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[REND] B2. 17.1 - An Offer I Might Refuse

🕑 Added 2026-01-01 05:45:21 +0000 UTC

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Temple (REND)

I hope other people grow to like him too. He'll be around for awhile.

Blake

I like overdrive, I hope he survives a while

Temple (REND)

- Yep, that's the plot hole that I realized after writing the chapter. Still, the Core had to be doing something abnormal that some sensors can detect. My solution to this is that the Core turns 'on' when in use. In Deen's case, it's constantly in use because Gabe is around. I think that mostly solves it. - I'll add some details in answering the question. - It'll be different if Deen knows Erind is Erind and calls her boss. I think it'll be better if Erind maintains her current dynamic with Deen instead of becoming a leader. - I'll reword that part about Erind's intentions because she has been banking on that cancer thing back then and that she still is somewhat human. - I'll add that inhibitions part to Erind's explanation. - But Erind doesn't know how to make an Adumbrae, even if she could somewhat counteract an already seeded person. So far, only the 2Ms can make fake Adumbrae, and that's under the 2Ms control so Overdrive wouldn't want that anyway. Erind doesn't want to promise Overdrive anything yet until she knows more. - I'll just remove about Deen talking, but the main reason is still it's safest for Erind to have Deen beside her. Erind doesn't think there's going to be actual negotiations anyway, so the talking is the least of her worries. Overdrive will just die. Kelsey can't be in front because she can't use her teleportations powers, plus they caught her once, they'll just incapacitate her again. Erind thinks this is a trap, so the fighting and killing people is her priority. After knowing Myra, the PCM can figure out the rest eventually anyway. - True, I'll add some lines that the goons are surprised with Blanchette form. But they've seen videos of the docks attack, so they know their boss can grow. - Thanks for your help! I'll edit stuff in this chapter later. The more things get complicated, the more chances of holes appearing.

Temple (REND)

Deen probably wouldn't listen to Gabe's instructions anyway haha

Temple (REND)

Thanks for the support!

Temple (REND)

Thank you!

No Name

"...She’s flesh and blood. I know she’s not a regular human though, because of this… strange… energy signature on her chest.” -> This is a sizable plot hole for the entire core project... in a world where public surveillance would logically be looking for any sort of anomalies, a simple optical detector which can be fit in a human eye socket can observe the cores presence in the body, and that it radiates an anomalous energy signature? The core project bunch would be caught the first time they showed their faces in public. Did he also never turn this sensor on Erind? "It’s too complicated to explain." -> Blatantly blowing off a question which amounts to "why are we going to war and risking our lives", is a quick way to lose loyalty from anyone. Maybe say that Deens ability is incredibly valuable, and that Erind wants to rope her in under her command (It would require some shuffling of the dialogue to have Erinds confirmation that Deen isn't human first)? Deen has basically handed Erind her leash at this point, and Erind just needs to yank it. "Maybe I could get Deen to do it before revealing that I was Erind?" -> Erind could get Deen to do it after as well; She'd want to rope Deen into your anti-professor preparations either way. No reason to abandon the position as the top dog (bad pun intended, still salty golden Blanchette didn't get a dog collar) of the operation just because she showed her face. "I never intended to pretend to be a full-blown Adumbrae in the first place" -> Erind very much did deliberately allow them to misunderstand that she was a CM previously during the meeting with the boss trio... “Think of it more like a new personality, but I’m still me,” I said." -> Probably not the best way to describe it... This implies some degree of identity loss. Maybe something like being the same person, but I can do more than before, so the inhibitions naturally come off? "“It comes with many downsides,” I said, making a mental note of this. Someday, I could tell Overdrive that I knew how to make him an Adumbrae..." -> Dumb direction by Erind here; This was the perfect chance to inform Overdrive about what she actually did with Keke, and that she has the ability to enforce a humans control against the adumbrae. If Overdrive (or others in the gang) become adumbrae dependent on Erind to retain control, that would be ideal. One, they'd need Erind for survival, and two, they are now more useful to Erind. Becoming adums, or just recruiting them in general should be secretly encouraged. "The problem was that Deen would do the talking." -> That is likely the dumbest possible choice here. Kelsey could talk, Overdrive could talk, a random goon could do the talking, but not Deen. Not without a voice changer and a thorough disguise at least. Erind already clued in the PCM would figure Myra being one of RHs as a bluff, and the situation being what it is, the one thing Erind should not do is give the PCM reason to believe RH is actually in with Myra and her crew, that the attacks might actually have been RHs doing, and that the hostage plan might actually work. Deen was spotted, and heard, along with Myra, so she cannot speak here. Not out loud; having her next to the speaker giving quiet advice could work, assuming no enhanced hearing aids. Deen should also completely conceal her appearance either way; not just with a flimsy mask, but full-body. "Everyone piled out of their vehicles for one last pep talk from Overdrive." -> There would have been some confusion here: The goons have only ever seen tiny RH. RH is now in large form, that the goons haven't seen, meaning they wouldn't know where the boss went, and who the new chick is.

Cheese Bread

Happy New Year!

Vaporus

Seems interesting Overdrive can sense the Cores. Means other augs should be able to as well. BID?

Vaporus

Excellent writing, good stuff!

KanadianKitsune

The problem was that Deen would do the talking. Even if I could write stuff, Deen might ruin the ideal scenario I’d concoct by blabbing with her self-righteous mouth. -> or because Gabe told her to...

ARIMA Maroon

Typos: I think this level of darkness for a tint probably wasn’t road-worthy. -> Should be italicized since it's in present tense. For all I know, there could be monsters out there. -> For all I knew, there could be monsters out there. End the ‘war’ by capturing the enemy kind. -> End the ‘war’ by capturing the enemy king. Maybe the PCM knew that I had Kelsey, and she ratted out to me that the PCM were bastards experimenting on our kind? -> Maybe the PCM knew that I had Kelsey, and she ratted me out. She probably said the PCM were bastards experimenting on our kind? I had thought of going in my Erind—I could talk to them my artificial Core would negate some effects of their anti-Adumbrae machines. -> I had thought of going in my Erind form—I could talk to them while my artificial Core would negate some effects of their anti-Adumbrae machines. ----- Given these possibilities, why would the PCM want to meet with me? -> Maybe they didn't bother saying they didn't want to meet with her after capturing Myra. And I was going to save Myra to add to my minion pile. -> And polycule / harem. “You were looking at her chest, huh?” Maybe I should slam Overdrive’s head on the steering wheel. Just being a protective bestie here. -> Aww, Erind is thinking of protecting Deen. Although, if Erind thinks of Deen as her minion, it's more that she's protecting her stuff. There’s this energy inside her. It’s not a battery like some of the more advanced augmented people have. I don’t know what to compare it with. -> Should Overdrive mention that Erind also has this since she has a Core too? I’m not sure how it is with other seeded people, but the Adumbrae who had latched onto me seems to be very chill. -> Erind x Spooky Erind moments, aww, how cute. Someday, I could tell Overdrive that I knew how to make him an Adumbrae, even if I didn’t, dangling it as some sort of salvation. That’d certainly make him loyal to me. -> Or maybe an Artificial Core might be more useful. She can take one from Dario’s corpse and give it to him, that way she doesn't have to run the risk of him going rogue. Thanks for the chapter!


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