heartdamage
patreon
Can you guys do me a favor?
🕑 Added 2020-11-24 02:26:31 +0000 UTCHi everyone. I know I’ve been MIA for the last few days so I thought I’d hop on and give you guys an update as to what’s happening.
My brother is going to need another kidney transplant and is once again stage 5 kidney failure. The doctors were able to confirm that it was by no doing of his own. They said even if they’d ran tests a month ago, they wouldn’t have caught it. My brother is going to go back on dialysis and is going back into surgery within the next few days as well. We have an appointment set in mid December to discuss me beginning the process of being evaluated to see if I can be my brothers donor. My sister in law and my mom both work and go to school full time and I am the only one who can take the time off so I am going to help him and go to appointments with him. I have also volunteered my home for him to set up his dialysis equipment as he currently lives in a very small apartment and probably will not have the space to do it there.
I came on here to post an update but I started clicking around because I saw I lost quite a few patrons. When you unpatron someone, it will ask you for a reason as to why and that survey doesn’t go to Patreon. It comes to me. A bunch of the people who have unpatroned me have selected that I haven’t been as active as they expected or that they didn’t like the benefits I provided.
If you’re going to unpatron me, please do me a favor and don’t tell me that I did something wrong or you didn’t like what I’m doing.
I’ve been doing patreon for almost 2 years. In the almost 2 years I’ve been doing this, I’ve never taken a month off. I’ve never taken a week off. I’ve taken 2 or 3 days at a time but I’ve never taken a full break. I’ve been working on about 50 audios a month for the last almost 2 years. Can you cum on command? Cause I sure can’t. I come on here and I share my intimacy with all of you, sometimes even undermining my intimacy with my partner, in order to be able to provide you all with one or two audios.
I’ve been honest about what’s going on with me right now. If I have to be honest, it’s very easy for me to act like everything is fine even when it’s not. I haven’t been sleeping or eating. I feel disillusioned by the fact that I have done and sacrificed everything for my family and for some reason or another, I am reliving this nightmare again. Am I a bad person? I’m only human and I’m trying my best but sometimes it’s hard and I was hoping in sharing that with all of you, you would understand what I’m going through.
I told all of you I was thinking of taking a break because I need to take care of and be there for my family. Do you think I like knowing I won’t have an income for a month? No, it’s stresses me out but I know I need to do this in order to catch up with my work and also be my brothers caregiver while we prepare for whats coming while he gets a transplant. For almost 2 years, I have recorded consistently, shared my life with you, cum on audios for you and I share what is going on and all of the sudden none of that matters anymore? The 60+ patreon exclusives don’t matter? The early access audios i have lined up? The SFW stuff I’ve done?
It’s extremely discouraging and I am so fucking sorry I am letting you down so badly. I’m only human. I’m trying my best. I am so sorry I didn’t live up to the expectation of the heartdamage you heard on Reddit.
At this time, I plan to take the month of December off. If you’re waiting for custom work, it’ll be sent out between now and the end of December. Ill be coming back on January 1st. If you’re willing to stay put while I pause for a month (you won’t be charged) and would like me to continue to work on something for you, or you want to listen to my audios when I come back, I’m so excited that you understand and want to stick with me. If you don’t, that’s fine. But you don’t need to make me feel bad for being a human being and being there for my family by telling me what I’ve provided until this month hasn’t been enough.
I know a few of you wanted to help me stay on my feet in December and I honestly am not really sure how to go about making that happen, though I would be lying if I said it wouldn’t be extremely appreciated. If anyone has suggestions, feel free to send me a message.
I am again super sorry to anyone I’ve offended or hurt with my disclosure of the hardships I’m going through. That was never my intention and I’m sorry the work I’ve done thus far hasn’t been enough.
Wishing you all a very nice thanksgiving,
M.
Comments
Hugo The Marvelous
Saw your story via Emmafielder. Saw the shitstorm you are going through and I love your work. I'm now your patron. I hope you get better! I'm looking forward to you getting back to what you do so well!
lunar hiccups
You are one of the hardest working people I know. Your work here is THE best. You’ve been doing this for two years, at top quality, consistently, and you’ve never taken a break from it. You’ve also been putting out free work on top of all this. The least people can do is show gratitude and love for you on their way out, and it take someone disgusting to be so hurtful. You don’t deserve this. It breaks my heart to see one of my best friends going through this and I’m so sorry. You have put HUNDREDS of hours in and sharing your life and work like this takes so much emotional energy. You and your family are in my thoughts right now and I’m going to be staying and supporting you always. This doesn’t get said enough but THANK you for the work you do put out. It’s not easy, and you deserve the world for what you do.
Just A Bananna
I'm sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time. My grandfather is also not doing well, turns out cancer's a real mean douchebag, and its real shitty that people are kicking you while you're down. I will say that you work very hard, you are passionate with your work and I appreciate all the work you do. I don't have any plans to leave your patreon anytime soon. Take the time you need to take care of yourself.
djKENTO
How dare any of these ingrates make you feel like you have to apologize for dealing with real life. I am so sorry they made you feel that way. I am so angry at them.
