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Intrusive thoughts
🕑 Added 2023-04-26 08:34:40 +0000 UTCQuinn offers their clothes to Hati/Niall's POV
“That won’t fit,” I say as your friend offers you the clothes from their back. They’re a small fellow, they remind me of those little dogs who yap at you despite their size. Your friend ignores me, as they’ve done many times before tonight. They don’t even spare me a glance of disdain this time. Instead, they start taking off their tunic with the conviction of a flamen.
I shake my head and turn away to give you privacy. Your friend doesn’t. Your relationship with them is difficult to unravel. It’s as if they hold you close to their heart but at the same time, they don’t care about you. It’s a weird contrast that makes me feel uneasy. Worry over your safety lingers at the back of my head every time I turn my back and leave you alone with them, even if only for a moment.
I turn back to you, and the uneasiness that was weighing on my chest dissolves as soon as I see you. The tunic that’s now on you is small but that much was already given. Besides that, it’s also dirty and unkept, as if the owner didn’t care about maintaining their clothes, as if such things were beneath them. Blood-red doesn’t suit you. Something about the color makes the pit of my stomach feel heavy.
Your frame is too powerful for that piece of clothing. Seeing your naked biceps, however, makes me almost frown. It’s so cold and all you have is that tiny tunic. Neverminding the worry, however, my gaze starts to follow the veins in your bare arms, unsure where else it should be aimed at.
Finally, I realize that you’re looking at me.
Uh. “You look good. The tunic reveals your, uh–” What? Don’t go there! You absolute idiot.
Your friend gives me a quick glance. There’s not a trace of mischievous glee in their eyes, there’s only malice.
With the speed of a serpent attacking their prey, they say: “It reveals your beautiful muscles, he was going to say.”
No.
“Nice, nice muscles.” Your friend gives me a little grin.
You want to fuck Hati, huh?
Blood escapes my face.
No no no no.
Why are they talking like that? How did they know? What was the voice? Another surge of intrusive thoughts? Why didn’t they sound like they usually do? It didn’t sound like the men picking apart how I look like, how I sound like, how I should act, and who I should love.
It didn’t even sound like me.
Or do you want Hati to fuck you?
I look at the fiend who sounds like they’re talking in my head. Their gaze pierces my soul, all-seeing and all-knowing.
I’m naked and they see everything. Every inch of my body, everything that makes me flinch in this world. Every little lie I’ve ever told, every secret I hold. They see it and they will exploit it all.
Their grin widens.
“He imagines what it’s like to–”
“NO,” I shout, only to realize that my voice is raspy and devoid of hope. You turn to me. There’s a small smile lingering on your lips. Or was it concern that I saw? I don’t know. I’m too… I need to calm down.
The intrusive voices are uncomfortably loud today. That’s all there is, they’re just intrusive thoughts. Your friend caused it by being such an unsettling person.
Finally, the feeling passes. Your friend gives me a little grin, this time the mischievous kind. It’s as if they were only misbehaving. Looking at the cat-like grin causes me to doubt everything that just happened.
Sure, the voice in my head sounded like your friend. However, I’m clearly just overwhelmed by what happened.
Right?
Comments
Emily Williams
Niall needs a hug, but I feel like that would just make things worse
Haley Mattos
Niall definitely needs a proper talk after Quinn leaves :L poor boi
Niall has officially become my definition of Gay Panic™️, I love him
Haley Mattos
ok I thought this was going to be all light-hearted fun but it wasn't
