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Seireitei Close to Collapsing
🕑 Added 2023-01-01 15:54:59 +0000 UTCA few more days passed, and deep in the headquarter of Seireitei's Eight Division, a middle-aged man wearing a woman's kimono was sitting on the ground in front of a small table and leisurely sipping from a sake cup.
"Haa~ This is how life should be."
As those words left his mouth, he looked skyward at the snow that was gently falling all around him, causing him to smile leisurely.
Coincidently, part of the Eight Division's buildings was close enough to be hit by Yuna's snowstorm. Although things got rather nasty while the blizzard rampaged, the middle-aged man enjoyed the gentle snowfall.
However, the quiet atmosphere vanished rather quickly as a stern-looking woman with glasses approached him with a serious expression.
"Oh~ Nono-chan, come over here and give me a kiss~"
Instead of a kiss, the woman smacked a block of paper in his face, which he quickly grabbed before it could fall to the ground.
"Captain Kyoraku, here are more reports about people getting hit by cakes."
Ignoring the screech of terror in the background, Shunsui chuckled in amusement as he took another sip of sake.
"Oh well, it is how it is, Nanao."
However, Nanao ignored her Captain's disinterested words as she adjusted her glasses and continued speaking.
"These ones are within Seireitei, not in the world of the living."
"*PFFF* WAHT!?"
Shunsui performed a splendid spit-take, forcing Nanao to dodge to the side while glaring at her Captain.
"A-Are you certain!? The culprit is here, in Seireitei!?"
Nanao simply nodded her head as she resumed her explanation.
"Yes. It appears that the different Division initially kept the incidents to themself, probably for the same reason we didn't report anything about it, but since things kept escalating more and more, the lower-ranked Shinigami started talking with other Divisions and it became very clear that the scale of incidents is far beyond what we had expected."
Naturally, Shunsui was dumbfounded by what he had just heard. What he found especially weird was that he had not gotten any reports about this earlier.
As if she could read his mind, a scowl appeared on Nanao's face as she continued her report.
"So far, none of our Division's Shinigami have been hit within Seireitei; I assume the culprit did that, so we only find out about this later on."
Hearing Nanao's assumption, Shunsui gritted his teeth in anger while nodding his head.
"Damnit, because every Division is prideful, none admitted to being pranked. I bet quite a few of the individual Shinigami didn't report that they were hit either, which would mean things are actually worse than we expected. However, with so many incidents, we surely have their face now, right?"
Hearing Shunsui's question, Nanao sadly lowered her head and answered him.
"Unfortunately, we don't."
Shunsui sighed deeply when Nanao denied his question as he raised his cup, taking another sip.
"*Sigh* We might actually have the same problem we have with the number of incidents: Someone might have seen the culprit's face, but they were pranked as well, resulting in their pride stopping them from reporting the incident."
Nanao's eyes widened as she frantically started shaking her head, not believing that someone would not report the intruder's appearance just for the sake of their pride. That was completely different from reporting that you were pranked.
"Would someone really do that? Isn't that almost treason?"
"Well, lower-ranked Shinigami probably would report the incident, but what if a Captain got pranked? For example, do you think that Captain Kurotsuchi would be willing to report that he got humiliated?"
Nanao gritted her teeth after hearing Shunsui's question, and after only a few seconds of thinking about it, she shook her head. She didn't believe he would make a report like that.
Seeing Nanao shake her head, Shunsui sighed deeply as he leisurely leaned back, allowing his back to touch the snow-filled ground.
"*Sigh* This is such a hassle. Worst of all, Captains are the most likely to see the intruder but are also the ones least likely to report what had happened in case the intruder got away. Especially if the intruder had managed to prank them."
"D-Do you really think the intruder could trick a Captain? Wouldn't that mean they are at least as strong as one?"
"Nanao, they have been rampaging through Seireitei for around a week now, and we still don't even know how they look. It would be more surprising if they didn't have Captain-level strength, and I'm talking about one of the stronger ones."
Nanao couldn't help but grit her teeth as soon as Shunsui stopped talking. Indeed, she didn't want it to be true, but no matter how she looked at it, the intruder was at Captain-level. And, worse of all, if they were truly the ones responsible for Captain Unohana's disappearance, then Seireitei was in deep shit.
Nanao might not know about who Captain Unohana really is, but she at least knew that she was one of the older Shinigami in the city.
"*Sigh* can't things just return to being peaceful?"
Nanao was just about to leave Shunsui alone when another Shinigami hastily ran towards them, causing the duo to glance at each other briefly.
' 'More trouble.' '
"C-C-Captain Kyoraku! S-S-Something outragous happened!"
Hearing the Shinigami's words, Shunsui could only sigh deeply while holding his head. He could already feel a headache coming.
"Out with it already."
"That... errr... well... *cough*... hehe."
Seeing the Shinigami fumbling around, Shunsui's eyebrows twitched in irritation.
"Stop stalling! Out with it."
"Err... well... A-A giant... p-penis made out of ice appeared inside the Kuchiki clan compound."
The atmosphere stiffened while the man who had just made that report awkwardly looked away from Shunsui and Nanao. He really didn't want to be the one ta make that kind of report, but unfortunately, his rank was pretty low, so his superiors one-sidedly made him do that report.
As the Shinigami was sweating a little, Shunsui and Nanao mechanically turned their head toward where the Kuchiki clan compound was, and indeed, there it was: A massive dick growing out of the middle of Seireitei.
Seeing that, Shunsui sighed deeply as he raised his cup to take another sip, but before he could do so, Nanao snatched it away.
Shunsui was about to complain to her that right now wasn't the right moment to stop him from drinking during work hours when his chin hit the ground due to Nanao taking a deep gulp herself. He had never seen her drink any alcohol.
'Times sure are chaotic, aren't they?
Meanwhile, in another part of the city, a young woman with long black hair was going on a rampage as she hacked away at an ice statue like it had killed her parents.
"WHY DID THIS THING APPEAR IN MY HOME!?"
Obviously, that young woman was Soi Fon, while the statue depicted Yuna. Frankly, Soi Fon went from being pissed off due to it to being somewhat terrified. Its absurd durability aside, it had actually changed poses a few times while Soi Fon wasn't looking, dumbfounding her greatly.
She cursed the statue some more while hacking away at it before leaving the room to get herself something to drink. However, as soon as she returned to the room, she paused while the water glass she was holding fell to the ground.
Soi Fon didn't even notice her feet getting wet due to the spilled water while her eyes were transfixed on the ice statue, which had changed poses yet again.
However, this time the change was quite dramatic, as it usually only slightly changed its pose. Now, it was sprawled on the ground, its head and breasts pressed onto the ground, while its butt was high in the air. Additionally, the Shinigami garb it was initially wearing had vanished and was instead replaced with a snug-fitting bikini, revealing all the curves that could be revealed, briefly causing Soi Fon to lick her lips before managing to get out of her stupor.
'F*CK!!! I briefly thought that this shitty statue looked beautiful. I have had enough of this!'
As she finished her thoughts, a glint of insanity passed through her eyes as she drew her sword.
"Bankai!"
A few seconds later, a colossal explosion occurred within Seireitei, while the small figure of Soi Fon could be seen getting flung away from it due to the recoil and the power of the explosion.
Luckily, Soi Fon lived in a huge mansion with no other residences close by, resulting in no human casualties. However, due to the explosion, the only thing that remained intact from Soi Fon's mansion was a fully clothed ice statue that had its left hand resting on her hip while the other one was making a thumbs-up pose while squinting its left eye close.
Meanwhile, a few minutes earlier, outside of Seireitei, a decently sized group of people was looking at the new attractions in bewilderment. They were just about to look for a good way to infiltrate the city when a massive explosion occurred within the city.
"Well, seems like we need to hurry. If we don't get nee-san out of that city, nothing will be left of it."
"Wasn't the mission rescuing Rukia?"
Hearing Tatsuki's question, Naruto simply shrugged his shoulders as he leisurely answered her.
"Yes, that was initially the goal, but now that the city had to endure a full week of unsupervised nee-san, it should be pretty close to collapsing."
While everyone was looking at Naruto with a mixture of doubt, disbelief, and bewilderment, Hinata gritted her teeth as she angrily stared at Seireitei.
Naruto saw that and could only smile wryly as he started speaking to her.
"How many, Hinata?"
Hearing Naruto's question, Hinata stopped glaring at Seireitei and looked at Naruto instead.
"Two."
"What!? Nee-san picked up two additional women for her harem in seven days!?!!!"
Hearing Naruto's outburst, everyone looked at him and Hinata in shock, wondering how that kind of information was acquired while wondering if it actually was true. However, Naruto's following worlds almost caused everyone else to trip and face-plant to the ground.
"ONLY TWO!? Is nee-san getting rusty, or does Seireitei have no good women?"
Hinata glared at Naruto, causing him to awkwardly scratch his head, but she didn't comment or deny his words. Frankly, she was a little surprised that it turned out to be only two in the end. It could have gotten much worse.
"*Tsk* Whatever, I'm going in; see you later. Who knows what will happen if Yuna continues acting unsupervised?"
Obviously, Yoruichi wanted to stop her from acting recklessly, but before she could even get a word out, Hinata's presence had vanished, leaving everyone else dumbfounded, while Naruto chuckled in amusement.
"Well, just let her be. If it is stealth, then only very, very few could hope to match her. Frankly, as long as she doesn't actively try to attack me, I can't find her either."
Yoruichi wanted to claim that Naruto was talking nonsense and that Hinata was acting recklessly, but considering she couldn't notice her move either, there was no basis for doing so.
While everyone was dumbfounded, Tatsuki asked a question that was actually on everyone's minds.
"How did Hinata find out about Yuna increasing her harem size?"
Hearing his girlfriend's question, Naruto awkwardly scratched his head while a mild chuckle escaped his lips.
"Honestly? I'm not entirely sure. Anko always called it Hinata's first wife sense, but I have no idea how that actually works. The only thing I know is that it's pretty accurate."
"Anko? Who is that?"
"Oh? That's just one of nee-san's women."
"Huh? Seriously? Why have I never seen her before?"
"Well, that's a little complicated. How about I tell you about it when this mess is over?"
A frown appeared on Tatsuki's face when she noticed Naruto didn't want to talk about it, but she still nodded in satisfaction when he offered to tell her later. Considering there were currently quite a few people around them, she simply assumed that Naruto didn't want other people to hear the story.
"Anyway, Yuna and Hinata's weirdness aside, we should get moving. That explosion is a nice distraction for us to get into the city."
Hearing Yoruichi's words, everyone simply nodded their head as they prepared themselves to enter the city through the massive hole Yuna had left in the wall previously. Usually, a lot of Shinigami would mingle around it, preventing outsiders from entering while doing repair work, but now, all of them were going towards the previous explosion with their curiosity overpowering their sense of duty.
While Naruto's group was walking towards the damaged wall, Hinata was rushing through the city at high speed. She had long passed the wall and was currently using [Flash Step] to travel through Seireitei at maximum speed toward the place she assumed Yuna to be at: In the middle of the snowstorm. Usually, that was a pretty good first step when trying to find Yuna.
So, she quickly arrived at the relevant location but couldn't help but frown when she ended up at a dead end. She meticulously scanned the wall, and after doing so for a few minutes, her eyes shone in understanding. She might not be as good with Kido as Yuna, but that didn't mean she could find a hidden door as long as she knew where she was supposed to look for it.
So, a few minutes later, the entrance to the hidden cave opened yet again, allowing Hinata to pass through it. After walking down a set of stairs for a few minutes, she arrived at a vast underground space that had snow gently falling from the ceiling, resulting in her head nodding in acknowledgment.
"Well, I don't know if Yuna is here, but it is rather certain that she at least had been here before."
Realizing that, she was eagerly walking toward the middle of the cave, but before she could reach it, someone appeared behind her, pressing a blade to her neck.
"Who are you?"
However, to the surprise of the attacker, Hinata melted away, only leaving a puddle of water behind.
"What the h..."
Before the attacker could figure out what just happened, their instinct flared as they dodged to the side, resulting in a thin blade leaving a gash on her hip, which they healed by simply swiping their finger over it.
The attacker looked around, but to their surprise, they couldn't see Hinata nor detect her presence. Instead of being afraid of the unknown enemy that, without a doubt, was hiding her presence, an insanity-ridden small smile appeared on the attacker's face.
"Hoo? To think someone could reach such a high level of stealth. I'm impressed."
No sound could be heard in the underground cave as the attacker was slowly looking around, sword in hand and ready to strike, when a deep sigh echoed through the cave, causing the attacker to frown as Hinata appeared a few meters away from her.
"You are one of Yuna's women, aren't you? The name's Hinata; I'm one of Yuna's wives."
Hearing Hinata's words, her attacker briefly paused, thinking whether they should continue attacking anyway or not, before smiling and sheathing their blade. There was no need to be hasty; they could fight any time they wished, but now it was time for introductions.
"Retsu Unohana, Captain of the 4th Division and, as you have mentioned, one of Yuna's women."
Hearing Unohana's name, Hinata could only smile wryly. Although she had already suspected her identity, considering Retsu was supposed to be a healer, Hinata had some doubts about her identity. Meanwhile, Retsu couldn't help but smile happily while thinking about her small exchange with Hinata.
"Yuna told me that there are more people that could match me by her side. Honestly, I didn't fully believe her for quite a while, but now, briefly fighting you, I know her words were true."
Hinata simply shrugged her shoulders as she walked toward Retsu at a leisurely pace.
"So you are one of those that love battle, huh? No wonder Yuna got interested in you. Personally, I don't mind fighting you a few rounds, but as you have undoubtedly noticed, I'm more of an assassin type, so fighting me might not fight your taste. Well, I can fight head-on as well, but it's not my specialty."
Retsu couldn't help but smile as Hinata claimed she wouldn't mind fighting her. Obviously, she noticed Hinata's preferred combat style being stealth-based and didn't mind in the slightest. She loved fighting, no matter in what form. As for more or less forcing Hinata into a fighting style, she didn't prefer to make fighting more fun; Retsu was a little conflicted.
"That's fine; I love fighting. No need to fight in a way you are not comfortable with."
Hinata smiled lightly as she passed Retsu, resulting in her turning around as well as the duo moving side by side towards the middle of the room, where Hinata could already feel more presences.
"I wouldn't say that I'm not comfortable with it, as I frequently have sparring matches with Yuna using the head-on approach; I'll just be a little weaker than I should be."
Retsu's steps briefly faltered after hearing that Hinata apparently fought Yuna frequently. Frankly, she was a little jealous as she perceived the fight she had with Yuna as the most fun she had ever had. Someone else having that kind of experience frequently naturally didn't make her happy.
Obviously, Hinata noticed Retsu's mood change and chuckled in amusement.
"Well, what are you getting all gloomy for? I bet you already planned when you would challenge Yuna again, right? How about we fight her together the next time?"
Hearing Hinata's words, a glint passed through Retsu's eyes as the brief hope of actually defeating Yuna appeared in her mind. Frankly, she wasn't a fan of defeating someone in a two-against-one battle, but she also realized that Yuna was simply too strong for her to defeat by herself. Despite that, Retsu shook her head at Hinata's offer as the duo's eyes met.
"Although I admit that a two-against-one would be fun, but I think I would like to fight you first. I want to see the strength of those that stand by Yuna's side."
Although Hinata was slightly surprised by Retsu's words, in the end, she could only smile.
"I see; in that case, you better be ready."
As she finished speaking, Hinata's Spiritual Pressure erupted out of her and covered the whole cave, causing Retsu to smile, battle hunger clearly visible on her face.
'Oh yes, I think I'll enjoy staying with Yuna's group.'
Comments
Christian Jeffress
Thanks for another fantastic and hilarious chapter!
Bill
I'm keen for the fight, Your fights are always so awesome
