Lillene
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Appendix 5 - Commentary and Reference Info
🕑 Added 2021-09-20 23:01:00 +0000 UTCNote for today - it turns out that I made a mistake and used Sterath instead of Stallet for Raz's Academy/City/ancestor. Oops. I've fixed these mistakes, and will try to use them correctly moving forward.
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Author’s Commentary
I’m not planning on rewriting anything soon, but I thought I’d share my thoughts with you on how the ride’s been so far. Bumpy is probably the first word that comes to mind. Since I didn’t talk about the first arc then, I’ll do it now.
This may or may not be obvious (it probably is), but this wasn’t intended to be a complete arc on its own. When I planned it out, I expected this to take about 20K words and serve as the intro to what’s coming next. I was very, very wrong about how long this would take (okay, yes, I did add Vladimir and a little bit of Raz that weren’t part of the original plan, but I don’t think that’s where it went wrong).
With that said, I’m sitting at a notably higher word count for the arc and I haven’t even gotten to what I intended the main thrust of the second arc to be. So I’m going to cut this arc here and put the exploration of Tzintkra and what happens on Earth into the third arc.
If I had it to do again, I’d do something about the pacing. Both arcs have a pacing issue; I think it’s because I decided ahead of time what the structure would be and wrote it into the story. This meant that I couldn’t cut structure to make it fit the story better without changing stuff I’d already published.
If I were to rewrite Arc 1, I think I’d spread out the events that happen in the first few days so the resolution of the attempted murder falls at about the end of Stage 1. I think I’d change the structure of the Tutorial a bit as well; I like the overall idea of the way it’s training people, but it could be shorter and/or hanage the Trials a bit less rigidly and that might help. I’d also change the breakup with Rissa - either tell it from her perspective or add a POV chapter for her. I’m pretty sure her side of the breakup didn’t come through at all well. She’s not supposed to be an entirely sympathetic character for the first arc, but with none of her POV on it, it’s pretty harsh.
One note of interest: The reason Serenity ended up in the position he’s in, teaching everyone and doing Trials with them … is because of Raymond’s suggestion to Lancaster. He was an antagonist and entirely interested in how it would help him, but his suggestion was good and adopted by the protagonist. For some reason I find that amusing.
Arc 2 suffered even more from pacing issues, and it’s probably harder to fix. Because I intended it as a bridge section, it didn’t have a strong driving narrative other than ‘finishing the Tutorial’ even though a lot of things happened - it ended up more ‘slice of life’ than I intended to have last this long. I think the best way to fix it would be to move the first evolution and Death Eater Path to the beginning, possibly right after the beginning of Stage 2. That would give me more time to show the things Serenity and his friends tried to fix his issue that didn’t work and at the same time it would allow me to stretch out the gains a bit; they’re all clustered at the end of the arc, which happened because of the way I set things up but really isn’t desirable. I think that would make the arc better.
I’m happy with where we’ve ended up; we’re pretty much where I’d planned to be when the Tutorial ended (even if a few events have gone off in their own direction which wasn’t always the direction I thought they’d take).
I have tentative titles for the Arcs so far - Arc 1 is After the End, Arc 2 is Time or Death, and Arc 3 is Braving the Necropolis.
I hope you’re looking forward to Act 3 as much as I am!
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Reference Information (Incomplete but I thought you might be interested)
Standard Path progression
Level 10 - Utility
Level 25 - stats
Level 50 - Combat
Level 75 - path-related
Level 100 - capstone
Common Utility Path Skills
Loot
Identify
Analyze
Inventory
Equip
Party
Aspect Progression
Initiated
Nascent
Growth
Skill (Basic/Adept/Master)
Art (Basic/Adept/Master/Supreme)
Unity
(Unlabeled) - Order’s Voice calls this “complete” but there’s no note on the Status
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Serenity’s tattoos (seven) -
Both sides of the head, at the temples - protect the head
Left and right sides of the neck - protect the neck
Top and bottom of the spine (so back of the head and at the tailbone) - protect the spine. Secondary protection for limbs and anything connected to the spine (would include the torso but since it has separate protection…)
Over the sternum - Protect anything contained in the ribcage. Secondary protection for the remainder of the torso.
Primary protection is for anything that can be an instant kill/disable. Two tattoos are required for anything where there isn’t a true symbolic center, which is why the sternum can cover the ribcage.
Secondary is for anything else
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Moira’s first Path
Mage
Level 10 - Magesight
Level 25 - stats
Level 50 - Levin Bolt
Level 75 - Condense Temporary Item (low quality, takes time to cast - makes an item from mana)
Level 100 - Increased Mana Recharge Rate
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Lancaster’s first Path
Shielding Sword
Your sword shelters the weak in its wake.
Level 10: Weak Gut Feeling
You have an increased chance to notice things that are dangerous to you or your allies. Dependent on Perception.
Level 25: +30 Might, +40 Agility, +40 Phys, +40 Perception
Level 50: Basic Sword Use
Only practice will bring improvement on the Path of the Sword.
Level 75: Sword’s Wake
Create a wave emanating from your sword that pushes away from you. Does not deal additional damage. Dependent on Might. Consumes Stamina.
Level 100: A Shield of Swords
While wielding a sword, you can select one person other than yourself to shield. This person gains slight protection from physical attacks and damage is dealt to attackers proportionate to the damage resisted by the shield. Amount resisted dependant on Phys. Consumes Stamina.
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Echo’s first Path
The Sound of Silence
You hear even the unspoken word, the missing drip, the held breath.
Level 10: Hear and Understand
Determine your surroundings based on sound. Allows hearing to be used as an additional targeting sense.
Level 25: +10 Basic Stats, +50 Perception, +10 Luck, +5% Luck, Unlocks Luck and Luck%
Level 50: Sonic Bolt
A basic Tier 1 ranged attack. Damage based on Understanding, chance to affect target based on Will. Additional effect from sound-related Affinities, Concepts, and Aspects. Costs Mana.
Level 75: Unspoken Word
Your Luck and Luck% passively increase the chance that others will say things that you need to hear - and decrease the chance that things that should not be said will be spoken aloud. This skill may also be used actively at the cost of mana. When used actively, it is also modified by your Will.
Level 100: Sonic Enhancement
You can make the loud louder and the quiet quieter … or the opposite.
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Serenity’s Paths
Tier 0 - Death Eater
Commonly found on highly elemental worlds, Element Eaters are considered minor pests, and usually remain as animals. Some have been successfully raised in captivity, though the pet market is believed to be limited due to their low power ceiling and strict dietary requirements.
Element Eaters are magical animals that grow throughout their lives. If they grow large enough, they can develop a core and evolve into a humanoid monster. Once an Element Eater develops a core, it is a more serious concern, as it can directly drain the area of the element, allowing the Element Eater to gain some magical ability.
The preferred food of an Element Eater is elementals of their element. Death Eaters deserve special note, as they have a second preferred food: undead. Element Eaters cannot gain sustenance from food that does not contain their element, and therefore if an area has an elemental shift, a change in Elemental Eater abundance is often the first sign.
Fun fact: Frilled lizards are one of the few lizards that can move bipedally at slow speeds. Most lizards have to run. Some can even run across water.
Path -
Level 10 - Loot Core - teleports a monster core from touched monster body to the user. Usable on any dead monster with a core.
Level 25 - Draconic Shapeshift - An adult dragon is a force to behold, but there are many places they simply can’t go. Young dragons are commonly taught to take on another form, often humanoid, to fit in small places and interact with non-dragons. You can shift between your Draconic base form and your True Chimera form. Costs mana.
Level 50 - Deathstrike - Infuse your body or weapons with Death energy to deal additional damage
Level 75 - Resilience of the Dead - Slightly increased resistance to certain status alterations
Level 100 - Eat Death - absorb Death energy found within the Death Eater’s aura. Absorption based on Affinity. Intensity of absorption can be varied but the ability cannot be completely disabled. Absorbed Death energy may be consumed or used to restore mana or stamina. (Serenity can’t turn it down until his Aspect is complete)
Battle Adept
Claw or fist, spear or magic, the method does not matter, only the goal is important.
Level 10 - Basic Analyze - Analyze a being for basic information. The being may be animal, Pathed, or monster. Other beings may be analyzed if they have any appropriate features. Items may not be analyzed.
Level 25 - Intermediate Unarmed Combat (Claw Variant) - Losing your weapons is not a disaster when you have weapons attached to your hands. Your expertise with claws is nearly nonexistent, but your general training with unarmed combat is transferable.
Level 50 - Infused strike - Infuse your body or weapons with energy to deal additional damage. Replaces Deathstrike. May use any Affinity held. Power of infusion scales with Affinity used. Costs Stamina.
Level 75 - Far Strike - Discharge the magic infused in your weapon to strike a single opponent at a distance. Stamina cost increases with distance.
Level 100 - Adept Aspect Form - Instead of infusing an Affinity into your weapon, infuse your Aspect into yourself. Limited time, consumes both stamina and mana, induces unconsciousness when the Form lapses.
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Serenity’s Titles
Previous Supreme Existence
You were the Supreme Existence in a previous incarnation, and can remember some of what came before. Your status also grants you the Ghost in the System title. This title is hidden from all but you.
First of A Kind
You are the first True Chimera and the first Essence Dragon. Your Paths shall shape the future of those who follow in your footsteps.
Named
Your Name is known and respected or feared. No other can bear this Name.
Ghost in the System
You bypass certain restrictions. This title is hidden unless you share it with another.
Aspect Pathfinder
As the first person to discover a new Aspect, Concept, and Affinity, you set the path for those who follow you on the road of Essence Magic. Creating new methods and applying methods from other magical schools is easier.
Incarnate
More than an Aspect, you are an Incarnate. Your Concept sets what the meaning of the Affinity you Incarnate does and does not mean. Your Incarnate will always be a part of you, and you will always be a part of it.
As an Incarnate, you are not capable of combining or otherwise altering this Affinity.
There cannot be more than one Incarnate for an Affinity at a time, as no two people will ever have identical Conceptions of an Affinity.
