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[REND] 12.2 - Adore Your Core

🕑 Added 2025-07-02 10:18:29 +0000 UTC

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Temple (REND)

The original title was something boring. I eventually thought of Adore your Core right before publishing the chapter. In the original, Deen immediately had the desire to be a hero. Here, we can flesh that out. Cool suggestion about the Core "foresight". I'll add a couple of examples, including Madagascar. I'll add that the think Deen's power is a hallucination. Though it really wouldn't matter if the Guardian Angel is there or not because they'll think the power is the "voice". Lol, kilometer. I always miss the metric. Yep, the butt slap part was too forced. Thanks for the feedback!

Karp Paul

I must say that I really like the title "Adore your core". The universe was conspiring to ensure that she was the main character instead of me. - I like this idea of Deen having a hero-arc. “There are rumors of Corebring seers,” Dario said. “It’s logical to assume the Hive has ways of predicting the future, given the relative peace we’re experiencing. The world’s population has exploded since the end of the Adumbrae War. One would assume that the Adumbrae seeding rate would increase proportionally with the population, but we have only this one Purple Bloom at present. Compare that to multiple during the Adumbrae War. The Corebrings must’ve some way of nipping disastrous seedings in the bud.” - I think this explanation would be much better if you mention some specific case. For example, Dario can tell of a possible bloom that was stopped before it started, and he knew that through the Professor. The current explanation does not really scream "foresight". Mentioning the Professor and some secret, off-news events would highlight that there is so much more going on that regular people don't know about. Deen shook her head. “You’ll just touch air. It’s like a ghost that only I could see.” She glanced at me, and our eyes met. - I feel like somebody should mention at some point that this might also be a hallucination, and it is actually Deen the sees the future. Like a kilometer? - Kilometer lol. “Even protects against butt slaps,” I muttered under my breath. - I think this line is a bit out of place.

Temple (REND)

- Oh, I forgot that Erind hates touch. I'll edit that line a bit. - Lol, Erind already knows Deen's power - Erind will have to get a power yes. It won't be base Erind. The current tossup in my mind is either a new mask or upgrade the masks given by Spooky Erind. - Nah, Erind's not going to fight Deen haha. Maybe we can have the Myra training session from before added here. - Yeah, the 3Bs will be back haha. Thanks for the help proofreading!

OmniHumanist

Typos: I muttered under my breathe. -> I muttered under my breath. ----- Myra stopped me from fake falling to my side. She wasn’t so bad. -> Wow, Erind doesn't even feel bad about being touched? Myra is now a new candidate for Erind's harem of superpowered women. “Whoever guesses correctly gets a kiss from Deen!” -> Quick Erind, it's your chance! I really wasn’t sure if I’d get one separate from my Adumbrae power. -> Hopefully, at least Blanchette will get a tail. Another idea I had was what if Erind's base form doesn't have a power, so she's forced to use the transformations that SpookyErind gives her? And then for like the support / deception masks, they have the different Rules ability that No Name has mentioned before. That way, it plays into the theme of Erind being a synthesis of both a Corebring and an Adumbrae. And it encourages Erind to use her masks. On the other hand, I don’t know when Spooky Erind will give Erind more masks, so a base power might be useful for Erind, otherwise, it’d be pretty awkward and suspicious how Erind is the only one without a power in the group. I threw a hook punch, following what I saw on an internet video. My punch took a chunk off the column. -> Erind and Deen fight next chapter? Hype! Erind and Deen are making a mini faction of their own. -> They can use the 2B's name from the previous version. Or if they add Myra, they can be the 3B's. Black, Blonde, and Blue. Thanks for the chapter!


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