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Chapter 254: Mother and Daughter Talk. [Release Version]
🕑 Added 2021-12-10 22:39:55 +0000 UTCEdit: Added Hestia's profile update
Edit 2: Change to Hestia's monologue in the ending and her talk with mother about war. Give thoughts, please.
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“Kriiash kraf shkiee kel! Pfeitrei, sister, oh, where art thou and thy insight, for my eyes weep at my ignorance.”
Melloxtressa was crying and speaking carelessly as she downed another shot of sake before pouring more for herself. This by itself wasn’t strange — a woman got drunk and continued drinking without restraint. However, the problem was how her silver powder had frozen the area around her table and was starting to affect the rest of the hunter’s guildhall.
“Argh, Yorshka, stop her already! Her Imperial Majesty will destroy my guild and the whole city if you don’t!” Muraina shouted at Yorshka before turning her head around to the adventurers and guild staff. “All of you, if you don’t want to freeze to death, get the hell out of the guild!”
With that single command, everybody quickly left the guild except for a specific few people — myself along with Saori, Yorshka, and Rajah.
Muraina then erected a few [Air Shield]s around me and the others while Saori told Rajah to jump back into her shadow. Yorshka then sent out her scale’s silver powder to form a shield to ward off the freezing aura of Melloxtressa’s powder. Once she made sure everybody was safe, Yorshka [Gale Steps] towards the drunk dragon empress.
“W-What’s going on?!” I questioned Saori and Muraina about the situation.
“O-Oh, well, you know, we were just having some fun—” Saori stumbled over her own words before Muraina immediately skipped over it.
“The four of us went out to drink to cheer up Her Imperial Majesty. Dragons cannot hold their liquor very well and, while Yorshka assured us it would be okay, this disaster happened. That’s about it, Hestia. So, before your mo— Empress Melloxtressa destroys the city, could we rely on your help to calm her down?”
“Your dragon mother drank herself into a depression because of what you said to her, and now please would you cozy up to her so she doesn’t kill everybody and usher in an ice age?” was what I understood. Was any of this really my fault to begin with? Yes, while I could have said things more nicely, she couldn’t have expected that I would just jump into her lap and we would play mother-daughter, right? A ridiculous notion.
… Still, it wasn’t like I couldn’t see her anguish.
“M-Matriarch!” Yorshka shouted, trying to gain Melloxtressa’s attention.
“Hmm?” She placed the bottle of rice wine on the table and looked at Yorshka.
“Your daughter! We brought your daughter, Matriarch!” Yorshka pointed at me, prompting Melloxtressa to turn to me. “You wanted a proper talk with your daughter Hestia, right? Well, here she is. So, please, it is getting too cold for everybody to handle. I ask you if you could reabsorb the released powder.”
Her pleading seemed to have gotten to Melloxtressa, as the powder around seemed to have calmed down, but any progress was stopped as more tears began to drop from her eyes.
“M-My whelpling. Young one, look, she’s supposed to only be a year old, but she-she already has a humanoid form. I didn’t get the chance to help her form it, huec!” she lamented. “A whole year! A whole year of her entire existence and I missed it all! I wasn’t even there. All the preparations and all I did was sit in my cave, weeping and feeling sorry for myself instead of turning the planet upside downlooking for her.”
… Urgh, please, stop.
The moment I heard that, it struck the daughter inside me. I could sympathize with her, since those words came from a genuinely worried mother, something that, if I were her daughter, I would appreciate very much. Well, the problem for me was that she actually was my mother.
I felt bad for her. She was drunk, right? So these words were her actual emotions and feelings without any kind of filter, and it became harder and harder to watch as she continued drinking. But, on the other hand, all of this was ‘cause of me. She began to feel all this sorrow starting from when I went missing, and during the entire one year I’ve been in this world, I haven’t even given her or my dragon father a single good thought.
In fact, I was mostly apathetic to anything concerning them until Yorshka fully explained to me about Melloxtressa's situation. Cernust told me just how much of an uproar my egg being lost was to the dragonewts, but that was more politics than personal feelings. I was one of their princesses, so patriotism was their motivator and not any personal connection to me.
It was an “Oh shit, I shouldn’t get Artorias involved” thought. I was more worried about Artorias getting hammered down by zealous dragonewts if something were to happen to me; although, now that I thought about it, my actions didn’t exactly take that worry into consideration perfectly. Maybe I was just the type of girl who didn’t think of the consequences and just went along with what I wanted to do. King Drangleic did scold me after I entered Shaturein, endangering myself in the process.
… Just like how I couldn’t make my legs walk to Melloxtressa. I wasn’t brave enough to confront her.
And she saw this. She saw me hesitate. She saw me being unable to act. Her shoulders dropped as she placed her rice wine down, before recalling all the powder around her, literally reabsorbing it back into her scales.
“I understand…” The temperature of the guildhall was steadily warming back up by the outside heat of a summer’s day, but to me, the room still felt extremely cold. Like the awkward silence after your parents lectured you for misbehaving. The inability to talk back, since you knew you did something wrong.
“Matriarch?” Yorshka blurted out as Melloxtressa stood up from the table, unsteady on her feet. “You should probably sit and drink some—”
“No, there is no need. I’ll be retiring. I think I shall sleep for a bit.” With those words, Melloxtressa made her way outside of the guild. Although it was clear she was drunk, she walked with a certain amount of grace, as if to say this was nothing.
When she passed me, all I did was give her a small glance, just enough for our eyes to meet. I could see frustration and sadness just from how her eyes wobbled. The fact I turned away and didn’t speak probably stung her even more.
I was hurting her.
Once I heard Melloxtressa’s wings flap and fly off, the three older women quickly turned to me. Was it disappointment I saw in their eyes?
“Just say it already. ‘I am a bad daughter,’ right? No, I was just a bad person overall. That’s what you three want to say, right? Just spit it out, I know it already…” I told them before slumping down at a nearby chair. I was so done with this day.
Saori, Yorshka, and Muraina just looked at each other, but didn’t say anything. They simply kept silent, as if they were willing to let things cool down for a moment.
“Hey, Hestia-san, why did you dine-and-dash like tha— Uhm, what is with this atmosphere?” It was Tatsuya and Kyouya, who both barged into the guild.
Oh, that’s right. I forgot to pay the tavern for the food and drinks…
“Haaaa,” Muraina let out a sigh as she gestured something to Saori and Yorshka. “Sorry, you two, the guildhall is closed for the moment. Mind going outside with me for a bit?” Without any complaints, both boys were escorted from the guild with question marks over their heads.
“… Did you take Rajah in as part of your shadow pack? I didn’t know he arrived with Tamae-chan and the others,” I said, seeing as neither Saori nor Yorshka were about to speak.
“Yeah, Rajah and the rest of his family; you remember his mother and siblings. They seemed to have evolved since we last met. Rajah and his siblings still needed some time to grow up, though,” Saori explained, going along with my icebreaker. “They were quite excited to see you again, Rajah in particular. But, when they saw you in that state, they decided to stick around, and that was when they met the garms. They got pretty jealous.”
Rajah instantly decided that he wanted to become a shadow pack member, even demanding it from Saori like a spoiled child. Although it technically meant Saori was his tamer master now, he did it since he learned of the dangers I faced which caused me to fall unconscious. He wanted to become stronger at all costs to defend me.
“Rajah had just finished his assimilation, while his family is still inside my shadow. All four are taking a few weeks, since it seemed the protective blessing Aurena gave them was still in effect, right up until they became a member of the pack. I presumed that, since they will be taking on your [The Light]’s blessing, Aurena probably removed the blessings since they weren't needed anymore… Are you willing to bring them along, Hestia?”
“… I dunno. Can I protect them?”
That question — this constant damnable worry. Am I strong enough to protect everybody? I honestly wasn’t sure after what the demonkin just did. Not only did they murder Eshe and the Griffon King Assurfel, but they also managed to bring in that monstrosity. I even learned afterward that Melloxtressa was the one to actually kill the geisenlarg king.
It was frustrating. My powerlessness was gnawing at me, and that was on top of how much Eshe’s death was killing me inside. Once again, I felt weak. When I told Saori and Yorshka about this, they couldn’t help but shake their heads.
Yorshka came over and brought a chair over to sit next to me. “Hestia, you are being too hard on yourself. Why are you trying to put all the responsibilities on your own shoulders? You might be a dragon, but even a dragon cannot carry the planet. You expect too much of yourself, and the moment you face a wall, you lose faith in yourself? That is not the way.”
“She’s right, Hestia,” Saori agreed. “It isn’t wrong to ask for help, I’ve told you this time and time again. This is why Tasianna and I were working so hard! Why I was so very frustrated when you didn’t even think of evolving into a B rank because you thought ‘we couldn’t handle your berserk form if you evolved’. You keep looking down on the people who can help you. Always thinking everything has to be done alone.”
She was right. I did think like that. Before I evolved into a B rank, I thought Saori and Tasianna were too weak, since I had that moment after Shiterno merged my skills without my consent, causing my body to go out of control. If it weren't for Master Kush, they probably would have died.
I was only made aware of how asinine my thinking patterns were after they defeated me in a duel with specific rules. And now, look at how both of them developed. They were a far cry from how they used to be.
“I think you can agree that I’ve gotten stronger, no? I managed to kill a pretty powerful lich nearly on my own.” Saori looked at me while boasting of her accomplishment. “Yes, it wasn’t a perfect kill. I still have a long way before I have a better understanding of my current body. But you can't deny that it was an improvement. You saw what Tasianna could do. Even with that, we, as a party, weren’t enough to perfectly slay that monster. If you are talking of protecting others, even I am not strong enough to protect you yet, Hestia.”
After letting me digest those words, Saori continued, “I’ve said it before, Hestia. You think a lot, not in a positive way, but in a negative one. You worry about everything, as if you are expecting the world to judge you for every little thing. As if you are going to an audition and you have to make sure every single step and action is perfect. You aren’t, Hestia. You aren’t a trainee anymore seeking the limelight to make your parents proud, all while hiding your frustrations under a mask meant to force back your tears. You really aren't. The moment you stop thinking about the perfect performance, the more you can think about the next concert. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?”
I nodded. Saori made me wonder if I had developed at all. Had I not grown up at all, or did my personality development regressed since Eshe’s death?
“… I’m sorry. For what I said before. That was an incentive for me to say that you didn’t know me well. With me out of commission, I cannot even fathom what you have been doing in these three weeks, and I still said something so terrible to you,” I apologize for what happened when I woke up.
Saori sighed, showing a wry smile. “Yes, apology accepted. However, can you promise me to stop thinking that you have to deal with everything by yourself all the time? It’s patronizing to Tasianna, Ellaine, Grimnir, and me for everything we did to contribute to our party. You hear? I don’t like repeating myself twice, and you probably don’t want the same lecture a third time, right?”
I nodded. I promised to never be overly selfless to the point of being selfish, again.
Yorshka caressed my shoulders, seeing me contemplate Saori’s words deeply. “‘Our party isn’t strong enough,’ that’s what Saori said. If you think that she’s correct, then it’s fine. There is so much to change and develop inside a party compared to yourself. More variables to change. Heroes do not become legends by being alone, Hestia. They become legends not only through their sweat and blood but also through the people they meet on their journey to the top. Tragedies and hardship may happen, but to learn how to handle them and use them as the catalyst to your success is the key here.”
‘Stay strong’ … Eshe’s last words to me.
I stayed strong when I fought the geisenlarg king, and I managed to help everybody push him back, but I didn’t have the strength to protect everybody nor to kill it outright. If I reflected on the battle, I believe there would have been better ways to go about it. With a huge list of attacks to choose from, I most likely chose the wrong ones.
There were ways for me to get even better. Upgrade spells and attacks, develop better tactics, or even become a better leader to for my party. Repetition was the mother of learning. If I just gave up, I could never progress further, which means tragedies like Eshe’s death could happen again. It could happen to another person I was close to.
“Besides, you have me now, Hestia,” I raised my head to Yorshka’s words. “Tamae already said it, we will be joining you. I am part of the package.”
“But what about your duties as a Knight of Aurena?” I asked.
“Pah, do you really think I cared about it? Hestia, this was just the job an old friend asked me to do. Too bad for the salary, but it’s not so important considering what we will be doing. For example, the money the kingdom offered as a reward for saving them was huge!”
I turned to Saori. “‘Offered?’”
“I declined it. With how the kingdom is looking and what their plans will be in the future, they need it far more, whereas we can just travel around for more funds. We made a ton of profit from your concert through pastry sales alone, don’t you remember?”
Saori rejecting money? Damn, am I the only one who is regressing in character development?!
“See? No problem, right? And, if you really want to be specific, there is another person you can add to our party at this very moment. Who will make the most direst emergencies into a cakewalk, so long as she can stay awake long enough to act.”
The answer was obvious.
“… My dragon mother.” Everything led back to her.
“Yes, please. I know I am saying this as a member of clan Nordor, but please talk to your mother, Hesta. She loves you. All she did while we were out was talk about you. When you were unconscious, all she wanted to know was who you are and how to properly talk with you. She even asked about your previous life, and how your ‘real’ mother treated you. We helped her practice being a mother, although, uhm, her talents for housework or even cooking were not… sublime.”
Which further explains why she and Saori got along so well. They had three weeks to get to know each other.
… I need to get stronger.
I clutched my hands into fists, before pushing myself up. I began taking large whiffs of air, quickly identifying the sweet smell of a dragon. I activated [Mana Eyes], detecting a trail leading out from the guild to the top of Griffonpeak — the peak of Wintertalon. I deactivated [Mana Eyes] the moment I had her location, not daring to keep it active any longer and strain my eyes.
“See you later,” I nodded to both of them, before Rajah jumped out of Saori’s shadow and made a small growl. “Yes, yes, see you later, too. I’ll greet you properly once we’re back home.”
I exited the guild and spread my wings, telling Tatsuya and Kyouya I’m sorry for leaving them with the full check and that we will meet again, before flying up to the tops. I continued following her scent, until I finally made it to the peak, where I saw Melloxtressa sitting on a rock, gazing at the blue sky in solitude.
“… Empress Melloxtressa.” I knew she didn’t want to hear that, but I couldn’t just call her mother.
“Yes, my little whelpling?” The tears she just shed were still there, visible for me to see as she showed no signs of cleaning them. She looked like she still was slightly tipsy.
“I’m… sorry,” I forced myself to say. “I-I know you wanted to hear something else. I know all of this was not what you had envisioned or expected. Yorshka had already explained your plight to me, so I can’t even excuse myself for the cold reception I gave you. It’s just… I-I don’t really know what to say. The three weeks you experienced might as well never happened for me, and I still remember yesterday as the day one of my friends died. It’s all—”
“Come.”
I stopped talking. I looked up from the ground, seeing the tears Melloxtressa had frozen before they were absorbed into her skin. She made room on her boulder and tapped it, gesturing for me to come over and sit down with her. I had no reason not to accept and nodded.
As I sat down, Melloxtressa held her hand up for a moment before the surroundings began to heat up. In the next second, a cracking sound appeared out of nowhere and a ring of frozen air appeared around us, hiding us from the world. Did Melloxtressa just warm things up inside the frozen sphere out of consideration for me?
“You don’t need to ask for forgiveness, Hestia. Your own circumstances haven't been easy on you, and, as you said, I had three weeks to prepare myself mentally. You didn’t. You only had a second,” she said, while I was intrigued and distracted by her ability to control the temperature itself, not just the ice.
“No, no! You shouldn't say that! I wasn’t there for the whole thing but I saw you crying and spilling your heart out. I heard that, when you’re drunk, you’re more susceptible to speaking your mind. I hurt you, I understand that now. Just because I’m conflicted doesn’t mean that you should find excuses for me.”
“But isn’t that what a mother should do for her whelpling? Make her feel more comfortable? Yes, I did find it unfortunate that we couldn’t bond as fast as I wanted, but when I was pregnant with you, all I could think about was how to take care of you. You, my child, were my dream and the reason for my drive to evolve into an SS rank. Have you heard about it yet?”
I nodded. I explained that Yorshka had told me her story, about how she swore to only lay an egg once she was one of the strongest beings in the world. To have the strength to protect her future child. For that reason, she trained endlessly to become the second SS rank among the current era of dragons.
“Yes, that is correct. The child of two SS rank dragons should be powerful. Even without your father and mother around, you would be able to defend yourself. That is why I became Eltharion’s sixth empress. I am so very glad that you managed to survive all this time all by yourself, Hestia. Your life is my treasure, and even if you cannot accept me as your mother just yet, I have regained my will to live by meeting you.”
… Guk! Ark, that really hurt my heart. Jeez…
I felt even more terrible than before. What have I been doing? I was already aware of her situation, but I still was too simple-minded.
No, no, no. Blaming myself right now, would be doing exactly what Saori just told me not to do. Don’t overthink everything. Things happened. It was better to forget about past mistakes if the person in question wanted me to do so.
My lips unconsciously curved into a small smile after acknowledging my fault.
“… You know, it wasn’t easy. Born as a G rank and the size of a gecko. My first kill was a loopabit, and it really traumatized me with how I had to crush its neck to slay it,” I joked, and Melloxtressa giggled.
“Yes, I heard it from Saori. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that, but the fact you hatched far too early in your incubation time and yet still developed into your current self is a blessing.” Melloxtressa then touched my head and pulled it closer to hers, up until our forehead touched. “Hestia, I am very glad that you became my child. If your soul wasn’t in my whelpling’s body, I fear… this probably would have been my last few years in this world. That despair would have eaten me up.”
I immediately pushed her away from me, unable to control the tears dropping from my eyes. “Verdammt, did you really have to say that?! Verdammt nochmal. Your scent is so intoxicating and then you even threw that out? You’re impossible, Melloxtressa.”
I turned my teary face away from her, hiding my flustered face as I tried to clean my wet face. Melloxtressa giggled once again and caressed my wings, and even used her tail to stroke mine.
I still remembered from the lizardman that among scale-kin, stroking each other’s tail was considered a sign of attraction, but maybe it was different for parent and child? Just like how kissing each others’ cheeks was considered familial love?
We sat there in silence. Just… being there, for each other. I didn’t have any urgency to leave like before. As my parallel minds told me, the memories of Mama and Melloxtressa weren't being merged together. It was just the surprise of the situation.
We both stared into the blue sky and down to Griffonpeak. We watched as the clouds moved each other, even talking about how some of them looked like birds. Melloxtressa didn’t seem too interested in the cloud talk. I could hear it slightly from her voice, but it wasn’t as if she was bored. I believe speaking with me even about the dumbest and most mundane stuff was probably extremely exciting for her.
Like a mother speaking with their child over the phone after they went off on a school trip or something.
“… Can I ask you something?” I inquired, deciding to finally get to the whole reason I followed her out here. Melloxtressa nodded, so I took a deep breath to steel myself before speaking, “What are you planning on doing now? Now that you met me?”
“… If I am to be honest, I would like to bring you back to Miononbolax. Saori, Tasianna, Ellaine, and Grimnir — those are your friends, right? I asked them about your journey and what you are doing, and that is when I learned that Goddess Aurena and Kargryxmor have given you a divine Quest. That you are their champion… I want to bring you away from their scheming.”
It was as Kramps expected — Melloxtressa wanted to bring me to Kargryx.
“I heard from Kramps—”
“Kramps?”
“Oh, sorry, I meant Kargryxmor. I call him ‘Kramps’ since he is my grandfather, right?” I explained.
“Oh… I see. So you can accept Eltharion’s father before your own mother?”
Gck!
“No, no, no that’s not really what I meant! I-uhm-I just thought it would be—”
“Kriehihihi,” she giggled. “It’s alright! It’s alright! I am merely teasing you. You do not need to explain yourself… but I guess Kargryxmor will. Kishagas kriis til, Karshgrixgar!”
I let Melloxtressa shout her frustration into the sky before continuing what I wanted to say. “Ooookaaaay. Now, where was I?”
“So, what I wanted to say is that I wish for you to allow me to stay here. I heard from Kramps that, if I were to come with you, I would not be able to leave Kargryx until I was five. Until I matured.”
“That is correct. That is the imperial law Eltharion enacted. At the age of five, dragons have developed enough for their bodies to handle even the most drastic changes during their evolution. Unlike other beasts, we dragons do not become ‘adults’ when we become five. In fact, it would normally take almost 100 years for a dragon to fully reach maturity.”
Huh, I guess that is why I’m not feeling any sexual attraction to any guys at all. If I were my past self, a few nobles probably would have caught my eye, but they were pretty much whatever to me if I wasn’t interacting with them.
Melloxtressa further explained that the “young” prefix was just a way for the Divine System to control the minimum age a dragon may evolve into A rank. It was the right age to evolve above B rank, without showing any signs of issues. Before the System, this prefix didn’t exist after all, and you were only considered “mature” after your 100th birthday.
The System sure influenced a lot of cultures, even the dragons’.
“Which is why I would like for you to come with me. I don’t wish to see you harmed, Hestia. And I believe that you need to finally learn how to take care of your dragon body because I can see how the shine of your scales is dulling, despite how healthy they look. This should be a parent’s duty.”
I didn’t answer her.
“… You disagree?”
I nodded. “Yes… I want to stay around here. Here, on Altrust. I know I have no idea how Miononbolax is, but I don’t think it’s time yet for me to go there.”
Melloxtressa turned her head, looking back at the blue sky. “But why? I can hear your heart beating, my whelpling. It slowed down after our initial talk and it suddenly jumped up after you said that. Could you enlighten me?”
Considering I could hear her tone of voice clearly, I guess it’s fair for her to hear my heartbeat. Good hearing can be a problem sometimes.
“I-I want to continue what I’m currently doing. I’m an idol. The others probably already told you everything, so I don't think it should come to you as a surprise. My goal is to sing and dance, to bring everybody a smile as I appear on stage… and, Aurena promised me she would allow me to meet— Uhm, m-my—”
“You human parents? You can say it clearly, Hestia. I will not be offended. Your human parents raised you well. As your mother, I am very grateful to them that they gave me such a brave little daughter. You are a reincarnator. I have accepted it,” Melloxtressa comforted me. “… But your heart still hasn’t calmed down yet. It’s actually increasing. Are you sure this is what you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Melloxtressa, uhm, could you please not listen to my heart for a moment? While we’re speaking right now, at least,” I asked her, expressing how hard it was making it for me. Melloxtressa agreed without complaining.
I stroked my face, taking a moment to try and form the correct sentence for this before speaking.
“Well, you see, after seeing what happened during that attack, I learned that I’m not really that strong, and to get even stronger than now, I’ll need to wait four more years and develop the skills necessary to evolve. That will definitely take a while, and, with how Aurena’s Quests demands me to possibly start a war with the demonkin and maybe even the empire, I wanted to ask if you could maybe help me with it?”
“… No.”
I widened my eyes. I knew my request was pretty rough, but since Melloxtressa was an SS rank, I thought she would be the perfect force to fight against the demonkin. I didn’t expect her to solve everything herself, no way would I allow her to do everything. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself for abusing our relationship like that.
When I asked her for her reason, Melloxtressa didn’t give it much thought. “Hestia, have you heard what we dragons had done during the demon invasion immediately after the Origin Gods appeared in this world?”
I retold what Yorshka told me. Kargryxmor, being probably the strongest being at that time, stood on the frontline in the defense of the planet with the Origin Gods. He led the dragons into battle against the demonkin, before he ascended to godhood with a few of the older dragons joining him as his aides.
“Exactly. However, that was how the greatest tragedy of the Dragon Empire Kargryx happened. The civil war between Eltharion and his siblings. Many dragons — the children and relatives of those who left us for the divine realm — died, fighting for their preferred ruler. Your uncle and I were the very few who stayed out of the succession war, in no small part because of our own sorrow over losing our father.”
She paused at this point, looking at her own hand before continuing, “We dragons have bled and died for the world far too often already. We have lost all our parents either through battle or the apotheosis of Kargyxmor, only to end up fighting against each other as our ideals conflicted. Hestia, what has Kargryxmor told you about us? That we are lazy? That we broke the oath he selfishly created between him and Goddess Aurena, arrogantly believing we dragons would wish to continue being this world’s protectors for the rest of time? No, we dragons finally understood how much we have sacrificed.”
“But, what about the other races? The elves, for example? Shouldn’t they have helped you also?”
“And many of our elven comrades have either chosen to enter ‘eternal sleep’ or developed a conservative stance to interacting with the ever-changing human race. Yes, while I do not know much of the current Peolynca and its events, I can tell you that those who fought back then are not too thrilled to be dragged into another battle. Even if you are his daughter, Eltharion will never, ever support this idea of yours, Hestia. He wouldn’t, for the emotionally-scarred Eltharion has seen enough.”
She then pointed down at Griffonpeak, telling me to look at the many people walking down there. “It is astounding how much humans have developed. The last time I was here, this whole area was just a wild, uncontrollable forest filled to the brim with monsters. Now, that very forest has shrunk and was pushed to an edge by the Saelari and humans. How many years has it been? How much time has passed?
She then turned to me, looking into my eyes with a mix of waning sadness and acceptance of reality. “Hestia, this is your first lesson as a dragon: we will outlive many of the people we meet in our lives. It is an inevitable truth. Dragons have extremely long lives even as C ranks and, once you make it to S rank, you will, for nearly all intents and purposes, be immortal. Sometimes, it is better for the old to stay out of the affairs of their juniors, for every bond made could end after we wake up after a nap.”
“…”
I did not expect this to be her perspective. Saori and Yorshka told me to rely on others more, but the moment they said that, this happened. What am I to believe?
But at the same time, isn’t the life of a dragon too sad? No, the life of an immortal. People you meet could just die before you and you would simply live on. I’ve been having this thought for a while now, and I thankfully had friends who could live for quite some time. Tasianna was immortal as a fairy and maybe Saori could also become immortal by becoming S rank. But what about Grimnir and Ellaine? What about Rajah? The many people of Griffonpeak?
The memories I made here, they all began flashing before me. The fans I made today, could all die tomorrow.
“Hestia, allow me to tell you something. To the Origin Gods, if the planet itself isn’t in danger, they will never personally intervene. Do you understand? Goddess Plesia and God Marsven by themselves are truly enough to protect all of us. Goddess Aurena’s Divine Quest is simply a small issue, which will disappear after a nice, long sleep.”
A large-scale conspiracy concerning the whole church of Aurena and the empire was only a “small issue?” Was that actually true? To me, all of this sounded far larger than I was. To me, those demonkins and a potential wars were enough for me to stay up all night.
My shoulders slumped down. “You know, I have been thinking about this whole impending war thing. How many people will have to die for it? Even if I could protect those on my side, what about the others? Those who don’t wish to die but must fight because of the orders of their leaders. As an idol, I should be someone who brings people hope and happiness, not end their lives through fire and claws. And now, you tell me all of this is just a small event even for the gods? Unbelievable.”
Sometimes I really do wonder if I’m idol material. With how I am…
At least, I beleived Aurena cared for her followers. But then again, the fact she told me to help her with this will bring out conflict. I could naively wish to solve this peacefully all I wanted, but some people couldn’t be reasoned with. Different ideals and goals will battle against each other to stand at the top… just like the Kargryx and Leosfalt civil wars.
An idol should bring smiles, even if she has to lie for it. That was showbiz, and my parents even warned me about it. The thing is? Is somebody who causes a huge war really idol material? The lives I took up until now were necessary, I told myself that.
“After Eshe’s death, I had the thought of just stopping. Like, staying out of all this conflict. I mean, the thought of losing even more friends was tortuous and then I began thinking of the people on the other side of the war. If I had the opportunity, I could be performing for their entertainment. All this thinking makes it so hard for me to know what to do. What is right and what is wrong?”
The mages under Thyra were complete strangers to me. Maybe I met them during the ball, but in the heat of the battle, I wasn’t able to remember any of them. But, despite that, the moment they were consumed by the geisenlarg’s claws, I felt saddened by their deaths. A complete stranger. So, what would happen if I have this same reaction when I meet a nervous soldier fighting on the other side?
Melloxtressa stared at me as I gazed aimlessly into the horizon, only to bring my attention back after a few seconds. “Cherish your own life and those of your loved ones. A flawed reincarnation like yours and Saori’s is rare, so I hope you understand to value your own life, my little flame. Those who wish to threaten it or your ideals are the enemy. Never, ever forget this. To live is to kill. Like the loopabit’s life you had to take to survive, if you second-guess everything, then your ideal place should be the scholar room with all the philosophers.”
“That is quite blunt,” I admitted.
“I am simply saying what I believe would be the best mindset for myself and for you, Hestia. You don’t need to be a tyrant like your grandfather. Some issues can be solved by peaceful discussions and diplomacy. It is the privilege of living beings to negotiate. Two predators would not fight each other if they have nothing to gain or if they are unsure if they can win. But if all things fail, then you must dominate your foes, and make them regret ever facing you!”
This was the ferocity of an ancient dragon. This was also her wisdom to me.
“Don’t forget, Hestia,” she made our foreheads touch again. “If my brother were to be slain, I would destroy everything their slayers held dear. If you were to vanish from my life, I would bequeath Peolynca the gift of an eternal ice age.”
S-Shit, she’s serious!
I push her back. The forehead touching was a bit too much right now. “A-Alright, alright, I get it! I’ll get strong, I’ll stop whining like this… But, Melloxtressa, I would still wish for you to let me stay around in Altrust. I don’t want to go to Kargryx and get grounded for the next four years. I still want to continue traveling. If possible, could you allow this?”
Melloxtressa tapped her cheeks, thinking about it before smirking. “Only if you can prove yourself strong enough to survive through adversity, Hestia. The adulthood pilgrimage forces a whelpling to survive without their parents, to journey and experience life outside secluded Kargryx. Many of them die from unfortunate circumstances, but those who return can prove themselves as powerful beings. Aside from one, all your older siblings came back alive and well, Hestia.”
The last one was probably the youngest of my older sisters, the one Cernust mentioned. She probably was still journeying, since she made her pilgrimage a few years prior to him. Then again, maybe she was already back in Kargryx?
“As such, if you wish to stay outside, then let this be your pseudo-pilgrimage. If you cannot prove yourself, I will drag you and your friends to Kargryx, where you will train and prepare for your adulthood ceremony. Do you believe you have the strength to do so?”
I nodded. “However, please, teach me, Melloxtressa! My dragon abilities are still things I’m not sure I fully understand yet. I’m not even sure of my anatomy. If I could know my body better, maybe I can make better use of it.”
“Kriehihi, of course, my little whelpling. That is what a mother is there for,” she smiled. “However, your fights are your own. A dragon unable to fight is not fit to leave their roost. If that moment comes, then I will appear, and that is when you will also leave Altrust, Hestia. I will not allow you to complain.”
“I understand,” I grinned, happy that worked out fine. “Then, can I rely on your help on our journey?”
“Of course, but don’t forget that I will not be fighting your battles. If you wish to travel, then I will treat you like an adult dragon. Aside from that, 3500 years of constant fighting have worn me out. I am tired of fighting, Hestia. So…”
Melloxtressa’s scales began growing from her naked skin before moving around her scale dress, altering its design and adding more ornaments onto her hair, wings, and tail. Ice also formed, either levitating around her like fireflies or they were added to her outfit.
From the simple one-piece she had at the beginning, it slowly turned into a dress filled with intricate scale design. Her ice even formed into accessories, carapace, and also a crown on her head. It was majestic, fitting for an empress of the Dragon Empire, Kargrx. Perfect, for the silver dragon matriarch of clan Nordor.
“— don’t make your mother worry, alright, Hestia?”
… She wants me to say it.
Her smile and eyes were telling me she was anticipating something from me. Melloxtressa might have said she accepted my situation and the circumstances for why I acted like I did this morning, but her attitude right now was saying the opposite. I guess it’s to be expected right?
But, am I really willing to call her as such?
“… M-Mother?” In the end, I made myself say it, just to appease her. Not like a word would matter that much.
“Hmm.” But for some reason, Melloxtressa was still not happy. Did she sense my insincerity? “You called me ‘Mama’ when we first met. Could you call me that? It feels… closer, no?”
Hold on, when did I say that?!
The only time I could think of was when she first arrived? Or maybe I said it while sleeping? Sleep talking would probably count in her book, wouldn’t it? Argh, does it really matter when I do so? I’m not gonna call her that, in any case, that’s the name for my Mama.
I smiled and shook my head. “Let’s just stick with ‘mother’, please.”
Mellox— Well, I guess she’s “Mother” now — Mother was naturally not delighted about it but she didn’t seem offended, at the very least. Good enough for me.
With the main topic of the subject down, I stood up and asked Mother if she was okay with rejoining the others. As nice of a view this was, it felt a bit too lonely up here. I wanted to be with the others. Thankfully, Mother accepted it, seemingly having recovered from her tipsiness during our talk.
After she broke the ice barrier, we both unfurled our wings and dived back into the city. Flying with her felt pretty weird, to be honest. I didn’t know how to describe it. Surreal, maybe? I never would have thought I would be flying around with my mother. Then again, never would I have imagined I would be reincarnated into a dragon, so stranger things could always happen.
Eshe, once again, I hope you can rest in peace.
I am not so sure if I can actually live up to what Eshe expected from me. A hero? As if I could live up to being a virtuous hero similar to Eshe. Honestly, I still have no idea what was right and wrong here. I was sure the other side — the demonkin — had countless reasons for doing all of this, but I didn’t know them here and now.
An idol? Who knows if I really counted as one. I always wanted to be an idol who could bring a smile to people’s lives. I suffered by myself just so I could fulfill this dream, making others worry for me as a result. And now, I was confronted by a reality I wished wasn’t real.
Was it evil? After all, evil to one person might be good to another. To the demonkin, Eshe’s death was probably worthy of celebration. The death of a saintess of Aurena would probably bring out jubilation similar to the death of a tyrant, while the humans would cry and mourn for her. Two sides, two stories.
… However, Eshe probably didn’t want me to think like that. To stay strong, she told me. To stay bright like a star in the shroud of a night sky. To continue being the idol I wanted to be.
However, this star had a little shadow around it.
The bastard going around doing whatever he wanted, making my life and those I love worse and worse. The one who killed the Griffon King. That demonkin who ordered for Eshe’s and, I presume, my own death. The person who caused all the disasters in Artorias.
To me, that guy was pure evil.
It was enough for me to consider all of this large enough to act on, regardless of how small of an issue it was for the Origin Gods. My happiness was in danger.
Like Mother said, “But if all things fail, then you must dominate your foes, and make them regret ever facing you!” And, “War demands blood,” Eithalr said to me. His saddened eyes were enough for me to understand what he had to go through to say those words without any hesitation.
Do you hear me, demonkin of pride? All the plans I ruined up until now? Those were only the beginning, I will continue ruining all your plans. Every single last one of them. You ruined my happiness. I will not let you get away with this.
If I was to make sure my friends and happiness would survive, I needed to stop that piece of shit.
And while doing so, I will make sure the world will know the name of Peolynca’s first idol — Hestia Atsuko Kargryxmor, imperial princess of Kargryxmor. Earth’s definition and image of an idol should not affect Peolynca’s ideal idol.
Ravenous fans who throw out love and hate for an idol, not understanding that we have a life and emotions as well? The price of stardom. The price of being a public figure, like one of the Blessed. Some things couldn’t be changed even for the most idealistic people, but I am still an idealist through and through. The fact I even decided to become an idol in the first place already made me abnormal.
Mourning time was over.
Eshe, watch me. This little star will shine even brighter than before!
__________________________________________
Name: Hestia Atsuko Kargryxmor Level: 18 Race: Young Sunfang Dragon
Age: 1 Year Job: Incandescent Blaze Level 30/30
Status: Health: 16514 (+1032) Mana: 44493 (+2340)
Strength: 8979 (+1296) Intelligence: 12826 (+823)
Vitality: 4814 (+578) Wisdom: 6501 (+611)
Agility: 12264 (+899) Stamina: 8888 (+823)
Effects: None
Skill Points: 13050
Unique Skill: [Dreadflame Dragon Lv. 4] [Hellblade Dragon Lv. 3]
[Solar Core Lv. 3] [Venerated Saintess Lv. 3] [Idol Lv. 3] (+1)
[Volcanic Blaze] (New)
Skill: Magic skills and related:
[Lightning Magic Lv. 3] [White Flames Lv. 4] (+1)
[Corrosive Fire Lv. 3] [Sacred Magic Lv. 7] [Terra Magic Lv. 3]
[Wind Magic Lv. 10] [Wind Amp] [Wind Magic Efficiency]
[Storm Magic Lv. 3] [Space-Time Magic Lv. 6] (+1)
[Space-Time Magic Efficiency] [True Draconic Lineage]
[Draconic Barrier Lv. 6]
[Silent Casting Lv. 10] [Magic Power Enhancement Lv. 7]
[Mental Stability Lv. 8] [Mental Warfare Lv. 5] [Fluid Cast Lv. 4] (+1)
[Delayed Cast Lv. 3] (+2) [Continuous Cast Lv. 3] (+1) [Mana Eyes Lv. 5] (+1)
Physical skills and related:
[Unarmed Technique Lv. 8] [Unarmed Mastery Lv. 4] (+1)
[Sword Technique Lv. 1] [Spear Technique Lv. 9] (+2)
[Spear Mastery Lv. 5] (+2)
[Draconic Roar Lv. 4] [Sundering Enhancement Lv. 8] (+2)
[Piercing Enhancement Lv. 9] (+3) [Crushing Enhancement Lv. 5] (+2)
Senses and movement skills:
[Silence Lv. 1] [Accuracy Correction Lv. 8] (+1)
[Concentration Lv. 7] [Foresight Lv. 3]
[Danger Perception Lv. 7] (+1) [Probability Correction Lv. 8] (+3)
[Detection Sensor Lv. 3] [Enhanced Olfactory Sense Lv. 6]
[Enhanced Vision Lv. 9] (+1) [Tracking Lv. 5] (+2) [Night Vision Lv. 8]
[Odorless Lv. 1] [Evasion Lv. 10] [Acrobatic Lv. 10]
[Air Walk Lv. 5] (+1) [Terrain Maneuvering Lv. 6]
[Mid-Air Maneuvering Lv. 8] (+4) [Aerial Fighter Lv. 4] (New)
Resistances:
[Physical Super-Resistance Lv. 6] (+1) [Absolute Pain Tolerance]
[Mental Corruption Resistance Lv. 3] [Mind Protection Lv. 5]
[Mana Leak Resistance Lv. 10] [Abnormal Status Nullification]
[Fear Resistance Lv. 5] [Lightning Resistance Lv. 6] (+4)
[Sacred Resistance Lv. 2] (New) [Wind Resistance Lv. 9] (+2)
[Water Resistance Lv. 3] (+1) [Dark Resistance Lv. 2] (+1)
Stat growths and related:
[Speed of Sound Lv. 1]
Others:
[Stage Fever Lv. 5] [Handicraft Lv. 6] [Woodworking Lv. 7]
[Stonecrafting Lv. 1]
[Trap Creation Lv. 9] (+1) [Instruction Lv. 2] [Identity Blocker Lv. 10]
[Tranquil Mind Lv. 1] [Cooking Lv. 8] (+1) [Benevolent Aura Lv. 3]
[Draconic Aura Lv. 3] [Royal Presence Lv. 3]
[Dismantle Lv. 8] [Gluttonous] [Thought Acceleration Lv. 4]
[High-Speed Calculation Lv. 2] (+1) [Multi-Thought Processing Lv. 3] (+1)
[Parallel Thoughts Lv. 10] [Core Regulation]
[Humanize Lv. 10] [Telepathy] [Aerokinesis]
Job:
[Incandescent Blaze]
Ability List: Dragon:
[Dreadflare Aura] [Hellblade Edge] [Scale-Dust Veil] [Hellflame Breath]
[Solar Beam]
Spear:
[Spiral] [Spark Crescent]
Unarmed:
[Dragoon Jump] [Gale Steps] [Dragoon Dive]
Spell List: Custom Magic:
[Symphonie des Feuergottes] [Prayer] [Sanctified Blaze]
[Sanctified Blaze: Halo of Consecration][Ignite] [Panzer] [Unheilge Engel]
[Scorching Sun]
Custom Spell Song:
[The Will to Fight and Survive] [Dragon Fire] [My Darkest Thoughts]
[The Heir of Hope]
Lightning Magic:
[Lightning Bolt] [Purple Flash] [Levin Core]
Holy Magic:
[Sacred Smite] [Sacred Veil] [Sacred Field] [Banishment Beam]
[Major Heal] [Omnictus] [Gloria Ascendence]
Earth Magic
[Terra Wall] [Bedrock Blades] [Rumbling Might]
Wind Magic:
[Wind Bullet] [Wind Cutter] [Air Shield] [Wind Slash]
[Swift Winds] [Wind Blast] [Featherfall] [Aerial Blitz]
[Tornado Bullet] [Sylphid’s Cloak] [Tailwind]
Space-Time Magic:
[Haste] [Storage Magic] [Warp Point: Entry] [Warp Point: Exit] [Room]
The Light Magic:
[Shine] [Sanctuary]
Titles: [The Light] [Bearer of Kargryxmor’s Blood] [Divine Inferno]
[Otherworldly Reincarnator] [Princess]
Comments
Ahhh, true. You have to use a separate program for that.
Diego Rossi
The changes are good. Hestia monologue is a bit more depressed, but good. The only problem is spotting the changes and being sure to get all of them. Sadly, from what I seen, Patreon doesn't allow changes in text formatting before very basic things, so evidencing the changed parts isn't easy for you..
Diego Rossi
Yoska can teach her to Dragoon.
I mean, if she went to sleep, who will teach Hestia how to dragon?
TheGeneralPlaysGames
I have been waiting for Hestia to finally meet her Mother for a long time now and I am excited to see more of their interactions. I hope she will stick around for a while instead of going to sleep for years or leaving only to come back as a deus ex machina when things get really bad but I understand if she acted more as the passive observer to events.
Kale Daley
Very nice. Also liked hearing the state of affairs from a more experienced dragon. Looking forward to Hestia learning to harness her dragon nature rather than fighting against it. Thanks for the wonderful chapter. It was well worth the wait ^^b
Fat chapter for a long wait.
Diego Rossi
Nice.
