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5.15 - Amber Deen Leska

🕑 Added 2022-06-14 05:04:06 +0000 UTC

Comments

Temple (REND)

Thanks for the help proofreading! - Deen really want to twist everything so that she's in the right even though she knows she isn't. - I'll think about whether Erind will allow Deen to see Blanchette since her story is that she can't control it. - This is a reverse horror story with the blonde girl murdering everyone, lol! - Injuring your friends means you care for them. :D

OmniHumanist

Typos: That should count for something -> That should count for something. Did they decide to randomly check this abandoned gas station and saw the pickup truck? -> Did they decide to randomly check this abandoned gas station and see the pickup truck? ---- I can save someone…That should count for something -> Funny how quickly Deen changes on this. It was up to Erind if she wanted Deen to interact with her Blanchette transformation. -> It would be interesting to see Deen and Blanchette interact again given how long ago they've interacted. "I'm not going to let this one pass, Gabe," she said as she marched to the car. She was trying to be angry, but couldn't. A huge smile was on her face. This car could've called for help if not for her. What would Erind do without me? -> Imagine how scary it would be if any of the passengers survived the aerial attack shovel. You just have Deen marching toward them smiling with bloody clothes. It seems she becoming more and more sociopathic. Also, Erind wouldn't have been blow up by a grenade if Deen wasn't around :p It didn't matter that it was Deen who threw the grenade. -> True friendship is when you blow up your friends with a grenade. If Deen was a physics student maybe she would have known better lol. Thanks for the chapter. Note: Repost since Patreon seems to have deleted my comment.

Temple (REND)

Thanks for the help proofreading! The angel does shorten its instructions sometimes, especially if time is an issue like in a fight where it can't say it's usual "I would..." The signs that Gabe is developing is that here it didn't give an instruction but rather information. Also, back when Deen met Hedley Kow, her angel also changed its instructions into something she wanted.

Skepto

I noticed that the guardian angel is shortening its instructions a lot now, instead of saying "I would... if I were you". Is that supposed to represent that it's growing/developing to Deen's needs or is it becoming more... 'cognizant' of the things around it? "The guys may not be exactly good persons" -> The guys may not exactly be good people


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