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[GUtW]—❈—35:: Fish, Penguin & Chameleon
🕑 Added 2023-07-11 13:52:26 +0000 UTC'When did my house become the designated meeting spot for the team?' I wonder as Naruto and Sakura show up at my door together, already embroiled in some nonsensical argument, about penguins of all things. 'And why the fuck did I ever agree to it?'
The argument continues even as they walk in, with Sakura barely taking a breath to say hey to me before returning to calling Naruto an idiot.
"You idiot," she says heatedly, "just because it can't fly doesn't mean it isn't a bird. That's not how it works."
"Oh yeah?" Naruto asks. "Then name one fish that can't swim."
Sakura immediately opens her mouth to speak, then realizes that she can't actually think of a fish that can't swim, so she screams in frustration instead.
"Exactly," Naruto says triumphantly.
Sakura growls, then she looks to me.
"Sasuke," she practically demands, "tell this… dummy, that penguins are birds."
I close my eyes, suck in a long, deep breath, hold it for two seconds, then let it out.
'Where the fuck is Kakashi?'
—❈—
Kakashi shows up an hour later, almost at ten a.m.
By then, both for the sake of my sanity and my teammate's continued wellbeing, I've dragged them both outside for some light sparring, so we can better familiarize ourselves with each other's combat styles.
We set it up two against one, rotating every ten minutes, so two of us can improve our cohesion while the third practices defending against multiple opponents.
By the time Kakashi shows up, it's me and Naruto against Sakura, and by now we've worked up a bit of a sweat, though none of us, not even Sakura, are anywhere near our limits yet.
Back to his usual antics, we get no awareness of Kakashi's presence until he speaks.
"Nice to see my cute, little Sannin being diligent," he says, making Naruto and Sakura jump. "It fills my old heart with pride." Here he adds an obviously fake sniff as he wipes a nonexistent tear from his eye.
"Sensei, stop doing that," Sakura begs, getting her heart back under control.
"Yeah," Naruto agrees. "And why are you late? We've been waiting over an hour!"
"Well, my hot neighbour asked me to help her move some stuff," Kakashi says, "and it took a long time for me to put my clothes back on after I was done."
Sakura and Naruto blink. I sigh.
"Um… why did you have to put your clothes back on?" Sakura asks carefully.
Kakashi frowns, his expression one of innocent confusion. "Because I took them off. Obviously."
Sakura and Naruto stare at each other.
"Yeah, but why would you need to take them off in the first place?" Sakura asks.
"Yeah, you just said you were only helping your neighbour move stuff," Naruto adds.
"Well, obviously," Kakashi says, "the stuff we were moving were dusty and I didn't want my clothes to get dirty. Why else do you think I would take them off?"
Sakura and Naruto turn into red, spluttering messes, and Kakashi chuckles deviously.
Angry and embarrassed, Naruto screams; "You know why, you bastard. Stop messing with us."
Decided that the joke has gone on long enough, I ask a question that's actually relevant; "How did you do it?"
"Do what?" Kakashi asks honestly.
"Sneak up on us," I explain. "Naruto and I were staring at Sakura, so we could see behind her, and she was staring at us, so how did you manage it?
"How do you always do it?"
Kakashi laughs smugly. "Well, my cute genin," he says, "maybe one day when you're as amazing as me, I'll—"
"The Chameleon Jutsu," Sakura says, making Naruto and I stare at her. "That's how he does it. It has to be."
Virtually confirming her words, Kakashi pouts. "Did you have to go and ruin my fun, Sakura?" he asks.
Sakura looks pleased with herself.
"Wait, I thought The Chameleon Jutsu was a bloodline ability from Sand," Naruto says.
"It isn't," I say. "It is from Sand, yes, but it's a jutsu."
A genjutsu to be specific. A notoriously difficult one to learn.
To be fair though, all genjutsu are difficult to learn. Or, more accurately, all genjutsu worth learning, are difficult to learn. It's why there are virtually no genjutsu masters.
See, regular genjutsu works by infiltrating and manipulating the mind of a target with your chakra, but unless you have a bloodline ability like the sharingan to help, it's very limited and ineffective.
For one thing, your chakra actually has to cross the intervening space to reach your target, creating a rather significant range limitation, and for another, even the most chakra insensitive people are likely to notice foreign chakra entering their systems.
It's why most genjutsu are really only useful, or even used at all, on civilians, or already caught ninja in chakra suppression cuffs.
For genjutsu like The Chameleon Jutsu though, chakra is used to actively manipulate the physical world, creating an objective illusion that is perceived by everyone.
Well, everyone without an ability like the byakugan or sharingan.
The Chameleon Jutsu for example, works by creating a thin, permeable film of chakra around yourself.
If done right, this film of chakra will perfectly reflect the caster's surroundings in such a way as to provide complete invisibility, even while in high speed motion.
The jutsu is so effective that the only known thing that can see through it is the byakugan; not even the sharingan can, though it can pick up the person shaped film of chakra that is the technique.
"You should teach that to Sakura," I say. "With a technique like that she'll automatically be an A-rank ninja."
Sakura immediately shakes her head. "I wish, but genjutsu like that are chakra-guzzlers," she says. "My reserves can't handle it."
I look at the girl like she's stupid. "Your reserves won't always be this small. They're growing everyday, especially now that we're entering our teens."
It's a well-known fact that ninja make the most improvement in our ability and chakra growth during our early to mid teens. After that it slows drastically in our late teens and virtually halts by the time we're in our twenties.
"Yeah," Naruto chimes in. "Besides, isn't Kakashi-sensei teaching you how to increase your chakra and stuff?"
"Economize," Sakura corrects him.
"Same difference," Naruto dismisses.
Sakura looks at me. "What about you?" she asks. "Don't you want to learn it too?"
I shrug. "I'll try," I say simply.
And I will. I doubt I can learn it. But I certainly intend to try.
Sakura looks to Kakashi. "Will you teach me?" she asks.
Our sensei snorts. "Will I teach you," he says. "Of course, I'll teach you. That's my job.
"Who knows," he adds, "maybe you'll even learn it before the Chūnin Exams in two weeks."
At those words, we all stare at Kakashi, me with a rising feeling of dread in my chest.
"Does it matter if I don't?" Sakura asks slowly.
Kakashi takes a moment to think about it.
"Not really," he says finally. "But I imagine it'll help a lot since I signed you guys up for it."
"What!?"
"Oh, didn't I tell you? I signed you up for The Chūnin Exams."
