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[REND] 7.4 Inhuman Besties

🕑 Added 2025-06-13 13:24:29 +0000 UTC

Comments

Temple (REND)

Yeah, I added a bit that Deen already noticed she's regenerating before this. And some ExD won't hurt, lol.

Jayem

> “The hand has lots of nerves, pain receptors we should avoid,” she said. “Cut my arm. Around here.” She pointed at a spot four inches below her wrist. “A small cut, please.” “You researched this, huh?” That’s a self-harm flag :D Hopefully the research happened AFTER she found out that she will be getting regeneration powers. > “I’m being serious here, Erind.” She reached over my side and pinched my leg Ayo? Keep your weirdness internal Deen. It’s not yet time for that. At least it’s the vague “leg” and not yet “thigh” XD

Temple (REND)

Oh yeah, for the phones I just let them be with esims and not really delve into models and compatibility of back up haha. The next time Erind loses another phone, I'll just add a line about esims and backups, and then just let the reader elaborate for themselves from there.

Temple (REND)

It's fun, isn't it? XD

Karp Paul

Erind could wonder if being a Corebring offset the charges of being an Adumbrae. If she could become a Corebring, does that mean there are Adumbrae in the Corebring Hive. What if they tried to prosecute them? Erind Hartwell is developing a whole new legal field! - That is an interesting question to discuss in class.

Vaporus

Excellent writing, good stuff! Just my thoughts but might mention something earlier than was done about the phone replacements. I'm assuming they have esims and have the same number and loaded backups in or something but not everyone would assume so. What if Erind had been runnin with a Cyborg but Deen only had old Orange uPhones and her backup was incompatible. I know I spent a lot of the previous version baffled about where all these phones were coming from and the ease of not losing contacts or ending up with a new number. On another note. In the last version many Corebrings were mutated but their initial change were held at the Core facilities. Are we going with this being some sort of war between the same or similar supernatural beings but one is just better at making themselves look good?

Vaporus

I like these

OmniHumanist

Typos: “Miss Hartwell, go ahead,” said the professor -> “Miss Hartwell, go ahead,” said the professor. The overwhelming power that I transformed returned to me. -> The overwhelming power that I had when I transformed returned to me. (It's a bit weird since Erind doesn't actually transform). ----- So far, I couldn’t carry out Rule #4 because it would clash with Rule #2. But maybe, I could bully her a bit sometimes. -> Technically that would be Rule #4 right? Since bullying is bothering. More specifically, Deen yelping like a choked goose. -> Interesting imagery. “It worked!” Deen cheered, almost jumping out of her seat. “It really—wait. I shouldn’t be celebrating…” She slowly sat back down, staring at a spot of red on the table. It was a droplet of her blood. “I-I’m no longer human.” -> Erind could cheer up Deen by saying at least she's not an Adumbrae. Perhaps they could look back on this after their first mission. “Sure did.” I waved the phone with a flowery pink casing. I’d never buy something like this even if a gun were pointed at me. And guns couldn’t threaten me much these days. -> Deen is subsidizing Erind's tech lol. There should probably be a comment about Deen losing her phone too. Also, maybe Erind wonders if she becomes bullet resistant. She could think about trying to shoot like her hand or something. But where to find a gun? “Yes, Mom,” I said. -> Deen is both Erind's Mom and Big Sister! I always chuckled when Latin maxims were mentioned. It sounded like we were casting magic spells. My momentary amusement faded, and it was back to Boring Land. -> Clearly this means that Erind's Corebring face should be something magical, like a magical girl cheerleader! The fact that I was an Adumbrae, or turning into one, was a crime in and of itself, even if I didn’t kill anybody. A crime punishable by death. The death penalty was not legal in all states, but execution of an Adumbrae was a separate case—they… we… weren’t considered humans. -> Erind could wonder if being a Corebring offset the charges of being an Adumbrae. If she could become a Corebring, does that mean there are Adumbrae in the Corebring Hive. What if they tried to prosecute them? Erind Hartwell is developing a whole new legal field! Also, rip Ramello. He's missing from this class now. Afternoon came, and I was waiting for Deen. I still didn’t have an answer to those questions. -> I guess we have the incentive for Erind to turn into Blanchette lol. The personalities linger after using the mask. This mission Deen mentioned, including the preparation and other shenanigans, will take up the latter half of Book 1. I have a rough plan for it, and I'm going to detail it further. I'm allergic to plotting, but I have to do it to control the pacing. I admit that we've terribly slowed the pace during the 5 and 6 segments. I should have been more watchful, because this is one of my bad habits in the original version of REND. -> We're actually at the halfway point! This is the 30th chapter of the arc. I've felt like the pacing is pretty good so far, everything seems purposeful. I think arc 3 in the last version was the main thing that had pacing issues, because it was mostly fighting a bunch of different monsters in the same location. Maybe splitting it up into several locations would be better with downtime in between? Thanks for the chapter!

Karp Paul

I got very few comments this time. Maybe, I will re-read it later and come up with more notes. “Just the thought of the blade against my skin…” She hugged herself and shivered. - Deen is being incoherent here. Asking to wound her, and then having this kind of reaction to the mere idea of it. I think, she should propose something way less extreme, like, pricking her finger with a needle. I don't really understand the goal of this scene. If this is to test out the abilities. They can start small, like a using a needle or smth, then seeing the reaction (regeneration), they can get excited and try more stuff, like using a knife and being in awe about how the skin regenerates. It can be quite playful and serve as a way to release some steam for them after a very long and stressful day. Maybe it was for the best that I got attacked by an Adumbrae last Monday. - It was still the same week, btw. I would replace "last Monday" with "on Monday". The entire class didn’t know that one of their classmates could kill all of them right here, right now. - It is a good place to mention Kelsey, who, as we found out, was also an Adumbrae. Now, who else might be an Adumbrae? That is a question I would be asking myself in a boring class. Also, a good opportunity to dump some exposition about classmates.

Krzychu0304

I love it so much when Erind experiences this bundle of adumbrae desires...

Klakkers

She do be rolling in the ragou to much

Metal(Liz)ard🏳️‍⚧️

Erind has had a taste of the blanchette soup and is already hooked lol. She doesn't even need spookyerind influencing her. I forgot her hair slowly turned white last time i think i just tuned it out


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