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Erind/Deen - 5.19.5

🕑 Added 2022-12-25 07:52:19 +0000 UTC

Comments

Temple (REND)

- That stray question mark, lol. Thanks for the help proofreading! - Well, Erind is slowly trying to fight back against Deen. Maybe someday we'll have an assertive Erind face. - Erind's childhood bits also show that she's oblivious to the fact that she wasn't behaving normally as a kid at all, despite her saying all the time she was the model daughter. It's more of her unawareness because there's no other kid to compare how she acts, and she didn't know much about how society works to copy it. - Gaslighting, or in Erind's case, gas-burning, lol - Maybe a bit more progress next chapter, and then we dive in to another thread lol. I feel like I'm making short stories with these 4-6 chapter bits. - Yandere MC or Yandere love interest for the MC? Usually Yandere isn't the MC. I actually haven't encountered a Yandere MC, unless there are multiple MCs

OmniHumanist

Typos: “I was copying what moms say when their kid gets hurt. Kiss the wound to fool the kid into thinking the pain will disappear.? -> “I was copying what moms say when their kid gets hurt. Kiss the wound to fool the kid into thinking the pain will disappear." ----- “What if I just walk out naked?” I asked my reflection. That would be the ultimate power move. Just absolute confidence—wait, that wasn’t in line with Erind, the timid best friend of Deen. -> Maybe one day we'll have Erind being like this with Deen. How would Mom react if she knew I was hitting my ‘friends’ again? Mom thought that was a ‘misplaced phase' of my childhood development. In a way, it was true—I was yet to realize back then that people didn’t appreciate if I tested how they’d react to pain. Unlike the insects in our backyard, other kids reported me to their parents and got me in trouble. -> Nice connecting this with the Euphonia interlude. It'd be funny if Erind's mom told Deen these stories. Why? Because it’s fun. -> True friendship is when you gaslight them! Deen bent down. Her lips touched mine. -> Progress has been made. I feel like I’m getting the hang of developing a relationship, although this relationship is definitely not healthy with Erind around. I'm also continuing to build Erind's scary side, even if this isn't the main story. Tell me what you think. I probably have a future in writing romance stories, lol. -> It's still fun to see Erind being herself. I enjoy the mental manipulations. I've also enjoyed the slow romance. A nice mixture of gaslighting and romance! :D Maybe for a romance story, have you considered writing an actual Yandere?


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