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Yoruichi's Demise
🕑 Added 2023-01-15 15:57:16 +0000 UTCIkkaku couldn't believe how lucky he was. The intruders had been rampaging all over the city for over a week, and no one saw even a glimpse of them. However, while randomly walking through Seireitei with his friend Yumichika Ayasegawa, two intruders actually fell from the sky right in front of him.
The two intruders, Ichigo and Ganju, currently tried to dig themselves out of a sand pit that Ganju had created to help the duo with their landing using strange magic.
As soon as the duo noticed Ikkaku, they started whispering to each other. While Ganju wanted to run away, Ichigo wanted to fight, and moments later, Ganju ran away, leaving Ichigo behind.
Seeing that one of the opponents was running away, Yumichika clicked his tongue and quickly ran after him, leaving Ichigo and Ikkaku behind to have a one-on-one fight.
The fight started out rather equal, but after Ikkaku used his Shigai to turn his Zanpakuto into a three-section spear, resulting in Ichigo having trouble reading its trajectory.
Unfortunately for Ikkaku, Ichigo had much more raw power than him, and after a short while of back and forth, Ichigo simply sliced through Ikkaku's weapon while leaving a huge gash on his torso, consequently knocking him out.
Ichigo briefly pondered his next step, and after realizing that he pretty much had no idea about Seireitei, he decided to wait for Ikkaku to regain consciousness, so he got ask him a few questions.
Meanwhile, Ishida and Orihime landed safely due to Orihime's shield and took a somewhat different approach to gathering information, as they simply knocked out two Shinigami and put on their clothes, making it easier to navigate the city.
Sado, on the other hand, blasted the ground he was about to land on with one of his energy attacks, resulting in the knock-back reducing his fall speed, while the softened ground made the landing less hard. He took a rather interesting approach to, moving around the city as well: He was simply knocking everyone out that spotted him.
Naruto and Tatsuki had an easy landing as well since Naruto could simply use his wind to slow down their fall, resulting in them lightly floating to the ground. Just like Sado, the duo took the approach of defeating everyone they met; however, the only one who was fighting was Tatsuki, as Naruto was leisurely strolling behind her with his hands in his pockets while whistling a little tune.
'Well, not exactly the date I was looking for, but this is fine as well~'
Initially, he wanted to sneak around the city with Tatsuki and see if he could find any cool places, but Tatsuki insisted that she wanted to fight, so he just let her do what she wanted. Worst case scenario, he would just grab her and disappear as fast as the wind.
And finally, there was Yoruichi. As a skilled Shinigami, she could easily fly, so she didn't even bother waiting to land and immediately disappeared, making her way over Seireitei's rooftops.
First, she decided to scout the city to gather some information; after all, she hadn't been here for a long time. Then, she would go to the center of the snow-covered area.
'I wonder if our secret training facility is still there? That place would be a good place to use as our headquarters. Now that I take a closer look at it, isn't that snowing area pretty much perfectly arranged around the secret entrance? Why would that be the center of it?'
She scouted the city for a few hours, gathering rumors about what was currently going on, causing her to sigh deeply.
'Seriously, a Captain and a Lieutenant are missing. What the hell is Yuna doing? Has she forgotten why we came here?'
A while later, Yoruichi sighed in relief as she spotted the hidden runes that were used to open the entrance to the secret training facility, and after putting a bit of Spiritual Pressure inside, the door opened, causing her to smile lightly.
She quickly made her way down the stairs, and after walking for a short moment, she reached the hidden cave, utterly dumbfounding her.
'What the hell happened here?'
Unlike how it previously looked, she was welcomed by a winter wonderland as everything was covered in snow while snow continued to fall gently from the sky. One part of the cave seemed to have been utterly obliterated as debris littered the ground, while there was even a small house that looked like it was made out of ice in the distance.
'No, seriously, what happened here!?'
"Ara? What do we have here?"
Suddenly, Yoruichi's body froze as incredibly dense Spiritual Pressure crashed into her body, almost making her feel like someone was pressing a blade to her throat.
"I somewhat doubt a regular cat could open the secret door, so who are you?"
Yoruichi stiffly moved her head to see who had suddenly appeared directly behind her, and as soon as she saw who it was, she almost fainted.
'I'm so f*cked.'
Behind her stood Retsu Unohana, wearing a calm disarming smile that seemed almost motherly, but despite that, Yoruichi was terrified out of her mind. That kind smile of hers contained nothing but concentrated death.
Although Yoruichi didn't belong to the oldest generation of Shinigami in Seireitei, she wasn't a youngster either, so she had at least heard about Unohana's true self, so she would rather not mess with her.
'If it's pure speed, I might have a chance, but I don't think I can beat her in anything else. The moment I make a wrong move, she'll attack, and I'm not even in my human form. Transforming back takes about two seconds, which is more than enough for her to cut me down multiple times. Shit, I really messed up. Why is she here? Wasn't she supposed to be missing?'
"I still haven't heard an answer yet. Or maybe, you can't talk?"
Hearing Unohana's words, Yoruichi briefly pondered whether she should simply pretend to be a normal cat before immediately dismissing the idea and slumping down.
"Ahh~ I'm Yoruichi Shihoin. I was part of the people who built this underground hideout and wanted to check if it was still here."
"Oh? Shihoin? As in the Captain Chihoin that fled Seireitei a long time ago?"
Yoruichi simply nodded her head as a deep sigh escaped her mouth before Unohana continued talking.
"Since when have you been back in Seireitei?"
"Haa~ For about five minutes."
As soon as Yoruichi answered, a small smile appeared on Unohana's face as she chuckled in amusement.
"Oh my, I thought black cats are supposed to bring others bad luck and not have bad luck themselves."
Yoruichi's chin hit the ground the moment Unohana stopped talking. She had never heard her make a joke.
'Seriously? Since when does she joke around? Isn't she supposed to be a no-nonsense person? W-Well, it's been a long time since I've met her, so maybe she changed a little over the course of the last few hundred years.'
"Please don't mention that to anyone. I might not be part of Seireitei anymore, but I'm at least still known as Flash-Step-Yoruichi. That nickname will be laughed at if someone finds out I was caught five minutes after infiltrating the city."
Although Unohana couldn't help but chuckle a little due to Yoruichi's words, she still didn't let her guard down, and Yoruichi was fully aware of that. Both of them knew that as soon as Unohana showed an opening, Yoruichi would be gone.
"Anyway, your ruined name aside, why are you here? What do you plan to do?"
"Urgh, could you reign that Spiritual Pressure in? I'm having trouble breathing. Anyway, I don't plan to do anything to the people of Seireitei; I'm only here to rescue Rukia."
As soon as Yoruichi mentioned saving Rukia, the Spiritual Pressure Unohana was radiating vanished instantly. It was so abruptly that Yoruichi didn't even react to Unohana sheathing her sword and walking past her.
Just when Yoruichi regained her senses and realized that this would be the perfect opportunity to flee, Unohana continued talking, making her stop in her tracks.
"Oh? So you are with Yuna? You should have said that earlier so we could have saved ourselves from this back and forth. Come, follow me."
"Eh? Huh? W-What's going on?"
However, Unohana didn't react at all and simply walked away, leaving Yoruichi behind.
'I-Is this a trap? No, if she wanted to get rid of me, she would have just attacked me earlier. Now is the perfect opportunity to run away. However, I can't help but be a little worried as well. How does she know about Yuna? Did she capture her? But why would she hang out in here and not at her Division? What is going on?'
As Yoruichi's thoughts were going haywire, Unohana turned around and tilted her head in confusion.
"What's wrong? Aren't you coming? Although Yuna is currently not here, Hinata is. Since she is part of your group, you should know her, right?"
"Huh? Hinata is here as well?"
'She knows the names of Yuna and Hinata, and it doesn't feel like she is hostile to these two. S-Should I just... follow her?'
She mulled over what to do a few seconds longer before she sighed deeply while shrugging her shoulders.
'That damn Yuna, can't she do anything normally? Why does it always have to be chaotic as soon as she gets involved? How the hell did she manage to get on friendly terms with one of Seireitei's Captains?'
Moments later, Yoruichi had caught up with Unohana and couldn't help but look at her with curiosity.
"Is there something you would like to ask?"
Yoruichi nodded her head, not expecting Unohana to be open to answering questions, but since she seemed to be willing, Yoruichi naturally would take the opportunity.
"What exactly is your relationship with Yuna and Hinata?"
"Mhh? Well, I joined Yuna's harem."
The moment those words left Unohana's mouth, Yoruichi tripped, resulting in her head getting burrowed in the snow. She stayed like that for a few seconds before abruptly raising her head and staring at Unohana with high intensity.
"C-Could you please repeat that?"
"I joined Yuna's harem."
"Ah, I see..."
Yoruichi got quiet as thousands of thoughts swirled through her head, coming with all kinds of scenarios, not only about how Unohana had suddenly joined Yuna's harem but about possible misunderstanding or even that Unohana was trying to prank her.
Finally, as these thousand thoughts converged into a single point, resulting in Yoruichi opened her mouth and resumed speaking.
"What... the... F*CK!?"
Seeing the utter bewilderment and confusion on Yoruichi's face, Unohana couldn't help but chuckle in amusement as she continued walking toward the ice house Yuna had made.
"Yeah, I heard that's more or less a standard reaction."
While Yoruichi was still in a daze, Unohana reached the house and opened the door, closely followed by Yoruichi, who looked a little like her soul had left her body.
After removing her boots, Unohana continued walking and opened the door to the living room, revealing Hinata and Rangiku playing cards. However, while Hinata was fully closed, Rangiku only wore her bra and panties and was otherwise completely naked. Currently, she was glaring harshly at Hinata.
"This time, I got you, Hinata. Four of a kind! There is no way you can top that!"
However, hearing Rangiku's words as she revealed her hand, showing off four kings and a random ace of spades, a smirk appeared on Hinata's face, revealing her own hand, causing Rangiku's eyes to pop.
"STRAIGHT ROYAL FLUSH!? AGAIN!? YOU ARE CHEATING!!! YOU ARE DEFINITELY CHEATING!!!"
While Rangiku was angrily pointing her finger at Hinata, Hinata only chuckled in amusement while shrugging her shoulders.
"Mah, you say that, but where is your proof? Do you want to do another body search? Anyway, as long as you can't back up your empty claim, give me that bra~"
Rangiku gave her a seething glare, but she nevertheless removed her bra and handed it over to Hinata, making her smirk.
"I hope you remember that the first to get naked will get a spanking from the winner~ Don't worry; I won't bully you too much~"
"Aren't you the one who likes getting bullied!?"
"Well, I occasionally enjoy doing the bullying as well~"
Yet again, Yoruichi's chin hit the ground as she realized that Hinata was currently playing strip poker with the supposedly missing Lieutenant, almost causing her to cry in frustration.
'What the hell is going on!? Why is this situation so messy!? Why are the missing Captain and Lieutenant lazing around in Kisuke and my secret training ground? Why are Yuna and Hinata here with them? Why the f*ck is Hinata playing strip poker with a supposed enemy, while another enemy only smiled wryly seeing that scene. Again: WHAT THE F*CK!?'
Rangiku was just about to shuffle the cards for the fifth time in an attempt to stop Hinata from cheating when she and Hinata realized that someone had entered the room. As soon as Hinata saw Yoruichi, she frowned deeply.
"So it's you, huh? Since you are here, I guess you have decided to join Yuna's harem. Although I'm not happy, welcome anyway."
While Yoruichi was bewildered by that weird leap of logic, Rangiku couldn't help but glare at Yoruichi, and after pondering her words for a moment, she started speaking as well.
"Don't get me wrong, I don't mind trying out weird stuff, but involving a cat in our nightlife is a little too much for me."
Hinata couldn't help but chuckle in amusement when she saw Rangiku's somewhat disgusted look before pointing at Yoruichi.
"No need to worry, that's some really nice pussy."
Hearing Hinata's words, Rangiku's frown deepened even further as she continued glaring at Yoruichi.
'No matter how I look at it, that's too much. I will not involve a cat in sexual activities. That's just too weird.'
However, before Rangiku could say anything else, Yoruichi rolled her eyes as her body started glowing wide.
"Could we stop bothering with this misunderstanding in favor of someone telling me what is going on?"
As soon as she finished speaking, the cat was gone and was instead replaced with a brown-skinned naked beauty, making Rangiku gape.
"That IS a very nice pussy!"
"Told ya."
Yoruichi rolled her eyes yet again at the duo's short interaction as her gaze fell on Hinata.
"What is going on here? Why is Lieutenant Matsumoto here? Why is Captain Unohana here? Why are you here? How did Yuna even find this place? Why is it snowing? What's with this house? Why aren't you enemies? Why the HELL are you playing strip poker!?"
Hearing that barrage of questions, Hinata lightly raised her hands, motioning Yoruichi to stop speaking for a moment, which she complied with, allowing Hinata to answer her.
"Because Yuna. Joined the harem. Joined the harem. I'm part of the harem. Because Yuna. Because Yuna. Yuna is. Harem. Why not?"
Hearing Hinata answer pretty much all her questions with "It's because of Yuna", Yoruichi's eyebrows twitched in irritation. However, a weird sense of understanding washed over her making her relax.
'I see, so it's because of Yuna. That doesn't make any sense, but it makes sense.'
Realizing that the whole situation was a little too absurd to be explained away with proper logic, Yoruichi decided to just let it go. She had decided that there was no need to fuss over stuff this ridiculous. That would only make her go crazy.
"*Sigh* Fine, whatever. However, what about rescuing Rukia?"
Hinata couldn't help but raise her eyebrows when she heard Yoruichi asking about Rukia.
"Well, tell me about it. I'm not really sure about the details, but doesn't Kisuke want her to get rescued by Ichigo? I'm not really sure what kind of plans you two are cooking up, and I don't care too much, either. However, if you want to rescue Rukia, I don't mind going over there and getting her out. I'll be back before dinner."
Yoruichi couldn't help but stiffen a little as Hinata's deep blue eyes seemed to pierce into her soul. Frankly, the only reason she asked about Rukia was to make sure that she wasn't safe yet before Ichigo had a single proper fight. He needed to grow stronger. Much stronger. And the best way for him to do so was to dangle bait in front of him and allow him to fight powerful opponents while under constant pressure.
However, Yoruichi really wondered how Hinata knew about their plan. She knew that Kisuke had told them a little, but how the hell did Hinata know about pretty much everything? Where did that information come from?
'It's Yuna again, isn't it? Where in the world did she conjure so much information from? This is just ridiculous.'
Seeing Yoruichi deep in thought as Unohana brought some freshly made tea into the room, Hinata filled up her cup while chuckling in amusement.
"Well, how about getting some clothes before joining us for a few rounds of strip poker, so I can remove the clothes you had just put on?"
As soon as Hinata finished speaking, Yoruichi's face deadpanned at her. She couldn't believe that Hinata was seriously inviting her to play games while this whole invasion business was going on.
"By the way, where is Yuna?"
"No clue, probably somewhere in Seireitei, causing trouble, breaking minds. You know, the usual."
"B-Breaking minds!?"
"Mah, don't worry about it~"
Yoruichi WAS worrying about that. However, seeing that she was the only one in the room who seemed to be concerned about what Hinata had just said, the last straw finally broke. She gave up.
"You know what? Deal the cards; I'm in."
Seeing a naked Yoruichi sitting down on the table, Hinata rolled her eyes at her.
"Oi, get clothed first! What are you going to bet if you have no clothes on you?"
"Sexual favors?"
"Pah, sell those to Yuna, not me. Go get clothed while I finish off Rangiku and give her her punishment for losing. Then we can start a new round."
Seeing the chaos going on in front of her, Retsu could only smile wryly. Since meeting Yuna, her life had gotten quite hectic, but she couldn't deny that she was having quite a lot of fun, so everything wasn't too bad.
"Oh well, Guess I'll join in as well."
"Ohh! That's the spirit, Retsu!"
Comments
Tsundere
The universe revolves around yuna
Christian Jeffress
Another fantastically hilarious chapter, thank you very much
