Nyx Nyghtingale
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Suddenly A Succubus Ch. 42 - Reflection
🕑 Added 2025-04-30 17:00:16 +0000 UTCThe start of this chapter could have gone in a few different directions. One of the tricky things about writing is deciding what to do with situations that might call for redundant conversations. Like, I'm not going to have Amara give a full recap of her entire conversation with Evelyn, the audience was already there for that. However, if I completely skip over her sharing all her news with her friends, we don't get to see their reaction.
What I've sometimes done in the past, and what I think a lot of authors do, is to just skim over the recap, maybe showing the last line or something. I almost do that, but I show the start of the conversation as well. I figured it would be important to see what Amara feels are the most important facts from her talk with Evelyn.
There are upsides and downsides to both. The biggest upside is, obviously, a tighter story that doesn't repeat itself. This also lets us show a bit of characterization by letting each character focus on different things, which tells us about them.
Like, Nick got crazy excited about Amara's dad, but after the whole recap, he immediately asks Amara how she's feeling about everything. Vee seems pretty surprised about the direct tie to Lilith, but pivots to trying to comfort Amara. We might assume this means that no particular piece of information is blowing her mind, or she'd be freaking out about that.
Downsides are that we can't see all the characters thoughts about everything that was learned. For example, does Vee have any opinions about learning that Anubis actually exists?
Cards on the table, Vee's lack of a response on that front might also be a blind spot of my own. I am not, and never have been, a very religious person. There's a version of Vee that's more religious overall, but that's a story that would be more difficult for me to write. As it stands, now that she's accepted her Church is wrong about some things, her own personal religious beliefs tend not to come up as frequently. I'm sure that could be interesting to write, but I think it's a but too far outside of my own lived experience.
Anyways, back to the recap discussion. Another thing I think about pretty frequently are what strengths I have as an author. Book One was a pretty slow story, and there was a bunch of fun, cute downtime with Amara and Nick. That kind of downtime is something we haven't been able to see as much as in Books Two and Three, but I know those types of scenes are a lot of fun for both myself and you lovely readers.
I feel my character writing is my biggest strength, after all, and I'm always hyper-aware when I'm not giving my characters as much time to shine. A big part of crafting these stories, something I'm always thinking about when I'm putting together outlines, is the balance between character beats and larger plot events.
Obviously there's a huge overlap there, and this is often very easy. Book One was entirely character focused, which was great. Book Two, however, had an evil cult that needed stopping. I had to think about how to balance Amara and Tessa looking into the cult while not robbing them of fun character moments.
Book Three had the benefit of "I locked my characters in a room together and they had no choice but to finally talk." I wasn't super worried about lack of character stuff there. Book Four, on the other hand, is a pretty dense book. I've never written antagonists with as much depth or screentime as I have in this book, and it's taking a lot of thought to balance showing them against spending time with out characters,
I'm still finding plenty of time to show off character stuff, so I'm not worried about it, but it's something I think about often. In fact, the density of this book is leading to some longer chapters overall. Chapter 43, which I've already written and has been gifted to my Beta Readers, is the second-longest chapter I've ever written.
Speaking of Tessa's Coven, however, it's time to finally meet them!
The next scene made me pretty nervous. Like I said two paragraphs ago, I've never written antagonists as varied and complex as this Coven. I had to put in a ton of behind the scenes work to figure out who all the Coven Heads were, what they look like, and how they feel about the events befalling them.
I'll admit, I was pretty nervous spending so much time on physical descriptions. I know that picturing characters can be tough for some people, and I suspect it's only more difficult when I introduce this many new characters at once. I tried to give them each simple, easy-identifiable traits, and I'll also be describing them again as they come up in the future.
This whole scene was meant to be both incredibly tense and somewhat revealing. My hope was that, in reading this chapter (especially after Davenport's actions last time), the audience will realize exactly why Tessa has been so nervous about her Coven getting involved.
Wellington was egotistical, Brandon was petty and cruel, and I wanted Headmistress Davenport to feel much more restrained. She's strict, and perhaps a little cruel, but not excessively so. She forces Tessa to admit her failings, and more importantly, forces Tessa to admit responsibility for things that arguably weren't entirely under her control. Davenport also stays calm while arduously asking the other Coven Heads is they ever received a report, which to me feels like she's purposely prolonging the proceedings and rubbing Tessa's negligence in a little bit.
I also think (well, I hope) that it's incredibly telling how Tessa's personality change when she's around her coven. She speaks differently, she's soft-spoken, she's timid, and doesn't bother standing up for herself. Personally, I'm very happy with how I've introduced this Coven, and I think it's a great example of showing vs. telling, which is something I can struggle with.
I also tried to start hinting at the personalities of the other Coven Heads. They're all different people after all, and the more varied they are, the more complex this antagonistic Coven becomes. Gautier seems eager to excessively punish Tessa, whereas Bishop defends her. Tsopnang reminds everyone of the bigger picture.
And who's this Imani girl? She's a more relatable age, and even offers sympathies to Tessa. She seems nice.
After we're finished with Tessa's Coven however, we get to have some fun! I mentioned earlier how much I love quiet character moments, and this whole scene is a perfect example of that.
I could go on and on for ages about how much I adore this scene, but I think this recap is getting long enough already. Vee just keeps doing everything she can to cheer Amara up, and our lovely succubus seems determined to be a buzzkill about everything.
I think it's already been pretty obvious that Amara's not in a great place; I open the book with her exploding a punching bag, after all. It's something I've stressed a few times already, and here we get to dig into a slightly different side of her. In chapter one, she's mostly just angry. She's violent, she's scaring off the other students, things like that. The point of this scene was to show that her foul mood isn't just from being forced to go to boring meetings, it's a pretty significant problem. Here she is, spending a whole night with her best friend, and she barely seems to care. To add insult to injury, her attempt at flying fizzles out yet again.
Looks like Vee's forgiveness wasn't quite enough to shake Amara out of her PTSD, sadly.
Let's hope Amara can turn things around soon!
Nyx ♥
Comments
Nyx Nyghtingale
I'm sure this series about young women discovering their identities, and gaining the courage to stand up for their true selves, is completely unrelated to whatever Tessa's going through.
Nyx Nyghtingale
We'll definitely be learning more about the Coven, and its various members, in later chapters! There's always a chance the villains feel even more villainous as time goes on :P As for the price of education at Aurelius University, I'm not sure I can make it free, as wonderful as that would be. Amara has gone on record as saying that she worked really hard to get good scholarships, which would imply that at least *some* money is necessary to go there. I'll bet they've got really great scholarships and rewards that ensure a large, healthy, and diverse student base, however!
Patrick
I think you could have leaned into the change of Tessa's behaviour even more. When reading it, I was reminded at being in a toxic work environment. There could be more insincerity from other's towards the council and moments of catharsis with other coven members sharing a similar fate with Tessa. Also, there is one thing I would wish from my dear author. Could education be free at Aurelian?
AFanofRoses
On the topic of "it's tough to remember the physical appearance of many new characters," I as a reader put a lot of importance on the way their actions are described. I don't exactly remember Coven Head Gautier's facial structure, hair style, or clothing choices, but her "predatory smile" puts a very vivid image in my head (whether the vision is accurate to your intended appearance or not) of the flavor of character she is, and that does a lot of heavy lifting for my mental image of her. You're also crushing it when it comes to Tessa acting differently in front of her Coven. Almost like it's some kind of metaphor about leaving a toxic environment to flourish away from them, but every time you need to go back you become that scared kid again. If only I could connect the dots between such a moral and this story about a young woman transitioning into a demon.
