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Nero Walker, Book 2 Ch.31 (63)
🕑 Added 2024-01-01 23:30:01 +0000 UTCIt had taken them two days of hard travel to get back to Dorchester. Mike and his team of hunters were looking forward to a hot meal and some sleep. But first, they had to report their sighting of a proto-dungeon. Getting paid was more important than their comfort.
After they finally got through the gates, they made their way through the crowds easily. People parted to let the group past. It probably had a lot to do with their smell. Each of them was covered in grime and blood. It was clear that the group of four had been through the wilds, and were deserving of some respect.
Taking it as their due, they didn’t think much of it. Jerry, the illusion mage, spoke up, “So, first we report in, see what we can get for the coordinates, then a meal?”
Mike, their leader and resident rogue, just nodded. Heather, their archer, ignored him. Sarah, the healer, was nice enough to at least reply, “Yup. That’s the plan. Is it just me, or is this place busier than it was a week ago?”
Mike had been looking around, and he had noticed the same thing. “There is definitely something going on. Come on, let’s get to the lodge and get paid.”
Increasing their pace, they soon found the crowd in front of the Hunter Association. Pushing their way through, they entered the Hall of the Hunt and found a free teller.
“We’ve just come from wilds and have to report on a possible proto-dungeon,” Mike said without preamble.
The teller didn’t respond like they had assumed he would. Instead of being surprised, he just asked, “What are the coordinates?” Pressing some buttons on his desk, a map of the east wilds was projected on top of his desk.
While Mike, Heather, and Jerry were confused, Sarah caught on quickly. “We’re not the first to report a sighting are we? How bad is it?” she asked.
The teller gave them a look. Noticing their haggard appearance, his eyes seemed to soften a little. In a calm tone of voice, he said quietly, “It’s all bad. Even if you are reporting something we already know about, that still leaves 34 proto-dungeons currently active. The wilds are teeming with monsters, beasts, mutated beasts, and the hordes are already forming. The dead from the noble war are feeding the fresh spawns and everything is progressing fast. It will be months before a tide hits, but at this point, everyone knows it’s coming. I’m sorry to say, you probably won’t get much for reporting a proto-dungeon in these conditions.”
The team’s shoulders sagged, and the weight of the past few days hit them all at once.
Mike spoke up, “Fair enough.” He leaned over and started manipulating the projection of the wilds. “Here is where we saw the proto-dungeon. Open up a node, and I’ll send you the memory engram of the beasts it was spawning.”
After manipulating his desk, he gave Mike a nod and waited for him to connect. After a few seconds, Mike gave returned the nod and sent him the memory.
The teller spent a minute in silence, going over what Mike had sent him. As the hunters waited, their hope for a payday waned.
Sighing, the teller looked up at them and said, “Sorry. That one has already been reported. But they didn’t get a good look at the monster spawns, they just recorded the location. So you can get 5 ‘lordly valens’. That’s something at least.”
Nodding, Mike thanked him and filled out the paperwork. The process only took a few minutes, and their account was credited with 50,000 ‘common valens’. It was a good pay-day, but nothing special. Their gear needed repair, and housing costs were going to suck if they didn’t want to stay in the bunks.
The team found an area off to the side of the hall to regroup and discuss their plans.
As they circled up, Mike looked at them with a grim face and asked, “So, what do we think?”
Heather spoke up first, “We need a money. This isn’t enough to get us out of Dorchester. And if we stay, we’ll have to pay Victor’s wife his share, which cuts into our profits even more. This is a disaster.”
Jerry and Sarah nodded. Mike rubbed his chin in thought. All of them stood in silence, Heather’s simple summation of their situation was as accurate as it was depressing.
Eventually, Mike addressed the group, “We’ve been in tight spots before. This is no different. We just have to look at alternate means of income.”
Sarah looked uncomfortable, and asked, “I hope you aren’t thinking of what I think your thinking of. We did that once, and it was for a good reason. They were shitty people that deserved it. There are probably tons of ways to get a payday with all the essence flying around out there right now. Acting like raiders is unnecessarily stupid.”
Mike looked at the group and judged their faces to see how they were taking what he said. Heather seemed fine with it, and Jerry seemed to not care what they did. But Sarah would be a problem.
Locking eyes with her, Mike said, “We don’t have as many options as you think. There are a lot of hunters here. Just look around. Every hunter in the city is active and working. Every day more will come in from the villages, looking to make their valens.” Waving his hand, he indicated the packed hunter’s hall.
Sarah looked around and grimaced. Though she wasn’t blind to what he was saying, the less than savory aspects of being a hunter had never been her thing. Teams that wiped out other teams were eventually hunted in return. Moral questions aside, it was just not a good idea in the long run. Scavenging gear was one thing, but if she was right, Mike was suggesting actively hunting targets of opportunity. They only did that once, and it was a team of assholes a few years ago. Sarah didn’t object at the time, because to be honest, their leader was a scumbag. Jennifer Hitchens was the woman’s name, and her team made stealing bounties into an art form.
Making a decision, Sarah hardened her eyes and said, “Alright. If there is another situation like we had before, I’m in. Otherwise, I think it’s time we part ways. With all the hunters here, I won’t have trouble finding a new team.” As she looked to the faces of her team, she saw Mike’s smile and Heather and Jerry’s indifference. Come to think of it, why would she stay with these people. Even if they found a target, could she trust a team that thought like this? Maybe it was better to cut ties now. Sarah met each of their eyes, and before Mike could say anything, she interrupted him.
“On second thought, I think I’ll take my leave now. I’ll take my valens and go. I don’t want any part of what you’re going to do. I’m not judging, but I just don’t want to walk that path. It’s been nice knowing you all, but I think it’s time we part ways,” she said.
Heather’s eyebrows rose in surprise, but Jerry just nodded as if it weren’t a surprise. Mike frowned and said, “Are you sure? We’ve been working well for over 10 years, you and I are the only ones still around from the beginning. You want to end it like this?”
Sarah offered him a small smile and replied, “Sorry Mike, I think we’re just heading in different directions. I wish you the best.” Using her link she withdrew from the team, taking her share of the account with her. “May your paths be wide and clear,” she said, then gave them a curt nod and turned away to go find a shower.
As the remaining members of the team watched Sarah leave, Heather spoke up, “While you were having your heart-wrenching goodbye with the incorruptible healer, I’ve been speaking with some old acquaintances. Our old noble friend needs a favor, and I think we have an opportunity for a real payday.” Heather’s smile was cold and her eyes glinted with mischief.
Mike looked over at her, and returned the smile. “Well? Don’t keep us in suspense,” he ordered.
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Nero rushed into Nick’s room, eyes wide with panic. Without giving Nick a chance to say anything, Nero blurted out, “Tell me you brought toilet paper!”
Nick was staring at Nero in confusion. His hands were frozen holding a pillow-case, half applied to a pillow. Seeing Nero’s state, he tried to figure out what Nero was talking about.
“You need to use the bathroom?” asked Nick, his voiced tinged with worry and confusion.
Nero started shaking his head while gripping his hair with his hands. He started pacing back and forth. “Communal bathrooms Nick. There are no doors. Everyone showers together. But that’s not the worst part. The toilets Nick! They are just out there… exposed! And the cherry on top of the dump-cake is that I didn’t see any toilet paper,” Nero finished with a shout.
Nick was trying to piece together what Nero was trying to say. He didn’t see a problem with anything Nero just described. Maybe it was a cultural thing? He needed more information.
Stuffing the remainder of his pillow into its covering, he placed it on the bed. Turning to Nero, he put his hands on his hips and asked, “Is it the proximity of the toilets to the shower that you’re having a problem with? And why do you of all people need toilet paper?”
Nero’s pacing just stopped as his brain short-circuited. “What the hell does that mean? Me of all people. I shit too Nick! Wait… am I not supposed to be shitting?” Nero was hysterical.
Nick raised his hands and tried to calm Nero down. “Nero, take a breath and start from the beginning. What’s the problem?” he asked calmly.
Nero took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes. After 30 seconds, he opened them and stared at Nick with an intensity that was unnerving. In a tight voice, he said, “Nick, I know the translation magic of the world is working, so I need you to LISTEN. There is no toilet paper. There isn’t even a place for them to put the roll. The design is for people to shit and then go to the showers and wash themselves. We’re going to be standing in our excrement as we shower. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?”
Nick was trying to follow Nero’s line of thought, and he came to a startling conclusion. “Nero, do you not know how to clean yourself with magic? That’s usually the first thing people learn. Many people can cast that spell before they even awaken,” he said in astonishment.
Nero’s eyes narrowed to slits and he said, “Show me the damn spell-form.”
Chuckling, Nick didn’t even raise his hands. A spell form appeared instantly, and Nero could feel Nick forcing it to not activate. It was the simplest spell form Nero had ever seen. It simply channeled ‘purification essence’ at the caster. There was one input, and the output was directed onto the caster.
Nero had no trouble copying the spell-form. Seconds later, Nero felt the grime on his body disappear, and he felt as fresh as a daisy. His eyebrows rose as the pleasant feeling lingered.
“So then why do the other bathrooms I’ve seen have toilet paper?” Nero asked.
Smiling, Nick said, “Even if you can cast the spell, lots of people don’t waste their center on something so trivial. This is the army though, stress is required for growth. Everyone is expected to be able to clean themselves.”
Nero thought about it, “Stress is required for growth? Is that why there are no doors in the bathroom?”
Cocking his head in confusion, Nick replied, “Nero, just because I understand what the words your using, doesn’t mean I understand how your brain works.”
Breaking into a chuckle, Nick continued, “One thing has nothing to do with the other. You’re going to be heading into the wilds with these people. You’ll be together, facing life and death struggles with them for weeks at a time. At some point you’ll guard each of them as they crap in a hole that you helped dig. Why would showering together cause you stress?”
Seemingly missing the point, Nero replied, “There are girls in the unit. Aren’t they going to be uncomfortable showering next to the men? Do we shower with swim trunks on or something? Or is there a privacy spell that I don’t know about?”
Nick didn’t seem to understand Nero’s problem, and asked, “There are many privacy spells, but why would you use them in the shower? Are you ashamed of something? Is there a physical deformity that I missed during your testing? I don’t remember seeing anything during your scan.”
“Nick. Are you saying that no one cares about being naked around other people?” Nero replied, trying to get Nick to see reason.
“Nero, no. Why would anyone care?” he asked right back.
“Because men could get excited seeing naked women. The women would feel objectified and stuff,” Nero said, almost whimpering as he imagined the shame.
Nick just stood there staring at Nero like a puzzle that didn’t have all the pieces. “Nero, are you worried you can’t control yourself around a woman you find attractive? If so, we have bigger concerns than you being uncomfortable naked,” he said seriously.
“What? No, of course not. I’m just saying, aren’t separate bathrooms for men and women a thing here?” Nero asked, begging for the answer to be ‘yes’.
“No. They’re not. People are expected to have a modicum of self control and a basic awareness of their surroundings. You don’t have to worry about people ‘objectifying’ you in the shower,” Nick said. Apparently the word ‘objectifying’ didn’t translate well. He seemed to think the word itself was stupid.
Nero didn’t know what to say, so he just stood there like an idiot. From behind him, he heard a chuckle.
“This is going to be great. I have a feeling your going to be fun to watch. I don’t know why I ever thought about turning down this job,” said Ms. Averett.
Nero spun around to see the hawk leaning against the door jam with a cruel smile on her face. ‘Well, that’s that. I’m fucked,” Nero thought, as he resigned himself to a week of pain and shame.
