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[REND] 1.2 - Crappy Monday
🕑 Added 2025-04-12 11:55:29 +0000 UTCEveryone was paralyzed by the unexpected scene.
Except me. My singular thought was, survive!
I bid my folded bike goodbye and rushed to the next train car, shifting my backpack to the front as a shield. I weaved through the people standing on the aisle. I had a couple of seconds lead before someone screamed, “Adumbrae!”
And all hell broke loose.
I got shoved hard against a pole by some idiot. My backpack protected me. Guess it was a frontpack now if that was even a word. A monster was on the train but my brain couldn’t help but think of random thoughts. I flipped through memories of the videos we were forced to watch in school, from elementary up to college, about what to do when an Adumbrae appeared.
Don’t panic. I wasn’t panicking. Run to safety. I was jostling instead of running. Where the fuck was safety supposed to be? We were inside a train inside a tunnel. Hide and find cover. Hide under the seats? Cover myself with what?
A large man pushed me aside in his desperate escape. I lost my footing, tangled my legs with others, and tumbled to the floor. I shielded my head with my arms and switched my frontpack back to a backpack. What a sentence! I was amazed at what my brain could come up with as feet stomped me. I ignored the pain and continued to crawl on my elbows, keeping myself small as I followed the strips of lines along the aisle to know I was moving straight.
“Argh!”
“No! No! No!”
“Mother Core, help us!”
Yells above me.
I pushed on with my best worm impression. Bright red splattered the floor. Plops of pinkish bits followed. Flesh? Was that an eye? I glanced up. Tentacles tore the people standing. That was what they got for pushing me down.
Crawl, crawl, crawl! I ignored the rain of blood and gore. Most people remained standing even if they had died, falling onto others instead of the ground. I could barely make sense of how, but I managed to emerge from the pile-up that clogged the way to the next train car.
The people there were confused but hadn’t fled yet. Some were backing away. Others took pictures with their phones. One loudly asked if a movie was being filmed. As I ran past, a few followed without knowing what was going on. They asked me but I didn’t answer. The more people who didn’t run, the more meat shields between me and danger.
“Is that blood on you, dearie?” a concerned granny asked.
“An Adumbrae attack!” yelled someone behind.
This train car erupted into panic too. Once again, I was squished by humanity. An asshole elbowed my face. Teary-eyed from the pain, I grabbed his collar and yanked him, putting my weight behind the pull. As he tipped back, I braced my foot behind his feet to outbalance him. That actually worked and he fell to the ground to be trampled by others. Rule #4 in action. I didn’t know what happened to him next because I squeezed myself past someone calling for help on the phone.
A new wave of shouting. That sounded like screams of pain. The Adumbrae went this way?
I didn’t dare check behind me but the ghastly roars didn’t sound human. Oh, and people yelling the Adumbrae was here really confirmed it.
Without a second thought, I dropped to the floor. Monstrous tentacles stretched above and whipped at the idiots still standing. A kid got flung out the windows, breaking through it. I thought of climbing out of the hole, but so did everyone else. Two people got stuck and skewered by the tentacles. I couldn’t go forward because it was so packed by both the living and dead. This was the time to use the ‘hide and cover’ advice.
I rolled under the seats and pulled a dead guy to cover me. A metallic scent filled my nose as blood oozed out the holes in the corpse that I named Bloody Cover. Sounds British. I scooped some of his blood and wiped it on my clothes and face. I had seen this a few times in movies, pretending to be dead and stuff.
So, this is how blood feels like? I had touched blood before. My own blood, like from wounds. Not this much blood. It wasn’t so sticky when it flowed out of Bloody Cover. Not disgusting either. Kind of fascinating, actually.
I should be scared. But I wasn’t.
I awfully wanted to get hysterically terrified like the girls in horror movies shrieking their heads off. How did that feel? My heart pounded so hard that my ears thumped along. Adrenaline rushed through my veins, making my body tingle. I didn’t want to die as much as the next person—well, the person next to me was dead—but this didn’t seem to be fear. Was it? More like stressed.
Peering over the shoulder of Bloody Cover, I spotted a woman also hiding under the seats opposite me. She closed her eyes tight as she muttered stuff. Prayers probably. Was that fear? A guy was writhing among dead bodies. He lost an arm but was still alive. Was he afraid? Maybe. But I bet that pain distracted him from feeling fear.
The Adumbrae came my way.
I clenched my teeth. I had zero plans for how to get out alive except hoping that it wouldn’t notice me. My heart raced more. I clutched the clothes of Bloody Cover as I pressed myself to the wall of the train. Only now did I notice that the train was no longer moving. Someone must’ve pulled the emergency brakes.
Go past me, go past me… I chanted as I watched a pair of legs with wriggling tendrils poking out of the jeans walk by. I’d fight if its tentacles came for me. I’d punch and kick and bite. Yes! Go kill other people there. What? Don’t stop so close to me!
The Adumbrae was a few feet away. It crouched next to Armless Guy. The Adumbrae’s head opened like a blooming flower and more tendrils wriggled out. It was hard to see from my position, especially with the Adumbrae’s back turned to me, but the Adumbrae seemed to eat the dying man. The screams that followed told me I was correct.
This was the first time I had seen an Adumbrae with my own eyes. If the threat of death wasn’t hanging over me, I would’ve found the experience fascinating. When I was a kid, I liked watching the Animal Channel, especially when predators ate their prey. It was my dream to go on a safari ride and watch lions eat gazelle or something. This was like that but way more interesting.
This Adumbrae seemed weak compared to the ones I’d seen on TV. It had tentacles and other weird appendages. The tentacles moved fast and were strong but nothing beyond that. It didn’t shoot lasers out of its ass or had other kinds of superpowers. This Adumbrae was probably just Tier 1 in terms of danger, just that it had already killed a lot because the train was full of people.
The police could shred this Adumbrae with bullets from regular guns. No need to deploy Combat Exoskeletons. No need for the BID agents, and definitely no need for a Corebring to do superheroics.
So… I guess I’ll just wait? The police should be coming soon.
How did Fidgeting Hoodie get in the subway station anyway?
Right, the stupid bioscanners that never work. Fidgeting Hoodie got in before the repairs started and they cared to check people. There’d be a deluge of lawsuits after this. So many people dead. La Esperanza, priding itself as Adumbrae-free was negligent with bioscanners in crowded places.
There was no more shouting. Only the sounds of munching squishy flesh and crunching bones. This Adumbrae didn’t have table manners when eating people. Floor manners?
After what seemed like an eternity, but was more like five minutes, the Adumbrae pushed away the bodies and entered the next subway car. By then, it was already empty of people. The monster lumbered ahead and left us. Another minute and I could no longer hear it.
There were a few survivors with me but none of us moved. The woman under the seat across me sobbed uncontrollably, breaking the tense silence. I didn’t know where the monster was, but it didn’t come back.
“Everyone, get up!” A man helped the sobbing woman out from under the seats. Here was the character to take charge. “Let’s fucking go! Quickly!”
I pushed Bloody Cover away and thanked him for his help. Part of me wanted to look for my beloved folding bike, but another part of me wanted to escape fast. I needed to wash this blood out of my hair.
Five of us exited the door that In-Charge Man was able to open. I fake-limped as I passed In-Charge Man. Sure enough, he helped me, the helpless damsel in distress, holding my arm as he walked beside me. As much as I hated getting touched, I needed a protector in this dangerous situation.
“Okay, the Adumbrae went that way.” In-Charge Man pointed down the tunnel. “We go this way, back to the station. We’re not too far away, less than ten minutes. Move!”
“I think there’s a service exit up ahead,” someone added. “That’s nearer.”
“Thank the Mother Core we’re alive!”
Combing away congealed blood from my hair, I continued to hobble beside In-Charge Man, groaning a bit for realism. I reeked of blood. I had to get a nice warm shower before going to school. Attending first period was out of the question unless I suddenly gained teleportation powers. Such a hassle because the professor there was a strict prick. Even getting attacked by an Adumbrae might not be a valid excuse for him.
The tunnel had lights lining it. Together with the lights from the train, it wasn’t so dark. In-Charge Man checked the other cars for survivors and found something concerning.
“There are dead people here too!” he exclaimed.
The others jumped up to look into the windows. I didn’t try to see inside and embarrass myself.
“What do you mean? The Adumbrae didn’t go here.”
“Oh my! Blood everywhere!”
“A second Adumbrae?” I wondered aloud.
“That’s absurd,” said a bastard who should’ve shut up. “Two Adumbrae on the same train? What are the odds of that?”
“I’m not a mathematician so I won’t try to calculate,” In-Charge Man said.
Damn, that’s a good line. I filed it in my mental cabinet for banger one-liners to use. It would fit me because I hated math. That said, what kind of bullshit was this if there really was a second Adumbrae?
“But what I’m sure of,” he continued, “is there’s danger that way and also that way. We’re in the middle. Where do we go? I vote still head to the train station because the Adumbrae with tentacles might return.”
“I see a sign over there!” someone excitedly yelled. “It could be the service door. Our way up!”
“There’s someone on the roof!” I pointed up. My shout was embarrassingly lame and forced—I lacked practice pretending to be shocked. “Or something…”
I had wanted to use that line for a long time. I was glad I said it now because I might die soon. A person wearing baggy black overalls stood on the train’s roof. His face was a hole with a bouquet of tentacles.
There were really two Adumbrae on the train!
Baggy Overalls flicked both his hands to his sides and long spikes burst out of his palms, extending a couple of feet.
“Run!” In-Charge Man tightly gripped my hand and dragged me with him. I appreciated the chivalry, but I didn’t appreciate getting pulled along like luggage.
Still, I ran because I didn’t want to die. Remembering what the other Adumbrae did, I crouched and pulled In-Charge Man too. “Down, down!” I couldn’t have him dying early.
Something whistled past over our heads. Spikes struck the wall beside us. Screams again. Someone got hit. The rest of us continued as Baggy Overalls shot at us. The annoying Adumbrae ran on top of the train parallel to us, the sound of stomping feet on metal echoing in the tunnel.
Many movies showed that running while getting shot at was effective. How true was that in the real world?
We were getting closer to the service door.
Another person got hit. A sharp yell. And another.
Only me and In-Charge Man remained. We can reach the door!
Please be open. I’d be super dead if it was closed.
“Go ahead!” In-Charge Man pulled me forward and pushed my back. “Run fast! I’m right behind you! Ahh!” A whistle followed by a thump on flesh. In-Charge Man tumbled, fulfilling his purpose to save me.
I didn’t look back. Baggy Overalls jumped down from the train. I assumed so because it sounded like it. I could only hope the Adumbrae paused to finish off In-Charge Man.
“Shit, just a bit more,” I panted. Thank you, past me, for choosing to cycle instead of drive. I wasn’t an absolute weakling physically.
My hands grabbed the cold handle. I pulled the heavy metal door with all my strength—my arms felt like they were going to come off—and threw myself in. Close it!
“Lock, lock. How do I lock this?” I fumbled around. No lock. Where next? I was in a stairwell. Stairs! Upward to escape! Or do I hold the door here because the Adumbrae would follow me inside? Can it tear through the metal? I held my body against the door as I mulled my options. Which was a stupid thing to do.
Something hit the door on the other side. The sound of metal giving way reverberated in the stairwell.
Sharp pain! Something warm dripped down my back. I looked down. A spike pierced through the metal door, skewering my backpack and then me. Blood seeped through my clothes.
Eww, it’s touching my insides, was the stupidest thought my brain could come up with. Get this spike out of me! I gripped the spike with both hands and tried to push it back out of my body as I slowly stepped forward, away from the door. I gritted my teeth as the spike exited my body. I could feel its uneven surface scrape against my skin and flesh.
Escape. Do it!
Trying to ignore a level of pain I had never felt before, I limped to the stairs and gathered all my will to climb. My legs wobbled from the pain radiating from my abdomen. I hissed as I went up the stairs, breathing through my teeth, putting one foot in front of the other. Pain shot through me with each step.
The Adumbrae should be chasing me. Why hasn’t it opened the door yet? Did the spikes jam it? Or was it busy eating other people outside? I couldn’t hear what was happening on the other side.
Just keep going up! I’ll find help soon. I couldn’t pass out here and die from blood loss. So pathetic.
Damn it. This day was just the worst.
Comments
Temple (REND)
I think that was Ramello with the uncle cop. Ramon is the pizza guy. Or was it the other way around? Lol, I shouldn't have made their names similar. Too bad I dropped the police storyline last time. We'll do it here. And good idea for the class discussion. That would make classes more interesting for the reader. Thanks!
Karp Paul
I think, doing it right after this mini-arc is the right choice. You will be reintroducing Erind, because her initial introduction was basically cut short by the Adumbrae attack.
Temple (REND)
I wanted to do a monologue in the first chapter, but it's probably not good for grabbing the attention of RR readers since they want a fast paced intro. We'll do after the crappy mondays end. Because by then, readers already now what she's like.
Temple (REND)
- I'll move that exposition elsewhere when things have calmed down. - Yep, Rob. Lol. So Myra's codename is also going to change. - We'll do Crappy 1.1-1.x then another short segment of like 4-5 chapters, and so on.
OmniHumanist
- Getting overly expository I suppose with that paragraph? -> Yeah, especially since we're in the middle of an action scene. - As for Myra, I'll probably tweak her a bit. I like the powers of Vanessa's friend in the arena who makes armor out of stuff he absorbs. -> His name was Rob right? Myra is Robbing his power! Sorry for the pun lol. - Do I go Crappy 1.1, Crappy 1.2. Or, 1. Crappy I, 2. Crappy II, 3. New title I, New Title II, etc? -> I'm more familiar with the way Worm does it, so I'm familiar with the Crappy 1.1, Crappy 1.2.
Karp Paul
- Good idea showing Erind's law background about the negligence of the city. You can use this example later in one of Erinds classes too, instead of discussing some remote cases. If Erind is asked to discuss a potential case from the perspective of a lawyer representing the city, she can find some solid arguments to defend their "negligence". This would show her detachment from other people, like, how could she be so cold-hearted?... can also explain why some of her classmates can start paying attention to her (what was the name of that guy who had an uncle-cop? - he could empathise with arguments defending the city because his uncle is a cop and he knows how they are overworked and underpaid).
Karp Paul
- As for helping In Charge Man, I forgot adding that Erind is pretending to be damsel in distress so he'd help her. And then, she'd help him survive for her own survival. Going to edit that tomorrow. I'll write chap 3 tomorrow too. - Quid pro Quo. This could also be a part of Erind's rules. It aligns with Rule #4 well, but at the same time it feels a bit excessive, and it might ruin some story bits, for example, when Erind sacrifices some people and treats them as fodder.
Temple (REND)
Thanks for your feedback! It's like you've embodied Erind. Really cool. - Yep, I can add rule 4 there - I think most people will know about Adumbrae tiering. I'll add more lore that there are always videos about them, PSAs, school orientations and so on. What I'll add is Erind recalling those and not stating the tier as a fact. - Good idea showing Erind's law background about the negligence of the city. - Erind will definitely think that the chewing is noisy. - You're right, the exposition is too expositiony lol. I think making it more conversational in tone and addint things that you've suggested so that it won't look like a wiki entry. - On the mathemitician part, Erind hates math. But yes, she should comment on the unlikelihood of the situation. - I'll add the scaredy girl face line. That should be there. - As for helping In Charge Man, I forgot adding that Erind is pretending to be damsel in distress so he'd help her. And then, she'd help him survive for her own survival. Going to edit that tomorrow. I'll write chap 3 tomorrow too. Thanks for all the help! You've really nailed Erind's narration.
Karp Paul
I think you should, yes. I would put it in the first chapter, to set the tone and introduce right from the start the idea of faces. Smth like "What you see is a short, timid girl with a foldable bike... but that is just the face I show you." Or you can put smth like this later, of course, right after this subway mini-arc ends.
Temple (REND)
That's a good idea. Also saves me from thinking more titles. I did this because I've seen a lot of webnovels with titles per chapters. I'll probably go for even smaller sets. Like Crappy Monday is just 3-4 chaps until Erind gets out. Then another few chapters about the aftermath, and so on.
Temple (REND)
Glad you like it!
Temple (REND)
Erind doesn't do skin care though haha. The most of Erind's morning routine is just tea. I really like that intro to American Psycho. Maybe we can have an Arc in the future that starts with a monologue.
Temple (REND)
This one isn't Myra. I'm thinking of removing Erind's beef with Myra because Erind would probably find a way to do her revenge early. She won't let Myra just be. Hmm..
Temple (REND)
- Getting overly expository I suppose with that paragraph? - As for Myra, I'll probably tweak her a bit. I like the powers of Vanessa's friend in the arena who makes armor out of stuff he absorbs. - I see others naming chapters and thought I'd try it too haha. Yeah, I'll probably do a name per scene. Do I go Crappy 1.1, Crappy 1.2. Or, 1. Crappy I, 2. Crappy II, 3. New title I, New Title II, etc? Thanks for reading!
Karp Paul
My guess that is Myra indeed.
OmniHumanist
I should be scared. But I wasn’t. -> I think I remember in the original REND that Erind couldn't really have fear. Nice to see it here too. That meant Fidgeting Hoodie was recently Seeded. He listened to the voices in his head, offering him power or hope or fixing whatever despairing problem he had, and allowed a sliver of the monsters from another dimension into his mind. But the Gestation period didn’t last long as he cracked and a UM popped out. A Tier 1 UM. Fidgeting Hoodie probably didn’t last two weeks before he lost his humanity. -> Not sure if this paragraph is necessary. I think the previous one was fine. Erind probably shouldn't be doing an exposition monologue while trying to stay alive. Maybe this can be integrated into the law lectures? I feel like those types of chapters are best for exposition like this. Something whistled past over our heads. Spikes struck the wall beside us. -> Hey look! Myra is back. Just kidding lol. I assume she has different powers this time around? We know she really doesn't care for others, but is it too much here? -> I think it's fine. She's supposed to be apathetic towards others. It would be an issue if she was just blatantly evil, but she's not since she's following Rule #4. I think the apathy is just right. Also is there a reason you decided to name every chapter instead of the worm arc-chapter naming scheme? Maybe you can do what Karp suggested and have each arc have its separate title. So like the previous chapter would be Crappy Monday 1.1 and this would be Crappy Monday 1.2. It was fun seeing how many chapters each arc got up to. Thanks for the chapter!
Karp Paul
There is an idea of an Erind Hartwell, some kind of abstraction, but there is no real me, only an entity, something illusory, and though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable: I simply am not there. XD
Metal(Liz)ard
Like the new start. I think her actions fit into the thought process she showed in chapter 1
Karp Paul
Also, do you plan to have titles for all chapters now? This is not so common in web literature because it is hard to come up with a proper title for every chapter, I guess. My suggestion would be to use titles to denote mini-arcs within bigger arcs. It can help the readers to orient themselves in the text, and the story overall will be more structured. Like, this can be called "Crappy Monday - 2" and the whole "Crappy Monday" mini-arc is about introducing Erind, Deen, Serind, the world, and explaining how Erind gained her powers. The one after that could be smth like "Wannabe Heroes" and focused more on Dario's group. But, again, that is for you to decide, of course, I am here only to read, comment and enjoy :)
Karp Paul
Here are my comments: "An asshole elbowed my face. Teary-eyed from the pain, I grabbed his collar and yanked him, putting my weight behind the pull." - this seems like a good place to remind about rule #4. "This Adumbrae appeared to be weak. It had tentacles and other weird appendages. The tentacles moved fast and were strong but nothing beyond that. It didn’t shoot lasers out of its ass or had other kinds of superpowers. Just a Tier 1 threat." - It is a bit surprising how much Erind understands about threat levels. Perhaps this was something taught to her by her father? Or is it taught in law school? If the latter, then it can be merged with the next point. "How did Fidgeting Hoodie get in the subway station?" - Given that Erind is studying law and her psychopathic nature, she might also start thinking about the potential lawsuit to the city, like, this is, of course, would be classified as the natural disaster, but the lawyers representing victims could argue in court that the city failed to protect them adequately because that guy somehow avoided scanning or being detected. "Only the sounds of munching squishy flesh and crunching bones." - my immediate thought: "If you gonna eat people, please at least don't chew so loudly!" This: "This Adumbrae should be classified as a UM, an Unripe Manifestation—Fidgeting Hoodie wasn’t able to keep his shit together and transformed into a feral beast." - and the paragraph after that. I understand the need to provide some exposition, but it seems a bit uncalled for Erind to think about this stuff that should be obvious to the people in the novel's world or to Erind specifically. Maybe, add a little thought, like, since the dude manifested so fast, his family likely won't be held liable in court - again, pointing to Erinds law education, calm mind, and a tendency to think a lot when shit hits the fan. "“I’m not a mathematician so I won’t try to calculate,” In-Charge Man said." - Since Erind knows about Adumbrae quite a lot (judging by the previous text), she might have like a fast calculation, smth like "If the probability of meeting an Adumbrae on public transport is one to a million, the probability of meeting two is one to a million of millions. You don't need to be a mathematician to know this." - this would add some smug personality trait to her. Not sure if Erind is supposed to be a little smug inside or not, though. "“There’s someone on the roof!” I pointed up. “Or something…” I had wanted to use that line for a long time. I was glad I said it now because I might die soon." - this is a cool line indeed :) Isn't it a good place to also introduce the concept of faces? Like, "Right now I am wearing a scared girl face, a cliche lifted mostly from the B-movies, but seems appropriate". "Remembering what the other Adumbrae did, I crouched and pulled In-Charge Man too. “Down, down!”" - Why, though? It seems like Edind actually cares for somebody else's life, but is she supposed to? - My concern with this chapter is Erind being too evil this early, and not caring for others. We know she really doesn't care for others, but is it too much here? Mostly, I'm thinking of the reaction of new readers who don't know her. On the flip side, it might be better if they know early she's like this - lol, considering my comment above. No, I think she should care even less. Here, you really introduce the character, her inner thoughts, and I think it is totally fine to show that she is not normal at all, and she tries to hide it, and she is constantly aware of other people who might notice her not being normal, and that could be something that really bothers her: it is either being "normal" and dying or not being normal and surviving.
