the entire time, happily taking in every ounce of pleasure she could, but she was careful not to take too much.
On the night of the ritual, Amara had discovered a way to push inside a person’s aura, giving her access to an even deeper well of energy. The process had been electrifying, but it was something that Amara was a little scared of. The most prevalent fact about succubi in all the literature she’d read was that they could steal souls through sex. She desperately hoped she wasn’t doing this with Nick and Tessa, and in her opinion, the evidence was on her side. They seemed fine, even after weeks of fucking, but she worried about unlocking this ability and somehow accidentally using it on a friend.
Today, as with every other time she’d slept with Tessa, she was more than happy to merely take what she needed.
As Tessa started cumming, the shared pleasure Amara could feel through their connection pushed her over the edge as well. Both girls tensed, their bodies shaking as a powerful orgasm rushed through them. Amara, out of habit, wrapped her tail around Tessa’s neck and head, holding her in place as they rode out their orgasms together.
As the excitement faded, and Amara cut herself off from Tessa’s aura, she heard the sounds of snapping fingers behind her. In a panic, she removed her tail from the witch’s neck and quickly turned to face her.
“Are you okay?! What happened?” Amara asked.
Tessa quickly sat up, holding her chest as she began coughing. She took a few deep breaths, stole some water from Amara’s nightstand, then finally responded. “Fuck, that was… that was great, but your tail got pretty tight while you were cumming.”
Moving carefully, Amara leaned in and wrapped her arms around Tessa’s shoulders. “Fuck, I’m sorry Tess. I could tell you wanted something quieter today, but I’m so used to you liking it rough. I guess I got a little carried away, huh?”
“Wait, what? You can tell what kind of sex I want?” Tessa asked in surprise.
“Did I forget to mention that? Ever since the night of the ritual, I’ve got a lot more insight into what people want. Your aura seemed… how to describe it… it was quieter, less chaotic.”
“Huh, wild.” Tessa took another drink of water, then laid back down. “You ever think about your old self? How much you’ve changed?”
“All the time! I was in a fucking gangbang last week, and old me couldn’t even handle being flirted with. Though, it’s weird; even though I know how much I’ve changed, it also feels really natural? Like this was always who I am, I just didn’t have a way to express it without knowledge of my demonic side.”
“That’s… huh. From my point of view, it’s like you’ve become a totally different person. Though, honestly, I’m still getting used to how you’re perfectly designed for sex. You cum when your partner cums, you can see exactly what they want, it’s crazy.”
Amara shifted down on the bed, then cuddled up to Tessa, resting her head on her chest. “I mean, I don’t know exactly what you want. It’s a little more general, like if you want something rough or something passionate. One of the guys in the gangbang, believe it or not, was a sadist. He was most turned on when he thought he was hurting me. At the end of the day, even though I have lots of information to work with, I still have to talk to my partners. Or, at the very least, try a few different things and gauge their reactions.”
After a few more minutes of cuddling, Amara’s phone went off. Tessa grabbed it off the nightstand, handing it to the demon, who silenced the alarm.
“Ugh, I need to get ready for classes. I’m so fucking sick of wearing clothes,” Amara said.
“Who says you have to? I’ll bet half the campus is dying to see you naked at this point.” Tessa stood up, cracking her back as she started hunting for her clothes that had been scattered all over the apartment. “Actually, no. Probably more like seventy-five percent. That photoshoot you did really got people talking.”
“Yeah? You think so?”
“I know so! I’ve had multiple people come up to me asking for an introduction. You’re the talk of the town, madam succubus.”
Amara thought about Tessa’s words as they both got dressed. It had only been a few weeks since she started selling her photos, and she’d only done the photoshoot to try and avoid Brandon’s blackmail attempt. She had never considered that exposing herself like that might make her popular. She had a bad habit of getting lost in her own thoughts as she walked around campus, especially when they’d been dealing with the cult, but now she wondered if she should start keeping an eye out.
I’m not technically dating Tessa or Nick, maybe it’s time I expanded my little circle of fuck buddies…
—
For the rest of the day, Amara traveled campus with a new outlook. In the past, she’d gotten used to ignoring everyone else whenever she walked around, but there had also been frustration at the need to hide her demonic features. Tessa’s comments had reminded her that, as proud as she was of her tail, horns, and wings, the rest of her was just as alluring. She thought back to her gangbang, how she’d reveled in the feeling of three different people practically worshipping her, and realized that she might be able to have that again whenever she wanted.
Rather than keeping her headphones in, or scrolling through her socials, Amara walked around with newfound confidence. After her conversation with Tess, she’d decided to dress up a little, to ignore the slightly colder weather and embrace her appearance. Her cleavage was prominent, and her jeans were tightly cupping her ass, as she held her head high.
The difference was night and day. Not only did she catch dozens of people staring at her, but through her aura reading, she caught dozens more. By looking for the reflection of her own aura, she was able to tell exactly when someone was checking her out, and she’d lost count before getting to her first class.
She caught men offering to hold open doors just for an excuse to check out her ass. A lesbian couple in one of her classes seemed incredibly interested in her, and with her demonic hearing, she could tell they were debating if they should ask her out together. Teachers seemed more eager to call on her, and women were biting at chances to compliment her outfit; everyone seemed to have a clever scheme to try and steal a few minutes of her time.
Amara had finished classes, and was crossing the quad to head home, when she was approached yet another new person. In the midst of all the attention she’d been getting today, however, this person seemed different; Amara didn’t see herself reflected in this woman’s aura. The stranger had dark brown skin, with well-fitting jeans and a loose, flowing green top. Her short, black hair was incredibly curly, with the ends of it dyed red, and it sat loosely tied together on top of her head. Her face was slightly narrow, with big, expressive eyes that seemed filled with purpose.
“Excuse me, Amara, right?” the stranger asked.
“That’s me! What can I help you with?” Amara said, slowing down to talk.
“My name is Naomi, and I was hoping you’d be able to help with a school project I’m working on.”
“What kind of project?” Amara was still buzzing from all the attention and assumed it would be something fun. Perhaps modeling or something similar?
“Well, I’m majoring in Investigative Journalism, and I’m trying to put together a piece about cult mentality. What drives people to join such an organization, especially one that, apparently, had such horrifying end goals in mind.”
As much as she tried to hide it, Amara was fairly sure her disappointment was obvious. “Um, no offense, but I’m a little worn-out hearing about all of that.”
“Look, I completely understand your hesitation, but I promise I’m not looking to write empty, sensationalist tabloid articles. This is just a school project; it’s not even going to get published anywhere.”
Amara sighed in defeat. She didn’t want to argue with anyone, and hopefully if she feigned ignorance Naomi would lose interest in her opinion. “Alright, fair enough. Ask whatever you want, but I’m not sure how helpful I’ll be.”
“Do you mind if I record this?” Naomi pulled out her phone, opening an app before looking at Amara, who shrugged and shook her head. “Thanks! It’s so much easier than trying to write notes. So, first question: how did you know Brandon Nowak?”
“Brandon? We didn’t know each other at all, and he desperately wanted to change that. He… asked me out, I turned him down, and he started stalking me.”
“So, you wouldn’t be able to offer any insight into behavioral changes? Perhaps a time frame, or a specific event, that pushed him over the edge?” Naomi was hanging on Amara’s every word, and seemed to be referring to notes on her phone every few seconds.
Oh, of course, he was promised immense magical power and thought he could use it to enslave me. You know, usual stalker stuff.
“Nope, sorry.”
“Drat. Okay, that’s fine. What about Professor Luxnor?”
The name of that specific teacher coming up made Amara hesitate for a moment. To her knowledge, everything that had happened between her and Mr. Luxnor had stayed under the radar. “What about him? I never took any of his classes.”
“But did you ever talk with him? See him around? Maybe visit him during office hours?”
Amara shook her head. “Nothing like that.”
Naomi paused for a moment, giving Amara a strange look before continuing. “Hm… when did you first hear about the cult? Or, even if you didn’t know about, did you notice anything strange before all the news broke last week?”
“Not really, I’ve had a lot of personal stuff going on.”
There was another pause, during which Naomi seemed to skim over more of her notes. “Right, you’ve had a few sick weeks the last couple months.”
How does she know that?
“Uh… yeah. What does that have to do with anything?” Amara asked.
“Oh, nothing really. Students just like to talk, and… well, I’m sure you’ve seen all the attention you’re getting. People tend to notice when you’re not around.”
“Still getting used to that, honestly. I do need to be off, unless you needed anything else?” Amara said, pulling out her phone and checking her texts.
“That’s it! That wasn’t so bad, right? You have a great day, Amara!” Naomi flashed a bright smile, then stopped her phone recording and took off. As she left, Amara couldn’t help but wonder if this was someone they should start keeping tabs on.
Calm down, Amara. Brandon approached you multiple times in very public places, it’s not weird that she thought we knew each other. Still, Mr. Luxnor… I can’t imagine why she would think we’d ever talked. Does she know more than she’s letting on?
Much of Amara’s earlier elation had been tempered by the strange questions Naomi had been asking. At the moment, however, she decided it was nothing to worry about. After stopping the cult, and nearly getting dragged into Hell, a pesky almost-reporter was the least of her worries. She found herself fixating on some of Naomi’s words, about how people notice when she’s not around.
Even though Amara hadn’t seen herself reflected in Naomi’s aura, that didn’t mean Amara’s newfound popularity wasn’t a factor in her being singled out for an interview. She happily let her mind wander to earlier today, to everyone that had been bending over backwards just to find a way to talk with her.
As she neared her home, she even started to wonder if she should start doing photoshoots more often. The attention had felt great, it was wonderful to feel so wanted. Today alone, five people had asked her out, though she hadn’t decided if she wanted to give any of them a shot. Still, no reason not to look, right?
That night, lying in bed, Amara began flipping through the social media profiles of everyone that had mustered the strength to approach her. What did she want in a fuck buddy? For that matter, what did she want in a partner? Was it time to start looking for an actual romantic interest? The thought caught her by surprise. Life had been so hectic these last few months, there hadn’t been time to think about anything but all the supernatural nonsense complicating her life.
Amara didn’t feel particularly lonely, and she was having plenty of sex. Weren’t those the two biggest reasons people tried to find relationships?
Even if I wanted a serious relationship at some point, I’d have to tell them about my demonic side eventually. If I don’t, that’s a huge barrier between us, but if I do, would I risk scaring someone off?
She plugged in her phone, setting it on the nightstand before pulling her covers over her. Conflicting thoughts of sex, love, and relationships tumbled around in her head, and she tried to find a way to piece them all together. When she finally fell asleep, she hadn’t gotten any closer to finding a solution.
—
Waking up the next morning, Amara felt amazing. As confusing as her thoughts had been last night, there was no denying the thrill of being one of the most sought-after girls on campus. With a heavy yawn, she stretched all her limbs as far as she could, when she noticed something odd; her covers weren’t on her bed any longer.
Weird, I must have kicked them off. Not the first time, I suppose. Wait, shit, what time is it? I never heard my alarm go off!
Amara sat up quickly, sliding across her bed to reach for her nightstand, when she realized her phone wasn’t there. Neither was her charging cable. In fact, a lot of things seemed to be missing; her covers weren’t just missing from the bed, they were missing entirely. Her closet was empty, her drawers were barren, and even a few pieces of small furniture had vanished.
As she continued searching for any signs of her stuff, she also noticed that the room seemed somewhat lifeless. The colors were muted, and everything seemed a little fuzzy. It reminded her of how the world looked when she had gone a week without sex, the longest she’d ever managed since her transformation started.
With a snap of her fingers, she summoned a ball of hellfire. The flames appeared without hesitation, and when she focused, she could still feel her inner fire burning bright. Clearly, the issue wasn’t with her.
Okay, what the actual fuck is going on?
She ran out of her bedroom, hoping to find that this was all a prank or something, but found only more confusing evidence. Her bathroom, kitchen, and living room were all just as devoid of stuff as her bedroom. Other than the pajamas on her body, everything she owned had completely vanished.
Amara walked outside, deciding she needed to find Tessa, or possibly Nick, to see if they might know what was going on. However, leaving her apartment proved just as disorienting. Despite having slept in, which normally meant waking up close to eleven, the sky was gray and lifeless, devoid of both sun and clouds. An eerie twilight hung over campus, casting everything in dull, washed-out hues, and everything stood perfectly still. There was no wind to shake the trees, no chirping birds, no sounds of traffic.
Most disturbing of all, there were no people. As far as Amara could tell, the entire campus was deserted, and she was completely alone.
—
It's time to start digging in to Book Three! I'm starting to notice a trend; the first chapters seem to always come in a little short. I think this makes sense, I just need to check in on what's been happening since last chapter, and start laying seeds for what's to come. I've got a bunch of fun ideas I'm excited to explore, and that all starts here!
Does it feel like I gave enough time to following up after the events of last chapter? It's honestly something I didn't want to linger too much, but obviously I wanted an explanation of how our girls wrapped everything up. I sometimes worry that other people might be more interested in story beats that don't speak to me as much, so hopefully there's no disconnect there. Please let me know if it feels like anything needs a bit more time or attention.
Stepping back a bit, I'm happy with the beats I'm setting up here. Amara saw a lot of dramatic personality changes last chapter, but she was also overflowing with too much energy. Here, I wanted to show that those changes are sticking around, but in a slightly more manageable way. She doesn't need a gangbang every day to survive, but she's definitely got a bigger ego now. Through her interactions with Tessa, I wanted to stress that Amara's been feeding more. Is that necessary? Is she just extra horny now? Only time will tell :P
I'm also glad I was able to showcase the complicated relationship between Vee and Amara. It was quick on purpose, but all I wanted to stress was that Vee has been avoiding Amara. Easy enough.
We also get a new character! I hope you like Naomi, she was a relatively late addition to the outline, but I think she'll end up filling a crucial role in the narrative. I won't say if that's a big or a small role, but I'm always excited to add more supporting characters. That being said, I rewrote her interview with Amara a couple times, so please let me know if anything seems oddly paced there.
And finally, we end with some mysterious bullshit. I'm extremely happy with how this part turned out, I think it's a great hook.
(Side note. I normally write on my tablet, and I had a few lines of text disappear for no reason. I think I caught them all, but if anything seems weird, that might be why.)
Lastly, this is going to be the last chapter that gets published on my quicker timetable. It's going live to Patrons this Friday, 9/20. After that, I'm back to a normal, every other week posting schedule.
Thanks in advance for all your wonderful thoughts! You all are the best!
Nyx <3
Comments
Gerald Ferguson
He later learns that by doing so he missed out on a lot of goods things in life.
Gerald Ferguson
I am glad it wasnt taken as cruel because that certainly was not what I was aiming for. I think you pretty much addressed it there....it felt like busy work... which, to me at least, means there is a problem that needs some attention. I believe that every scene should have the same fire and passion put into it as the others. When its not there it shows and then we need to ask ourselves "what picture am I trying to paint?" Or "does it really need to be there?" What I personally like is when you draw us into your world and make us a part of it where we can stand in the middle of it amd see it unfold all around us. There is.an Adam Sandler movie called Click where he has a remote that he can use to fast forward through parts of his life that dont interest him. You see it depicted by rapid blur of events that happen all around him.
Nyx Nyghtingale
Lots of great feedback, as always. Regarding the frequency of chapters, you actually will be getting chapter 28 next week. Since Rough Drafts are always a chapter ahead, that's the next step in my posting schedule. However, with the chapter, it won't go live to Patrons until two weeks later, just like normal.
Nyx Nyghtingale
It's only harsh criticism if you're being mean about it, and I didn't any cruelty in your words :) This chapter happened to be a lot of firsts for me. Primarily, the first time I've had a large-scale conflict that the general public would notice. I knew right away that I didn't want to ignore it entirely; dozens of faculty and students have vanished, and that's going to be noticed no matter what our main characters do. I've mentioned this before, but when I write, sometimes it's hard to know how things will play out until I commit to a decision and see it through to the end. With this chapter, my two choice were either to address it simply and quickly, like I did in this draft, or give it significantly more weight and attention. The one thing I knew I absolutely wanted was the end the chapter with this specific cliffhanger. I always like using the end of the first chapter to set the stage, and I'm happy with how that worked here as well. When I'm asking about pacing, it's often because people experience stories in different ways. Personally, I was more inclined to summarize the cult-cleanup events as they felt kind of like busywork to me. However, I'm just one person, and I'm always aware that certain events might be more interesting to other people. As a great example, I always think back to the 12th chapter of the first book; I once had someone accuse me of padding the runtime, adding an entire chapter that served absolutely no purpose, whereas I think it's one of the most important chapters in the entire series. Regarding Mr. Luxnor, he was brought in because he was an active member of the cult for quite a while. He had already been given bits of magic enhancement, and had actively helped disrupt some of the circles on campus. Amara's actions forced him out just before the ritual, but he still knew quite a lot about what was happening. The reference to their hooking up was simply a callback to their interactions from last Book, they've never hooked up a second time. I'll take a second look at everything from the first part of the chapter, and see if I like the feeling of spending a bit more time there.
Gerald Ferguson
To expand a lil further here. The conversatiom with the two cultists could really set the tone not just as part of the cleanup but for future interactions. The gentler one would likely be crushing on Amara and could be a lovesick puppy popping up ag random moments while Mark I dont feel would back off that easy. I get the feeling we havent seen last of cult and when you add in the interaction with Mr. Luxnor it could easily foreshadow future conflict. Speaking Mr. Luxnor, it felt off that he was brought back in. He rwally had no part in the cult. He was just a horny professor banging a student. Why would Amara even deal with him after their last interaction? What was said or done or negotiated that helps bring a close or plant the seeds for the future? There was a hint that their was.....interactions but why? Why would Amara even agree to or allow it from him considering how she felt about the professor taking advantage of a student? In my opinion the first several paragraphs need to be the opening chapter or just eliminated and start with Amara walking up to her friends. Again, you are a talented and amazing writer...quality is sooo much better than keeping a self imposed pace. I would rather see you build and flesh out your world versus rushing to meet deadlines.
Gerald Ferguson
So this might sound harsh and I apologize if it does. To me the first seberal paragraphs just felt like lazy writing, an after thought that almost felt forced to bridge the two books. Honestly it should be a chapter on its own so that it shows the aftermath of the cultists and what everyone is dealing with up through the conversation with the friends. That would really set the tone for the book moving forward. The 2nd half would pick up where Tessa and Amara do their thing and you could give it justice. It just felt rushed. Then you would also have more room to really set the stage with Amara waking up in what felt like the upside down type feel from stranger things. So in the end I think your personal review had already put in your own head what I stated. If you started questioning it and feeling it then so will a lot of readers. This felt very rushed, maybe trying to keep lace with your cadence. I would rather see you use your amazing creative talents then just do a Laurel K Hamilton speed write.
AFanofRoses
It was a very pleasant surprise to have another Rough Draft so soon! I saw in your closing statement that you're going back to a more relaxed release schedule, and as much as I want to know everything right now, it's nice that the frantic rush for Literotica is over. Time to answer your questions. This first chapter is shorter, but I didn't see anything that needs to be expanded upon. The cult business is wrapped up neatly. Almost too neatly, but realistically, how hard is it to believe a cover story about a cult when the reality is that there was a cult doing something worse? Let the reporters come in for a week and tire themselves out so you can get on with telling your story. The bit with Tessa seeing Amara as a totally different person is extremely valid. As I see it, part of Amara still thinks that she's largely the same quiet, introverted, nervous person she was before this all started. That just doesn't mesh with the reality of wearing revealing clothes for the effect her body has on strangers or making love with Tessa several times in a week. Amara's personality is changing, and that seems to be one of the central themes of this Book. While my first impression of Naomi is positive, I'm pretty suspicious of her. I agree with Amara that her questions seemed uncannily informed, but I can't guess what her role will be in the larger context of this Book. Maybe she is just a student who wants answers and she won't be more than that. I suspect that she'll be a substantial contributor to the story, but I don't know if she'll help our heroes or antagonize them. Hopefully both. This mysterious bullshit may be the most mysterious set of bullshit yet. My leading guesses are that 1) The portal used by the cult and "blasted open" by Tessa is letting in some otherworldly forces, 2) Amara's dreamwalking has evolved in some strange, grey way, or 3) Some person or entity is singling out Amara for some reason, and their best way to do that is to isolate her in an alternate dimension kind of scenario, possibly a dream. 4) Amara ate a dinner that was rich in garlic, which for some reason usually gives me very detailed dreams, and that may be a sign that I, too, am a demon. All options seem equally likely. Unlike the mistake I found in this chapter. [. . . when she was approached yet another new person.] There is no 'by' in this sentence. Could this be a way to let us know that Naomi isn't bi? Very curious indeed. That's the only thing I found. You mentioned that some lines of text disappeared and you had to re-write them, but I didn't notice anything else out of the ordinary. [Thanks in advance for all your wonderful thoughts! You all are the best!] That's correct, we are.
