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MARCH MADNESS 2023 - Day 26
🕑 Added 2023-03-26 16:00:06 +0000 UTCThe Ocean’s movies just drowned the Turtles. Sorry, folks.
Up today - a series of films about COPS BEING COOL, and a series of films about MOBSTERS BEING FUNNY.
It’s POLICE STORY vs. THE JELLY TRILOGY.
With POLICE STORY, we’d do 5 films:
- Police Story (1985)
- Police Story 2 (1988)
- Police Story 3: Supercop (1992)
- Crime Story (1993)
- First Strike (1996)
We will not be covering Supercop 2 (not enough Chan) nor the “reboots” New Police Story and Police Story 2013.
With the JELLY TRILOGY - a thing that exists and we did not make up - we would cover 3 mafia comedies that feature character actor Joe Viterelli:
- Analyze This (1999)
- Analyze That (2002)
- Mickey Blue Eyes (1999)
Will our guy Jelly wobble-wobble to the final four? Or does Chan have the edge to take him out?
Comments
outb0undflight
Yeah that's the part that's confusing to me.
Michael Harrison
I think it might be because they like it?
Kristin
Jelly noooo!
Jason Coates
jackie moves real good
Tyler Duggan
I can’t wait for Ocean’s to wipe the floor with Police Story. Criminals make for better characters to follow in a narrative than cops.
outb0undflight
Every year people vote en masse for Police Story and every year I ask myself...why?
Aidan
jelly you deserved better. sorry they were too afraid
Michael Mayer
I see the point, but tbh I only made it through 15 min of the Dundee II commentary. For three episodes, I need more than dull plotting and lazy jokes at the center. And plus everything about the late-DeNiro comedies depresses me a little. But I understand the appeal of hearing G&D giddy over a Jelly trilogy.
Chris Lynch
Wait it’s 50/50. Who Won??
FreakaJebus
Thank goodness.
Stephen Mochan
Rigged
Christopher Roundhill
Dat's fukkin' weird
Dustin Philipson
Rigged 😜
Luca Bruno
guys... who won??
magicaljohnson
Love you Marie
JB
ACAB. But also AJID All Jelly Is Delicious
Perry
Please vote for Police Story
Rosemarie
he has never once said “dat’s fuckin weird”. how is this even a debate?
JB
Obligatory if you’re still in line stay in line post
Sofia Car
its a nail biter folks!!
Philippe Gariépy
This is absolute chaos.
Cody F. Schmidt
J E L L Y
Gabe Kroeger
It’s JACKIE CHAN. The man acts, directs, sings, does his own stunts, dresses like he dgaf. How is this even a debate??
JB
For anyone who doesn’t want either to win, may I point your attention to the fact that the jelly series will be a month shorter
Rosemarie
may i point you, dear listener, to the crocodile dundee commentaries, three of the most entertaining episodes ever released on the patreon?
Boogie
Please Jelly Please
Judson Greene
das fuckin weird
Michael Mayer
Sure hoping it’s Jelly’s Last Jam (couldn’t resist). And yet somehow neck and neck. Old Dogs / Book of Henry-style commentary can be entertaining once in a while but going in with 3 mediocre to bad movies sounds bleak.
Fred
I got my bread, my peanut butter, just missing one thing
Daniel McLane
Das a bit fucking close
Anthony Regina
Wow dead heat
Rosemarie
jelly is the only way we’re avoiding my personal hell of six weeks of scream movies so i’m ride or die for jelly
Botbotb
Jelly took my beloved Hellraiser, if it had to take that then let Jelly take it all. We must become one with Jelly.
Nicholas Hoffman
MBCJA
Trevor McCandless
too late.
Philip M Bernstein
Might fuck around and start a second Patreon account to vote for Police Story again
Michael Natale
Tired: Vote Jelly because it's funny Wired: With no totally surprising, out of left field underdogs to root for in the main feed bracket anymore, likely heading to another obvious populist winner there for the second year, voting for Jelly is the only way we can still get that rush of the Nancy/Demme "out of the box choice" wins this year. And also, it's funny.
Jonathon Pernisek
The. Jelly. Bit. STIIIIIIIINKS.
Sam Russell
America is a 5 letter word: J E L L Y
James A'Herne
Last minute switch to Jelly. Would prefer to watch Police Story but hear about Jelly
Refridganinja
It's the opposite of Alien Versus Predator. Whoever wins, we all win.
Jonah
What was that year?
Brynndiana Jones
JELLY
Parsalian
You ever try to spread Cops on a crumpet?? Jelly is just the logical choice here.
Rad Rodge
I mean, I did not love it, so I think you’re right
Filip Boratyn
People who are saying that this is a no bits podcast are missing the point that Jelly is not a bit
Bill Sweet
Come on, people, don't get jelly-pilled
Joe Arvis
Where did this Jelly Hive come from? What is happening?
Perry
Police Story is one of my favorite series, not like this :(
Matthew Levell
Vote Jelly!
Peter Angelinas
JELLY IS INCHING CLOSER #DONTBEFUCKINWEIRD #VOTEJELLY
Matthew Farthing
And perhaps, most importantly, they have Jelly in them.
Kevin Rowley
David's point from the latest patreon ep was valid. The Jelly movies are easy, light movies that will make for good commentaries! And there's only three of them.
Philip Munroe
Cant believe we’re gonna meme ourselves into a a Jelly commentary series. This is 2016 all over again
Matthew Farthing
Ok. We need to retire the bit. We all had a laugh, but now the joke that Police Story should beat The Jelly Trilogy has gotten out of control and it's time to send the bit to the rafters.
James Smith
The whole Jelly thing smacks of mid-2000s "random" humour on the internet. Jelly out!
Tyler Duggan
I say we get both and 0% copaganda!
Kevin Merryman
C'mon Jackie, wrap this thing up!
Clammy_Damp
Ein thousand jares jelly
Jonathon Pernisek
Saying it again: The Jelly bit STIIIIIIIIIIINKS.
Mauricio Salas
The Turtles had to atone for the sin of beating father Karras to death
Mauricio Salas
If you'll glorify criminals at least give serve it to us with a side of Jelly.
EvanEightNine !
Fucking wild!
Jake Maringoni
“DATS FUCKED UP!!!” - Jelly
Kaitlin
A vote for Jelly is a vote for goodness in this crazy, crazy world
Theodore Rosenblum
The Police Story movies are great, but the commentaries would be 70% “oh wow that rocked,” 20% talking Jackie Chan’s American career, 5% Griffin stressing out talking Chan’s CCP support and 5% unrelated fucking around. Vote Jelly. The movies may be mediocre but Jelly is perfect. Jelly’s MY jam.
Kelly Briscoe
Cool kids vote for Jelly
Holden Martinson
After seeing the disrespect of David giving Magnificent Warriors 3 stars on LB, it's clear Hong Kong martial arts is a must for the boys. (This is a joke. I think Police Story is more fun than Jelly.)
Ben Goodman
Agree with this. What I loved about the Nancy Meyers, James L Brooks and Nora Ephron minis is you all talked about comedies in a deep way, which you never see. You all are great talking about anything (and found new angles with heavily documented filmmakers like Kubrick), but I think there's a true value of having 2+ hour dissections of movies like Something's Gotta Give, as most people just think "it's cute!" and leave it there.
Philip M Bernstein
Instead of Jelly can we just get Harold Ramis on the main feed? Last mostly-comedy mini was May, two years ago, would be nice to have another.
Andrew Spitzer
Come on people Jelly is so close. Vote Jelly!
Mark Adkins
Copaganda with sick stunts.
Philip M Bernstein
If we're all so suggestible that watching Jackie Chan drive a car through a shantytown is going to make us love real life cops none of us should be on the Internet at all.
Louis IV
If you loved the Old Dogs commentary as much as I did, you would be voting Jelly
Tyler Duggan
Nothing has diminishing returns quite like Copaganda, tho
Tyler Duggan
That series was going to be really radical, dude. And they totally snubbed our bodacious good time.
Tyler Duggan
Who said it’s a bit? You think dedicated, valuable, and loyal friends, even among criminals, is a bit? Now Copaganda for Chinese Govnt… that’s a bit
Tyler Duggan
It’s like that Conan bit where if the joke keeps going and going, it goes through phases. One is it stops being funny… and then it immediately gets 10x funnier. But you must persist through the naysayers. And the Chinese Copaganda
Tyler Duggan
But not by Copaganda
Tyler Duggan
Finally someone gets it!
Tyler Duggan
Hey now, both have EXCELLENT movies. But Jelly ain’t Copaganda. He ain’t no snitch, y’know
Tyler Duggan
Boo, Copaganda! Yay, Hong Kong martial arts dramas but, BOOOO Chinese Copaganda!
Tyler Duggan
Chinese Copaganda is still
Tyler Duggan
You deserve to lose Weir to deal Toro, though. That’s the trick. Jelly is just an innocent guy who is just doing the thing for that guy in a place, y’know?
Tyler Duggan
Just cuz the copaganda takes place in China, doesn’t make it not-Copaganda! Gimme the real heroes, the real working class man! JEEELLLEEEHHHH!
Bridget Coulter
This is so stressful god I hope Jelly wins
Tyler Duggan
Yeah, but… Jelly!
Bob Sacamano
Jelly for a 1000 years!!
CT
If precedent holds, the hosts will thumb the scales in the final hours for Jelly (RIP Hellraiser, which held a commanding lead until the final moments when Blankies were literally commanded to vote Jelly). Jelly movies suck, we’re being given the chance to talk PPRE-HOLLYWOOD Jackie Chan! Hell, we’re being given a chance to talk Jackie Chan period! Hong Kong cinema! Michelle Yeoh! You want to throw that away over a jokey meme of a series? Now DATS fucked up.
Charlotte Langdon
jellyyyyyy
Alex
I agree with this.
Anthony Regina
I truly hope Police Story maintains this slight lead
Josh Harvey
Neck and neck
Donald W Pratt
When it became hilarious.
Curtis Brewster
Jelly, forever.
Jacob Raleigh
If I lose Weir and Jelly two days in a row, I will lose all hope in humanity. Don’t do that to me.
Champagne and Gummy bears
I don’t understand how this keeps happening. Obviously I love Police Story but it’s Jelly, it’s gotta be Jelly
Alexander Seiler
That's why I voted for Jelly
Nathan Knowles
I don’t want peace. I want problems always.
Theodore Rosenblum
vote Jelly, vote a winner
John Phillips
ACAB includes Jackie Chan. Vote Jelly!
Jonathon Pernisek
They're very clearly going to do the Jelly Trilogy because they're simply too tickled by their own bit, so don't worry about Jelly. They will do Jelly.
Omeed
Please vote for the franchise with good movies
Luke West
he might!
Alex Lovendahl
the police story delegation does not claim any of the people being weird about jelly. i just wanna hear ben react to the mall fight in police story and the supercop wheel
Selmon Rafey
I would have considered voting for the Analyze movies anyway, but packaging in Mickey Blue Eyes (meaning commentary on Hugh Grant stretching his shtick to its limits) through this sweaty connection pushes it all the way for me
Alex Lovendahl
are they really as bad, chris. is jelly going to put brett kavanaugh on the supreme court, chris
Teddy Silva
Vote Police Story guys come on
Robin Tali
Jelly robbed Hellraiser, we get what we deserve
Michael Perry
Jackie: https://www.vice.com/en/article/wxqkn5/heres-why-jackie-chan-is-really-unpopular-in-hong-kong Jelly: Das fucked up. Vote Jelly!
obosh
am I missing something? Not fussed about JC either though given his statements on Hong Kong
obosh
Not to spoil anyone's fun but I don't get the Jelly bit. I fee l
Sunny Cheng
okay it was funny up until now
Matthew Farthing
If Police Story beats Jelly, the anger directed at Police Story will be so overwhelming, the Jelly-heads will give whoever goes up against Police Story the decisive victory. So if you want Police Story to have a chance, you have to vote for Jelly.
Rory Dunn
Say Hello to Jello(y)
Ben Bequette
As jelly says in analyze this: fuck da police
Luke West
Jelly Dies Tonight.
Rad Rodge
On this all depends
Seth B
Cmon guys! Vote jelly.
Mark Adkins
Jelly must be stopped
Cloud Prewett
Say it with me everyone; cops are not cool
Ben DeSart
I love my sweet boy. (Jelly)
Justice SZ
jelly says ACAB
Jack o Diamonds
The glory of the story cannot be understated
Douglas Wykstra
If there's one guy I'd be okay with beating Jelly, it's Jackie Chan. That being said, let's keep the Jelly train rolling!
Boogie
Jelly!
Joshua Ochoa
Jelly will honestly be disappointing post Analyse This…it’ll be a diminishing returns bit…nothing more
Luke Swisher
You guys already made the turtles go away. Can't you please at least leave us some jelly?
JB
Jackie, I love you, but ACAB. I’m sorry
Kawaiidebu
Hoping the Jelly train stops here, but I don’t really want either of these in the final.
David Rosenblatt
My man! Jackie Chan!
colin p clune
The criterion collection was created for Jelly
Louis Frey
Jelly can’t be stopped. Stare into his eyes, give in to Jelly.
Matthew Chmiel
No, it’s true. The original Police Story trilogy rips whereas Analyze This & That and Mickey Blue Eyes are unflushable pieces of shit. Voting for Jelly was funny the first round, but it should’ve lost against Hellraiser.
Will Redmond
Nobody escapes the jellyfish forest
Screen Drafts
True, there isn’t much Chan in Supercop 2, but the what Chan there is is potent enough to warrant inclusion imo.
Alice
How is Jelly not running away with this???
Andrew Jones
He wibbles, he wobbles but Jelly NEVER falls, he’s the anti-Jackie Chan and we must support him.
Jay Kay
JEL-LY! JEL-LY! JEL-LY!
Zach Stetson
We must vote jelly
Zach Stetson
The jelly hate needs to stop
Colin
Jelly needs to be stopped.
Eileen Tierney
GUYS JELLY
Zef Wagner
Okay, it's really time to end this Jelly madness and vote for the much more deserving Police Story.
Benjamin Russell
Unless we get confirmation that we will also watch The Firm as a prequel to the Jelly Trilogy, I'm afraid I have to support Police Story,
Matthew Farthing
Then they can do Jelly twice. The reality is, franchises are much shorter than filmographies so a huge chunk of these are going to be done anyway, including Police Story. Which means we can only vote morally. Jelly!
Jon Washington
We all know the Jelly bit is the height of comedy, hasn’t already overstayed it’s welcome, and could sustain three full episodes. What my vote presupposes is: maybe it isn’t?
Deren Ney
I’m going to look beyond the temporary joy of the jelly joke and vote as if I love da movish. Police Story all the way!
Amir Shani
Fantastic comment. Totally unhinged. 5 stars no notes.
Ray
Amab
Ray
They're definitely going to do jelly anyway though
Austin McDougle
vote Jelly acab
Austin McDougle
literally what is the point of Jelly getting this far if we’re not all gonna vote for it
adam
JELL-EE! JELL-EE! JELL-EE!
Matthew Farthing
I would LOVE a police story miniseries. Some other time. Tonight we feast on Jelly.
Brooks Hoehn
JELLY!!
Collin Odell
I’m going to keep beating this drum. Please include The Firm for a Jelly Quadrilogy. We need more Jelly!
Iguanahouse
So true!!!
Patrick Orlob
Police Story is in the lead. Das not fucked up.
Ml
acab includes inspector chan
Iguanahouse
POLICE STORY!!! JACKIE CHAN!!!! MICHELLE YEOH!!!!!
Zak Goldberger
Das (reasoning is) fucked up
Kyle Faber
I don't think that's true
T.J.
JELLY TRILOGY
Leroy Beckett
Wobble wobble
Chris Hubbard
Michelle Yeoh literally lands a dirt bike onto a moving train in one of these movies! Jackie fights 15 dudes with a ladder! People voting for the jelly bit are just as bad as the people who voted for trump cause they thought it would be funny
Bryce Hendrickson
JELLLLLLYYYYY
Mauricio Salas
Do people really have free will and still not vote for Jelly? That's fucked up.
Steve Nutt
Voting Police Story purely out of spite for the shafting of those decent, salt of the earth, Cenobites
Zak Goldberger
What bit? Vote Jelly
Jonathon Pernisek
The Jelly bit stiiiiiiiiiiiiinks
Gretchen Lindensmith
I have nothing agains Jelly *the man*, but those Analyze movies are what would spit out if an AI program came up with a film specifically designed to make me eat my own eyeballs.
Kevin Love Hewitt
Vote for the one with Michelle Yeoh
Begemott
Ooh, nice to get a preview of the cover art for the upcoming Jelly Collection box set from Criterion
Brady Larsen
Remember when Billy Crystal slaps Jelly in the face at the end of Analyze This? Not voting for Jelly today would be an even bigger slap in the face than that.
Eric Nagurney
Voting for the Story......the Jelly Story!!!!
James Young
Went to waffle house for breakfast, had a pack of jelly with my toast! It's a sign
john-kawika shelton
RESPECT FOR JELLY ❤️
Esteban Minero
COMMIT TO THE BIT
Michael Hashizume
As fans of this show, are we not obligated to commit to the bit?
Skimbleshanks The Railway Cat
Standing in a sea of peanut butter and crying out for some JELLY
Jack Barr
I like that patreon comments can get more ruthless but at the same time it's for a harmless meme lol. The stakes are lower so the fights can get nastier
Tyler McClellan
I didn't sacrifice hellraiser for this, VOTE JELLY
David McCallum
I’m voting police story just because im not ready for this jelly
Data Janitor
time for jelly to get smeared
tyler langlois
Jelly robbed Hellraiser last week. Get em out of here.
HappyCroc
They need to wait until they're all dads for the ultimate dad movie series.
Charlie
😔 tough choice
HappyCroc
Jelly got jinxed in yesterday's update, knew this was coming. Police Story would be a great winner and I'm getting behind it til the end now.
Austin Zook
It’s Jelly time.
Andrew Reck
JELLY JELLY JELLY!
slimesiren
the chaos of including a meme option is it only gets more popular as more franchises people wanted are eliminated. "my fav lost? well i got no horse in this race , all in on jelly baby"
Spam Boi
I will always vote against Jelly.
Nicholas Razzante
Jelly Gents rise up!
Ryan O'Reilly
ITS PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME
James Manning
Jelly was winning at first and after losing the turtles to oceans yesterday I didn’t know if could take another upset!
Eric Trapp
Follow your heart, not the bit. Vote for Police Story!
Rosemarie
J E L L Y
Brian Hines
Jelly!!!
Aidan
DAS FUCKED UP
Tobey
I can vote for the bit only so many times. Jelly must fall to the cop who can’t be stopped.
Adam Grzegorczyk
Police Story just goes much better with the World Cup theme of the mainfeed Also just got to season 9 of ER with my wife, and in Supercop Chan does a fight scene in front of a moving helicopter rotor
Brian Sweeney
I said this in the Reddit, but while a Jelly series would be funny, it would be way funnier for him to be the “Lindsey Buckingham in What’s Up With That” of Blank Check
Ditmarser
I’m still mourning the loss of Weir (even though they are definitely going to eventually do him, right? RIGHT??)
Matt Vaughan
death to jelly
Doc Brown
Jiggle jiggle
Trevor Pyle
folks we've enjoyed Jelly's Cinderella run, but it's time for his boat- sized 1987 Cadillac to turn into a pumpkin now that a Supercop episode is in reach
Ben Burbank
I'm sorry Jelly
Donald W Pratt
Jelly vs Leonard championship: let’s make it happen!
Filip Boratyn
ACAB vote Jelly
Philippe Gariépy
I can't believe it's this close.
Lawrence Guest
I have come to except that jelly might win but I’m still not voting for it :)
Philip M Bernstein
If anyone is at all conflicted I beg you watch the Police Story clip where Jackie's trying to answer all the phones at the station. Nothing better.
Bobby Mageau
Jelly all the way!!!
CT13
I can’t look at Billy Crystal without thinking about how much he loves to do blackface, sorry Jelly
Donald W Pratt
Luckily, that amount of time is 301 minutes.
PolterZeitgeist
JELLY FOREVER
Peter Angelinas
if jelly loses, that would be falkin’ weird
Sloane
Sorry Jackie, I'm going for jelly
Joel Orr
I have to vote my conscience: Jackie Chan.
Azar
This should be the final, i’m tempted to vote Police Story just because i don’t want Jelly to lose to something like Elmore Leonard or the Ocean’s movies. I think there’s been enough enthusiasm for Jelly that they’ll probably slot them in somewhere down the line, so Police Story might be the better choice
David freeman
call me peanut butter, cus i need me some jelly
Logghammer
The bit is good, but the first Police Story might be the best Jacki Chan movie ever.
Seymour Butz
Jelly
Étienne Fillion-Sauvé
Life's too short to not vote for Jelly.
Sean C.
Jelly you've had a good run but Police Story has to win this. Especially if you're taking my Turtles.
elkweed
Sitting here experiencing terror steadily replace my amusement as I watch Jelly continue to power through this competition like Trump in the 2016 Republican primaries
Teddy K
JELLY FOREVER
Lucas Nyhus
if jelly beats out police story im gonna go crazy
ChewyWalrus
Boy howdy!
ian
The Analyze movies are fun beyond Jelly. The fact Jelly is in them just puts them over the top
TV's Kevin Lanigan
All love to Jelly but I must vote for Kukui carnage.
bigcabba
Man, Police Story is so amazing! Jelly is only funny for so long.
Quinn
Must be jelly cuz jam don’t shake
Matthew Chmiel
If Jelly wins the tournament, this was a complete waste of everyone’s time.
Jim Finzel
Not jelly 🥺
Raphael Esguerra
The Bardi bump for Jelly due to the jingle in the last update must not be overstated
Chad Hotelling
Noooo! Police Story! What is wrong with you people!?
Baxter
I’m gonna be pissed if Jelly wins the whole bracket.
Christopher Grigg
Chewy can you handle it?
Justin Peterson
I'm ao conflicted!
Eric
here’s a police story: a guy didn’t vote for jelly so he went to jail because not voting for jelly is a crime
Jesse
How is Jelly winning and WHY IS IT EVEN CLOSE
Art Curtis
Guys...Jackie chan = fun. We'll all regret the jelly bit 30 seconds into Analyze That.
Jake
DAS FUCKIN WEIRD
corndair
JELL-Y JELL-Y JELL-Y JELL-Y
ChewyWalrus
I am ready for this Jelly.
Joel Cunningham
Y’all are too committed to this Jelly bit. This is a no bits podcast!
