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Chapter 123: Adventurers Vs. Onnikais. [Release Version]

🕑 Added 2020-12-03 00:27:15 +0000 UTC

Comments

Understandable about the warp point portals. I’ll make it clearer. Yeah, i should put more details about Omnictus. Considering she gained this spell a while ago but hasn’t used it yet.

I can do that. How would you imagine the transition from last chapter to this one? Should i write something at the end of last chapter like this: “Goddess Aurena has sent you two Divine Champion Quests” and then I’ll reveal the titles of the Quest at the beginning of this chapter?

- Hmm, understandable. - Maybe, i should have been more specific? I did mention there was a hallway before the boss chamber in the last chapter. First draft. - I am aware. Hestia didn’t complain about the cost specifically, but she complained about how unpleasant it was to lose that much mana at once.

Actually, it was at the end of the previous chapter.

Andy

Divine quests? Thats new. Probably from a previously edited chapter.

Philippe Boulanger

Overall, I really liked the tempo of this fighting chapter. The boss fight (except the shadow garms) seems a bit anti climatic but storywise it make sense since the boss was ethereal with the element shadow which make sense that it is super weak against the powerful holy magic of Hestia (and even Hestia say it herself that if felt anti climatic), and it was only the first stage of the boss. The spell [warp point: exit] was a bit ambiguous about the position of the exit since it was not mentioned before. On another aspect, I personally have no problem with two cliff hangers in a row, but I can understand why some people don’t like it. I would have like a bit more detailed on the last spell [omnictus] though, like did it left a crater or is everything, except shadow element, preserve (like the forest)?

Kevin Caffrey

Not a big fan of the repeated cliff. The last chapter ended on the cliff of “new quest” but the quest was completely ignored until the same cliff at the end of last chapter. Maybe just move the last couple of lines from the last chapter into this one? It would make the transition smoother too, I was a little confused at the start of this chapter.

Imp

Overall, I rather liked it. A few things that bothered me, though. - Hestia had knowledge of the quest, made references several times to it, but we never saw it. I see the mention at the end, but the references were a bit annoying to me; I don't like the first person perspective hiding stuff from the reader while dangling it like that. - After casting Warp Point: Exit, the garm showed up was really fast. I don't recall seeing where the other end was placed. Was it just outside the room? I haven't reread 122 yet, so did I miss something, or? I'm a bit confused. “Urgh…The mana cost is no joke…” >> She's in the sunlight now, so worrying about mana costs feels a bit silly, given her Core.


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