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Chapter 462: Grief and Rage. [Release Version] (Minor Changes to the former Chapter 465)
🕑 Added 2023-11-11 01:32:59 +0000 UTCEdit: As the title said, if you have read the current/former chapter 465, you won't need to read this chapter. It's mostly the same with some changes to the text to accommodate the new chapter timeline.
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<145 human followers gained>
<Total follower count updated. Total followers of [Young Sunfang Dragon, Hestia Atsuko Kargryxmor]: 48180>
“Stop! Stop! This is the Cardinal Vicar’s floor, you are—Awaaah!”
“Get the Knight-Commander! Stop, Cha—Arrrgh!”
Windows shattered as a giant purple slime fist burst through them, grabbing ahold of the knights standing in my way and flinging them outside. Those who managed to avoid the attack were quickly dealt with by me flinging my scales at them, pushing them against the walls before I let [Unheilige Engel] kick them into position for the slime fists from [Hydra] to grab and toss them.
There were a couple grey-robes around, but they didn’t show any resistance, instead running past me once they understood this was a matter between the Vicar and me.
[“Hydra, keep anybody not associated with this matter out. Saori, Tasianna, I will count on you to keep guard.”]
[“… Of course.”] My best friends replied, although reluctantly. I ignored them; I had to do this on my own.
Once I was in front of the only door on the top floor of the white-robe’s dormitory, I checked the inside for any traps with [Mana Eyes], only detecting a single mana signal inside, surrounded by a mana barrier. Maybe there was somebody hiding inside or behind a ward or something else, but emotionally I was way past my ability to care about it. With one swift kick, I cracked open the large, arched, fairnite mansion door, splitting it into shards as it flew into the room. There, I saw the priest standing on his balcony, looking down at the damage and chaos his allegiance with the demonkin brought upon this city!
He didn’t turn around as he said, “If you wanted to talk, you could have—”
“BASTARD!” I shouted before using [Gale Steps] to close in the distance, only for the mana barrier to block my path. I twisted my body and landed a roundhouse kick on it, only to see my attack thwarted by the pearlly-white barrier.
Holy?
The elderly man turned around, a face devoid of any emotions but two judging, sunken eyes. Condescending bastard thought this would protect him?
“Did you think I wouldn’t create protection for myself when I saw that purple slime golem ridding me of my guard personnel?” He took out his catalyst, revealing it was the bronze-winged [Providence’s Will]. He was using Andira’s personal catalyst to protect himself from somebody like me—how ironic. “It would be futile to try and break it. Holy spells cast with Goddess Andira’s catalyst are the most sublime; superior to anything we mortals could ever personally make. Only the other sacred relics left behind by the gods could rival such brillia—”
Talk for yourself.
The Vicar stammered as I invoked [Light Horizon] before I closed my hand into a fist, shattering the holy barrier into fragments as if it was nothing. His eyes widened like a fish as he stared up, watching his protection dissipating like the seeds of a dandelion. Unable to react, I shot my flames out and activated [Flash Fire], teleporting to stand right in front of him just before he could cast the next spell.
I grabbed his face and slammed it right into the fairnite balcony
“Urrgh!” He coughed up as his body bounced up from the impact.
I quickly swiped the catalyst and usurped its control, stripping this bastard of his only weapon. Another one for my collection, and not something I would give back to Aureolis anytime soon unless I personally believed they deserved it. Andira could complain to her moody sister for all I cared.
<Level: 123>
That’s actually pretty high. Damn.
Mentally, I considered the Vicar now 100% my enemy, as I had pushed any possible concern for his past in the bin. I appraised him but a huge chunk of his Profile was blocked out, sadly. Yet it was enough that I could see his level and stats. He was pretty well-trained, but too slow. Far too slow when I was in [Battle Frenzy] and still had my buffs from before!
The Vicar quickly recovered from the surprise attack; the only visible damage was his bleeding nose. His vitality showed, but I cut this moment short by soccer kicking back into his room. This time, his priest robes actually managed to protect him somewhat, as I felt some resistance aside from his organs.
He coughed as he crashed against his desk, where I noticed his robes glistening with magic. What enchantments were on it? Well, I didn’t really care. All I came here for was to kick this bastard’s face in.
Burn.
Leaving him little time to recover this time, I shot out purple flames and fanned him with it, blowing him right onto his bed. As I heard him cry out as his skin sizzled from the corrosion, I also noticed a few priests and knights running towards the dormitory, only for Hydra and the shadow pack, minus the vircagucas, to block their paths. The sound of fluids crashing on the ground and wolf howls made me able to fully concentrate on this beatdown.
“Sitting in your little nest, huh? Watching your handiwork at play?” I cried out as I dashed over with [Flash Fire], before grabbing onto his neck and slamming it right back on the ground. “You think you have this all planned out? Or what the hell did you think you were doing today, huh? HUH? Has everything you’ve done for these last years given you the damn satisfaction you wanted?”
I pulled his bloodied face up and slammed it on the ground again before healing him with my white flames. Seeing him unconscious, I splashed cold water into his face, waking him up before slapping him so hard he flew right into his bookshelf. With the cloud of dust and sawdust filling the room, I grabbed his leg and pulled him to his bathroom.
“People died because of you. Drowned in that damn bastard’s mud!” Tears began to well in my eyes as memories flashed before my eyes of what happened today. “I had to let him escape. The damn Knight-Commander did nothing while I had to run off and rescue people. I prioritized saving lives over stopping an enemy, because you had to ally with them and cause all this trouble! There was a damn fire burning down the grey-robes’ dormitory and the orphanage! … But you couldn’t care less about any of that, you just stayed holed up in here. You did nothing, while ordering the priests and knights to only protect the basilica.”
I threw him right into his bathtub and smashed it into bits with his head, all while making sure he would survive with my healing spells. I wouldn’t let him die that easily.
Rage had fully clouded my mind and it only brought back bad memories. The shrieking sounds of the citizens of Aureolis crying for help, watching their friends and families drown or suffocate in the mud tsunami, and then there was the smoke and fire in the basilica area. The fire pillars I saw when I confronted the sin heir of wrath had turned the orphanage into ash, breaking down its pillars and leaving only coal-scarred remains and the smell of loss.
I hadn’t checked out the full extent of the damage, but the cries I heard when I passed them to reach the Vicar was haunting. In fact, I didn’t know how Fleindia, Renee, or the students who stayed behind to help were doing. I hoped they were all right from the depths of my soul, but this urge to unleash my pent-up stress was impossible to ignore. That bestial side of me triumphed.
I wanted to indulge my lust for blood. That nasty rage caused by the collective discord and suffering inflicted on the people of Aureolis. It was too similar to Griffonpeak, Elyonda, and Inkoran-Tazul.
Gruk!
I groaned as I used the Vicar’s face to smash his mirror. I threw him on the ground, breathing so heavily it sounded like I was hyperventilating. Once I healed him, I pulled him back into his bedroom.
“Are you satisfied?” the bastard eeked up, prompting me to punch him in the face. Why didn’t he have a concussion yet!
I pulled him up by the collar. “What have you been doing while I was helping people out? Doing what I had to with my bleeding heart? Trying to denounce me for your own good, lying everytime you SPEAK! I can see your soul not wavering a bit. You’re not regretting any of this at all …”
This was courtesy of [Soul Vision]. Something I wished … I wished … Akasht, oh, Akasht.
I still remembered pushing myself out of Master’s embrace, running past my friends and everybody else. I didn’t want to stay and show them my grief. This was catharsis. This was revenge. This was my way to grieve.
“BASTARD!” I landed another punch, sending the Vicar back to the balcony. I then fell on my knees, slamming the floor broken. “Why did I do that? WHY! Akasht wouldn’t be dead if I had … If I had just chosen the correct choice. Every time … I want to help a friend and another dies … Eshe. Akasht. Why can’t all of you just target me! Target me! Kill me, come at me! Stop making me choose between my friends and what is right!”
My tears dropped on the cracked floor, distorting my vision until I couldn’t see anything else.
“Why did I accept Aurena’s proposal? Why didn’t I just stay in the damn Belzac forest and just live my life normally. What has this idol dream done for me? Dammit! Dammit!” I yelled, using up all the air in my lungs until I couldn’t keep on doing so. “I failed my parents. I failed my friends. Thrice! Nothing has changed in my second life … I’m just repeating history again. Why did I choose wrong? Why couldn’t I just throw out the idol idea? Then I wouldn’t have put everybody in danger like this. What has this idol dream done for me! Nothing! Nothing! The smiles are gone. It’s all gone. He’s gone. She’s gone … How am I supposed to keep smiling?”
I blinked. My vision cleared and I saw I had completely demolished the floor, leaving a hole large enough for an adult man to fall in. I grit my teeth and stood back up, wiping the tears away as I approached the Vicar, still laying down despite how long I wallowed in my grief.
I shot a [Sacred Smite] at him, waking him up as he crashed on the wall, crying out loud now that his priest robes were in complete tatters, unable to protect him any longer. Good, he should feel pain.
“This faith war thing was started because I truly believed in it. I didn’t want more people to die in a full-on war, but look what that ideal brought me to. I wanted to still be human … I fucking hate it. I hate losing people like this.” I went out of the balcony, noticing the winter wind blowing my hair as the people below me cried out in terror.
“The damn dragon! I knew it, she’s taking this chance to kill the Lord Vicar! She’s trying to take over Aureolis!”
“Kargryxmor is betraying the Goddess! He’s sending his bloodline to kill us all! Just like the demonkin!”
“I knew she was in trouble the moment she came here! Where is Saintess Fleindia and Champion Rhea? Where are they? See? She removed them for this coup! Protect Pope Gwyn at all cost!”
All of you! The nerve to say that about me that after I had to do all I can for your city! I protected Aureolis while all of you twiddled your thumbs in this rotten hellscape!
All these idiots were abandoning the Vicar and were rushing over to the papal mansion. Was I really in the wrong here for trying to avenge Akasht? I guess this was nothing more than a tantrum.
I reached my hand out, letting my mana flow into the sky as I slowly formed a large white magic circle.
Maybe I’ll drop a [Heaven’s Sword] on all of you and just be done with it. You are right. I am a dragon, and you don’t poke a dragon when she’s being nice!
“Heaven’s Swo—”
“I beg you to stop, Champion Hestia.”
I jolted my body around and snapped my fingers, surprised by that sudden voice. Controlling the explosion, I avoided hitting the Vicar and had my trail of scale-dust only hit the person standing at the entrance. It was then that I realized I had made a mistake by not confirming who it was, but then I noticed [Auracoil] activating.
The mana barrier protected its user somewhat as they charged forward and dodged to the side. As I was readying to cast my spells, I stopped when I saw who it was—the fourth person I wanted to smack in the face.
“You …” I glared at the Knight-Commander. I held back my disgust. “Why are you here, huh? I thought you were on our side, but you cut one mud tsunami and left the rest to us? Where were your knights? Any reinforcements? Even if it wasn’t to fight that sin heir, you could have sent somebody to protect the damn citizens you swore to defend with Aureolis! You are supposed to be a Knight of Aurena! Protect her followers!”
I snarled at him, before I turned around, eying the gasping Vicar. “Now, you’re here? For this worm?”
He looked at me and then at the bloodied Vicar before sighing. “… I can understand your grief. I don’t know the details, but I can see it in your reddened eyes, hear your breaking voice, and the emotions keeping your body from resting. However, I must—”
“Yeah, yeah, your damn oath or what the fuck you have that prevents you from raising your hand. I know we don’t have enough evidence. Yet.” I pointed at his sword. “You here to tango? Sorry, tangos are for duos, and if you raise that sword against me, I’m bringing you and him down at the same time.”
“… Only barking.” He shook his head, clearly disappointed. He sheathed his weapon. “Anger has caused many powerful warriors to fall. Just ask that former Hand of Heaven you know. I am not your enemy.”
Grr …
“Then why should I stop? Pope Gwyn is dead and he was replaced by a demonkin—your enemy—and you’re asking me to stop? Why? Why shouldn’t I? Is he even inside? Have we been wasting our time doing this the cordial way, where I learn to be nice while we obtain information? After tonight, those who hate me will only be worse … Why shouldn’t I just do it?”
“Because you are my apprentice.”
My body jerked back, snapping my head around as I heard that recognizable voice. Despite failing to detect another approaching signal, I didn’t attack this time as this voice was unmistakable.
Master. My mage master. He was standing at the entrance with smoke and ash covering his entire body. His expressions were as always hard to understand with his dinosaur head, but that was different for his voice. I felt it. It was unusually lacking in energy. Even if he was angry or disappointed in me, he always had that slightly eccentric elation in his tone; always willing to teach me, always willing to help me.
Yet, all I could hear was his heart breaking. The whistling of the winter’s breeze sent a chill down my spine, but I shivered to my core when I heard him.
“M-Master. Please. Why?” I stuttered, tears building up again.
He approached me, arms wide open to invite me into a hug. I did just that.
I grimached, feeling both embarrassed and guilty about my outburst. “I need to—”
“I know. I know” He caressed my hair and tightened his grip, trying futilely to stop himself from trembling. “He fought bravely and you saw him in his last moments. He snatched it away and protected your runes. He kept the portal up to keep your songs going for us. Akasht did his duty. He carried our belongings and did himself honor by fighting and living like a warrior. Defiant to the end. As his shaman, I couldn’t be any prouder. Always there, fighting, protecting. My friend.”
I could feel his embrace tighten even further, to the point he was squeezing the air out of my lungs. I bit my lips, feeling like my own sorrow was nothing compared to Master’s. I caressed his back, noticing his scales shivering slightly through his robes. I couldn’t hear his tears, but his repressed sorrow was transmitted to me through his raspy breathing.
Unlike before, I did not reject his embrace.
“No apprentice of mine deals out judgement without a proper trial or cause. The Depth Goddess watches our every move, and I shall not allow you to end the lives of these innocent, although lacking in mind, priests and knights. Many of them are simply fools. You have killed many deserving people, but I will not allow you to take the step over the line! I will not have you sully your ideals for Akasht! He would not accept them!”
I grit my teeth. “… Because of those ideals, I dragged you and everybody in Aurora into this mess. If I had just ignored Aurena, none of this would happen. We could have—”
“We could have died somewhere else. We are all mortals, and we would all one day return to Goddess Death. Whether it is now, or in a far, far, far, far, future.” He patted my back. “It is what we dedicate our lives to and what we do with it before it ends that matters to me. Knowledge, justice, and to help my fellow saurians gain a life on Altrust. I have set so many goals for myself, and so did Krim, Graz, and Akasht … His journey has ended prematurely, but I could not fathom him regretting it. At worst, I think he might have felt homsick.”
He released me from his grasp and held onto my shoulders. He wiped the tears off my face and pulled my chin up so our eyes could meet. “As I have told you, the Depth’s Serpent joined you because we seek to bring criminals to justice. That is our goal as Tide Watchers. It has not changed. In fact, everything that I have seen today only makes me wish to perform my duty with more ferocity.”
He stepped past me, looking down at the exhausted Vicar. “You are a priest, just as I am; we have preached about our gods to others, using words and action to spread our faith. We are servants to our gods, as such.”
The Vicar closed his eyes. “… That we are, Saint Kushlek’zar.”
“Good. We are in agreement. As such, for what you have done to besmirch Goddess Aurena’s faith and cause disorder within your ranks, you, I deem, are unforgivable in the eyes of the Depth Goddess. If this is how you serve your Goddess, then I can only question your choices up until now.” Master then went silent, forming his hands into fist with such strength I saw his body shiver like a rocking washing machine. “Your betrayal has hurt many. The falsity and poison you seeped into this world will be brought to the surface.”
He then turned to the Knight-Commander. “You spun the truth around until now, concealing your knowledge from others. Leaving them to suffer. God Istari looks down on your deceit with a frown. Nevertheless, continue what you do best. My apprentice had nothing to do with any of this today. Spin lies with truth until the day of reckoning will bring everything from the depths of obscurity; water mirrors your soul, Knight-Commander Kuornig.”
With that, we left. I did fear the Vicar would just flee after today, especially after he learned I could fully counter him as long as he kept using holy-based attacks. The level difference didn’t matter when I was his natural predator.
Master, however, told me if he fled, then the Depth’s Serpent would simply hunt him down as another criminal. He reminded me the Vicar wasn’t our ultimate target. It had always been the Prince of Envy.
All the suffering since we entered Carine Village led back to the Princes of Sin. Master did not dissuade me from my anger, but redirected it back on the course. If I wanted revenge, then it had to be him.
“Besides, the person who is responsible for Akasht’s death will pay. You need not stain your hands if that person is still alive.” Master glared at nothing, the calm he exuded before having disappeared.
Now outside, I looked at both Saori and Tasianna. Their expression asked me if I was doing better, but I just shook my head. I had told them to not let anybody involved inside, but both the Commander and Master made it in. I let out a loud sigh, finding it exhausting having to be proper.
“We checked the situation around the church, well, mostly Quadra. Do you want a quick report?” Saori asked, but I declined. I wanted to look at everything myself.
From the burnt orphanages to the damaged dormitory, which included ours, this entire place felt so alien right now. The snow kept falling down, but there was rubble blocking the roads, the scorched bodies of victims lying out in the open, and constant loud voices crying out overlapping with each other. It was pure pandemonium, and that wasn’t even taking into account the rest of the city.
At least there was some semblance of help, as a clinic was constructed next to the orphanage. I noticed Fleindia, Asaka, and Tamae running around. They were completely covered in wet soot, as if they had gone from being inside a chimney and then into the rain. They were caring for the injured, where I noticed Asaka was using her moonlight slime excessively. Almost as if she was flaunting her Saintess role.
“Hey, where were you?”
Just as I was trying to approach the clinic, three familiar elderly priests came into view. Their clothes were ripped, their faces had hints of dried blood, and one of them even had bandages cover their burned arm. They were all carrying staves for catalyst, ready to fight.
They were furious.
“And you call yourself a Champion? While a Saintess was in danger, you were not around, leaving the duty to do so to Champion Rhea!” the one in the middle shouted. He was the same person who chided Master in the library—one of the cardinals.
An enemy.
“Many white-robes were hurt on this day, and where were you? Napping? Like any—Wai—”
I charged at him, stopping just before I threw a punch. The two priests next to him were agitated, but Saori and Tasianna helped stop them by snatching their catalysts from their hands. The cardinal was about to react as well, but Master cast a miniature [Plesia’s Grasp], using the small tentacle to smack the cardinal’s arm, allowing me to slap his staff away.
He cried as he grabbed his injured hand. The crackling of bones and the fact his fingers looked broken suggested I might have made an oopsie with my strength control. Whoopsie!
“What are—”
I grabbed his chin, pulling the man onto his knees, forcing him to look up at me. Into my eyes. “Don’t try to pull this stunt on me. Selfish? Look!”
I flew up in the sky, holding onto the cardinal’s neck, showing him the extent of the destruction he allowed to happen. The southern and some of the east and west side of the city had lost all of the pristine order it had when I first arrived in this city. Gone, swept away by the monsoon of mud that had decided to destroy everything. Devastation of life, possessions, and memories.
As the cardinal began to choke and was about to cast a spell, I flew back on the ground and threw him away like a used up tissue.
“I did everything I could today. While all of you were cowering in here, I did my duty and was in the city. Protecting them. My party protected all of this! … But I’m asking myself if any of you deserved my help. Goddess Aurena was right. All of you need to go. You and everybody with your mindset are poison infecting this place!” I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. “Yet, I won’t be able to do so. I can’t stand any of you. I can’t stand being in this place. I don’t want to be a priestess.”
“Halt!” A few knights came running at us, weapons in hand. “For attacking a cardinal, you—”
“She is free to go!” somebody interrupted them.
I turned my head to the side, noticing Theodore with ruffled hair sprinting over to me with the Commander walking behind him. His usually groomed lilac hair was a complete mess.
The basilica had their own fair share of trouble …
“You will not do anything to Champion Hestia! She just saved countless lives in the lower city. This squabble is simple stress!” Theodore argued on my behalf.
Meanwhile, the Commander only said “Leave.” And they did.
I sighed, but waved at them anyway. I gave the cardinal one last look before going into the clinic. People needed a healer. My grief could still be theirs if I do nothing, and despite everything that happened, I wouldn’t let my anger affect me anymore.
After the night ended and the noise had finally died down enough, I handed my remaining responsibilities onto the clergy people and returned to my dormitory with the rest of my group. After what happened with the Commander, nobody dared to annoy me; instead they were giving me a wide berth. Some did whisper my name, but I ignored them.
Apparently, while I did so, Saori had explained the situation to everybody, so I decided to retire without talking with anybody. I know some wanted to comfort me, but I needed to be alone.
“… What use is an idol who can’t smile? What has my dream done to everybody around me? All I do is cause others pain.” I turned around and stared at the ceiling. “What use is a dragon idol?”
