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5.26 - Imani Nanda (Tove)

🕑 Added 2022-08-18 08:31:54 +0000 UTC

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Temple (REND)

Yep, I'm revealing more than my usual in this Arc. It's all a learning process I suppose about balancing things. Eventually, I hope to get better at it. And yeah, it's better to wait and binge REND. I am slow in writing. Someday, with more practice, I'll become faster. Perhaps with some luck I may be able to write full time to be able to pump out more content

Flying Goat

Binging to get caught up after not reading for two months (I find your pacing works for me much better for me if I binge read), but I think this chapter was a great choice. I feel that you often leave a bit too much hidden, and some important details I've only seen in your notes. Nothing wrong with keeping some things hidden, but do that too much and you leave your readers confused, and if it takes months for key details to be revealed, the revelations lose their impact.

Temple (REND)

Thanks for the help proofreading! - Imani's thinking is that Deen had everything and she could just enjoy life instead of fighting and possibly dying. There's already the threat of dying now, but if she becomes an artificial Core holder then she's going to be in front of the fighting, and would probably be pitted against Adumbrae. Also, she won't be human anymore so there's no turning back from this life of fighting Adumbrae. - This'll reinforce their suspicion that it's probably an experiment of some sort. And there really might be a huge organization behind this. A lone rogue Professor can't make super-powered groups like these with probably the most top secret iterms like artificial Cores. - I actually have no clue yet what'll be Erind's lies lol. That's why I'm kind of changing my mind a lot while writing this arc because it'll get really complicated with the different stories, truths and lies.

OmniHumanist

Typos: If only Amber and Erind came to the Tech Fair on literary any other fucking day instead of when the Tea Party was going to strike! -> If only Amber and Erind came to the Tech Fair on literally any other fucking day instead of when the Tea Party was going to strike! There were plenty of Adumbrae attacks in that city lately—it was all over the news these past couple of weeks—and Imani was certain Amber's group had a part in it. -> There were plenty of Adumbrae attacks in that city lately—it was all over the news these past couple of weeks—and Imani was certain Amber's group had a part in fighting them. (The original sounds like Deen's group is causing the Adumbrae attacks) Snark might argue for using the other hostages as shields, but Imani was ready to punch if he'd bring it up. -> Snark might argue for using the other hostages as shields, but Imani was ready to punch him if he'd bring it up. From the Professor's actions, they could that Amber's power granted by her artificial Core was extremely valuable -> From the Professor's actions, they could learn that Amber's power granted by her artificial Core was extremely valuable ----- But if someone like Amber, who had beauty, brains, and wealth, basically the world at her feet, had given up her humanity to fight Adumbrae…then what excuse did Imani have? -> This sentiment feels so weird. For a world that idolizes Corebrings, you'd figure people would be more enthusiastic to become one. If they all worked together, then they could defeat the Tea Party and save the hostages. Amber's power might be what their group needed to tip the fight in their favor, especially with a possible Adumbrae in this building. -> Corebring team up! It'll also be interesting to see how Deen and Pino reacts to the professor having multiple Corebring groups. It was possible Erind had secret augments since her mother seemed to be connected to Greaves -> It'll also be interesting to see how Erind will try to spin this. But I guess she'll be Pino for a while so no quick answers. Also Pino will get to work with Corebrings! Maybe Pino can say she is a Corebring, too lol. Thanks for the chapter!


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