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Naruto gets Assassinated
🕑 Added 2022-03-27 15:17:23 +0000 UTCThree days passed since Sasuke arrived at the different timeline, and Inoichi, Ino's father, was currently walking through the T&I building. Today he had very little work to do, which immediately caused him to be in a good mood as he leisurely walked towards his office.
However, his mood dimmed a little when he saw one of his subordinates frantically running towards him. People running around usually meant trouble.
"Inoichi-sama, there is something that I should probably report to you."
"Probably? Why would you say probably report?"
The person in front of him awkwardly started shuffling around as his eyes wandered here and there before refocusing on Inoichi.
"Well, it's just a rumor, but I think this might be something Inoichi-sama should know about."
Inoichi frowned a little when he heard the word "rumor". As someone whose job had a big deal of information gathering in its job description, he knew that most rumors contained at least some truths. His job was to always stay calm and rationally identify what is genuine and false.
"W-Well, this rumor is personally related to you, so I hope you can keep your calm when you hear what I'm about to say."
Inoichi scoffed in disdain when he heard his subordinate's worries. He has been in the business for a long time now, so how could he lose rationality over a mere rumor?
"Out with it!"
When the other person saw that Inoichi was getting annoyed by him, he couldn't help but lower his head as he started speaking.
"T-There is a rumor that a young boy with blonde hair and whisker-like birthmarks has been wandering around the Uzumaki compound. T-The boy apparently looks very similar to Naruto-sama."
"..."
Inoichi's subordinate sighed in relief when Inoichi didn't immediately go on a rampage and seemed to calmly assess the situation instead. He lifted his head up to meet Inoichi's eyes and...
"HIIIIIII!!!"
... immediately screamed in terror with a high-pitched voice.
Currently, Inoichi's face had minimal features that could be considered human, as everything was twisted in a demon-like appearance filled with nothing but wrath.
"I see. so that beast has not only defiled my daughter but has even cheated on her."
"I-Inoichi-sama, please calm down! These are just rumors!"
"Yes, I agree; the only viable solution is immediate execution."
"P-Please listen to me, Inoichi-sama!"
"Yes, you are right; I should definitely torture him before killing him."
"Inoichi-sama!"
"Yes, torture and then death!"
"INOICHI-SAMA!!!"
"DEATH!!!"
Before his subordinate could say anything else, a warcry left Inoichi's mouth as he jumped out of a nearby window to hunt down Naruto, leaving his sweating subordinate behind.
"I-I think I just messed up. I hope Naruto-sama won't bear a grudge against me."
A shiver went through his spine as his thoughts wandered to the various "prank" seals the T&I department was using as torture devices. Very effective torture devices.
Meanwhile, Naruto was strolling through Konoha with Ino and Haku by his side. All three were a little excited about the soon-to-appear enemy, as Hisoka had sold the Otsutsuki clan as something like the true big evil.
"I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE, YOU DAMN BEAST!!!"
While they were walking, the trio heard a somewhat familiar yell, causing Naruto and Haku to smile wryly while Ino blushed in shame.
"I wonder what it is this time. I bet nee-san egged him on again."
"YOU BASTARD DID NOT ONLY DEFILED MY ANGLE, YOU EVEN CHEATED ON HER!!!"
Question marks popped up above Naruto's head when he heard Inoichi's words, while Ino and Haku both glared at him, causing him to shrug his shoulders.
"You two should know that I wouldn't cheat on you. We all know how father-in-law can be, so I bet there is another misunderstanding."
The duo pondered for a moment before nodding their heads. Inoichi was one of the highest ranks in the T&I department, so he had significantly more information than an average shinobi, which gave his words quite a bit of weight. Nonetheless, Ino and Haku choose to trust Naruto's words as Inoichi was indeed somewhat irrational when it came to Ino.
Moments later, Inoichi reached the duo and glared at Naruto with crimson eyes. He would have already attacked if Naruto wasn't sandwiched between Ino and Haku. It was a familiar sight, but it still almost caused Inoichi to vomit out some blood.
"You bastard, you already have two women, and now you are even cheating on them! Today I will definitely kill you!"
"Father-in-law, I have no idea what you are talking about. Please explain what this is about. I definitely didn't cheat on Ino. Well, I cheated on her with Haku, but that's a different matter."
Inoichi's anger spiked even further, almost causing him to awaken the Rinnegan, when he heard Naruto call him father-in-law while off-handedly mentioning that he was sleeping with another woman.
"Don't play dumb! I'm fully aware that the child you had with another woman has been seen running around the Uzumaki compound!"
At first, the trio was confused, but moments later, realization kicked in, causing Naruto to facepalm, while Ino and Haku chuckled in amusement.
Strictly speaking, Inoichi's words were 100% true. Naruto's child with someone who wasn't Ino nor Haku was indeed occasionally walking around the Uzumaki compound, but the situation was slightly different from what Inoichi assumed it to be.
"Please calm down, father-in-law. This is a misunderstanding. Look, Ino and Haku are even laughing about the situation."
Some rationality returned to Inoichi when he saw his daughter laughing.
'Okay, maybe this really isn't as it seems. In fact, why wouldn't Ino be angry if a child Naruto had with someone else suddenly popped up? Additionally, I didn't hear how old the child is supposed to be. I might have reacted a little to impulsive *cough*. Well, it's my subordinate's fault for telling me to go and kill Naruto immediately.'
When Naruto saw that Inoichi was slowly calming down, he sighed in relief and walked towards Inoichi. He put his hand on his shoulder with a broad smile on his face.
"Come, father-in-law, let's find a restaurant and eat something. My treat. The truth is actually quite an exciting story, so allow me to tell it to you over a meal."
A deep sigh escaped Inoichi's mouth as he nodded his head. Obviously, he still didn't like Naruto. He never would. But he at least acknowledged that Naruto made Ino happy and that he was a good influence on her. He would even say something along the lines of Naruto being able to protect Ino, but he felt like that would be an insult to all the effort Ino but into getting stronger.
Naruto inwardly sighed in relief when the situation was defused without bloodshed, but unfortunately, someone had other plans, as Yuna suddenly appeared, determined to assassinate her little brother.
"Yo, Naruto, have you seen your son Boruto?"
The rationality Inoichi managed to rebuild was annihilated instantly.
A crimson glow returned to his eyes as he slashed at Naruto with a kunai.
"DIE, SCUM!!!"
"F-Father-in-law, calm down! I swear this is a misunderstanding! N-Nee-san is just messing around.
"DIE!!! DIE!!! DIE!!!"
Despite Naruto's attempts to calm him down, Inoichi ignored him entirely and continued the attack, forcing Naruto to run away.
"YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS, NEE-SAN!!!"
"Have fun~"
While Naruto was yelling at her in anger, Yuna happily waved her hand at him, while Ino and Haku could only helplessly stare at Naruto.
"Oh, Ino and Haku, sorry for ruining your date. I'll compensate you at a later time."
As she said that, she teleported away, leaving a wryly smiling Ino and Haku behind. They glanced at each other before shrugging their shoulders as they continued their shopping trip.
Meanwhile, Sasuke felt like he had become someone else due to all the absurdities he had experienced.
For example, there were two instances of him rounding a corner and suddenly getting a cake smacked into his face. What was even more surprising was that no one who witnessed that scene seemed to react to it, seemingly finding the situation normal.
He witnessed his younger self walking up to the Uzumaki compound with the desire for revenge burning in his eyes before turning around and walking away, with his tail between his legs. As far as Sasuke remembered, young him never backed down when it came to his revenge, so he was really wondering what Yuna did to him to act like that.
Sasuke also had a brief encounter with Nagato of all people, almost causing him to have a stroke. After all, Nagato was the leader of Akatsuki and the one responsible for destroying significant parts of Konoha at one point. Although Sasuke had never met him in his timeline, he had at least seen a picture of him.
Sasuke got curious why he was here, and after asking around a bit, most people either didn't know about him or were confident that Yuna bullied him into switching sides.
If it were three days ago, Sasuke would have scoffed at such a ridiculous idea, but after three days of absurdity, he believed it without a second of hesitation.
'It's Yuna, after all.'
He received another rather heavy hit to his psyche when a young brown-skinned woman and a weird-looking turtle approached him. Considering how innocent she looked, Sasuke falsely assumed that she would say anything ridiculous before she straight up asked him what double penetration meant, her eyes still gleaming with innocence and curiosity.
At first, Sasuke wanted to just run away, but he felt somewhat bad about that, so he decided to simply explain it. Frankly, that might have been the most shameful minute of his life.
Obviously, Sasuke wasn't the only one to receive some mental damage as he and Boruto once walked in on Yuna pressing Hinata against a wall and "forcing" herself on her. Sasuke was pretty sure that Boruto's future interactions with his mother would be rather awkward.
Moments later, a hand landed on Sasuke's shoulder, almost causing his soul to leave his body.
"Yo, Sasuke. Urshi has arrived."
"His name is Urashiki."
"That's exactly what I said; let's go already."
Before Sasuke could argue further, Yuna teleported both of them away, leaving a dumbfounded Boruto behind.
"Hey! What about me!?"
*SPLAT*
Comments
Denis-dono
Nah, the first thing he'll do is hug Naruto while thanking him for being an only son, then he will ask him this promise.
UncrownedKing
I can imagine once Sasuke gets back to the future the first thing he'll ask Naruto is to promise to never have a sister.
